Eri was completely cute! Devyn had always wanted a baby sister. Someone that would look up to her and ask her advice on things they weren’t sure
about...Instead she was stuck with a dickbag older brother, Kareem who only had time for her when he wasn’t kissing their father’s ass or finding
some to get into. And her dream would remain unfulfilled as her parents certifiably hated one another, even though neither of them would admit
it...why would they. Wasn’t it obvious enough?But that wasn’t on her mind now, watching Eri take her in, a curious smile on a face half hidden by
the curls on her head. She allowed the awkward pause that followed as Eri looked to her brother for something to say. Koi just kind of smiled. It
was...different, Koi smiling.
Sure, Devyn had made him laugh on many an occasion and he smiled at her plenty but, the way he was looking at Eri was...different. Special.
He absolutely adored her. Every piece of him loved the hell out of that kid and it was...Devyn’s smile grew a bit at the thought as Eri’s eyes
fell back on her a quiet thanks on her lips before she went to stand with her brother. Her cheeks were glowing as she wrapped an arm around his waist,
half hiding herself behind his tall frame, her eyes still peeking at Devyn. She was shy...that made her even cuter! Damn it! It was taking everything
in her not to completely embarrass herself and Eri by gushing over her. Devyn loved kids and even though Koi had warned her that Eri was a
little...different she could already tell that the two of them were going to get along just fine.
Koi interrupted her thoughts introducing his sister as he ran a hand over her curls. God, they were even cuter together! Eri extended her hand for
Devyn to take and she did so, bending giving it a small shake. “It’s very nice to meet you, Eri-,” and it was too true. Koi pushed her forward
as Devyn gave her her hand back. Finally she spoke.
He’d said a lot about her? Oh, really? Devyn’s smile became a smirk as her eyes fell on Koi, a shrug on his shoulders. Hm. She wondered what
he’d said. She’d have to ask him about it when they weren’t with Eri. “I promise you I’m a good person-,” she joked with a wink as her
eyes left Koi. Devyn giggled a little as Eri spoke again. He...said you were pretty. He was right. Oh. Well. That was...not an adjective that
sounded like Koi. She was dwelling. She shouldn’t have been dwelling but, she totally was. She knew Koi thought she was attractive so it really
shouldn’t have mattered much that his sister was repeating it...or maybe that was why it mattered.
Koi was telling his family about her. Obviously not all of it as his father made it pretty clear that he had no idea who she was to Koi befre this
morning but, she was a topic of conversation in the Kidd household. Hmm. “That’s sweet Eri, Thanks-,” She looked to Koi as a silence settled
once again. This one she wasn’t going to allow to linger.
“So what’s the plan kid?” she asked sweetly, her focus becoming Koi. “Or should I go ahead and ask the decision maker?"
I'm taking my time.
I'm doing it right.
Self-Love. Self-Care. Selfish.
Even though Eri's gaze was probably a lot more...piercing than the normal nine year old, Devyn just seemed to sort of...take it. That
impressed Koi, more than he was willing to say, as he watched the two girls shake hands, one a bit more awkwardly than the other. The slight
awkwardness didn't even phase Devyn as she spoke to Eri, her smile never leaving her full lips. And that made Koi smile in return. This was half the
reason that very few people he hung around got the chance to meet his genius baby sis'. People couldn't handle her. She was...a package full of the
most awesome shit he could imagine. "Sugar, spice and everything nice" didn't even begin to describe his little babe. Just because Koi saw that, it
didn't mean that everyone else saw her that way too. In the eyes of other people, her classmates, their family friends...probably even their own
parents, she was just...weird. Off the charts. The opposite of "normal". The opposite of "right". Nothing she said ever made sense as she thought a
lot faster than she could express herself. Her brain made logic out of stuff that Koi didn't even understand. The oddest things interested her and she
loved studying more than anything. And glitter, Disney channel, and Selena Gomez weren't the first thing on her mind when she woke up in the morning.
Even in all that...Devyn kept smiling. Not like how you smile a sideshow freaks, so unsure of how to react that the only thing left to do IS smile.
But a genuine smile. A real one. One that actually said something other than "fake as hell"...or worst. Fear.
Koi's said a lot about you... Hold up. The fuck? That little...that was the first thing she said to Devyn? That Koi actually had conversation
about Devyn with his family? "His family" meaning Eri as his Mom was "too busy" to even care what came out of his mouth in the first place. And his
dad? Yeah, if Koi gave him an inch and brought a girl home he cared about, his dad would fuck her the first chance he got. That had just been proven
minutes before, his father laying down his old ass mack on a girl that would've clearly gotten him behind bars. The point was, Eri had opened her big,
smart mouth and let it slip that Koi had spoken two words about Devyn...which he had. Two words. Okay, maybe...maybe a couple of sentences. That was
obvious though, right? How could he not say anything about a girl that was going to spend Christmas day with he and his sister? He had to give Eri the
head's up, of course. Yeah, he only talked about Devyn because of Eri's comfort. Yeah. Well...that's what he was going to tell himself until he
believed it. With that thought, he smiled at Devyn, shrugging as she looked at him, wanting to verify the words leaving Eri's lips. His smile didn't
stick for long, sliding off as he heard Eri's next words.
"C'mon babe..." he muttered at Eri, smirking at Devyn as her eyes returned to his. Eri was killing him. KILLING HIM. Now she was telling Devyn that he
thought she was pretty? That was a given, of course. From day one, even when he was coming down from a bad E roll, blasting her out about a fucking
seat and getting kicked in the nuts, he'd known how bad she was. He didn't hesitate to give her a look and remind himself, from time to time. Of
course she never saw him, but he didn't pause when he got a chance to check her out...make sure all of her curves still rode the same way. But to say
she was "pretty"? That meant something different. Even if he hadn't exactly said it. Eri had asked, he'd stayed quiet...which meant "yes". That was
enough for Eri and evidently, she thought it was enough for Devyn too as she told her, not taking a damn breath to even debate whether she'd let that
secret out or not. With a quiet laugh, Koi bit smiled and pulled Eri back by the fabric of her dress, his arms draping over her shoulders, pulling her
into him. Her skin of her cheek felt hot as it brushed Koi's arm. She was blushing again, probably at Devyn's appreciation.
"That's not up to me." He said, answering Devyn's question. "That's totally up to Eri as she planned the entire day..." Nudging a nodding Eri, he
smiled at Devyn again, his eyes roaming the length of her Eri broke into a list of the entirety of their day and what it would involve. In the middle
of "baking gingerbread cookies" and "opening gifts", Koi caught Devyn's eye, the words "You...look fucking hot." mouthed silently in her direction.
She wasn’t afraid of Eri. Why should she be? She was just a kid. One of the most adorable Devyn had every seen. Okay, maybe she was bias because she
wanted to like her for Koi but, honestly, Eri was too cute for words. Sure she was staring a little hard and maybe she was a little shy but, what kid
wasn’t a little curious around new people? She had every right to look, stare at Devyn if she wanted to. She was a guest in her home and whatever
made Eri comfortable, Devyn would have to deal with...or leave. And she wasn’t ready to leave yet. Sure, she had been, what with Koi’s dad
throwing her for a complete left but, now she was back in her element. Koi wasn’t mad at her and his kid sister had done nothing but smile since she
trotted down the stairs. This was going to be fine. Christmas with the Kidds was going to be absolutely perfect and she was ready to get started.
As was Eri it seemed. Koi answered her question, informing Devyn that his sister had planned an entire day of activities and they would be busy for
hours to come, or so Eri made it seem, running through a list of things beginning at board games and going into a Christmas themed movie marathon.
Spending the day here was no longer a question and her regrets about coming here were quickly dissipating. They were going to forget everything that
had happened before this moment and make the most out of a holiday that had meant little to everyone involved...hm. A Christmas worth remembering...It
sounded...nice.
As Eri ran through her list of activities for the day Devyn’s eyes caught Koi’s, his mouth silently voicing a compliment that...quite different
from him calling her pretty. Ha. She was pretty sure that hadn’t happened by the way. ‘Pretty’ said more about her person than her body when a
boy said it and she couldn’t see Koi telling his sister much of anything about her, let alone that she was ‘pretty’. Fucking hot? That she
believed, and not simply because she’d seen him say it. It was more Koi more...lust than the like that neither of them would acknowledge was
there...She nodded her thanks, winking, before her eyes came back to focus on Eri who was finishing her list.
“Well, sugar I guess we should get started-,” she said holding her hand out for Eri to take. “You wanna lead the way for me?”
I'm taking my time.
I'm doing it right.
Self-Love. Self-Care. Selfish.
The unnecessary fire in the "just for show", electric fireplace flickered light into the dimming living room. Either the sun had gone down crazy fast
that day or Koi had actually been having too much fun to notice the time passing. Eri had begged Koi to turn down the thermostat, just so it could
"feel" like winter. "Like winter in Hawaii". Direct quote. The evening had been full of things like that. Little things that had that day feeling more
like "Christmas" than Christmas ever had before. Not that spending December 25th with just Eri in the past hadn't been special. Every Christmas with
his little babe held a special place in his memory, every single one of them. But this year was...different. Maybe it was the billion paper snowflakes
that Eri had cut out put all around the house like "Elf" on crack. Or maybe, it was the smell of the real fir tree she'd picked out and worried the
shit out of their mother about hiring someone to put up. It looked like a Martha Stewart and Santa's Workshop love child. Or...it was the obvious
answer. Devyn. From the second she'd agreed to come over that day, to spend time with Koi and his sister, things had felt different before
the holiday had even started. Different like...something right had been thrown into the equation. Something was balancing out. Christmas wasn't a
holiday that Koi looked forward to. Not like he looked forward to any holiday. He was happier avoiding them and sleeping them away. Obliviously. The
only reason why he didn't avoid that day (even though his parents did) was because Eri deserved more than the memory of shouting, angry
voices, tears and plates flying across the kitchen as a synonym for "Merry Christmas". Even with all of the good memories that he and Eri had made
together, despite all of the good times, the one year that ruined everything for Koi haunted his holidays, hovering over Christmas like a bad, gray
ass storm cloud, heavy with the expectation of something gray and more like the expected.
