"Sadira..." Analu's whispering chants paused, his eyes opening slowly. He hadn't felt it, but the sun had gone down and the forest was dark around
him...save for a couple of battery powered lanterns and the dying embers of the fire Sadira'd lit earlier in the evening. It'd gotten cold. Colder
than he was dressed for. But then again, none of this was about his comfort, was it? The previous two days of...this hadn't been. Between the
lack of food and barely any sleep, everything was beginning to blur. He'd been dedicated to the sacred chants, his devotion barely wavering. He'd only
asked for water twice and sleep had taken him under on the second night. He was exhausted. And the appeal of asking Sadira for anything was
truly tiring as she was making it her personal mission to do as little as possible as his penance guide.
"Sadira!" He hissed her name again, his brow furrowing in frustration. He sighed, his body relaxing against his will as soon as he'd bristled as he
didn't even have enough energy to be annoyed with the constant sound of her crunching on chips that she shouldn't have had in the first
place. What part of "don't pack food or clothing" did she not understand? Would Analu fight her on it? No. He didn't have enough energy built up in
him to fight her...let alone anything in the Dark Forest that might have stumbled onto their camp. No, he was past shout or yelling. Fighting or
arguing. He just wanted to...to sleep.
No. No. He didn't have time for that either. This wasn't a vacation. This was penance. It was supposed to be uncomfortable. It was supposed
to cost him something. It had to cost him something...as he'd taken so much from the gods. From the tribe. Just to keep he, Leah, and the baby safe.
Just to keep their lives...and the lives of the tribe balanced.
"Can you...could you chew...a little quieter?" He asked through clenched teeth, knowing that if he didn't get back to chanting, he was going give in
to his exhaustion...finally sleep...
Day 3 and she was already sick of this shit. That the elders thought that she would sit out here with Analu without food, without water, without
comfort...ridiculous. Not that she couldn't do it. She lived her whole life in discomfort with her meth head mom and limited"inclusion" with
the tribe. A few days with Lu in the woods wasn't going to kill her. Especially not when she had snacks. Lu on the other hand? Lu had lived a life of
comfort. Not that he would ever admit it but, Analu was spoiled. And he was taking this whole thing so serious and so hard partly because he probably
actually felt genuine guilt about what he'd done (and by what he'd done, Sadira meant "getting caught"), but mostly because he'd never seen real
consequence for his actions before. Penance was a first for him in any form and Sadira could admit, this was extreme.
What had she been doing for the last few days? Certainly not what she was supposed to...Well, not to the max anyway. Analu was still alive and he was
still praying or whatever the day's task called for, but Sadira wasn't pressing him too hard about any of the shit the Elders had asked of him. She
was more of a spiritual hall monitor than a guide. To be honest, she didn't think this was necessary. Seven days of self-imposed torture because you
knocked up your girlfriend? The Elders would need a successor for Analu anyway wouldn't they? It was stupid to her, but then again, what wasn't about
this backwards ass tribal bullshit.
Can you...Whoops. Sadira sighed, sitting up from where she lounged in the fork of a nearby tree. She had climbed up here when Analu started
hours ago and had been working on her own craft, checking in on people she found interesting. Her mom was...doing her usual. Malo had been with the
Elders the two times she looked in on him so she'd minded her business there...She looked in on Maleah too. She was sure Lu would want a baby update
at some point. He had started to ask a few times since they'd gotten here, but decided against it...probably to feel like he was adding to his
punishment. Sadira always told him what Leah was up to anyway. That seemed to keep the arguing to a minimum...although they weren't doing much of that
these days either. Lu was pissed when they first got here after the shit Sadira started when she picked him up, but over the days as he got
beeper into his penance and farther away from food and rest, he got quieter. And Sadira wasn't trying to add to his misery. Not with that pitiful sad
little voice he was using when he told her how hungry the sound made him. Ew.
She tucked the chips she'd been snacking on absentmindedly as she jumped from vision to vision. Her eyes found him in the dimness of the lanterns
they'd been given for their stay. The fire she'd started with dwindling and it was getting much cooler than the day had been.
