She could feel where Shemar left his mark on her cheek, thigh, and siad. It wasn't the soreness that woke her though. Fumie groaned softly feeling a
familiar tickle at her toes. "Lindberg, no," she wiggled her foot to get Eri's dog away, vaguely wondering how he'd gotten into her bedroom. She wasnt
ready to get up yet. She didnt know what was on her schedule today, but she was sure it could be pushed back a little, couldn't it? She just needed
another few minutes...if this damn dog would leave her feet alone. "Lindy-," sighing she sat up, her eyes opening to realize that the culprit was not
Lindberg...and this was not her bedroom. Fumie chickled, a hand moving through her hair as the night's events came back to her and she realized where
she'd ended up. [I]With him.[/I]
"Hey, Papa," she smiled at the dog that had greeted her when she arrived last night. You would think a stranger coming into the house would spook him,
but she and Zori's dog seemed to be fast friends. She and Zori of course had moved past that title. Friends. What they'd moved on to, she wasnt sure;
but she knew she couldn't call it a friendship any longer. And while Zori was conflicted about that, Fumie found herself smiling at the idea of being
more with him. It was something they could talk about once she figured out where he was.Â
Zori hadnt come to bed last night. If she knew him the way she thought she did, he hadn't entered his bedroom period. Fumie winced as she swung her
legs over the side of the bed to stamd. Papa whined to be petted and she obliged, wincing again as pain shot through her side. She sighed. Her life
was a mess. She needed to pick up Eri, find Koi, work things out with Zori, and if she was being honest with herself, start the process of sivorcing
her husband...something she hadn't thought seroiusly about in a long time. But this morning? Covered in the bruises Shemar left, in the bed of another
man? It all seemed so logical. So right.
Standing, Fumie tugged at the t-shirt she'd helped herself to last night, before running a hand through her hair, hoping it looked semi-presentable.
Quietly, she padded to the door opening it and welcoming the first thing on her to do list. Talking to Zo. Â
I was a heavy heart to carry but, he never let me down.
When he held me in his arms my feet never touched the ground.
Bacon sizzled in the pan on the stove, the smell of it wafting through the kitchen and into the open layout of the living room. Zori mechanically
cooked, his movements rigid. Even though he knew the power of a good meal, his head was somewhere else. It wasn’t in the bacon, it
wasn’t in the grits and it for sure wasn’t in his momma’s salmon croquettes. It was where it had been the entire sleepless
night...in his bedroom...with Fumie...while he “slept†on the living room. Slept meaning tossed and turned on a leather couch that was
made for sitting, not sleeping.
He barely stifled a yawn as he turned over another salmon patty, rolling his shoulders which were stiff from the position he’d laid in for way
too long. It’d been late when he’d finally rolled up to his house, Fumie’s car sitting in the driveway. He’d purposefully
taken his time, driving up and down highways without any real destination. Just to avoid discussing...just to avoid…her. He still
couldn’t think about it or reflect on what had happened the night before. Every time a moment played over in his head...a caress, a moan...any
memory at all, he felt his fingers go numb. His teeth clenched. His eyes closed...and he was right back in his office with her...on his desk. In his
arms…inside of her.
And he was doing it again, his grip on the spatula making his hand throb. Snapping the eye off on the stove a little more roughly than he
should’ve, he ran his hand over his face. He had to stop that shit. He had to. He’d already done everything that he’d
said he wouldn’t and now, he couldn’t stop playing the shit he did over...and over in his head! The hell was wrong with him? He’d
slept with another man’s wife and all he could do was watch his mistake on replay in his mind. The memory of it...that
memory...should’ve made him sick to his stomach. Should’ve made him feel repulsed. Should’ve made him feel repentant. But all it
made him feel...was the need to do everything they’d just done last night all over again.
“Shit…†He muttered, scooping the bacon and salmon patties onto a plate, his ears catching the sound of Papa’s collar
jingling as he trotted into the kitchen, two feet following close behind.
"The greatest wisdom is seeing through appearances."