That day was free of "dark". It had been kind of Christmas that Eri deserved and Koi knew that he had Devyn to thank. Inviting his chick homie had
been beyond a good idea as she'd taken on everything that his little sis had thrown at her. Baking, playing chess, watching "Frosty the Snowman" and
the "Return of Frosty" back to back. Yeah, Koi was definitely recognizing her gangster. She kept a straight face and actually seemed like she had been
enjoying herself. Keeping his kid sister company wasn't on the list of duties, he hoped she knew that. He hadn't invited her to babysit, but it seemed
like the she and his sister just couldn't stay away from each other. Devyn's smile hadn't faltered the entire day and just hearing the two laugh
together, hushed voices whispering to each other as he watched them cookie cut gingerbread men in the kitchen, standing back after he got tired of
being "shooed" from their side. It made him smile...and he couldn't help but find it a little hard to stop watching...
"Movie's over, babes." Koi said over his shoulder, his long legs propped up on the arm of the over-sized sofa, his black suit coat thrown over the
back of it. He smiled at the giggles streaming from Eri as she moved her rook on the wooden chessboard that sat between she and Devyn on the floor.
The movie hadn't mattered, the chess game that the girls had been playing since that morning had their attention and it looked like Eri was close
to...winning, he guessed. He couldn't even say that he knew what the fuck was going on on that chessboard. He was just glad Eri had someone that
actually knew what they were doing.
"Hey..." He spoke a little louder, leaning up from the sofa pillow where he was leaning. Hesitantly, their eyes met him, Devyn's looking to where he
sat first. With a small smirk, he watched her for a moment before he looked away and nodded to the flat screen. That was how the entire day had been
going. Lots of him sitting and watching and plenty of giggling and bonding on their part. Not a bad thing though. It was nice to see Eri open up to
someone as the girl had been yapping Devyn's ear off the moment the fun started.
"Are we doing...oh, let me correct myself. Am I doing another movie? You know...since I have to entertain myself and
shit..."Attempting to hide his grin, he slumped into the sofa, his arms crossing over his chest as he pouted playfully. With a giggle, his sister
walked over to him, wrapping her arms over his shoulders as she leaned against his back.
"You are...insufferable." She said, laughing as he curls fell to his shoulders. "And since you're feeling 'ignored', you big baby, you want to...open
gifts now? How about it, Devyn? I saw some from you on the table at the front door. Can we...open them now?"
Devyn’s brows furrowed more as she looked over the pieces on the chess board and tried to make a decision. She sucked at chess. She had been bad at
chess since her father tried teaching it to her and with him being too “busy” to keep up the lessons, she never really learned beyond the basics.
Eri had kicked her ass in at least three games that day but it didn’t matter. Devyn would play her cute butt in a hundred more if it made her happy.
Because she was. Eri hadn’t stopped smiling since taking Devyn’s hand and walking her completely through the list she’d gone down when Dev first
asked. They’d made gingerbread houses and the gingerbread families that supposedly lived in them all while Koi pretty much watched and cried for
attention. It was too cute! He would ruffle Eri’s hair or lean all over Devyn begging to be included. She’d never met this Koi. He was playful and
silly. Especially with Eri. Devyn never would have guessed Koi was good with kids. Not that he was a bad guy he...just didn’t fit the type, she
guessed. She had been wrong though. This was more of Koi than she’d ever seen. He was showing her something that made him a lot more human than he
had been...and she liked it.
She made a move finally, her last knight coming to block the queen as she tried to remember how all of the pieces in chess were supposed to move. Ha.
She was sure Eri thought she was the world’s biggest loser when it came to chess, and she wouldn’t have been wrong. Eri made her move almost
immediately, her rook coming to block the only move that wouldn’t get Devyn’s queen taken. Shit. Well, this game was as good as over. And just in
time it seemed. Koi was calling for their attention again. Her eyes looked to where he sat as he told them that the movie that had mostly been
watching them was over. She giggled as he pouted and Eri moved to comfort him. “Sounds like somebody’s feeling a little left out-,” she teased
as his sister hugged him, Koi’s face lighting up at the simple touch. Devyn remembered being on the other end of that. Kareem hadn’t always been
an ass. Just like her father, he’d become one over time. She remembered being as close to her brother as Eri and Koi were now...times changed...so
did people.
But today wasn’t about her or her family. It was about Eri and giving her a Christmas she’d worked really hard to make “feel” like
Christmas...right down to have the house air down to a cool 55 degrees. It may have been 80 outside but it sure as hell was winter in December in the
Kidd household. Devyn sat up, smiling as she watched Eri tease Koi before her eyes found Devyn again. Gifts. Right. She’d forgotten about them
completely but, boy was she glad she brought them. She hadn’t known if they were giving gifts but, she was glad she brought something just in case.
Although she still wasn’t sure if Eri would like what she’d gotten her.
“Sure we can, sugar. I’m on your time-,” she laughed as Eri bounced off toward the door before she could stand up completely. She stretched,
having been in that floor for who knew how long with Eri. Devyn’s eyes looked to Koi again as she approached the couch, “Somebody’s jealous-,”
she teased swatting at his feet so that she could sit at the other end of the couch. “You should be. I might steal her from you.”
She smiled as Eri returned boxes in hand. She gave them both to Devyn but she passed the bigger one back, “This one’s for you kid. I hope you like it.”
I'm taking my time.
I'm doing it right.
Self-Love. Self-Care. Selfish.
Koi's first move was jealously. Like, for real, green-eyed monster jealousy over how quickly and how close Devyn got in there. Two seconds in his
house, a couple of presents and a smile and Devyn had taken all the attention of his little babe from him. She was good. And she was real, which was a
lot more than he could have said about anyone else, outside of himself, when it came to Eri. A lot of people, her teachers, school officials, her own
classmates, even...they liked to fake shit with her, but behind it all, most of them were really just...scared. Scared of her intelligence, scared of
the face that she acted like a kid almost twice her age sometimes. And scared that she could see right through their bullshit. Even her own parents
faked it to make it with her. Their mother barely spent anytime with her, provided a closet full of Burberry and Dior, shit that didn't even fit Eri's
style and calling that her duty as a mother. Bullshit. That didn't do shit but try to fill the space that their mother's constant absence left. And
Shemar? There was no reason even letting himself think how his Pops treated Eri because all it would do was make Koi wish he'd snorted a Perc like he
wanted to after that fucking loser left the house that morning. But he willed himself to get over everything that transpired...for her. For Eri. And
it seemed like Devyn had done the same, her side barely deserted the entire day as she and Eri were joined at the hip. It was good for Eri, though.
Even though Koi loved her more than breathing, having a brother had to be tough on her, especially when all they had was each other. It was probably
pretty nice to have a female around her, doting on her the way Koi did, giving her the attention that he was the only one giving her. He couldn't lie,
it was...nice to see her smile at someone else the way she did at Koi. Especially someone like Devyn.
Feeling his sister's arms fall around his shoulders, he sat up, letting her nuzzle into his back, soaking up the love that he hadn't had all day
because of a certain someone, stealing all the spotlight and shit. Hearing Devyn's voice, he smiled and gave a sarcastic laugh, making a pointless
attempt to look around his sister and at Devyn, but Eri was hooked so tightly around his neck. But he could feel Devyn watching them together,
watching the dynamic that he was sure no one would've believed if they saw it. Not like he was some rough, kid hating jerk...but Koi was definitely
the "jerk" part of that description. He didn't take much off of anyone and his sneer and sarcasm was much more available than a smile, any day. He
hadn't been this...relaxed, laid back around Devyn...around anyone, honestly. Not even his boys. There was no reason to be. There was so much coming
in from all sides most of the time and the only thing that made it all blur out was medicinal elevation. But when he was with Eri, none of that shit
really mattered. She kept him high...
"Yeah, Devyn...can we open gifts?" he mocked Eri, she ignored him as Devyn's answer came. With a silly pout face, he kissed his sister on the cheek
before she let go, jetting towards the hallway to retrieve Devyn's gifts from the foyer. He looked over his shoulder, out of the side of his eye,
catching Devyn getting up from the floor, coming to the side of the couch where he lounged. Just like he'd been doing the entire day, he watched her.
Their eyes had met on occasion, saying words that they couldn't really speak. That had been the only conversation they'd had that day as Eri dominated
both of their time.
"Jealous? Of you? What?" Biting his lip, he pulled his wing tipped Oxfords out of the reach of her hands, letting his feet fall to the floor so that
she could sit next to him. Grabbing her wrist, he pulled her down beside him as she talked about Eri. She liked her, he knew it. He leaned back onto
the back of the couch, his body falling closer to hers. He smiled again, looking up at her as he slumped into the sofa. He wanted to keep up their
banter. There was something about hearing the sound of her voice...especially as he hadn't heard it directed at him the entire day. The chatter had
been between she and Eri, even during dinner, Koi sitting quietly, listening to the both of them go on about any and everything. He just liked the
sound of it. Them. Tinkling laughter, soft smiles, the excited rush of speech when the conversation got really good. Koi loved it.