"Lu, why don't you take a break? You've been at this sh- stuff for hours and I know you're tired and it's fucking cold, bruh." Sadira made
the short drop to the ground from her perch and began gathering brush and stick to feed the fire. "Come lay down a minute. I think the Gods will
forgive you."
She sees you when she's sleeping.
Ha. See what I did there?
Lu...take a break? Analu smiled sourly at the suggestion...because at this point? That was what it was. A suggestion that he take the easy
route. That wasn't a choice for him. Because this wasn't simply punishment for him. This wasn't paying penance for his clumsiness with his girlfriend.
This was him proving that he could carry the load. That when there was trouble, he would face it without hesitation. And none of this was easy. Not
only had he felt a hunger he'd never experienced before, but he felt the coldness of Maleah not being with him. Not physically. It was obvious that
she couldn't be his guide. But, she was always with him. The Maleah that he left behind...that he left on the porch almost three days ago?
They were out of sync. She was furious with him. He knew it when he looked in her eyes and slammed the door on him. He'd been selfish with her,
whether he'd done it on purpose or not. And now, Analu didn't know if she would trust to him again.
"I-..." He hesitated for a second, his eyes closing against the second wave of dizziness to hit him in the past couple of minutes. He knew Sadira was
right. He wasn't ignorant. He wasn't going to last much longer without water. He could feel himself slowing down and it wasn't just from the lack of
food as the two swallows he'd had of water weren't going to hold him for four more days. He sighed at his weakness, knowing that penance wasn't
proving that he was Ku himself. But it was about proving himself...
"Fine." He answered quickly, standing shakily to his feet. He felt himself waver on the spot, falling to his left knee. He grunted from the effort it
took to even move, the exhaustion of praying, chanting, and fasting wearing on him faster now that he was attempting to get to his feet. After two
tries, he gave up, sitting back on his ass as he stared at Sadira. He huffed, rolling his eyes at his own weakness...refusing to ask for help from
someone who was already doing enough.
"I got it..." He grunted again, finally pulling himself to his feet, steadying himself. He walked slowly towards the fire, dropping back to his knees
at Sadira's bag, pulling out the water bottle she'd been letting him drink from. He ripped the top off the bottle, chugging water so fast he almost
choked on it. When the bottle was empty, he lowered it, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He sat quietly, watching Sadira stoke the embers
of the fire to get it going again.
"Th-thank you, Sadira." He said quietly, his voice so soft it was barely audible over the crackle of the fire. Clearing his throat, he couldn't help
but watch her over the fire. He'd been trying to figure her out since they'd set up camp. At first, he tried to figure out why she was even doing any
of this. What was in it for her? The outsider given a job that was more important than one would think she could handle. But as he watched her over
the fire, sitting across from him...
"Why are you still here?" He knew it came out harshly, but maybe the lack of food and sleep made it sound the "direct" that he'd meant it to be.
"I mean...why do you stay here? With rituals that you don't observe, people that have never treated you with kindness, a place in the tribe that gives
you position but never their respect...why?"
He was going to fight her on taking a break. She could hear it in the hesitation his voice carried as he started to tell her he couldn't. Of course he
could. A) This was fucking stupid and Sadira highly doubted the Gods were watching his every move and B) who was going to tell if he cut out a little
early on one day of penance? He'd been at this shit for literal days. He'd maybe had an hour of sleep collectively in the last 72 hours.
Sadira had learned in Bio that that shit could kill you. So yeah. He could take a break. As his guide she was dema - he didn't want to fight. Now she
knew he needed a break, his concession coming quickly as he tried to stand. He failed.
Analu dropped to his knee, his face pained. Sadira felt a little sorry for him. It was weird seeing him like this. Humbled, weak...a little pitiful.
It was the total opposite of his usual macho bravado and...it felt...real. Like he was human and not the Alpha he put on for the tribe. Now, don't get
it wrong, Sadira knew Lu's fuck up ass was human, but this was...just different she guessed.
