Sunday mornings. She loved Sundays with him the most because they were the days that they really took “off”. It was the only day a week where they
didn’t make plans and they lazed around the apartment all day; Emsley usually with a book and Luxe sketching something for her line or draping
fabric for her next piece. Sundays were the days she lived for since they moved here because it was one of the few days they got peace. Only today it
didn’t seem like both of them were completely relaxed...Emsley had been a little off for the past few days, his mind wandering at the oddest of
times and in the middle of conversations. Luxe had chalked it up to family pressure. She knew he had gotten a call from his father earlier in the week
which meant he’d probably have to leave for a bit for some type of event back home, but when he didn’t say anything about leaving she was sure it
was nothing...now though she was beginning to wonder.
Luxe laid across the floor of their living room, pencil poised between her fingers but her she had stopped drawing ages ago. Her eyes had been on him.
He sat quietly on the sofa, staring at the television. He’d been channel surfing earlier, so it shouldn’t have been too strange...and it
wouldn’t have been if it weren’t for the fact that he’d stopped on CSPAN. She was beginning to worry...
“Ems...You’re kinda quiet up there?” She sat up, tucking her legs under her as she turned her attention to him completely. “You’ve been
kinda quiet for the last couple days actually...”
But isn’t it also that on some fundamental level
We find it difficult to understand that other people are human beings
in the same way we are?
We idealize them as gods or dismiss them as animals.
Pop, pop, pop, pop... It was funny, really. How Emsley had never noticed how the channels on the telly in the living room made an irritating,
little Pop! the second you switched the station. It was becoming synchronous with the ticking second hand on the fashionable analog clock
that sat on the side table near the couch. Wonderful. As if Emsley needed something else to remind him of the passing time. Giving up on the switching
of stations, he settled on CSPAN, some piece about the Senate on the air. Wonderful, this "wonderful" being a lot less sarcastic as the first one
because no news about his country was wonderful news and no news about his family was even better.
"I'm alright, love." He answered automatically, successfully swallowing a stuttered "I'm" as Luxe's voice broke through his thoughts. If this was a
happier time, he would've applauded himself for the lack of stutter in his sentence. But as he'd been holding on to the secret that he was clutching
for dear life at the moment for a WEEK, he wasn't so sure that celebrations were in order. Yes, he hadn't stuttered under the huge amount of pressure
he was feeling at the moment. But...there was no moment of rejoicing for holding on to yet another secret from Luxe.
"Just hoping to get some news about...Prime Minister Cameron. He's speaking about Syria and North Korea...darling." He was the WORST liar in the
world. In the entire world. For two reasons, actually AND he could name them without trying. Number one, he hated politics and all political issues,
making CSPAN his least favorite channel. And two, he always pet named Luxe when he was avoiding the truth...which he'd just done two seconds previous
and he'd failed to catch himself. He just couldn't help himself as he snuck a glance down at her, smiling his crooked smile that he smiled when he was
on the brink of getting caught.
I’m alright, love. No, he wasn’t. She’d known him long enough to know the difference between him trying to be cute and him lying. This
was the latter. She’d watched him, for almost a week now, fade in and out of conversations. She’d seen him get lost in his thoughts over and
over…ever since that phone call. Even his sleep was restless as he spent a good portion of their nights tossing and turning. She hadn’t said
anything because he knew his title was something he didn’t like to deal with, but she wanted him to be okay. She didn’t know what was bothering
him, but she did know it was something. And it probably had to do with his family.
His lie continued as he said something about a Prime Minister and some countries she was sure he had zero interest in. Luxe sighed, her face twisting
into a soft pout as she looked up at him with her signature puppy dog look that usually got her what she wanted. She stood, covering the short
distance to the couch and sitting beside him, her arms looping around his torso. She snuggled into him, her head resting just beneath his chin as she
made herself comfortable.
“You know you can talk to me about anything, Emsley.” She was facing forward, her eyes watching some unknown somebody say something about budget
cuts and the fiscal cliff. She didn’t like being on the outside of his life. She knew how hard it was having to keep them separate, but she wanted
him to know she could do the whole title and dukedom thing. She was here for him. He could at the very least talk to her, “I can’t promise I’ll
get it, but we can talk about it if you want…”
She just wanted him to be okay…to be...himself.
But isn’t it also that on some fundamental level
We find it difficult to understand that other people are human beings
in the same way we are?
We idealize them as gods or dismiss them as animals.