He was making breakfast. The smell hit her before the sound of it did, making her instantly more aware of how long it had been since she ate. It
seemed like everything Zori attempted he did well because, God, whatever he was making smelled amazing. She followed Papa to the kitchen,
becoming just a little more insecure with each step she took. Fumie knew she looked a mess. She would have given anything for some concealer to cover
the bruises on her neck and face, but life never went the way she wanted it to. If it did, she would’ve met Zori long before Shemar. She
wouldn’t have spent so long discovering what she didn’t want from a marriage. She would’ve been a much better mother to her
kids…
Waving away her thoughts, she stepped into the kitchen, hearing Zori curse as he plated breakfast. “Good morning to you too, Zo-,†she
smirked at him, leaning against the counter furthest away from him. As much as she wanted to be close to him, she wanted to give him his space too.
Fumie knew where he was with this and she would do her best to make him more comfortable with the idea of them getting closer. She pulled herself up
onto the countertop, letting the hem of the shirt she was wearing rise just a bit as she sat. She said more comfortable. Not completely.
“So…how’d you sleep?†was that what she wanted to know? No. She wanted to know why he hadn’t slept with her. She
wanted to know if he was going to continue to be Mr. Do-the-Right-Thing after last night. She wanted to know where they stood.
I was a heavy heart to carry but, he never let me down.
When he held me in his arms my feet never touched the ground.
As he entered the kitchen, Papa's feet padded closer to Zori. The dog's heavy body nudged his leg, Zori instinctively nudging him back, their greeting
to each other since Papa had been a much smaller puppy instead of a big ass dog who didn't know his own strength. Zori smirked softly, shaking his
head...that is until that voice hit his ears. Soft, but strong. Always so serious, but almost playful when she spoke to him. He didn't have to turn
around to know who spoke to him, greeting him that morning. Her voice was mix of things...out of place in his house so early in the morning, but right
at home. Comfortable, but hesitant. Casual...but searching. And for once, Zori wished that he couldn't see through the sound of her greeting.
Actually, he wished that he couldn't see what was coming next...especially since they hadn't resolved a damn thing the night before. All he'd done was
send the married woman that he'd slept with minutes before to his home and let his dog cozy up to her.
"Traitor..." He whispered at Papa, who didn't look the least bit slighted, his tale wagging faster.
"Morning, Fumie." His voice was louder, but still serious...guarded as he turned with the serving plate of food in his hand, sliding it to the top of
his kitchen table. His eyes finally roamed to Fumie, perched on his counter top like the granite was crafted specifically so she could sit there.
"You know...you might be more comfortable in a chair...at the table?" He motioned to where he'd just placed the food, moving to cabinets for plates
and utensils...and scowling quickly at himself. Was that a joke? Had he almost chuckled like they were old friends that hadn't just...did what they
did on his office desk?
"And I slept fine." He answered. Lie. He slept like shit. He could still feel the crick where the arm of that damn sofa imprinted into his
neck. But it was a small price to pay if it meant avoiding what he'd really wanted to do...which was sleep in his own bed. Next to her...
"You look rested." He said simply, placing the plates and utensils on the table.
"The greatest wisdom is seeing through appearances."
Morning Fumie...He wasn't having it. One thing she could credit Shemar with was teaching her to read a man's tone. Zori didn't want to talk
about the elephant in the room. It was different from him though. There was no underlying threat with Zo. She couldn't hear any violence in his voice.
Unfortunately for him, Fumie took that to mean she could push. That had always been her way. With her husband, with her son, even when she was young
and trying to get something out of her father...She had always pushed. Most times she could tell herself that it was for their benefit. Feelings
needed to be talked through, not bottled up. Holding on to things wasn't good for anyone. And while that was still true this morning, she couldn't
even pretend she wasn't about to make Zori talk to her because she needed it.
Fumie smiled as his eyes finally found her and chuckled a little as he suggested taking a seat in a chair. She didn't need to be convinced. Breakfast
looked damn good and it meant they would have to sit together at least until one of them was done eating. That was a good time to talk. She thought
about making a joke and calling him "daddy" since he wanted to scold her, but she spared him. And I slept fine...
"Uh huh-," she smirked at him taking her seat at the table and waiting as he got another plate and utensils. "That was super convincing." He ignored
her teasing continuing to set the and attempting to move the conversation along. She could help with that. She looked rested, huh?
"You could too if you'd come to bed last night." She said it quietly, testing the waters on a conversation she knew he didn't want to have.
I was a heavy heart to carry but, he never let me down.
When he held me in his arms my feet never touched the ground.