"You good? You want help?" She had stopped fiddling with the fire, her attention falling to his multiple attempts to do something as simple as stand
up. He huffed, waiving her off and telling her he had it. Okay. Sadira returned to the fire, but her attention stayed on Analu, listening to him
shuffle across the forest floor and cover the short distance to her bag. Listening to him gulp down the contents of the bottle of water he'd been
sipping from before. She knew that wasn't enough. She was about to tell him to drink the other bottle in her bag, but he...what? Thank you?
Sadira chuckled. He'd never heard that from him...Honestly, she wasn't sure if anyone had ever thanked her for anything...not genuinely at least.
Sure, she'd heard the words, usually in annoyance after she'd finally agreed to shut the fuck up, but...Lu's thank you felt as real as he seemed right
now. However short lived. Why are you still here?
"There he is-," she laughed some, sitting on her butt next to a rekindled fire. "I thought you were going soft on me for a second." He clarified, his
question not necessarily about now, but the Shore in general. Sadira paused. She knew what she should say. That she had responsibilities here. And
that was true. Her mom needed her and despite what they pretended, the tribe couldn't replace her (because they would have by now). She had a purpose
here and, if she was going to be honest with him, Sadira would tell him she needed that. To be real, if she didn't have the responsibility as seer and
keeping her mom alive...she wouldn't really know what she was for...Was she tearing up? Ugh.
"I don't know-," she shrugged. "It's just not time to leave yet, I guess." That was true too. She didn't have a plan, yet. She had nowhere to go.
Sadira knew she was leaving this place as soon as she hit 18, but she didn't know...her grades were decent, maybe college. Somewhere far, far,
far away from the Shore...enough about her.
"What are you still doing here? This penance hardly seems proportionate to what you did."
She sees you when she's sleeping.
Ha. See what I did there?
Silence settled between them as Analu's question sat in the air. He was beginning to regret asking her. He didn't even know why he asked her in the
first place. It had bubbled up out of him. It was an uncomfortable question, which was completely obvious as he and Sadira sat with only the sounds of
the crackling fire between them. He'd been too blunt with her and she was shutting down on him. Weirdly enough, this was the first time he hadn't
actually meant to offend her. He just...he hadn't thought before he'd asked her something that was so personal. As he watched her over the
fire, he almost took his question back...as if that was something that he could actually do.
I don't know- Her voice broke the silence, almost as soft as the sounds of the popping wood burning in the fire between them. She talked
slowly, admitting that she knew her time on South Shore wasn't over. If she'd said that in front of any other Ikaika on the Shore, they might have
disagreed. The tolerance of her was limited and the idea that she belonged, despite her heritage was laughable. But whether he would admit it or not,
Analu knew that she was right...that her words were true. She had a true purpose. She would always have one. She was an Elder. She was Chosen, too.
Analu rarely acknowledged that...and he rarely gave her the respect she deserved...even if most times, she was being an insufferable fucking child.
He nodded at her reply, almost wanting to say the things he'd thought. But he let the feeling come and go as she started speaking again. Asking him
what he was still doing in the Dark Forest, paying a penance that was too steep for his...he and Leah's deeds. He hadn't second guessed this
punishment...as long as it was just his to take. As long as Leah and their baby were safe. But the penance wasn't why he was here, in the forest with
Sadira.
"Can I have some more water?" He asked, his mouth getting drier and drier as he sat, inhaling the dry smoke from the fire. He didn't wait for Sadira's
yes before he dug in her bag again, reaching for another bottle. He cracked the seal on it, drinking it more slowly than he had the first one.
"Did you know that Malo has kept peace on the Shore for almost ten years?" He murmured, taking another sip of water.
"Ten years without a single threat from the outside and unity between tribes on the inside. He's a good man. A good Alpha. The tribe trust him. The
Moku honor him." He looked away from Sadira, his gaze going to the ground.