You can talk to me about anything, Emsley. Like that had completely been true. There had always been secrets, even from the very beginning of
them. On her part and on his. Even if those secrets were kept in the most purist of places and for the most purist of reasons, they were still
secrets. Shite didn't change because you renamed it. He hated keeping things from her...now, just as much as he had when they were younger. When they
were younger, he hadn't really had a choice about the secret he'd had to keep from her. The secret he kept now? He had all the choices. He wasn't
keeping it because he needed to...but because he wanted to. When you told the truth...wasn't it supposed to get rid of all of the drama? Set
you free? This was only going to make matters worse.
He shifted uncomfortably as he watched "the pout" shift her petite features. Flinching, he tried to look away, knowing that that face meant the end of
all secrets and beginning of a discussion that he didn't necessarily want to have. He avoided all discussion that had to do with "responsibilities"
and "family" those days, never failing to change the subject when anyone decided they wanted to talk about those two subjects. Things had been hard
enough since the life he was avoiding had finally caught up with him. The day his grandfather passed away was the day that all simplicity left and
everything because...hard. Hard and undesirable. He'd never known the importance of being Emsley until that moment. Now he knew and balancing what he
was and what he would be was annoying...and difficult. And balancing the new expectations for his life with what he had lived...and loved before was
even worse.
Emsley watched her as Luxe stood from the place where she sat and walked to him. He held his breath as she sat beside him, but it was to no avail. Her
sweet scent invaded his nose, overtaking him as her arms wrapped around him and her head met her chest. Her warmth made his eyes close, a tiny smile
touching his face. He couldn't help it as he lowered his lips to the top of her head, kissing her soft, blonde hair. His body relaxed as he exhaled,
calming at her touch. She was working her magic, she was. The tingling sensation that she always caused when she was close moved from Emsley's
fingertips, to his arms, and right to his chest where she lay. Sighing deeply, he listened to her words, frowning slightly as he took them in. He
couldn't help the guilt that flooded his frame. She thought it was something...diplomatic. Something about his future. No. Not exactly. And that made
him feel even worse for keeping it from her.
"It's not..." He started, huffing as he sorted through his words. "It's not about that at all...it's about...it's about my f-f-family." Stuttering.
Not a good start.
She was here to help. Honestly, that was all she had tried to do from the moment she got over herself and came to try to understand this whole royalty
thing. Luxe wanted a lot of things for Emsley, the most important of which being his happiness. She knew how anxious his title made him and she knew
he didn’t really care to talk about it much, but he couldn’t keep holding things like this in. He’d explode and she couldn’t have that. She
needed him. She needed her best friend to be her best friend. With the move and all the changes and work and...everything else, Emsley was her only
reprieve from it all. That’s why Sundays were so important to her. It was the day she got to be herself, while the man she loved got to be himself.
Only today he wasn’t.
Luxe felt some of his tension ease as she slid into the space next to him, her head resting against his chest before his lips pressed against the
crown of her head. The way it often did when they were like this. See. Normalcy. It was easy. Holding on to things was hard. He just needed to talk
about whatever was bothering him and things would be fine. She could make things okay if he let her. She smiled, at his simple nearness; something she
got often but never tired of. It faded though when he began talking...or trying to talk. His nerves were in his voice as his stutter surfaced. Uh oh.
It’s about my family. She sat up then, positioning herself to look at him and see how serious things were. Had something happened? Had
someone else died? She didn’t know, but she would soon she guessed. “Did something happen? Do you need to go home?” She had another question on
the tip of her tongue, but she paused, thinking first of the consequences.
“Do you need me to go with you?”
But isn’t it also that on some fundamental level
We find it difficult to understand that other people are human beings
in the same way we are?
We idealize them as gods or dismiss them as animals.
Since his grandfather's death, this was the usual for them. Emsley holding on to something that involved his future position and title and Luxe
attempting to understand it. The way that so many things were changing and she couldn't understand any of it was unfair to her. Sometimes, he wished
he could just write every rule and every detail down about what would happen in their lives once his position of heir apparent turned into a true
Dukedom. He wanted to tell her about what would be expected of him and how those expectations would alter and shift...everything. But he couldn't.
Partly because he was learning himself...and partly because the traditions were so antiquated and...stupid that none of it would make sense
to her. It was just a lot of rigamarole that had nothing to do with nothing. The only think it did was try to drive a separation between Emsley and
one of the only things he'd ever really loved. Everything was lost in translation now and the only thing keeping them sane was...their devotion to
each other.