Hearing the thud of Eri's boots against the hardwood, Koi sat up a bit, seeing her bring in two boxes instead of just one. He looked at Devyn again,
smiling. She'd actually brought something for his little sister...and for him. Handing the bigger one to Eri, Devyn held the smaller one by her side.
She wanted to wait. Good. So did he. Eri could keep the spotlight.
"What'd you get babe?" Koi asked as he leaned forward to get a better look. An excited "Oh wow!" sounded as Eri laughed again, jumping up from the
ripped paper from Devyn's gift, hugging Devyn around the neck. Koi leaned forward, grabbing the book from the floor. Encyclopedia of Serial
Killers? She remembered. For what seemed like the fucking fiftieth time that night, Koi looked at Devyn, his eyes lite up to the high heavens,
holding up that book. And she knew exactly what that meant as she peeked around Eri's curls. She fucking remembered. Koi had only mentioned
once how much his little sister liked unsolved crimes and serial killers. Eri was a lover of the some pretty dark shit. What could he
say? But the fact that Devyn remembered? That was...yeah. That was beyond cool.
"Nice Eri..." He said quietly, his eyes still on Devyn as his sister came to take the book from his hands, ignoring her other gifts as she settled on
the couch between Devyn and him.
Oh, she was only kidding. She didn’t actually think he was jealous of the bond Devyn was building with his sister. He knew his place couldn’t be
taken, poor Eri was just...taken. Devyn knew how hard it was being the little sister to an older brother. When mom wasn’t around, sometimes you just
wanted the company of another girl. Someone like you, willing to give you the time and attention no one else was. Eri had been missing that and Devyn
had gladly provided it for her. Koi had no reason to be jealous, Devyn was simply giving Eri something she’d been missing. A big sister. Ahh, but he
was jealous. Ha. She could tell he was because he was trying to play it off just as he had when she brought up Carter. Jealous? Of you? Yeah.
Of her. She giggled a little bit as he pulled at her wrist and she sat beside him, a threat to steal his sister away on her lips.
He leaned back, his body falling closer to hers as he looked up at her. There it was again...that look where his eyes smiled brighter than his lips
did and said something...strange. Strange for Koi anyway. If she hadn’t have known better, she might have thought Koi was...feeling her a little
more than he should have been. A little more than usual. It wasn’t the first time he’d looked at her like that today. He’d caught it during one
of she and Eri’s chess games, a couple times over dinner, and the few times she’d seen it in the kitchen he’d been touching her too. Nothing
overt, not in front of Eri but, he would lean on her while he pouted about something. His hand would find the small of her back when he was checking
in on them after being pushed out of the kitchen...If Devyn hadn’t known better she’d think he was...falling for her. But that couldn’t
be...Koi didn’t do feelings. They’d established that before...but that didn’t mean Devyn didn’t...and it didn’t stop the desire she was
feeling now to kiss him.
But Eri returned, saving her from herself as her attention was diverted. Gifts. Devyn watched, sweet smile returning to her face as Eri ripped away
the red and green paper around her gift. Her smile grew wide, a high pitched, ‘Oh wow’ leaving her lips before she stood and hugged Devyn, her
small arms coming to wrap around her neck as she hugged her back. “I take it you like it then-,” she laughed a little as her eyes looked around
Eri to her brother. There it was again...that look. This time, it was saying something else though and Devyn could tell, Koi was probably more
grateful than his sister...and not just for the gift. She winked at him over the mess of curls that separated them before Eri let her go, snatching
her book from Koi and squeezing between the two of them, her other gifts seemingly forgotten for now.
Devyn watched as she opened the book and like a true lover of literature, smelled the cover. Devyn couldn’t help the laugh that came from knowing
she was guilty of doing just that on more than one occasion herself. “I’m glad you like it, love-,” she said a hand resting on Eri’s back as
she basked in one of the few good things in life. A happy kid on Christmas.
I'm taking my time.
I'm doing it right.
Self-Love. Self-Care. Selfish.
Koi could see it in Eri's eyes sometimes. She wanted a sister. What little girl didn't? What little girl, with a parent shaped hole in her heart
didn't want a sister to lessen the blow of the hurt from the two people being absent who were supposed to love you the most? Koi did what he
could...when he could. He doted like a big brother should've and filled in the space that his mother and his Pops left. And he had to admit, he made a
pretty damn good Daddy substitute, especially when he knew that the real thing wouldn't have been good enough in the first place. But the space that
said "Reserved for Mom" in his little babe's heart? He was no where close to filling that in. How could he? He barely knew about being a serious male
figure in her life, so was it any surprise that he was no where near to touching the "female" side? Koi knew shit about females. When he was deep in
'em, he stayed the hell away from them. That was a good trade off as far as he was concerned. Nobody needed to ask if he knew what it
took to raise one. He was clueless about everything from nail polish to...whatever the hell else girls talked about. It was clear Eri needed someone
besides him. A sister. A friend. And Devyn was filling that space, quicker than he ever imagined that she would've. They just...clicked. Fell right
into each other like they'd known each other forever and that wasn't Eri at all. She was distant. Careful. She was...Koi. Just like him, actually. But
there was no surprise in that. They were two unwanteds from the same fucking litter....
Koi caught Devyn's wink, her smile glowing even as Eri seemed to be squeezing the air out of her. She...was winning. The entire day had been full of
her amazing "win". Making his dad look like the fucking idiot he was and playing his life all in the same breath. Making his kid sister feel like a
princess and being the best friend that she'd never had...even if it was just for the day. And making Koi smile more than he had in awhile. And he
couldn't stop smiling at her. He couldn't stop looking at her. That wasn't anything new, though as Devyn's appeal caught every eye, no matter where
she was. She was a stunner and no one had to look twice to figure that out. Double-takes were unnecessary when your eye caught a bad one like Dev. But
Koi's glances...more like "gazes"...they weren't about how bad she was or how her body looked or even...how good her clothes work on it. It was
about...shit...he didn't know. He didn't know why her laugh was like electricity in the air that night, making the little hairs on his arms rise,
making an amplified tingle in his ears erupt when she whispered something in her hushed conversations with Eri. And he didn't know why, every time she
met his stare, every time he leaned against her or touched her skin that night, his body went a couple of degrees warmer.
Eri's thin body settling between he and Devyn, shifting the cushions on the sofa, snapped him out of his thoughts, his eyes finally looking away from
Devyn. Dammit. He'd been staring at her, completely lost in his thoughts. Had she caught him staring? He hoped not. Because all that staring and those
gazes and that temperature rising and his stupid grins...they all said shit that he didn't want them to say. They spoke loud enough that he could hear
what they were trying to imply and that shit wasn't the case. No feelings. No emotions. That was how he worked. That was how Koi Kidd functioned.
There was a heart inside of his chest, but the ticking thing was as hard and cold as stone. It didn't beat for love and it wasn't starting anytime
soon, no matter how many smiles erupted on Eri's face that night...
Leaning towards his sister, he watched her flip the pages of her new book, giving her the chance to appreciate her present before he cleared his
throat, his sister putting down the book immediately. She sighed heavily as she looked up at him, her smile all knowing. "Okay, okay...the book's
down. Next present please." Laughing, Koi handed her the one from him and watched her unwrap it. It wasn't NEARLY as awesome as Devyn's gift, but it got him a pretty tight hug...and a kiss on the cheek. Eat your heart out, Dev.
The rest of the gifts that had Eri's name on them were quickly pushed aside ass soon as they were opened. A couple of expensive dresses and shoes and
an iPad 2 from their mom and then an ignorantly huge Barbie dream home from their equally as ignorant dad. Eri was the kind of little girl that never
HAD an interest in Barbies...unless they wanted to count that period she went through where she made dioramas of murder scenes with them. And for
once, Koi was pretty happy his sister wasn't a normal little nine year old because there was NOTHING in him that wanted to put that fucking house
together for her. His gifts went untouched. Like they always did...every Christmas. Koi didn't do "pity/guilt gifts" and he vowed silently to himself
that he'd hand all of them off to his boys later on in the week as he was sure they could find some use for them as Call of Duty and the new "Concord"
J's were in one or two of those boxes. He didn't need the gifts. His gift was sitting with a cup of hot cider, his sister underneath his arm, flipping
through her new encyclopedia of killers and his fingertips...inches away from grazing the skin on Devyn's uncovered shoulder...
"Koi?" His sister called his name after a couple of minutes of silence, bringing him out of the battle of nerves his fingers were playing with Devyn's
arm. One of the videos from Eri's gift playing while she read the book Devyn gifted her, silence breaking as she closed the book and spoke. "Are you
ever going to give Devyn the gift you got her?" Koi coughed, willing the cider that threatened to slip down the "wrong pipe" to keep from embarrassing
him any further.
"I got her gift out of your closet for you so you don't even have to go back upstairs!"
What was happening between them right now? She saw Koi catch her wink, the smile on his face making her unsure if Eri was the reason her breathing was
stalling. This wasn’t right. The things she was feeling, the way he was watching her, the way they were bonding...It wasn’t how it was supposed to
be. She and Koi spent plenty of time together since their friendship started, especially with the class they shared now but, Devyn had never felt
the...pull she was feeling with him now. Not to say she wasn’t attracted to Koi before today. She’d made it all to obvious she was into
him at his party and even though that ended horribly, feelings like that didn’t simply disappear but...that was just it. At his party Devyn had
lusted for him. Lust. Not really an emotion, just a need to be touched. Specifically by him but, really by anyone. She and Koi hadn’t felt for one
another that night but...this was getting to be more and more different by the minute.