"I'm Malo's successor, but I'm not his son. I'm the son of someone the tribe deemed 'unworthy'. Someone they called 'weak'. And that's how they see me
too, Sadira. I don't need your ability to see that..." He knew what their eyes spoke when they saw him. He was Chosen. He was the next Alpha. But one
weakness, one show of sickness...and he would be the same as his father. Rejected. Alone. Rotting in his home. A drunk. Hating his family, forsaken by
his tribe. His people.
"I can't fuck up. That's why I'm still here. I've got to be here..." His plastic bottle popped in his hand as he loosened his grip on it. He hadn't
realized his fists were clenched.
Y'know how in those movies where people get kidnapped and someone puts a bag over someone else's head and the kidnapee can't see where their going,
but they know it's not good? That was this conversation. Sadira didn't really know where Lu was going with it, but she knew it wouldn't turn out well
for her. She didn't like this Lu. The Lu that seemed genuinely curious about her. The Lu that wasn't trying to start a fight. The Lu that was looking
at her with a softness in his expression that had never been there before. It was weird. It was unpredictable. And she did not like it.
Lu nodded in quiet contemplation as she answered his question and deflected when he got it back. Can I have some more water? Sadira nodded to
her bag, but he was already moving on it, taking care of himself. She sat in silence, waiting for her answer and he sipped. When it came he spoke of
Malo. A good man, a good Alpha. True, but what did that have to do with Lu? A lot, apparently.
Sadira drew her knees into her chest as she listened to him talk about the pressure of always being watched. Of being careful not to show even an
ounce of weakness for fear he'd be rejected by the tribe...she wondered if he could hear himself. She wondered if he could hear himself confessing his
fears of rejection and neglect to Ikaika Public Enemy #1...Probably not. This Lu was open, but he was still just as dense.
"So if you didn't have to be, you wouldn't?" she asked her question without really thinking, but it was kind of what he'd said right? He was here
because he had to be. "Like, and please don't read too much into this, I can't see the past yet, but if we found out Malo had a secret son or
something and he could take your spot, would you take the out? Be with the pr-," Sadira stopped herself. "Mrs. and the baby and live a regular Moku
life?"
She sees you when she's sleeping.
Ha. See what I did there?
If she hadn't asked the question, Analu never would have imagined discussing something like this...with someone like her. And by "her", he meant
Sadira. Because the truth is? He'd never had this conversation with anyone. About the "what if". About what would happen if he didn't have this
enormous calling on his head. He hadn't even talked about it with Maleah...because the thought of "this" didn't exist. He was Chosen from his first
breath. He'd be bred for this. He'd been trained and prepared for the moment of Ascension. There was no other existence for him. There was no
alternate plan. And, gods willing, there wasn't some terrifying illness that was going to tear it all away from him either. But the question still had
him silently pondering it. Who would he be without the expectations and the responsibility?
"Uh..." Any answer that he could think of would be odd. Off. Maybe because to answer one way would've meant him answering the way he KNEW he
was supposed to answer and answering the way he wanted to answer. To think it through. To actually explore what her question meant.
"I don't know. I don't usually waste time thinking about it..." He shrugged, taking another sip of water. His gaze focused on the forest. The still
air around them. His mind wandering around Sadira's words. Who would he have been without...this? He wasn't much for imagination but...
"Maybe...working the cane fields? That's always been good money. And uh, maybe married? A little one or two running around?" Is that all he could come
up with? Almost the same life he was living now? He guessed the imagination that freedom to decide his own life was long gone considering he'd never
had the freedom to do it. But he guessed that was it, right? He never had the choice. His decision was the same life...but his call.
"Probably sounds completely stupid...and not happening. The gods chose. We're Chosen. Any existence outside of that is foolish to even
imagine...so..."
Of course he didn't think about not being "chosen". Sadira smiled to herself as he admitted he didn't know what it would mean if he wasn't the tribe's
next Alpha. That he'd never "wasted time" thinking about a different life. Why would he? Lu had lead a perfectly blessed little life with his calling,
and his perfect Moku girlfriend, and his easy choices. Would she pretend she didn't know about his home life? No. He had a father that hadn't gotten
the chance to live out his dream. He took that out on his family, Lu especially because he got to live it. But Lu had choices. Options. He moved out
as soon as he could to live with the princess. He got to be happy.