Though Zori was making his best attempts at focusing on placing cutlery on his kitchen table like it was the most important event of his entire damn
day, Fumie was doing her best to unfocus him, to pull him out from behind the wall that he’d placed between both of them. She’d always
been a good sparring partner. When they were in “the zone†at his gym, even though he was teaching her, she never backed down and she
thought well on her feet. She maneuvered with the moves she knew and used them to her advantage...even if Zori took her down in the end. But the
kitchen table wasn’t the gym and Zori had to admit…he was out of his league. Fumie, as always, was fighting him with a set of
weapons that he knew all too well and she wasn’t fighting fair. The way she looked amazing in the morning. Her skin glowing...even with her
husband’s bruises on her and Zori’s shirt riding just high enough on her legs to make him nearly drop her salmon croquette that he was
serving her right into her lap. Or...maybe it was her comment that had him clumsier than he’d been in awhile.
Even though he tried to ignore her chiding remark for the second time that morning, this one was something he couldn’t ignore. Fumie had said
it flirtingly, but even behind the “flirtâ€, Zori knew she needed to talk about it. He knew THEY needed to talk about it. It was the
massive elephant in the room and this wasn’t something they could just pretend didn’t happen between them. It wasn’t
something could will away by ignoring that it actually happened either. He knew that.
“You know why I couldn’t do that…†He said quietly as he placed the platter of food on the table. He sat across for her,
his eyes meeting hers again as he tried to keep the shame out of them. But that’s what it was...that’s what he felt. Shame.
He’d been SO in control for the past couple of years. So focused. What was important wasn’t confusing to him anymore. His gym. The
community. The kids he mentored. The legacy he was building. But after Fumie...everything was…
â€...it’s not...easy for me.†His words were confusing, so he sighed...gathering his thoughts.
“This…†He motioned back and forth between he and Fumie, his hand dropping to hesitantly grab hers softly.
“...is complicated. And like the fool I’ve been comfortable with being since I met you, I let it get even more complicated last
night.†He rubbed his fingers against the skin of her hand, his eyes moving back to the table top...his actions not matching his words.
“And some part of me...doesn’t give a damn about that…†He pulled his hand from hers, his nerve endings calling him every
name in the book at his forced distance from her.
“...so you know why I couldn’t get in that bed with you…â€
"The greatest wisdom is seeing through appearances."
You know why I couldn’t do that…†She did. Fumie knew as sure as she was sitting there, that if Zori had come into his
room last night, no matter what time it was, she was going to wake up and they were going to finish what they'd started in his office. She had waited
for him last night. In his shirt. In his bed. She'd waited for as long as she could keep exhaustion at bay before she'd drifted off and she had every
intention of putting them both to sleep when Zori came home. But he never did...and Papa had been the one to wake her this morning. So yes, she did
know why he "couldn't" do that. She respected him for it, but it wasn't what either of them wanted. What they wanted wasn't easy. It was complicated.
She sighed as Zori worked carefully through his thoughts, his hands coming to hers as he tried to explain why "this", as he put it, was so difficult
for him. She wished she could lie. She wished she could comfort him with the fact that this was hard for her too. That she was confused and conflicted
and unsure. But that wasn't true. She'd told him last night and she would probably have to tell him again; she was not conflicted about what they had
done. Actually, she felt like she had more clarity than she had in awhile...But she understood.
"I get it-," she smiled as Zori drew back into his own space, the distance between them feeling foreign now that she had been so close. "I really do
Zo and if you need time I can give you that." True. All true. She could give him all the time he needed. What she couldn't promise him was space. That
clarity she felt like she had now? It was because he had focused her. She'd felt it even before what they'd shared last night, but Zori had put her in
a place where she was free to prioritize her needs. He'd taught her how important it was to take care of herself and not focus so much on...well
literally everyone else. That's what she was doing now.
"...but I'm going to be honest with you Zori, because you deserve that; I like you. A lot-," God she wanted to touch him. She could feel the tingle in
her fingers already, phantom stroking his face as she told him her truth. She couldn't though. She continued, "Probably more than I should and
certainly more than I like my husband." So what, right? He probably guessed that in what they'd done last night...in most of their time together over
the past few months.
She felt like she sounded crazy! This is the exact opposite of how she'd been taught to talk to men. Too much honest in something new was never a good
idea. Where had that gotten her though? Pregnant in high school and stuck with Shemar for way too long. She was doing it all different now.