"N-no...no. Luxe...everyone's...everything's fine! Really!" With one mention of the word "family", Luxe fell into her devotion to him, not even
knowing the situation. Just...wanting to be there for him. Even through him apparently hiding something, she didn't pry for what he was hiding...she
just wanted to help. He loved that about her. In everything, she was so patient and understanding, even when there were things that he couldn't find
the words to explain to her to help her truly understand. Smiling through his nervousness, Emsley touched Luxe's face lightly, silencing her
questions.
He had to tell her. It hadn't been fair that he'd hidden this from her as long as it had...and now it wasn't fair to her that he was taking
so long to finally get to the point. There was nothing in Emsley that wanted to even speak about the thing he was holding onto. It would ruin their
Sunday and moreso, it would ruin the next couple of weeks for them. Because for all of the understanding...and patience and love that Luxe was showing
in this situation...he wasn't so sure that it would extend to this.
"You don't have to come with me...at all." He said, his words bated as he tried to find the safest way to give the news to her. "Because I'm...not
going home, love. Home's coming...here."
Do you need me to go with you? It was a question that gave her pause before she asked it. Not because she would take issue with accompanying
him home. She was here for his support. But...things were...complicated between she and his family. When his grandfather died, his family asked that
he go home immediately. Luxe was more than upset with him at the time, but that passed when she found out he was leaving, possibly forever. She ended
up on the plane with him, going to meet his parents...He swears it’s not true, but most of the people she met on this short vacation hated her. She
could think of maybe...two semi-kind people she met when she’d gone? It was bad. But it was made worse by the fact that his mother was the one most
against their relationship and, although she wouldn’t say so in so many words, their association in general.
So yes, she’d paused. But only because she was sure her going with him would do more harm than good. But if it was what he wanted, she’d go...but,
it seemed everything was fine. Or at least that was what he was telling her. It wasn’t fine though. She could look at him and tell and his answer
wasn’t going to fly. “Ems, I know things aren’t fine. You’ve been on eggshells for almost a week. You’re not sleeping well and that’s only
when you do try to sleep...I’m worried.” She was honest. Leaning away from him completely then so that she could face him as she spoke. She wanted
the truth. Straight answers.
His hand came to her face and she sighed, her eyes closing to his touch. She turned her head kissing his palm before meeting his eyes. She would wait.
She would wait and eventually he would tell her and...eventually was now. She didn’t have to go with him. Okay. So she would stay here while
he...Home’s coming here.
“What?” Luxe felt her back straighten, her posture improving as a hand came to fidget with her hair. The usual response when she thought of his
mother and how she would forever fail to meet her impossible standards. What’d he mean by “home”? Was it just his parents? How long would they
stay? Oh! When were they coming? “Emsley, why didn’t you say something? When?!”
She wasn’t ready. She had sketches and fabric swatches scattered about the apartment. She hadn’t done anything remarkable with her hair in a week
and...shit! She had absolutely nothing to wear in front of his mother! She stood, all of the nervous energy in her pooling at her feet and
giving her the urge to pace. She didn’t though, opting to shift from foot to foot as she tried to get more information.
“Is...is she coming?”
But isn’t it also that on some fundamental level
We find it difficult to understand that other people are human beings
in the same way we are?
We idealize them as gods or dismiss them as animals.
Home is coming here? And that was the best way that Emsley could have broken the news of his family's impending visit? He was clumsy with his
words...per usual. Well! There was no use in thinking about the horrible method of his secret's delivery, now was there? It was done. And the
aftermath was here to deal with...in the form of a myriad of questions streaming from Luxe's mouth...and the fidgeting. Whenever Emsley's
family topic of discussion, Luxe's legs crossed at the ankle, her back went rigid and whatever blonde wisps that escaped the cute, loose buns she wore
were tucked back into place, post haste. It was the most...proper fidget Emsley had ever seen. But he knew she only did it because the mere mention of
anyone who she was required to call "sir" or "ma'am" sent her into a panic. A panic he completely understood. Especially when talks of his family led
to mental pictures of...her.