She looked back to Koi as Eri withdrew from their hug and he was still looking at her, his eyes still dancing as he kind of...stared. She was about to
wave, tease him a bit and break the awkward tension that was building but, Eri slid between them once again and he snapped out of it himself. Things
were beginning to be too much. She’d thought about it before coming here. She knew if the day went well she and Koi would be closer than they were
when she arrived but, she hadn’t thought it’d be the kind of closeness his eyes were suggesting. It was her turn to stare, lost in a sea of
‘what if’s as scenarios of the night played in her mind.
If she were to bring it up, when Eri was gone of course, would he admit he was feeling her a little? And not the bitch ass admission he’d made when
they were at the amusement park, but something real. Something solid...or would he play her like she was imagining all the things she was seeing. But
she knew she wasn’t tripping...And what if he did admit it. What then? Would that mean they were just talking? More? Ugh! She didn’t know! She
didn’t know what was happening tonight but, she knew something was different and addressing it could change everything. It could--Oh.
Koi cleared his throat and Eri sighed closing Devyn’s gift. Ha. Again someone wasn’t getting the attention he wanted. She smirked a little at him
as Eri asked for her next gift, one she assumed was Koi’s. And her assumption had been right as it was rewarded with a hug...and a kiss.
Guess he’d one upped her. Devyn watched Eri open the rest of the gifts that awaited her under the tree. It was a series of really cute clothes and
shoes that came in colors a lot brighter than she would have guessed Eri was used to...but Devyn didn’t know. Maybe Eri wasn’t as dark as she came
off...Better Devyn be wrong than assuming her mother was completely wrong about her. Her dad however she was sure got things wrong. She couldn’t
imagine Eri playing with anyone’s dolls...
Once she was done, she went back to her books, flipping through the pages as Koi sipped some cider and Devyn played with the remote to the TV, finally
switching the input back to cable and flipping through the channels to find something Christmas-y. They were all snapped out of their own worlds when
Eri spoke. Koi got her something? Shit. Koi got her something...She wondered what it was, her mind shifting to a bunch of different things as
her eyes found his and a small smile formed. He didn’t have to do that. He had really done enough by inviting her here...No. No. This was not a good
thing. Because as much as she was dying to know what he’d gotten her, they COULD NOT exchange gifts. Not in front of Eri at least. Because what she
got him was definitely not kid friendly.
“Oh, Eri honey, Koi and I can wait-,” she said, quickly interjecting before Koi could answer her. “Today’s about you, love. Is there anything
else you want to do?” Anything that might get them off the subject of a gift exchange?
I'm taking my time.
I'm doing it right.
Self-Love. Self-Care. Selfish.
That little... Koi's eyes narrowed as he cleared his throat loudly, the cup of cider in his hand going to the side table next to the couch
where his traitorous sister was sitting next to him, her angelic eyes blinking at him like she hadn't just told Devyn that he had a present for her
and he'd had it long enough to hide the shit in his closet, wrapped up, a fucking bow and everything...just waiting for the moment when Koi could stop
with the pussy shit and could finally man up enough give it to her ...or at least work up enough courage to...what the fuck? What the fuck
was he thinking about? "Enough courage"? To do what? Give a gift to Devyn? This was Devyn. His "chick homie" Dev. The girl he smoked out with
and chilled with on the regular. The girl who had a permanent seat in the passenger side of his Impala. Even in the weeks that they'd been hanging
hard, Koi knew her well enough to know that she'd dig his gift. No worries...right? Wrong. There shouldn't have been worries or nervous feelings.
But...there kind of...were. Scouring that fucking mall, walking in stores that he knew she wouldn't even have anything to do with, with clothes that
weren't even her style...mostly because he was lost without a fucking clue. And it mattered. Too much. Too much for him to just be "confused" about
what to get for a female. Too much thought for someone who was just getting something for a friend.
"Eri-" His voice wore an obvious warning even though he smiled at his sister, placing his arm back around her shoulders as he leaned back onto the
sofa again. But before he could make up some way to secretly tell her to keep her prying little mouth closed and turn her down, Devyn did the honors,
telling her that it wasn't too important for them to open gifts, that they day was about Eri and they were just fine with doing what she
wanted...which was true. The day had been perfect. Dinner was...bomb. Ipo had put her damn foot in it when she'd prepared it the night before. The
baking that his girls did, the quiet of the evening...the smile on Eri's face. All of it had made up a good night, no lie. But...sometime between that
second and the moment when he and Eri said "goodbye" to Devyn when the evening was over, Koi liked the idea of giving her her gift. Of finally placing
the shit in her hands so that finally, all of the guessing and the uncertainty about what he'd gotten for her would be gone. And he could pretend like
the tightness in his throat and the fucking shift of his stomach had just been about the gift...and not about thoughts that lurked in his mind.
"But Devyn..." Eri's soft voice whined, her tiny mouth turning down at the corners. That face was definitely a "no" to Devyn's suggestion. But just in
case she didn't get it, Eri stood up and retrieved the last, unopened gift that Devyn...and the small box, wrapped with shiny, metalized pink wrapping
paper, silver ribbon hugging the sides of the small box, coming to a bow at the top. His gift for Devyn. How the hell had Eri found that gift anyway?
It didn't matter anymore as it had found Devyn's hand and her gift found his. Eri stepped back, her hands joining behind her back as she stared at
them with those almond-shaped eyes.
"I've got to...take my presents upstairs. You guys can start without me." She whispered, grabbing a couple of things before she walked quickly from
the room, leaving he and Devyn sitting on the sofa. The silence of the room kind of...fell on them again when Eri left. Biting his lip, he looked at
Devyn, meeting her eyes and chuckled a little.
"Damn. It's the first time we've been alone all evening, right?" Shuffling the small box that he held in his hands, he turned it over, busying his
hands as he stared down at it. "Ladies first..."
But Devyn...Devyn frowned as Eri did, her sweet face turning with disappointment as Devyn told her she and Koi could wait to open gifts. Aww,
poor kid. She was disappointed. She hadn’t meant to disappoint her but, she couldn’t let Koi open his gift in front of her. It wasn’t...kid
proof. She didn’t know if Eri knew her brother smoked or what and shattering her Mr. Perfect would probably ruin Christmas. And things were going
too well for her to let that happen...But it seemed Eri wasn’t taking no for an answer. She stood finding what she assumed was Koi’s gift for her.
Ohh...Devyn smiled at the small box as Eri placed it in her hands. It was so cute. And pink. And really cute. Damn him! Why was he doing this to her?!
With the way this day had gone the gift was only going to further confuse things...whatever it was. Why couldn’t he be like most guys and just got
her nothing?
Because he wasn’t most guys. He was Koi. Her first friend in Kapuhai Reef (despite their rocky start), her ace that she did pretty much everything
with, the guy she’d spent hours trying to find the perfect gift for...damn it! What was happening between them today? It was just a gift...she
didn’t even know what was in it...she wondered what it was...But her wondering was cut short as Eri’s voice cut through her thoughts. She was
going to put some of her things upstairs. That would mean she and Koi would be...alone...
She thought about offering to help her but, she knew that would make it obvious that she was trying to avoid having a moment with the guy that was
supposed to be just a friend. It would make things more awkward instead of less and she certainly didn’t want that. Instead, she just smiled as Eri
collected her things and quickly walked off, her fear of kissing Koi and complicating everything becoming a very real possibility now that there was
no one there stopping her.
Her eyes fell on his as he spoke, stating the obvious. She bit her lip, pulling it in as she looked away, nodding softly at his comment. What the hell
was wrong with her. This for Koi for fuck’s sake! She had to get her shit together. He spoke again, signaling she could open hers first. She
couldn’t pretend she wasn’t dying to know what he’d gotten her, so she didn’t argue, her fingers pulling at the small silver bow on top so
that she could open it. She giggled a little when she did, removing the top of her box to reveal a small pink lighter with her name engraved on the
side of it.
Koi was always making fun of her and her use of disposable Bic lighters. He didn’t care for them but Dev figured as long as they lit the blunt she
was cool. But this was...sweet. She smiled pulling it out of the box as she ran her thumb over her name, “It’s nice, kid. Thanks-,” she paused
awkwardly, her mind wandering to kissing him under the guise of a thank you but, she wouldn’t. Instead she pointed to the box in his hand.
“Your turn.”
I'm taking my time.
I'm doing it right.
Self-Love. Self-Care. Selfish.
If there was one thing that Koi never did, it was "awkward". The word wasn't in his vocabulary. He didn't know it, he wasn't friendly with it, he
didn't fuck...with awkward. Because awkward never fucked with him. It never hit him the way that it did most people, mostly because he didn't give
enough shits to add up to a care. And because...he didn't really think about what people thought. He was him. He was Koi, no questions or comments
about it. And anyone who had a problem with that knew what they could do with their opinionated tongue. But sitting there with Devyn, listening to his
sister's footsteps as she walked up the stairs and to her room. His voice, repeating the obvious, couldn't even shake up the feeling that fell over
him as she sat beside him. The feeling that the air couldn't get any more thicker than it was at that moment. The feeling that the sound in the room
couldn't get anymore nonexistent than it was...right then. His chest couldn't get anymore tighter and...her their eyes couldn't get anymore shiftier.