"I'm telling you that because, even if it's not with you, I'm ready to start doing the things that make me happy. To start spending time with the
people that make me feel like I deserve that happiness." Against her better judgement, she reached for him, her hand coming to cup his face as she
leaned in to him. Not too close...She just wanted to make her point.
"I've been selfish with you and for that I'm sorry. I can't tell you that'll stop though..."
I was a heavy heart to carry but, he never let me down.
When he held me in his arms my feet never touched the ground.
Everything that she was telling him at his kitchen table, in his home, after the night that they shouldn’t have had together...it wasn’t
new. She liked him. Zori knew that. After last night, he knew that more than he should’ve had the privilege. Even though he and Fumie had spent
a lot of time together lately, he still didn’t know everything about her. He’d tried to keep it that way to avoid…this.
But one thing he knew beyond a doubt? Fumie wasn’t the type of woman to, as his well-worded Momma use to say, “spread it wideâ€.
Zori still hated the way that phrase sounded as he’d pretty much always felt that a woman should have the only say-so over what happened to or
with her own body, but the saying rang true in this situation. Fumie was a woman who knew what she wanted and outside of her marriage to Shemar,
didn’t deal too long with shit she didn’t want. So Zori got that she liked him...loud and clear.
“Fumie…†Zori started, but she wasn’t going to let him interrupt her. She was going to speak her mind.
...even if it’s not with you, I’m ready to start doing the things that make me happy. Zori hesitated for a moment and then,
slowly shook his head, a soft smile on his lips at her words. How could he disagree with that? Simple answer, he couldn’t. From the moment he
truly knew who Shemar was and what her life had been like with him, this moment had been what he’d wanted for Fumie. What he’d wanted
for her had been something different in the beginning, stupidly believing her to be the bored housewife that she wasn’t. No, Zori saw it now.
It had always been so much deeper than that for Fumie. Deeper than he’d ever imagined. Her life...her entire life had been about what
everyone else needed. It was time for her to answer her own needs…
But did those needs really include him? That was the part Zori couldn’t wrap his head around. He got why her needs didn’t seem to
necessarily include Shemar anymore. Zori was sure that man (if you could call him that) had left more bruises on Fumie than a she would ever want to
total...or remember. Shemar wasn’t where she found her happiness. He probably hadn’t been for a long time. But...what about Zori? He
wasn’t blind to the fact that things were…changing with Fumie. She wasn’t the woman that Zori’d met in the line at
the post office what seemed like years ago...not months. She was so much stronger. So much more...independent. So much more intolerable of the shit
she didn’t need or want shitting up her life. She was happy...or at least she wanted to be now. And none of that belonged to him. None of that
was his as this was her journey. And he couldn’t deny the nagging voice in his head that kept on asking him why he was even here in the first
place.
His thoughts were interrupted by the warmth of her hand on his face. He leaned into it before he could catch himself, his own hand coming up to softly
grasp her wrist. They sat in silence for a moment as his fingers caressed her wrist, a little smile...one of the ones he liked more than the others on
her lips.
“Fumie…†He said her name again, sighing as their connected eyes said more than he could ever. There was so much truth in his grays
that melted into pools of warmth when they met her browns. Truth that he still couldn’t admit to himself…
“...you know what I told you about apologizing…†Smiling at her, lowering their hands to the table. Then, in the most perfect
synchronization, they began to eat in a comfortable, patient silence, stealing glances at each other between chews of salmon and sips of coffee.
“I’m never going to be okay with this. You know that right?†Zori asked, his fork still busy at his grits. Yeah, he said
“okayâ€. Not comfortable. Because everything about the moment with he and Fumie was every sense of the word. Their silence...Coltrane
playing so quietly in the background, he’d forgotten the music was there. Breakfast together, Papa sitting at her feet...on of his shirts
wrapped around her like the intimate embrace they’d shared the night before. Comfortable. But not “okayâ€. Because she was
still…his wife. Shemar’s...not Zori’s. And in no way did he think that anything they’d been through, both
separately and together, the night before would change that.
She still had “Kidd†behind her first name...
"The greatest wisdom is seeing through appearances."
![[*]](images/davis/default_icon.gif){kind=icon}
