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Devyn
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[*] posted on 23-7-2013 at 06:02 PM
Living Room






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[*] posted on 23-7-2013 at 07:21 PM


Koi wasn't one to rush beauty, but damn. He'd been sitting on that plush ass couch for nearly twenty minutes and Devyn had yet to emerge from her bedroom, dressed and ready to go. Not like he minded the wait. Normally, he would've been cool with waiting for her as he probably would've been in her room, rolling a fatty, watching her straighten her hair. That night was a game changer though as he was waiting, out in the living room, to take her on a...date. Yeah, he said it. DATE. He'd resigned to calling it one after he found himself on his damn knees in the hallway at KPA in front of at least six of his fellow students, begging his best friend to accompany him to his mother's gala. She'd said yes and there were...here now. Him, waiting for her after being invited in by her Aunt Athena (whom he'd FINALLY formerly met). And her, turning herself into actual GOLD, for as long as she was taking.

Letting out a quiet sigh, he nervously tapped St. Laurents against the corner of the coffee table, the sound and the movement giving him a little hint of peace considering he was sure he was sweating out the pits of the crazy expensive tuxedo shirt his mom had let him pair with his suit. Shit was banging if he had to say so himself. He had to commend his moms. She'd given him a little bit of swag that night. And after retying his bow tie for the fiftieth time, she'd let him take the chauffeured car to Devyn's and had promised that she'd make a good impression when they pulled up at the Astor. Not that he thought his mother wouldn't. Her life was about impressions, especially that night. That night was the pentacle of impression making as anyone with expendable cash was coming through to put in a tax deduction for the one his mother was selling. But he didn't mind watching his Moms work. At least he could see the hard work that she put into Kidd's Kids. At least he got to feel like there was a REAL reason why she spent so much time away from he and Eri. But the fun thing about tonight? He didn't have to worry about putting on facades or playing "Partridge Family". Devyn was the distraction...and a blessed one at that. She was going to make his night. He was sure of it.

Checking his watch again, he turned his head, leaning over the back of the couch as he tried to glance at Devyn's door. Still shut. And her and her Auntie still behind it. They were running late...he just...nerves. Lots of them. Damn. Nerves about the night. About the...date. About the suit. About the...wait, was her door opening?





it's gonna get difficult to stand,
but hold your balance...

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[*] posted on 23-7-2013 at 08:03 PM


FUCK! She couldn't get her hair to curl the way she wanted to and it seemed like no matter how many different shades she tried on her lipstick just didn't...work. Ughhh! She didn't want to do this. She couldn't! And about an hour ago she had decided not to. A decision Athena would not allow. Devyn had to give it to her her aunt was a crafty one. She'd tricked Devyn into getting ready really, asking her to just put on the dress and see how she felt...then of course she couldn't see the dress without the shoes and accessories. It's not a complete outfit, bug! Show me! By the time she was finished Devyn was dressed with nothing left to do but her hair and make-up. She was going and her aunt was making damn sure of it. So here she sat, shuffling through lipsticks while Athena worked some kind of black magic on her hair

"None of them work, Athena,-" she frowned for the hundredth time that night as nothing seemed right to her and for the hundredth time that night Athena supplied an uninterested 'relax' before putting down the flat iron and picking up one of the MAC tubes and giving it to her.

"Stop worrying, baby. You're beautiful...Like your momma, bug...-" Devyn stopped primping to really look at her aunt for the first time since she'd come in to help her get ready. She didn't know when but Athena had started to cry. No. NO. Devyn would not do this with her right now, her make-up had taken too long! She stood up, wrapping some of the only real family she had left in a hug. She held her until Athena pulled away, speaking, "You're going to have so much fun tonight, but not if you don't get out of this room." She smiled, leading Devyn to her door before opening it. Guess it was time...Dev exited her room just as unsure about this as when she'd told Koi that she would go.