And there it was. Motherfucking awkwardness. Sneaking in like a fucking thief in the night. He could barely watch her as she untied the silver bow and
ripped the pink paper that covered the burgundy S.T. Dupont box, smiling at her giggle and looking away when he finally did catch her eye. Only when
she opened the box did he notice that he'd been holding his breath. The fuck was wrong with him?
It's nice, kid... Nodding at her comment, he watched her finger trace the front of the lighter, her name engraved there. Where was the smart
ass comeback? Where was the over-sexed response about her "paying him back" for that expensive ass lighter that he was so sure that she had to have?
And that shit was expensive. Like "sneak and use his Pop's black card" expensive. But it was worth the little smile on her face and the "thanks" that
left her lips...awkward pause and all. And it was worth not seeing her carry around those fucking BIC shits. Hey, if she was going to smoke, at least
she could've committed to it and had a lighter worth a damn. And that was the initial reason behind him buying that lighter. Initially... Not for this
fucking swell that was filling his chest, making his heart feel ten times bigger like the goddamn Grinch or some shit. It wasn't about that...it
hadn't started like that and he'd stay cool as fuck so it wouldn't end like that. She was his homie, that was all. And it was nice to see her smile.
That was all.
"No problem..." He said, his gaze on her falling a bit too long. Smirking he looked away again and pulled at the paper on his gift, her voice already
telling him that it was turn to open a gift. What it was, he really didn't know, but what he did know was that all of that tearing was just a
distraction. Something to take him away from looking her in the face, watching her glossed lips curl into an amused smile as she watched him. He
didn't to watch her lean closer into him, smell whatever sweet mix of herb and perfume that was coming off of her skin. Damn she smelled ridiculously
good. Biting at his lip, he narrowed his eyes, trying his damnedest to take his mind off of her and focus on the box in his lap. Finally, he got into
the box and grinned. She didn't...
"And this is why you didn't want me unwrapping this in front of Eri..." He said, pulling out the grinder that was hidden underneath the wrapping
tissue paper in the box. He chuckled, nodding as held it up, turning it between his fingers so that he could get a better look at it. It was a fly
gift, though! And it was kind of something he needed as Dr. Johnson had confiscated his last one. Derrick and his brilliant ass was stupid enough to
try to return it to Koi after keeping it for a MONTH...at school. What the fuck. It was common knowledge that Dr. Johnson could sniff out evil doings
faster than fucking Underdog.
"Epic gift, though. Especially since your aunt's boyfriend took my last one..." Looking up at her, he smiled and nudged her knee, his hand lingering
on her warm skin for longer than he intended it to. "Merry Christmas..." He said, his voice falling quiet as his hand left her knee and went to her
waist, pulling her towards him for the hug that slipped past his constraint.
She loved the lighter. Carter had bought her a PS3. He said it was so she could improve her CoD game but they both knew she needed no help there. Her
aunt had given her the Mercedes she’d been driving since she got here. It was hers full out now and she didn’t have to ask to use it...All of that was great but
somehow, they still didn’t compare to the tiny pink lighter she was turning over in her hand. She had been trying to deny it all day but she knew
exactly why she was so in love with this gift. It was from him. And she liked him...a lot more than she was supposed to. This gift only made denying
the truth harder; a truth she had known from the moment they shared that blunt in the plaza. Koi somehow always knew what she needed, what she liked.
He’d known her before they got to know one another and she’d been attracted to that from jump. Now...now she wasn’t sure what to do as she knew
she was permanently friend zoned. She was “the chick homie”...nothing more.
She wouldn’t dwell on it now. Koi still had to open his gift and she couldn’t wait to see if he liked it. She hadn’t really known what to get
him, she’d actually gone back and forth between stores looking at watches and wallets and cologne...none of it fit him. None of it was... Koi
enough. She wanted something he would actually use, something he would like. And as he pulled at the paper that covered his gift, her breath
stopped, bated for his reaction to what she hoped was something he liked. And it was. Her smile grew as his did, a grin coming to his face as he
spoke.
She bit her lip quickly as he pulled the grinder out of the box for inspection. She knew he’d gotten his confiscated thanks to his chatty and
obviously careless friend Derrick and she also knew he wasn’t the type to replace shit he’d fucked up. So Dev got him what he needed. And he liked
it. ‘Epic’ he’d called it. Good. She was glad he liked it and she was about to tell him just that before his hand came to her knee. At first it
was an innocent nudge, a sweet touch between friend to show that he liked the gift, he was amused...but his hand stayed, lingering against her skin
and causing her temperature to rise a few more degrees than her nervousness had previously caused.
“Merry-...” her voice started softly. Apparently too soft, but it didn’t matter as Koi pulled her in for a hug; her words stopped completely
then, lost in the closeness they were sharing...and how good he smelled...Shit. She allowed her eyes to close, feeling the moment rather than
taking it in as she finally replied to her well wish, “Merry Christmas, Koi.”
Damn right it was a ‘Merry Christmas’. The best she’d had to date...
I'm taking my time.
I'm doing it right.
Self-Love. Self-Care. Selfish.
Shit was surreal, really. And Koi didn't use words like "surreal" without a serious amount of herb in his system. But it was. Being that close to
Devyn and not wanting to pull away from her? Not even caring that a few seconds had gone by and they were still embracing, that hug that was headed
for awkward turning into something else as soon as they touched? Yeah, that was wild. Wild and completely unexpected as nothing was okay about
this. "This" being Devyn in his arms, hers wrapped around his shoulders, her lips close enough to his neck that he could feel the quickening
of her breath. Chest pressed against his so tight that he could feel all her curves and...yeah, this was wild...and not fucking okay. Not that Koi
hadn't had...thoughts...about Devyn like the ones he was having at that very moment. On the first night they'd really hung out, she'd ended up in his
lap with his mouth attached to her skin like some fucking horny ass leech. Of course she'd been on his mind after that, his thoughts going right into
her damn drawers when the moment was less than convenient. But it never went past just...thoughts. That just wasn't where they were. There was no
"fuck" in front of what they were and it seemed like both of them were past happy about that...or at least just dealin' with it. And it was the safest
bet. When you kept it at "homie level", nobody caught feelings, nobody wanted more...and nobody got their damn feelings hurt.
His hands moved from around her waist, turning from a grasp and into a soft push, their bodies separating, but their faces still close. Smiling
softly, his hand brushed against the skin of her cheek, a hint of his toothy smile showing through his lips. Staring at her for a second, it almost
seemed like something that Koi should've seen ages ago hit him like a fucking boulder. She was dumb pretty...like really...gorgeous. Usually,
it was about "that ass" or her tiny ass waist, but his eyes just, kind of...pulled to her face...and how every single feature on it made her as
beautiful as she looked at that moment. Why she wasted her time hanging around her homie instead of picking up on some of the play that he knew mad
dudes were throwing at her, confused him. She spent almost every day, rollin' around in his Impala, doing the stupidest shit. Smoking the day away,
talking about shit that didn't matter...sometimes she even wasted hours, just tutoring his dumb ass to get grades that he was sure his father had
already paid someone to give him. She wasted seconds, minutes...time with him when she should've been underneath somebody's arm, letting them spoil
the shit out of her. Even if she was his "chick homie" and he was her "boy", she deserved some play or something with someone, right? Something
besides him? She was too fine for that...
"That shit lasted longer than I meant it to..." He muttered, pulling completely away from her, grin still fastened to his lips. "Guess I'm just
really, really thankful. That really was a good gift, Dev." Yeah, that's what they'd go back to. Something really safe. Something that didn't involve
him, blurting out awkwardly how that hug made him almost a little confused. Confused because he knew what he should've done at the end of the evening.
He would tell her thanks, give her another platonic hug and watch her walk out the door...like her homie would do. But that wasn't what he wanted to
do. Because what he wanted to do was...well...he wanted to tell her not to leave. He wanted a day that was supposed to be simple and uncomplicated to
go on forever and he didn't want her to go. And he almost, physically shook his head at that thought because there was no way...NO WAY that that shit
would happen. No way he'd pussy out like that especially when he knew what something like that would lead to. Feelings, emotions,
relationship. And then at the end of all that...heartbreak. He'd break her damn heart. Mostly because that was what he was good at. Koi caught
the shit end of genetic hand me downs, when it came down to it. Sure, he got his Pops' good looks, court-swag that was endless and a tongue that could
talk the devil out of livin' in hell. But he would've traded that all...every single piece of it...for Eri's heart.
"I thought I was gonna have to drop a couple of dollars and buy my own because of Derrick's dumb...-what the hell?" Looking slightly over Devyn's
head, his eyes fastened to her as he spoke, he caught a glimpse of something that wasn't hanging there before...hovering over them like a fucking
ghost! Mistletoe...and Eri's hand connected to the top of the sprig.
She was completely out of it as she let Koi hold her there, his body pressed against hers in a way it wasn’t supposed to be…in a way she wasn’t
happy with because she knew that it wouldn’t lead to what she wanted. Or at least what she wanted for the night…She knew he didn’t do feelings
but she also knew he was willing to smash and at that very moment she was willing to let him. But something else that was more important than either
of those things was that she knew how sex would complicate what they already had. Koi was supposed to be her friend. The homie. Nothing more than just
the nigga she kicked it with occasionally...well more than occasionally, if she was going to be honest with herself. She wasn't going to deny enjoying
his company and she sure as hell couldn't play like she wasn't attracted to him but, that wasn't what they were...but they certainly weren't what they
were before she came over anymore. With the way the two of them were now, her body pressed to his as his hands held her waist...neither of them could
claim they were just friends...so what did that make them? What were people who fell between the title of friend and someone who was catching more
feelings than they should've?