What did Sadira have here? An addict mother that couldn't have a decent vision to save her life. A "responsibility" to a tribe that treated her like
she didn't belong here. She didn't have the options Lu did. She couldn't leave and shack up with the love her her life. She didn't have love in her
life at all. Their status as future Elders was experienced very differently between the two of them. Analu saw it as freedom, honor, respect. Sadira,
only saw internment. She was alone and stuck in a prison life had sentenced her to. Analu didn't know what that was like. That's why he found it so
"foolish to even imagine".
"It's not that foolish-," she spoke quietly, clearing her throat of the emotion that had welled in it. "Maybe you've only been half listening, but I'm
not staying here, Analu. I'm leaving the Shore as soon as my next birthday rolls around." She was saying that. Eighteen was the magic number,
but...she had a lot of thinking to do before then if she wasn't planning to make a liar of herself.
"I may not know exactly what I'm doing yet, but I'm going to graduate and I'm going to get out...The Gods chose wrong..."
She sees you when she's sleeping.
Ha. See what I did there?
Of course Sadira wouldn't think that wanting another life outside of the one the Gods chose them for was foolish. Why would she place importance on
something she didn't even believe in...something she didn't even care about? She disregarded and disrespected the traditions of their people all the
time. Nothing was sacred to her. Analu wasn't stupid. Everyone knew why she stayed on the South Shore. An addicted mother...a father she didn't
know. Food and shelter that she'd have to do Gods knew what to find on her own. And then, there was his uncle. She stayed because of her needs.
Her wants. She stayed for herself. And that made her next words less surprising to Analu. If she was any other person, he would've admonished her. He
would've slipped into the voice he used when someone who knew better did or said something that went against the Moku way of life. A firm voice,
coated with as much wisdom as he could impart. But for Sadira's words?
"I can't say I'm surprised..." His shoulders gave a soft shrug as he took another swig from his water bottle, screwing the top back on...his eyes
peering at her over the fire.
"...because after everything that you've seen, you still don't really believe." He wasn't truly asking her if she believed...in their gods, in their
ways...in their people. He wasn't asking a question that he already knew the answer to. She didn't. Could he blame her for that? Deep down, he knew he
couldn't. Sadira had inherited a life that she didn't ask for. She'd gotten shit from their people from the moment she became her mother's daughter,
the "half-breed" with fiery, red hair and those strange, all seeing eyes. Analu knew more than anything, people hated the things they didn't
understand...and the things they feared. And Sadira was a combination of the two. He knew it because he'd hated her too. He'd hated Sadira.
She'd always been so...odd. Unruly. Disrespectful. She was completely unlike any other future elder he'd known. He didn't get her and he
hadn't believed he ever would. But now? As he watched her in their silence again, she looked...like someone else. Someone who'd done almost everything
he'd asked of her. Someone who, despite the fact that she would've rather been ANY where else, sat in front of him.
"You have a connection directly to the Gods. You hear their voice clearer than any of us and you doubt yourself? You still doubt them choosing you?"
He asked, shaking his head, a feeling washing over him that he wouldn't have believed he'd ever feel for Sadira. Disappointment...
"The Gods will never choose someone who thinks they deserve to be chosen, Sadira. And I've never seen them choose wrong." He winced as his father's
face flashed into his mind.
She knew what she'd said would be loaded...for him. She and Analu saw their positions on the Shore differently. Maybe it had something to do with the
level of reverence people gave them, but Sadira didn't feel the call of duty the way Analu did. Did she believe in the Gods? Obviously. That she knew
what any member of her tribe was doing at any given moment was proof enough that the Gods were real. That she had purpose and utility...What she
didn't believe in was the people. Her tormentors. The people that chose to ridicule a child that they simultaneously placed in a position of
prominence in their so called "faith".