But all of those nerves seemed to melt away when she saw him. He'd been watching the door and he stood as soon as she stepped out. He looked...damn. The most formal she'd ever seen Koi was his school uniform and he was cute in that. Koi in a suit was...damn. She hadn't noticed before, but she'd kinda stopped to stare, her bottom lip catching as she tried to hide the lust she was sure was apparent in her eyes. She moved the rest of the way into the living room, stopping in front of him before she spoke.

"Kid...hey."




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[*] posted on 23-7-2013 at 08:41 PM


Well damn. It was crazy how you could see someone everyday, all day...and still be completely blown away by them. Devyn looked...there weren't words. And as Koi sat there on that couch for a split second, clearly forgetting himself, he realized how true that sentiment was. He was frozen, leaned over the back of the couch, his mouth falling open in temporary shock. That thought about Devyn turning herself into actual gold? She succeeded. From that bomb ass dress to the way her hair tumbled over her shoulder...to those cherry red lips. She was pure, fucking gold. Clearing his throat, he seemed to melt as she stepped out of the door way, the short train of the masterpiece she was wearing trailing behind her. He stood, a slight smirk on his face, as she rounded the couch, her signature greeting on her smiling red lips.

"Sup, Hips..." He answered, just softly enough that her aunt, who was leaving her bedroom, couldn't hear. That moment was just for them. He could barely take his eyes from her, staring at her for an awkward second before he remembered himself and leaned forward, wrapping his arms around her waist in a comfortable hug. He didn't hold on for long as Athena was hovering in the room, smiling at her with pride that went way deeper than just that of an "aunt". He was sure his eyes were saying more than "homie", too. Because that night, Devyn got her wish. There was no way that he could call this an "outing" or "hanging out". Not with her looking like that...in that dress.

"You..." he paused, pulling out of their embrace. "...look beautiful." He couldn't help the way he looked at her in front of her aunt. He was having a hard time keeping his eyes off of her in the first place! But he tried his best to keep sex out of his eyes as...he would say it, it'd been awhile since he and Devyn had been together that way, the moment that neither of them wanted to recall being the last time. They'd kept it clean. A kiss here, a hug there. He gave her her space. But tonight...he wasn't sure if he could keep up that front. Beauty was quickly turning into lust as she stood before him, his brain trying way too hard to keep his thoughts from showing on his face in front of her family.

"Oh! Uh..." Good. He had something to distract him as he turned around and picked up the bouquet from the couch. They were a nice touch. And no matter how much the word still made his nerves jump, if it was his first REAL date, he was going to do it in style.

"These...are for you."





it's gonna get difficult to stand,
but hold your balance...

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[*] posted on 23-7-2013 at 09:40 PM


Sup, Hips...See. There was nothing for her to be nervous about. He was still Koi, her familiar nickname leaving his lips as they greeted one another. She could do this. She could go out with her bestie and not make it a thing...although she kind of already had made it a thing as she'd had him beg for her company. In her defense, she never meant for that to happen, but the point remained. The two of them could do this night together. She wanted to do this night with him. Looking at him, all perfect in a suit, looking at her with that...look...She was glad her aunt had talked her into it.

Devyn smiled as he leaned in for a hug, her arms easily falling around his neck. It was quick and she could guess why as she could feel Athena watching the two of them from the hallway. You look beautiful. Wow. Devyn bit at her lip nervously, her eyes falling from his as her cheeks reddened. She'd never gotten that from him. Eri'd told her he said she was pretty once and he'd said it sarcastically when he'd asked her to this thing, but she'd never heard him legit call her beautiful. Badd, sure. Sexy, yes. Never beautiful. Not until tonight...

"Thanks, Koi-," she looked back up at him, purposely putting the lust back in her stare as she complimented him back, "You're quite dapper yourself, boo." The two of them took a minute to kind of stare at one another as they melted into the world they always created for themselves when they were together. Her aunt wasn't there and it was just the two of them. Young and completely content in one another. And...giving gifts. Devyn came back to reality as Koi spoke, remembering...flowers. The kid brought her flowers. Her smile grew super wide as she took them from him, putting them to her nose and breathing in the scent.