Her thoughts on the matter stopped as he softly pushed her away, their embrace ending after what seemed like mere milliseconds. She wasn't done with
him but, he obviously wasn't done with her either. His face lingering close to hers as his hand brushed the skin of her cheek. She leaned into it
instinctively, knowing she shouldn't have been, knowing she was only encouraging him to confuse the shit out of her. He'd made it plain that night at
sulfide that he was not looking for a relationship. She got that. They were messy and painful and...She got it. So they were friends and that was
fine but, any romantic comedy with former "That 70's show" stars would tell you that friends got to be a lot harder when "benefits" got involved. And
that's what was happening here. Benefits were trying to get between the two of them and as much as she wanted to avoid it, she didn't. She couldn't.
That shit lasted longer than I meant it to... It lasted longer than she meant it to too, her cheeks growing a little warmer as she just kind
of studied his face; her eyes tracing his features, lingering on the smile that was, as usual, contagious but, somehow even more electrifying tonight.
She pulled her bottom lip in, partly in an attempt to quell a smile and partly to keep from pulling his lip into her mouth. She nodded a
little as he finished, telling her now much he liked the gift. "Well good, kid. I'm glad you like it." She stopped. Deciding to limit herself before
she said something she didn't want him to know. Like what? She wasn't sure...She never really found herself having to sensor her speech around Koi;
this was the first time she'd been even remotely uncomfortable around him and she didn't know how to handle it. Luckily, he kept talking, the
hopefully short conversation beginning as she waited for Eri to return. Not that she didn't want to talk to Koi, it was just...She didn't know what to
say to him! She didn't know how to feel about anything right now. She was feeling him, she was and she would admit it to herself, but keeping him
happy and keeping his friendship meant keeping her mouth closed about her feelings...so she wanted Eri. Eri would be the buffer Devyn needed until she
could get her head back on straight and stop being a little bitch about her relationship with her homie.
And she didn't have to wait long, Koi's speech stopping mid-sentence as he looked above her causing her in turn to look up to...misletoe. She
smiled, turning around to look at Eri with eyes as innocent as she probably was...well usually was when she wasn't making things harder for her big
brother with girls. Devyn giggled a little before she spoke, her mind trying to think of yet another way to let Eri down easy, this time about this
kiss that Koi was not getting, "Love, Koi and I aren't...-," Shit. Aren't what? Dating? Fucking? Together? They were none of the above but, how could
she explain it to Eri? Shit. She looked back at Koi, not sure at all how to finish up...
Koi could jump in anytime here...
I'm taking my time.
I'm doing it right.
Self-Love. Self-Care. Selfish.
Mistletoe? Really? Now that shit was a stretch, but not necessarily a huge stretch for his little babe. Eri could be completely determined for her
age, especially when there was something that she wanted and from the moment that she finally tortured Koi into submission (by naming every country in
the world, in alphabetical order no less), for a name, Koi knew she wanted Devyn. Eri wanted to know everything about her. What she wore.
What she talked about with him. Where she was from. What she was like. Eri wanted to know it all...everything about "the girl that had finally caught
her brother's heart"...direct quote. And even though Koi laughed his amusement when she'd said those words to him, he couldn't help but feel that even
if Devyn hadn't stolen his heart...she'd definitely stolen something because he couldn't get her off of his mind. And Eri saw that and ran with it as
far as her little legs would carry her, which just happened to be right to he and Devyn, sitting on that couch...a sprig of mistletoe in her meddling
hands. Outside of how much more awkward (there was that word again) it had made the moment between he and Devyn, it was actually
pretty...cute...watching his sister try and play matchmaker with her older brother and whom she clearly wanted, by any means necessary, to be her
older sister. A kiss? She wanted them to kiss? What did she think this was? The Little Mermaid or some shit? Koi had never known his sister
to be into that romantic shit, but there she stood, mistletoe in hand, a goofy little smile on her face...and unmistakable determination in her
eyes.
Koi's amused grin shook with the effort he was trying to put into a look of warning. He could barely do it though, his expression threatening to shift
at the sound of Devyn's giggle. Good, she was laughing. That was...promising. Laughing in lieu of his babe's awkward (although insanely cute) way of
saying that she liked Devyn enough to want Koi to like her too. Like her more, actually. Enough to sit underneath a clump of leaves and berries and
use that as an excuse to kiss her...again. Again. Bud, liquor and a fucking ridiculous hang over couldn't blank that memory out of his mind.
And Koi knew what it was like to not remember as he didn't know much of what happened after he'd let her leave his party that night. None of it was
memorable enough, actually. But the way Devyn felt, pressed against him, her thick lips pulling at his, her mouth tugging at the hesitation in him to
make him forget everything besides what lie between her thighs. He remembered the kiss and...to be honest, he wanted it again. He wanted to get lost
in Devyn again, with only the dull thud of music that didn't make sense and a party that blended into the haze of weed smoke as bread crumbs to remind
him of his way out...before shit got too serious. Too real. But that was the problem, right? Shit was going to get very real if he kissed her again.
He barely escaped the first time, the argument that they'd had over his stupid decision to skip out on getting familiar with her and instead, fuck
some broad whose face he still didn't remember nearly keeping them from being where they were right now. The fuck would he ruin this? The fuck would
he chance it again?
With a glance at Devyn, her words stopping as she failed to finish the sentence that had crossed both of their minds that night, he narrowed his eyes
and opened his mouth to speak, a dry laugh, the only thing that emerged. "Babe..." he began, Eri's stubborn, vigorous head shake returning an answer
to the statement that Koi hadn't even spoken. No way, Koi. You better kiss her. Yep, he heard that loud and clear in that round, cute and
very determined face. That very innocent face that didn't know what she was truly asking. Koi's eyebrows raised at her as that determination
turned into a plea. Was she SERIOUS? With a heavy sigh, Koi reached for Devyn's hands, pulling her closer to him as he caught her eye and smiled at
her, his lips softly meeting her cheek before he drew back and moved away from her.
"Oh, that was...hot..." He said, puckering his lips as he nodded sarcastically, a laugh breaking past his stupid expression and his eyes avoiding the
unamused one on Eri's face.
She was...SO CUTE. Devyn couldn’t be mad at Eri for what she was trying to make her brother do because it was entirely too adorable. She liked
Devyn, and she was trying to tell her brother that she approved. It was cute but, it wasn't the level Devyn and Koi were on yet. In fact, she wasn't
sure they would ever be on that level. If anyone knew Koi, it was Eri so she had to know that her brother wasn't into...what she was trying to push
the two of them into. Or maybe she just didn't know. She was struggling with the idea of being with Koi in a way that he said he wasn't interested in
but, the way he was acting before his sister came back was supplying mixed signals that were confusing the fuck out of her. What they were
was...complicated. They wanted one another...sexually anyway but, relationship wise? She wasn’t sure what he wanted ...but she knew a kiss wasn't
going to make anything clearer...it was only going to confuse things further. So she looked to Koi to give an answer to his sister. One that would
end in them popping in another movie until Eri fell asleep and Devyn could leave. Kissless.
Of course Koi could help but find her adorable either though, the smile on his face fighting with a sternness he was trying to convey. It wasn’t
working. But they couldn’t do this. Really, they couldn’t. She didn’t like to go there but, Devyn remembered their first kiss. In front of his
peoples, as he blew weed smoke into her mouth and shared the high...well at least until she gave him another. And then they danced, and kissed, and
touched...She remembered. Vividly, she remembered. Which was why the two of them couldn’t go there again. It was a place they were before
they were friends...before all of the physical could complicate what they were building on now. She didn’t want this with Koi...but she wanted this
with Koi...No, she didn’t...but she kind of did. Ugh! She wasn’t sure. She didn’t know what she wanted but, as she watched Koi and Eri her
thoughts turned.
Eri was just as cute with her brother as she was alone. The polite smile on Devyn’s face grew as she watched their silent conversation. He looked at
Eri sympathetically, his eyes trying to explain what he and Devyn’s words could not. But Eri wasn’t taking no for an answer, her curls shaking
from side to side as she voiced her distaste for his decision not to kiss Devyn. He didn’t have a choice, it seemed. And as her features faded from
determination to puppy-dog pleading, she could see Koi break. Anything for his little babe, huh? He sighed, reaching for Devyn’s hand as their eyes
met and he leaned in. His lips touched her cheek as a short giggle left her, her eyes watching Eri and hoping to see satisfaction there. She did not.
And as Koi pulled away, she knew he was avoiding seeing the disappointment Devyn did.
“Don’t patronize me Koi-,” she said quickly, her expression going stern again, “You have to do it right.” Devyn looked away from Eri then,
her eyes finding the floor extremely interesting all of a sudden. She couldn’t look at Eri and she certainly couldn’t look at Koi! Why was this so
awkward for her? For them? A simple kiss wasn’t that big of a deal was it? It wasn’t like Eri was asking them to procreate on the spot right? Just
a small kiss... It seemed like Eri wasn’t giving up and if Devyn couldn’t fight this Christmas kiss, guess she would just have to embrace it...
Looking back up, it was her turn to lean into Koi her lips pecking his quickly before he could protest. There. It was done...so why was she still so
close to him? Her lips still hovering above his before they touched again...and a third time...and a fourth before she stopped fighting what she
wanted.
I'm taking my time.
I'm doing it right.
Self-Love. Self-Care. Selfish.