She thought Lu got that as he told her he wasn't surprised. She thought he was finally admitting that he saw her shit and he understood why she might
not want to stick around for too long...she almost forgot how stupid and self-absorbed he was. Analu reminded her though as he finished his thought,
telling her she still didn't "really believe" and making it about the one thing she did. Ugh. He was exhausting. This penance was supposed to be his
tireless journey, but it was starting to feel like hers.
Sadira rolled her eyes as she listened to Analu...sound more like Malo than he ever had. She scoffed as he asked about her doubts. "Why wouldn't I
doubt myself, Analu? Everyone else does." She turned from him then, stretching her legs out as she laid flat on the ground. She grew more and more
tired of this conversation with each word. With each judgement he passed. He didn't get it and he never would.
The Gods will never choose someone who thinks they deserve to be chosen, Sadira. And I've never seen them choose wrong. She sat up then,
propping herself up on her forearms as her eyes bore into his. "Is that a joke?" she gave a short chuckle. He had to be kidding or the lack of food
was making him delusional.
"You've never seen them choose wrong? You've never once thought 'this girl can't possibly be an Elder'?" She gave a short pause, but it wasn't really
for him to respond. "Analu, you're not different from them. Your people. I've been shit on the bottom of your shoe just like I have theirs since I
crawled out of my junkie of a mother and none of you have ever had a problem letting me know it." He wasn't different and she didn't know who he was
trying to convince that he was...it certainly wasn't Sadira.
"All this extra time Malo is making you spend with me lately does not make that less clear to me. You sit over there and you judge me for my
'doubts'-," Sadira made the air quotes for effect, hopefully showing him how stupid he sounded. "But you don't believe in or respect my position
either. I'm the same half-breed, con-artist leeching off the tribe to you as I am to your people. You didn't even think I could see before I told you
about your baby. Get fucking real!"
She sees you when she's sleeping.
Ha. See what I did there?
He spoke like his uncle. And not in a good way. Not in the "gently chiding you like the child you've always been in my eyes" way that Malo
spoke to him. Always more like a father than an uncle. And considering that his father had never really been a father to him, Analu had always only
been slightly annoyed with Malo when he took that tone with him...said those words to him.
Unlike Malo's firm, but reassuring voice, Analu heard the condescending way that his own voice curled around his words, childishly mimicking the
things he'd been told when he questioned himself and the Gods. The words were the same. But the voice wasn't. It never was...especially when he spoke
to Sadira then. Mostly because he'd been...confused. He just...didn't get it. He didn't get how a person with a direct connection to the Gods could
still doubt them. Could doubt themselves? So, maybe Analu hadn't trusted any part of Sadira's claims to hear the gods speaking when she became a
little less than elder...and a little more than the trash everyone had called her since her birth. He was like most of the tribe. Looking at her as an
open mouth and an open hand. Looking at her like everything but the real thing that she'd proven herself to be. Without a second's hesitation, he'd
followed right along with everyone else. Talking down to her. Looking down at her. It wasn't any wonder why she rolled her eyes as she listened to
him.
Why wouldn't I doubt myself, Analu? Everyone else does...
The question spat itself out of her mouth, falling on top of everything he'd just said to her about her calling. Her purpose. It ran down the sides of
his stupid statement, his face falling with the realization of what she'd just said. What she continued to say, her chuckled expressing everything but
amusement with him. With his words. Because without a doubt, she wasn't fooled by him. She called him out...asking him if he'd ever thought that the
Gods had made a mistake when they'd chosen her. If he'd ever had a moment when he thought that she was a mistake. And he knew she wasn't waiting for
an answer, her short pause telling him that she knew the answer to that question. Of course he had. Sadira was a lot of things. Headstrong.
Annoying. But she wasn't stupid.
"Sadira. That was before..." he fell silent as she talked over him, telling him...no, reminding him of just how he saw her. How his people saw her.
Not their people. His. And she was right. They were his people. People like him had doubted her before they'd even given her a chance...had
judged her because of who her mother was. Con artist. Leech. Half-breed. Stranger. Mutt...