"I love them, kid, thanks..." She was so stuck. The smile on her face a permanent fixture as she just kept looking at him. It was like she was frozen in place, but she was fine with it. She was with him and she was perfectly content with everything.

"I should take those-," it was her aunt's turn to snap her out of her thoughts. "And put them in water. And you two should get going."




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[*] posted on 24-7-2013 at 05:46 AM


Roses, awkward silences, lingering stares. Koi guessed that this was what first dates were supposed to feel like. And for a potential "first", he wasn't exactly hating the way it was starting off. Even though he was standing in front of her in a suit and she stood in front of him, dolled up to the nines, they were still them. Nothing changed the fact that they were still "Koi and Dev". And Koi kind of...got it. A date didn't alter who they were because they would always be who they were. Just like labels. Nothing described or altered who Devyn was to him because she was beyond words...and this "date" wouldn't change it. Matter of fact, Koi only saw the evening they were going to have making things between them better. They'd had enough hard times to bring them closer, make their friendship stronger. It was time for something good.

Koi's grin didn't falter through her compliments and her thanks when he handed her the flowers that his mother couldn't stop cheesing about when he'd bought them. It was kind of surreal how much he smiled because...she was happy. Even though he'd done this gala thing a thousand times, the night made him ten times more stoked because he could see the building, nervous excitement sparkling in Devyn's eyes. He could feel it in the way she looked at him over the roses he'd brought her, her smile growing as she took in the fragrance. This was kind of real for her. That in the time that they'd spent arguing and fussing about the unimportant shit, this was what really mattered. Her happiness and him causing it.

I should take those. Her aunt's voice made him turn around, a small smile on his face as she took the roses from Devyn's hands, telling them that they needed to be on their way, headed towards the gala. Koi checked his watch again, she was right.

"Yeah, we should get going." He agreed, his hand reaching out to Athena, shaking it. "It was nice meeting you..." He left the end of the sentence trailing. Mostly because he didn't know what else to say...and he didn't want to make any promises about Devyn's time of return either. He wasn't so sure, but he was thinking that tonight? They'd play that tiny detail by ear...





it's gonna get difficult to stand,
but hold your balance...

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[*] posted on 2-11-2019 at 01:27 PM


They'd finally made it!

High school was done, they'd walked the stage and now they were officially adults. In three short months Miyu would be off to Julliard, Dhonny was on his "eat, pray, love" tip and she and Koi would spend at least their first year together at KRU. Sure, one day he would have to transfer to a D1, but for now she was going to enjoy her time with him. She'd learned in the past weeks how precious time with him could be.

Since Koi had gotten out of the hospital Devyn had done her best to be "normal". She wanted him to be comfortable, but she really wanted answers. She had tried to bring up what happened a few times over the past few weeks. At first it was a simple "you ready?" and he would offer a meek "not yet" and she'd back off. After a while she tired to force him into it by asking about how rehab prep was going. He would always change the subject. Devyn had told him they didn't have to talk the first day she saw him in the hospital, but she was beginning to worry that they weren't going to talk at all before he left. Today certainly wouldn't be the day though because, not to be selfish but, Devyn was in her own zone about graduation. Mostly because she never thought she'd make it here.

After she left her father, Devyn was sure her time was limited. Her first few week in KR, she'd had nightmares about him just showing up killing her cousin and aunt and dragging her back to life with him. She didn't think she'd get the chance to make lifelong bonds with Miyu and Dhonny. She didn't think she'd have time to fall in love...but she did. They all made it through high school and today all Devyn wanted to talk about was that.

Her heart was light as Miyu finished the story about the time the four of them were sure they were going to be mauled by bear when they went on that cabin trip for spring break last year. It all seemed like so long ago now. They felt like totally different people now...and they kind of were. Devyn leaned closer to Koi on the couch and his arm instinctively went around her so that she could rest against his chest. He laughed as Dhonny added to Mi's story and Devyn couldn't fathom how good it felt to hear him laugh.