Patronizing? Come on... Eri knew better. That was a pretty strong word for what Koi was doing. Appeasing? That was a better one. He was
appeasing his little babe...and at the same time, keeping things with Devyn...simple. Eri was...young, innocent. Hope still shone from behind those
almond shaped, brown eyes when she looked at life. Behind all that black, that "weird" obsession with the macabre, and those deep, emotionless stares,
she was still a little girl. A little girl that believed in uncomplicated, true love...and all the bull shit of it. Even after everything she'd seen,
their mother and father's love in shambles. And she still believed in the fucked up notion that was "happily ever after"? Koi wouldn't take that from
her. He couldn't. Her heart was a million shades lighter than his and he'd let her have that, let her see everything in the shade of pink she was
seeing it in now. But for him? Nothing could help him from seeing the nightmare that love could really inflict on someone stupid enough to let it. He
wouldn't let himself fall for that shit...not tonight. And he definitely wouldn't make Devyn fall prey to it, either. Not for a kiss. Not for a
stupid, mistletoe kiss that would start a series of events that neither of them would stop.
"Babe." Koi looked up at her, grabbing at her small wrist of the hand that held the mistletoe from where it hovered above their heads. Biting his lip,
he looked up at her, her little face, coated with the stubborn that her command to "do it right" relayed better than her words did. She even had her
hands on her barely existent hips, just the way their Moms did when she "meant business". The smile on Koi's face at that thought made him look back
at Devyn to keep from laughing. And, of course, she was avoiding Eri's eyes, too...and his. Probably couldn't look at him without...without wondering
what the hell she'd gotten herself into when she accepted an invitation to spend an evening with Koi and family...or at least Koi +1. Perfect evening
to a perfect day, right? Eri pulling her wrist from his grasp attracted his attention from his quiet thoughts, a joking pout rose to his face...just
to tease his sister a little bit more before he turned on the authoritative voice and made her cut all that lovey dovey shit out for the remainder of
the evening. Yeah, she'd be mad at him, but he could take it off of her. Besides, a bit more Unsolved Mysteries and another game of chess and
she'd be right as fuckin' rain. Her pout didn't even shake him and it shouldn't have shaken Devyn either, but he was pretty sure that she wasn't as
immune to the "cute pout" as Koi was. The last thing he wanted to do was have her feeling like she had to do something for his sister, just to keep
her happy.
Turning towards Devyn again, Koi caught her in his line of view...just in time to see her lean forward, her lips pressing against his so quickly that
he didn't even have time to close his eyes. Surprise took him over for a second, his lips curving into a small grin. And then...the grin...melted off
of his face. Not because he was...pissed about shit. But because...Devyn hadn't leaned back. Her mouth still hovered over his, hesitating with what
she'd just done. Wondering if it was okay...to do it again. Without waiting for the signal that it was, she lowered her lips to his again...and
again...and fucking yes. His brain stopped counting her kisses and his body stopped resisting the urge to return them. His hand came to rest
on her thigh and didn't hesitate to trail from her skin to the small of her waist, pulling her towards him, his lips taking her in like...he
missed them. Like they were a memory that he'd been pushing back behind the other recollections in his mind and her lips? They'd just thrust that
shit to the front. Nothing mattered but her kiss. Nothing mattered but the way her lips teased at his, pulled at his...covered his. Sliding some very
visible tongue into their kiss, he couldn't help but break the kiss with an unexpected laugh at the equally unexpected, but completely obvious "EW"
from Eri's mouth. Pulling away, he rubbed at his bottom lip, too sure that Devyn's gloss was still there from their kiss. A stupid attempt at playing
off a kiss like the one they'd just had. And even stupidier? Making the mistake that he probably shouldn't have as he met Devyn's gaze...and could
barely keep himself from giving her the "fuck" eye in front of his sister...
She hadn’t meant for this to happen. Not the way it was anyway. She just wanted to make the kid happy. A small kiss for her big brother was all she
was asking for and with the way Koi had been looking at her all night you would think that would be the natural progression of things. You would think
a kiss wouldn’t be completely out of the question...but it was. She and Koi were friends. That was the way he wanted things and she wasn’t going
to play herself pushing him for more. They were smoke buddies, study buddies, friends. Nothing more than that. There were no “benefits”
with their friendship and if he wasn’t trying to get into anything it needed to stay that way. She knew all of this, she knew they couldn’t do
what Eri was asking of them...So why had she kissed him? Why had she let herself have a piece of what she knew she’d want more of when she was
finished.
And she called it; her lips lingering above his after their quick kiss. It was fast. The kind of kiss a 4 year old would give a boy she liked. Short
and sweet. She felt her face go hot as she...stayed. She wasn’t thinking about anything, she wasn’t watching him, she was just...stuck. Stuck
between knowing what she should do and knowing what she wanted to do. She caved to what she wanted. Her lips finding his again and again
before they finally stayed, locked to his as if...as if this was natural. It felt right, kissing Koi the way she was. Better than right, as
his hand met the skin of her thigh, trailing up to her waist as he pulled her closer to him. Shit. She heard herself moan a little as his
tongue finally slipped into her mouth, sucking at it quickly before he pulled away from her. Oh FUCK! Eri...
Her eyes opened as a very justified “ew” fell from Eri’s lips. Oh, Devyn felt completely horrible! She shouldn’t have seen that. Koi’s
little cheek kiss might not have been what she wanted but, Devyn was sure she wasn’t ready for the kiss she and Koi had just shared. Her eyes looked
everywhere except at the two people she’d spent the day with. Again, things were awkward among the three of them. And again it was her fault. She
shouldn’t have kissed him...Now all she wanted to do was kiss him again. With that thought her eyes looked to Koi’s, meeting them briefly as he
gave her a look much, much different from the one he’d been giving her all day. He wanted a lot more than a kiss...And Eri was unknowingly
giving him the chance, quickly excusing herself; again under the guise of taking her things upstairs but, Devyn knew it was to avoid the awkward Devyn
and her stupid kiss had created. Ugh.
She smiled weakly as Eri left, not sure what to say outside of an apology that wouldn’t come. Great. Just great. So this would be the first and last
time she was invited over. She really had enjoyed the day, almost as much as that kiss...Once his baby sister was gone, her eyes found Koi once again,
words finally falling from her lips.
“Sorry.”
I'm taking my time.
I'm doing it right.
Self-Love. Self-Care. Selfish.
Ew. For real? Ew? Eri couldn't even let her mouth say "ew" when she'd pretty much asked for had just gone down in front of her eyes, putting
that mistletoe over Koi and Devyn's head and forcing a kiss on the both of them. Okay, maybe more than just a simple kiss. It'd started that way,
though. A simple peck...and then the look Devyn had given him, her lips lingering over his they way they had. Something that should've been easy,
quick, meaningless...turned into a whole lot of something. Exactly what he and Devyn had been avoiding the entire night, even when it was obvious that
something "not-so-homie" was building that night. With all the looks they were exchanging, their eyes saying words that their mouths would never say
to each other, in fear that anything would change what they had going. Actually, what Koi wanted them to have going. Friendship. Camaraderie.
None of that "let's make everything complicated" bullshit...like what had just gone down. Because shit was getting complicated, he could tell it in
the way she pulled away from him when Eri's voice broke between the moment their shared. He could tell it in the way she wouldn't even look at
them...and he could tell when their eyes finally connected and...
"I'm going to take the rest of my stuff upstairs and...find a way to scrub my eyeballs. Excuse me..." Jumping up and grabbing the closest thing to
her, Eri nearly ran from the room, nearly tripping over her feet to make a mad dash for her bedroom. Koi couldn't help but chuckle as he watched her
leave. Maybe she'd think twice about meddling in shit that had nothing to do with her in the first place. Granted it was cute as hell that his kid
sister had personally picked out what she believed would be his new girlfriends, only one problem. Koi didn't do girlfriends. It wasn't his little
babe's fault. She had no idea how much of an emotional fuck up her big bro was and as far as he was concerned, she would never know. The things that
happened in that house didn't need to effect her too.
Raising his eyebrows in a quiet response to what had just happened, Koi looked to Devyn, only to find her head almost lowered, her eyes barely looking
at him...and an apology. For what? Kissing him? Nearly giving his sister ANOTHER memory to repress? Eh, he didn't blame her for any of that. She was
only doing what her eyes had been wanting to do the entire day...what his had been wanting, too. The kiss, no matter how complicated it threatened to
make everything between them, was something that he missed. He missed touching her like that, missed feeling her skin underneath his hands. He didn't
know how much he missed it until she gave him the chance to feel her again. And even though everything in him was telling him he didn't need that
memory, that it was dangerous to even WANT a reminder of the night of his party, he couldn't deny it. He liked walks down memory lane...very much.
"I'm gonna pretend that I didn't just hear you apologize, Dev." He chuckled again, standing up as he pulled her up with him. "Eri'll be alright. But
if it makes you feel better, I'll go check on her..." Eri would be okay. She definitely bit off more than she could chew and that was lowkey her own
fault. She needed to keep her cute nose out of business that didn't carry her name. He could tell Devyn was concerned and crazy embarrassed...all for
nothing. She was way too stressed for his liking, but he knew something that could straighten her out. Okay, maybe he told Eri that there would be no
"drug activity" in the house that night, but considering what'd just gone down? Yeah, he was definitely going to be bending the rules...
"And you...can hit the stash in my car and get one started. We BOTH need a smoke after that shit..."