"Luxe...I-" Emsley grimaced as he took on a rendition of Luxe's fidget, pulling at the collar of the All Blacks shirt he wore on their "lounging"
days. The hard questions. That was the type of inquisition Emsley was in for, especially now that Luxe knew...or had some type of idea about their
impending visitation. Why hadn't he told her? He didn't really know! At first, it seemed like the thing to do, considering he had to find a WAY to
tell Luxe that his mother and father were coming for a visit to the States and therefore would be visiting them, too. And then...the thought of
telling her just...it just was overwhelming. And Luxe was the reason why. She...it...everything was just very complicated and there as enough
complication in Emsley's life as it was. But...she deserved to know. And she deserved to know a week ago. But before he could tell her any of this,
she was onto the next question. Is...is she coming?
She.... Emsley knew exactly who Luxe was asking about. The only "she" that could make Luxe's entire demeanor change in less than five
seconds. His mother.
"Well..." He sighed heavily, scratching his normally, impeccably styled coif. "Yes. She and my father, actually."
This was why he had been quiet for the last few days. This was why he’d been zoning in and out on things. This is what had him making CSPAN the
background noise to his thought. His family was coming. His family was coming and he had to tell her...She hated that she made that hard for him, but
it really wasn’t her fault! She had no problem with his family, really. Sure, they were less than nice, but if they could play polite, she could
behave as well. It was them! They hated her ad for the life of her she didn’t know why. Well...she knew why...but she didn’t know why it mattered
that she wasn’t as...proper as they were. They were royalty for Christ’s sake! Who the hell would measure up?! She was still a
good fit for Ems. Something they would know if they’d bothered to give her the slightest chance.
But they didn’t. Which was why she was in this panic now. She couldn’t believe he hadn’t told her sooner! She was almost positive there was
nothing in her closet that his mother would approve of. Because yes, she knew his mom was coming, and depending on how long they were staying she
would need at least a weeks’ worth of nun’s habits to NOT get the evil eye every two minutes. Despite knowing the answer, Luxe asked him the only
question that really mattered to her and got the answer she was expecting, a very vocal aggravated sigh leaving her faster than she could catch it.
She looked at him, the apology in her eyes before she made it.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean...it’s just you know how she is with me and...” She sighed again, softer this time, coming to sit beside him
again. “I want this to go well Emsley and you and I both know it won’t.” They did. His father she could deal with. She might have even called
him sweet when comparing him to his wife. But Emsley’s mother? She would never say it, but there was a perpetual stick in her ass about something
and that something usually had something to do with her son’s life choices. She hated that about her. It was just...frustrating...
“When are they coming?”
But isn’t it also that on some fundamental level
We find it difficult to understand that other people are human beings
in the same way we are?
We idealize them as gods or dismiss them as animals.
She didn't have to apologize, not in the least bit. It was Emsley's fault. All of this. He should've told Luxe about his parents' visit as soon as he
got the call from his father. If he hadn't been concerned about how to break the news to her, maybe he could've actually broke the news to her! No,
the fault was his. But he'd had the best intentions! His family wasn't the...easiest to deal with. For starters, they were royals.
Expectations were too high and tolerance for those who couldn't meet them was too low. And in a world like that, Luxe barely had a fighting
chance...especially when it came to Emsley's mother. His father was a different story. Even though his lineage was purer than most people truly knew,
all things American impressed him. Although Emsley used the word "impress" lightly. His father valued American habits and culture about as much as a
person would be intrigued by a dancing, juggling dog. To him, Luxe was good entertainment...but anything beyond that, his father disagreed. But
Emsley's mother? She was another story. A unyielding, unimpressed other story. She had little time or patience for Luxe...and she didn't hesitate to
let Luxe know the moment the two met. Emsley would take the blame for the situation if it turned out horribly. And knowing his parents, it would.
"D-don't you do that, Luxe." He said, grabbing her wrist as she moved to sit down next to him again. "Don't you dare apologize for something that is
clearly my f-fault." Stumbling over his words, he swallowed hard, his hand leaving her wrist as he let his fingers drift to hers, intertwining with
them. They looked into each others eyes and he hoped she could see the apology there. She didn't need to apologize for the nervousness he knew she
felt now that she knew about his parents' trip. And this was the part he hated. He hated how their life together was always shadowed by this.
His responsibility. His heritage. His...bloodline. It interrupted the moments that were so...beautiful to him. Her sitting and sketching on the
floor...him keeping her quiet company. All of it had been ruined by the mention of his parents and their impending arrival.