It'd been a long road, but they made it. Surrounded by friends and family, they were graduates.




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[*] posted on 2-11-2019 at 02:14 PM


Graduation had come and gone. Pictures were taken. The rest of his life was in progress. But nothing felt real. Not the congratulations through fake smiles. Not the searching looks from his loved ones. Not even sitting on the couch with his best friends and family at Devyn's graduation party, remembering the good times. Nothing felt like it was happening. And usually, when shit got like this...Koi would turn to the very things he couldn't have anymore. The secret stash of hydro in the dashboard of his car. The emergency pills under the front seat of his from that "behavioral specialist" that took his money faster than he could say "fake prescription, please". Those weren't where he found himself anymore. Not when they'd gotten him...he didn't want to think about that. Not today. Not when everyone was so happy about...everything. And the only thing he could find a little happiness in was the bulge in the front pocket of his jeans.

"Oh my god..." Miyu snorted, her hand clamping to her mouth as she tried to get out the rest of the story.

"...and then Koi decided we'd all turn the lights off in the cabin because bears don't see light. What the hell?" Everyone laughed around him, even Devyn's aunt, which was crazy because last time he checked, she still didn't like his ass. Koi only smirked, his smile missing his eyes as he remembered all the details from that night in the cabin. They were all high off of their asses. But Koi? He always "one up'ed" everyone, right? No, Koi had enough coke in his system to fucking dig a moat around the cabin, fill the bitch with water, and keep guard all night.

He cleared his throat a little, hoping that that would help clear the thoughts from his mind. But there was no clearing that memory out...only replacing it with something else. Something happier?

He kissed the top of Devyn's head, her body resting against his chest like it always use to. Like nothing had changed between them. Like every time she tried to find him these days, search in the dark to get to him, he waved her off with shit answers like "I'm fine" or "I'm good". Instead of the truth... Why couldn't he tell her the truth? Why did he feel like there was a wall up between them even in moments like this? Her against his chest. Him holding her. He didn't have an answer for any of it. But he hoped...no, he prayed...that what would come next would be the only answer he needed...





it's gonna get difficult to stand,
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[*] posted on 2-11-2019 at 03:03 PM


His kiss caused her to look at him and for a second their eyes met. Then he looked away, seemingly tuning back in to the story. That happened a lot these days. Koi, not being able to really look at her for too long. She wondered if he thought she couldn't see how empty he felt. She knew. Despite his every "I'm good" or "don't worry" she did. She worried because she could see him screaming for help, but not letting her in. Not letting anyone in. But she didn't want to get into that today. She just wanted to be here with him and their friends and their families and spend just a few hours pretending that they were normal, drama-free teenagers. She wanted to...but...

"Hey-," her hand turned his face back to her and she gave him a quick peck. "You okay, babe?" No. She already knew the answer. He wasn't okay, but he wasn't going to tell her that. Part of her hoped that it was harder for him to lie to her while she held eye contact with him. The other part of her remembered him lying to her that day on the bleachers. But this was intimate. It was the longest she had been able to study his face in a while. It was closer than she'd felt to him in a while...because lately they hadn't been close or intimate. Sure, there was a kiss her and there between them, but they weren't how they used to be.

She was sure his unsteadiness in holding her gaze was part of the reason they weren't having sex but, she knew the real reason wasn't all on him. There was just so much unsaid between them that Devyn couldn't even begin to think about letting him into her body before he let her into his head. It was...weird. To be so out of sync with the person that she felt like she'd known. She wanted to get back to that with him. She wanted them to be them again.

"We can go to my room if you want a breather." She was whispering then. She knew if they disappeared for too long Athena would come looking. Devyn had practically had to beg her to let Koi come to this little get together and she was sure Athena would be damned if Koi and her niece got time to make things right between them. Because Athena knew it too. Their relationship was strained and she liked reminding Devyn whenever she could that it "would be okay if you took a little break from him, Bug". She didn't want a break. What they were on felt like a break.

Devyn wanted the truth.