Her ‘ew’ was completely justified! With what Devyn and Koi had just done in front of her? She was surprised she hadn’t scratched her little eyes
out yet. Poor kid. She’d messed up, she knew it but, something was keeping her from feeling completely horrible about it. It wasn’t exactly what
Eri had asked for but, she had been the one to push them to kiss...Yes, good. Now she was blaming her issues on a nine year old. It just kept getting
better. Her mistake wasn’t Eri’s fault at all and she couldn’t pretend that her lapse in judgement was anything less than her responding to what
had been calling her all night. Hell, really what had been calling her since their time together at his party. Yeah, they hadn’t been anything more
than friends since his apology but, that didn’t keep her from thinking about what could be if the two of them...no. No, what had just happened
couldn’t happen again. She hadn’t been the one to stop it this time and she knew that if it happened again...they might finish.
She smiled weakly as Eri made a hasty exit, tripping over her tiny feet as Koi chuckled after her. She really was sorry but, something wouldn’t let
her say it to her...She could say it to Koi though. She had complicated everything and now, without even being in a relationship she and Koi “needed
to talk”. Ugh. She hated that kind of talking. She didn’t like “talks”. Talks usually meant somebody walked away angry and she didn’t want
that for them. If she had to be honest with herself, she wasn’t sure if she would know what to do on the daily without Koi...yeah, it was official,
she spent entirely too much time with him.
But that was neither here nor there right now. The time they spent together before this day had been fine; smoking, chilling, just shooting the
shit...but now? She wasn’t sure what they were going to become now...now that she had fucked everything. Well, not everything. Although
now, with everything as tense as it was, she was feeling a little like “everything” was finding a lot more than a snowball’s chance. She
wondered, as Koi completely rejected her apology, if he wasn’t thinking the same thing she was. If he wasn’t kind of feeling like he didn’t want
her weak ass apology, he just wanted her...Because that was kind of what she wanted...Him to want her...Shit. Shit, shit, shit. She knew this
would happen! She knew this shit wou--Her thoughts stopped as Koi spoke again, saying he would go check on her if it made her feel better. It kind of
would and it would give her a minute to get herself back together.
She nodded a little as he made his way slowly to the stairs, pointing toward his keys on the table near the front door. The stash. Yes. That
was exactly what the two of them needed right now and she didn’t mind rolling if she got to hit first. She stood, finding her shoes by the
chessboard as Koi disappeared upstairs. Giving her the chance to be alone with her thoughts.
A smoke would be good for them. They could talk while they split their J and maybe the conversation wouldn’t be so... “talk”-ish. Maybe it’d
flow a little better if neither of them were in the position to argue much. Because that was one thing they didn’t do high; argue. Everything was
everything when Mary was involved and maybe, hopefully, that wouldn’t change tonight...She had made it to the car by now, slipping the key into the
hole to unlock the passenger side door, and bending to get the stuff from the glove compartment. Part of her didn’t want to go back inside. Part of
her wanted to get in her car and text him to tell him something came up, anything came up. The other half of her, the half that was heading back
inside, knew how wrong she would be for that.
She sighed as she came back inside, closing the front door behind her. Koi was coming back down the stairs as she passed into the living room so she
stopped, her eyes, finding him as she spoke, “Outside?”
I'm taking my time.
I'm doing it right.
Self-Love. Self-Care. Selfish.
________________The Afternoon of Prom________________
Fumie smiled to herself as she descended the stairs, her happiness unshakable. Today was her baby's day! Prom night. Koi obviously hadn't been allowed
to go to prom after that unfortunate incident with the Davidson boy, but Fumie had pulled the necessary strings to get her baby what he wanted. What?
Koi had made a mistake! That didn't mean he never deserved to be happy again. And Devyn deserved it too. She had been here daily since Fumie
started allowing Koi visitors again (although she strongly suspected he was sneaking her in long before then). She'd been keeping him up on his
schoolwork, making sure he was comfortable, and even spending extra time with Eri. Of course, that's what she felt she was supposed to do as his
girlfriend. Yes, Fumie was allowed to call her that now.
She'd tested it the day he'd asked her about going to prom. Is this because your girlfriend wants to go? His simple answer had been "yeah"
and that was that. His baby had made things official with the girl he liked so much he'd fought for her. Of course Fumie was going to do everything
within her power to get them what they wanted. Blackmail had never been out of her realm of expertise and it came as easily to her as breathing.
Business was business. And Deputy Headmaster Johnson has been mixing that business with Devyn's aunt's pleasure...The headmistress' decision wasn't
set in stone after all it seemed.
Devyn had gotten Koi to graduation and Koi was taking Devyn to prom. Fumie was loving every minute of it. She couldn't wait to take pictures of them
in the foyer! To see them off. To watch this milestone in her baby's life! Her happiness was unshakeable and she couldn't wait for tonight.
She'd never gotten to go to her own prom, Shemar'd knocked her up with Koi by then. But Koi was giving her all the excitement she'd missed.
I was a heavy heart to carry but, he never let me down.
When he held me in his arms my feet never touched the ground.
The heavy front doors slammed behind Shemar as he snapped his shades off of his face, his temper flaring. It had NOT been a good day. Not only had it
taken over an hour to lodge the bitch from his hotel bed that he'd accidentally let sleep over, he'd gotten dropped by one of his sponsors! We're
looking to appeal to a younger crowd...which means a younger face selling our brand. A younger crowd? Really? What young asses actually gave two
shits about nasal strips?! He sighed heavily as he dropped his keys on the couch and plopped down next to them, rubbing his hand down his face. If
Shemar had to be real about it, shit had been fucked up for awhile. The nasal strip joint wasn't the first sponsor to drop him in the past months on
that "getting kind of old, aren't we Shemar?" trip. It was getting tiring, especially when Shemar knew his ass didn't look over twenty five! Or maybe
thirty-five lately as the whole damn situation just had him stressed out and...
And then shit like this stressed him out even more! "This" meaning his damn wife floating down the stairs on air like she was two seconds away from
singing to birds and talking to her pet mice. This shit! Everyone had been on a goddamn cloud and things seemed to be getting shittier for him! Koi
and his little nappy head were getting along lovely like, her ass sitting over his house more than he was in it even though Shemar definitely
remembered throwing her OUT of it. Then there was Fumie... That shit was another story. She'd been...completely not herself since their last fight.
She was...hell, he didn't know. But it creeped his shit all the way out. She was agreeable, cheery...happy? He'd even tried to start a couple
of fights in the past week and she'd just shrugged it off like... like she didn't give a fuck.
Hell, he didn't actually give two fucks either...but, normally? Fumie did. And now she just...didn't? Nah, fuck that. Whatever she was on, Shemar
needed the prescription for it too. But for now...
"Could you possibly walk any louder down the fucking stairs, Fumie?" He growled, his hand covering his face as he spoke. "You sound like a fucking
elephant stampede...damn..."
Shemar was home. Yes, she'd heard the door when the security system chimed to let her know it was open. She was hoping it was Koi and Eri
back with his tux, but hearing it slam closed told her something different. Shemar had been in a funk lately. He was his usual moody, disgusting,
childish self, but he had been losing endorsements left and right. It was understandable that he was hating life right now and much to his surprise,
Fumie had been nothing but supportive. Why? Because she didn't give a fuck. Nothing Shemar said or did phased her anymore. Nothing. She had
Zo now.
For the first time in her entire life, Fumie was truly happy. In the month since her fight with Shemar and she and Zori's...realization at
the gym, she had been with him every moment possible. He was caring and gentle and...everything she had been missing in her years of marriage. Zori
made her happy. And Shemar knew it...well not necessarily the fact that it was Zo making her happy. But she had been more than agreeable lately with
absolutely everything. Ridiculous complaints, stupid comments, attempts to get a rise out of her. None of that mattered. Like now...
Could you possibly walk any louder down the fucking stairs... Awww, somebody had a bad day. Good. Fuck him. Fumie smiled, stopping at the
foot of the stairs as she turned toward the couch. "I'm sorry, baby-" she bent over, her leg lifting so she could remover her heels. "You sound stressed..." Her voice was light, friendly. Something he'd probably grown used to with how often she used it with him these
days. Did she care that she was stressed? No. Hell no. But she was his wifey right? His misery was her pleasure--oops, pain. Whatever.
I was a heavy heart to carry but, he never let me down.
When he held me in his arms my feet never touched the ground.
And there it was. That syrupy sweet voice followed by unbothered concern for her "baby". Bullshit. He looked up at her through his parted fingers
before he dropped his hand to his lap, rolling his eyes at her. Well...almost rolling his eyes at her. They kind of got caught up on the outfit she
was wearing, which hugged the curves that she'd been showing off all month. Any other day, he would've asked her for some. Lately that body was right
and his dick was more than willing. But today? The thought of fucking his sexy ass wife was as unappealing as hearing someone tell him how fucking old
he looked. The thought of fucking anyone was unappealing, actually. The hell was wrong with him?
"I sound stressed because I AM stressed." He admitted, sucking his teeth. Hell yeah he sounded stressed! His ego, money, and his image were being
fucked with! And all she could say was how "stressed" he sounded? She deserved a damn Nobel Peace Prize. They gave those for making discoveries,
right? Good, because she just discovered the obvious like a real genius. Congratulations.
"Another sponsor. Another mother fucking sponsor down the damn drain." He muttered more to himself than to Fumie. Sighing again, he looked at her a
little better. That leather skirt and those heels were a bit much for her ass to be around the house today.
"Well you're overdressed." He snipped, frowning at her. "Where you headed?"
![[*]](images/davis/default_icon.gif){kind=icon}