"It...I don't know. It may go...okay?" He almost laughed at himself...and at his optimism. He already knew how things would go when his family
arrived. His father would behave and perhaps even engage Luxe...only to remind Emsley, out of earshot of Luxe, that this "affair" could only last so
long. And his mother...well, she would judge. Relentlessly. This...was going to be...a train wreck.
"I-in two weeks. To the day. Father wanted to make sure we had time to prepare..."
It wasn’t his fault or hers really. It was the hand they’d been dealt. Never at odds with one another for too long, but always tied to something
that didn’t allow them to be together. In high school it had been her aspirations for popularity and now it was his parents. She didn’t know why
it had to be so hard for them. They were good people, a great couple, really good together. Everyone saw it. Her mother, her friends, his
friends, strangers...Everyone but his parents. She understood though. They had an image to protect. A name to uphold and she wasn’t...worthy accord
to them...He was Lord Emsley Randolph Alfred St. James Haven, future Duke of Kent and she was...Luxe Delilah de la Croix...from Portland.
She smiled weakly as he told her not to apologize, his fingers slipping into the spaces between hers. She felt some of the anxiousness in her ease at
his simple touch. It was always like that with Ems. Had been for three years. And if she had anything to do with it, it would be like that for a lot
longer. She would try her hardest with his parents and hope for the best...It was really all she could do. She had tried being herself when they met
and that had been a disaster, so this time she would be someone else. Anyone else that his mother would approve of. She just had to figure out how.
Her optimism was reflected in Emsley’s words, and she might have believed him if it wasn’t for the pause and stutter when he tried to tell her it
might be okay. It wouldn’t be. She knew it. He knew it. But they would deal with it. They would deal with it like all the other stuff they’d dealt
with to keep this relationship going and they would come out on the other side of this visit stronger than before. How much time did she have before
their arrival?
Two weeks. “Okay...that’s good. It’ll be fine...” It would be. Two weeks gave her time to get things together. Maybe do a little
research...maybe plan a dinner. She could do this. She would try. Leaning in she kissed him quickly before settling back into the space beside him,
her arms looping around his torso again. A quiet settled and she was reminded of what had started this conversation, CSPAN coming back into focus.
“I love you, Emsley,” her eyes were on the television as she spoke but she could feel his on her.
“I’m going to try. It’ll be better than last time, I promise.”
But isn’t it also that on some fundamental level
We find it difficult to understand that other people are human beings
in the same way we are?
We idealize them as gods or dismiss them as animals.
She would try? Her. Why did it always have to be left up to Luxe to try? To make the attempts that his family didn't have to make? That...was
unfair. But that was the way his family behaved. Life bowed to their needs and waiting was never a word in their vocabulary unless it was paired with
the word "on". In a life of prestige and privilege, the "bending over backwards" colloquialism was unheard of. Emsley couldn't ignore how unjust it
all was, especially when it came to the unrealistic expectations they placed on Luxe, a girl they never wanted to accept in the first place. But
Emsley accepted her. He more than accepted her. He loved her. He loved everything about her. From the tattoo she wore on her shoulder blade
(which his mother thought was "grotesque") that reminded her of where she came from to her love for fashion and all things beautiful, Emsley loved
her. All of her...even when his family couldn't. Well, not couldn't. Wouldn't. Because the last time he checked, there was no law that proclaimed her
unlovable.
"You always try..." He spoke quietly, his hand stroking her cornsilk-colored locks, his head resting against the back of the couch. "I wouldn't ask
for any more from you, love." He would never ask for any more than she could give. Even with all of the books that she read, all of the etiquette
classes she took and all of the things she tried to do to be accepted into a world that Emsley didn't even want to be apart of, she never would be. It
was an ugly truth, really. One that Emsley never wanted to express to her even though somewhere inside of her, he knew she knew. But still she tried,
effort after effort. And he appreciated her fervor, even though he didn't fully think his family deserved it. He didn't care about his world, when it
all came down to it. He'd never thought twice about it until it was thrust into his face...and the one thing that he never expected hung in the
balance. Luxe. A life with her. Happiness with her. And if it came down to a world with her and the world he was born into, it wasn't
difficult to see which one would will out.
"Things will...they will be fine." Emsley's words hesitated as he tried to keep the nervous stutter underway, the one that betrayed ever feeling he
was surely feeling. "We will survive it and they will...they will love you." Forcing out the words that he could only foolishly hope for were getting
more and more difficult.
"And I...will always love you." He whispered, his arms wrapping around her and tightening, no trace of a nervous stutter in his voice to be found.
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