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[*] posted on 2-11-2019 at 04:09 PM


He was sweating. Under the collar of the button down that his mom had made him (and Zori) wear. He could feel the droplets of his nervousness gathering there. One brave droplet ventured down his back, as cold and uncomfortable as sitting on that couch and pretending that everything was normal. He would finally be able to stop pretending now, right? After this...everything would be the way it was with the only thing that mattered the most to him. He and Devyn. Because that was all he could think about as he stared at nothing, only listening enough to know if someone was talking to hi-...

You okay, babe? Koi rubbed his forehead for a moment, just long enough to paste the smile back onto his face that he'd been wearing since he arrived at Athena's place. He returned the kiss Devyn placed on his lips, his gaze shifting from hers to the floor. He couldn't take the weight of her gaze. He hadn't been able to since her first visit to the hospital after he...after he woke up. He didn't really know why, but every thing felt so much heavier when he looked at her. Like if he looked back into her eyes, into the worry on her face, he would break. He'd crumble into the pile of shit and rumble that he felt he was. And he couldn't do that. He didn't have time for that when he had to be...strong, he guessed? He didn't know...

"I'm good, love. Really..." He whispered back at her, turning down her offer to go to her room and catch his breath. That wasn't going to make it any better. Being alone with her use to be...it use to be better than everything. It was better than anything he could've put in his veins or up his nose. And he wanted that back. He wanted them back. He wanted everything they'd finally gotten together...back. He was going to get it back...starting now.

"Actually..." He said, his smile growing as he lifted her off his chest, moving her to face him on the couch.

"I've got something to say. Um..." He stood to his feet, drawing the eyes of a couple of people immediately. Miyu nudged Dhonny, nodding her head towards Koi. Other eyes met him where he stood, the room going silent.

"...uh, yeah. I just...wanted to say something...really quickly." He cleared his throat, his eyes looking down at Devyn who still sat on the couch, a look of total confusion on her face.

"I um...I know we're celebrating Dev...so, I wanted to take the time to tell her...thank you." He heard a throat clear nervously, bodies shifting as they sat and stood around he and Devyn.

"I don't say that to you nearly enough, I know. You've been amazing to me from the moment we met...and I don't think I've ever known anyone with a heart like yours." His hand went into his pocket, his fingers fumbling the round, velvet box clumsily.

"I love you...I know I don't always say it in the right words. I don't always do the right...things. But I know I love you. Not because of anything I deserve. But because you've given me love, patience...kindness...sh-stuff I've never deserved from you..." He swallowed hard, pulling the tiny box from his pocket as he lowered himself to one knee.

"...and I want to make that up to you for the rest of our lives, Dev. I-...I know this is weird timing..." He chuckled dryly, opening the box as he held the ring up to her.

"I-...will you? Marry me..."





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[*] posted on 3-11-2019 at 01:41 AM


I'm good, love. Really...

He was always good. These days he didn't have a care in the world it seemed. But if that was the case, why was he sweating? Why had he told the floor he was okay instead of her? He wasn't good and she didn't know why he wouldn't tell her that. Why he wouldn-

Koi was standing up. Having moved her off of him, he stood clearing his throat as everyone's eyes found him. Devyn's had never left and her worry had settled too. What was he doing? What announcement? She let him talk his words nervous and unsure. He wanted to thank her...okay...and I don't think I've ever known anyone with a heart like yours. Okay. This needed to end.

"Thank you, sugar. Come here-," her voice came softly as she reached for his hand, but he was in the zone, her words going unheard as he reached into his pocket for something. Her eyes moved nervously from his pocket to his eyes, which still hadn't looked directly at her through his...apology? Maybe that's what this was? But it certainly wasn't something they needed to talk about in front of all of these people.

"Koi, baby, what's going on? You're-," making her nervous. She was going to tell him he was making her nervous, but nervous wasn't what she felt when he finally took his hand out of his front pocket and knelt in front of her. Her eyes darted to Fumie, who looked just as shocked as Devyn was sure she did. They then found her aunt who was on the edge of having a mild stroke. And then they were back on Koi, who was actually looking at her and asking...Marry me...