Her voice fell away as she lay on the ground, her body turned away from him. Their silence was overwhelmed by the sounds of the darkened forest around
them. And that quiet was heavier than any moment of quiet that had ever settled between them. The weight of her words pressing down on him heavier
than any of her words ever had before. Because everything she'd said...
"You're right." He muttered, still staring at her over the fire. He refused to let his eyes fall away from her in the shame that he felt creeping up
his neck, burning his face. He watched her. Really looked at her. Saw her without the protective cover of snark that she wore so well. Saw her without
the snippy replies, the annoying nicknames for Maleah, the disdain for their people and their ways. He saw her. Lying alone on the ground.
Holding herself.
"Sadira..." He said her name louder, knowing that even if she was listening, she wouldn't face him.
"...you're right." He rubbed his face roughly, silently wishing for the voice that would tell him that he wasn't wrong whenever he snapped at Sadira.
Whenever he scolded her behavior. It wasn't there. There wasn't anything inside of him that would take the feeling of heaviness on him away.
"And...I-" His words stopped short...because "I'm sorry" just seemed like a cop out. It reminded him of when his mother would find him sneaking haupia
pie when she told him, very firmly, to wait until after dinner.
"...we're idiots. You know that, right? Idiots who only know how to fear someone they don't understand...instead of trying to understand them. And
what does Malo say about 'idiots'...you know, besides calling me one on occasion." Analu waited for a beat...for an answer he knew wouldn't come.
Because he was sure Malo had never said something so crass to her. Not to the seer he'd always believed in...
"We don't know shit about shit..." His voice was barely audible as he drank the last of his water. He dropped the bottle to the side, a little
surprised at himself. A little uncomfortable about what he'd just said...and at the next words out of his mouth.
"Gonna take a piss..." He grumbled, barely pulling himself to his feet, his eyes still on a barely moving Sadira.
You're right. Gotdamn right she was - wait, what? She was right? Analu Ikika the Great was admitting that Sadira was right. That he and
his people were the absolute scum of the Earth and deserved to rot for their treatment of a child? Okay, no. He wasn't saying all that, but
this was definitely a moment of self awareness for him. Honestly, as self deprecating as he could be, Analu thought pretty highly of himself. It kind
of came with being told you're the most important member of your tribe from birth. She could understand why he was a self-indulged dickhead, but it
didn't mean Sadira was going to cut him any slack. At the same time, him finally admitting he could see where she was coming from was...big?
Sadira willed every muscle in her body not to turn back to him. She was still, suddenly aware of how cold her back was against the ground, letting the
sounds of the forest around them fill the void their voices left. What more was there to say anyway? She was right. All of the things he'd just tried
to convince her of; the things he'd condescended to her about...it was bullshit and he knew it. And Sadira felt...vindicated? She didn't know...She
had never been told she was right before. She'd been wrong since she started existing...
Lu called her name pausing, probably hoping she would look at him, but she couldn't. She felt...He said it again. You're right. And I- He
stopped and Sadira felt it then. The first tear hot on her face as it seeped out of the corner of her eye and into her hair. Analu was apologizing.
She knew he couldn't say it out loud. She wasn't surprised when he changed course and opted to tell her they were idiots, but Sadira didn't need to
see to know what Analu was going to say. To know how he felt. He was sorry.
She tried not to whimper, feeling the sound lodged in her throat. She didn't even know why she was crying. She was right. Lu agreed. His
people didn't know shit about shit. Especially not when it came to Sadira. When it came to treating her like...shit, like a person at all.
She was right and Lu agreed. It was validation she didn't know she'd...feel the way she was.
Luckily, she'd have a second to get herself together as Analu announced a bathroom break. She listened to his steps grow distant in the brush, making
sure he was gone before she sat up, busying herself with setting up her sleeping bag as she let herself cry.
She sees you when she's sleeping.
Ha. See what I did there?
![[*]](images/davis/default_icon.gif){kind=icon}