Devyn blinked. She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came so she closed it. She blinked again and looked at that ring. A ring that would have been perfect if any of this was real. But it wasn't. She wasn't going to marry him. He didn't even want to marry her. This was Koi doing what Koi had been doing for weeks now. Avoiding her. He was avoiding the conversation he knew they needed to have. The apology he knew he needed to give. He was so desperate to escape doing the right thing that he was willing to do the wrong one. The worst thing he could possibly do because...

"Are you...are you serious?" The voice sounded like it was coming from someone else. Maybe it was? Anyone in that room could have asked that question and they would be totally in the right. But, it wasn't anyone. Devyn was standing now and she was talking, but she had no control of the words. They just...

"No. No I will not marry you, Koi. Get up!" She watched his face fall in disappointment and wondered if he really thought this was going to make things okay between them. If he thought this weird "apology-proposal" hybrid was what she wanted.

"What the actual F U C K would make you think that I would want to marry you Koi? That I would ever want to attach myself to a spoiled, self-centered asshole that can't do so much as hold a conversation about literally DESTROYING ME less than four weeks ago?!" She was raging and she couldn't stop. She was angry with him for making this fucking scene at her party. A thing she'd wanted to do for her friends to remember her by. For them to think back to good times and hopefully keep those memories a little closer to their hearts while they were apart. This was NOT supposed to be yet another dramatic meltdown between Koi and Dev. There were plenty of those already. "I...Why?" Her voice broke then as the tears started.

"Why do you keep doing this to me? Why won't you let me be happy for just one fucking second without making it about you? Without making sure everyone is paying attention to you, Koi." She should have stopped there...but she couldn't.

"You got the attention you wanted, kid. I spent a week and a half not sleeping and thinking only about you while we waited to see if you would live or die in that fucking hospital. But fuck me though, right? We have one party on one day to celebrate me, but it can’t go by without Koi Kidd being acknowledged, too. Fuck me right? I mean that's what this is. A big FUCK ME. Right? So let's talk about you." Shit...

"Do you know what your mom did the second night you spent in the hospital with the few minutes she could bear being away from you? She came to check on your baby sister, who I will get to in a second, because I told her Eri wouldn't eat. It had been 48 hours and she would not eat anything I put in front of her, Koi. And yes, I was being a little bit of a hypocrite because I hadn't eaten either, but she's a child, kid. She's a kid and I was the only person she would even look at outside of your mom while you were gone." She was off topic.

"Fumie, miracle worker that she is, got her to eat AND sleep and found me in the kitchen where she just cried. She wailed for half an hour before she was able to pull it together enough to word vomit at me how she'd failed you and your sister as a mom. The person who came in and in ten minutes did what I hadn't been able to do for two days felt like a failure because of you." She took a second then, her breath coming in huffs as if she'd been running her legs instead of her mouth this whole time. She felt someone pull at her arm from behind, but she wasn't done.

"How could you do this to us? Not "us", you and me. You obviously never gave a shit about me, but the people that care about you. Dhonny, Miyu, your mom, Eri...you let her find you lik-," DEVYN STOP. Fumie was between she and Koi now and her arms wrapped around Devyn in an embrace that felt like it would absorb every ounce of pain her son had caused in the last few weeks. They stayed that way for a moment. She could hear Fumie quietly apologizing to her again and again, as if it was supposed to soothe her, but it really only irritated her further. She didn't want an apology from Fumie. She wanted it from Koi.

She pulled away and Fumie let her. Zori was standing with Koi who, if possible, looked emptier than he had since getting out of the hospital...but she still wasn't done. Her voice came calmly as she did what she should have done a long time ago. Ended it.

"That you think I want to spend forever chained to silence and avoidance and pain...It shows me you know less about me than I even thought you did…get out."

She moved past him then, Athena meeting her and pulling her away from the party and into her room where she would be able to fall apart in private, like she should have been able to moments ago.




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