She couldn’t see. Everything was covered in a strange haze, like she was trapped in a cloud or a fog. She could see a fog, it was so hot...maybe if
she cooled things down a little she could see again. Dev reached for the center console, adjusting the A/C in her truck and checking to make sure the
vents were open before she refocused, rubbing her eyes and trying to just...see. This was dangerous. Driving and not being able to see was dangerous,
but she had to be somewhere else...anywhere else that wasn’t...well it was home now, wasn’t it. She could never go back to what she used to have.
There was no more “when my mom gets better”...because now she was dead. She was gone and this was it. She stayed with the only family
that would ever give a fuck about her because her mother was gone. It was getting harder and harder to see. Harder to breathe. It had been like this
since she left her aunt’s house and it wasn’t...it didn’t matter. She was here now.
She pulled into Koi’s driveway quickly turning off the car and stepping out, her feet carrying her to the front door faster than she realized. She
had to apologize. She’d fucked up and she needed to see him. She needed to apologize to Koi. She pushed the doorbell, the chime sounding inside the
house and she waited, rubbing at her eyes again hoping that they’d clear up. It wasn’t the heat that was making it hard to see. It was probably
the tears she was trying to ignore. She reached up to knock on the door, her knuckles meeting the hard cherry wood just once before the door was
opened. Oh...
“Eri, honey, hi-,” she tried to keep her voice steady, her lips unable to pull into even the smallest smile for her. “Is Koi here, love? I
really need to talk to him.”
I'm taking my time.
I'm doing it right.
Self-Love. Self-Care. Selfish.
With his ear buds in as usual, Koi was oblivious. He was oblivious to everything but the muted gunfire of Black Ops 2 on the flat panel screen mounted
on his wall. And lately, that was they way he liked shit. Especially during the quiet moments. During the hushed minutes that fell between school, the
ragers, the chemical elevation and sleep, he filled them with noise. There was no room for quiet now. No room for thinking. No room for being...alone.
The homies were around more than no one was and if they weren't there, Eri was. But it was never "just Koi". Even Eri's big ass, white dog was better
company than being to himself. Thoughts happened when he was by himself. Then they turned into blame...and then into regret. And all of that was over
now.
It'd been...what? Four months? Eight days? Twelve hours? Some seconds and a shitload of milliseconds...all of that time since the day he and Devyn
figured they were better out of each other's lives than in it. They'd seen each other in passing, stayed lab partners, kept their mutual friends. And
in all that time, they'd said less than twenty words to each other. Koi could even list them. They were like a broken record. A dry greeting, some
small talk and a goodbye. Lab was a little different. They talked about chemical equations and whatnot. Couple extra words here and there. But nothing
like what they were. What they use to be...
And there it was. What happened in the fucking quiet. Thoughts about Devyn and the things that didn't exist between them anymore. Koi didn't have the
time or the patience for shit like that. Hitting "start" and dropping his controller, he pulled the ear bud from his ear, Rihanna's voice dying out as
he dropped them to the floor where he sat, his hands searching for his phone. Wasn't Dhonny dropping by? Wasn't he supposed to have already been there
fucking ten minutes ago? Maybe he left a message or...
Oh my gosh! Hi! Thoughts stopping, he heard Eri's voice, her excitement on overdrive with a giddiness that he rarely ever heard from her
anymore. Who was she talking to? Was Dhonny at the crib? That was kind of weird though because...Eri was never that excited about Dhonny like that.
She saw him all the time. That voice? The voice she was using? That was reserved for someone she hadn't seen in a couple of full ones. Shitload of
moons. And...wait, who the fuck was in his house.
Standing to his socked feet, he walked quietly to his door, cracking it open, his head emerging the second the unnamed visitor's voice sounded. A female? Who the
fuck was this? Stepping out of his room, he heard his name as he came to stand at the side of the stair rail, his hands grasping the banister. It
didn't take him two seconds to figure out who the girl was. Perfect frame, ripped jean shorts, jet black hair, burgundy-colored lips drawn tight.
Devyn... Eri caught his eye first, a look of worry on her little face as she pointed to him at the top of the staircase. And when Devyn
looked up at him, he knew why...
She hadn’t expected Eri to answer the door. In all honesty, she hadn’t been prepared for anyone but Koi to greet her. That was who she’d come to
see, that was end-game for her. She was here to make things right between them. She had to tell him that things between them falling apart had been
her fault, that she was sorry. She needed him to know that things could go back to the way they were if he wanted, that she would be cool about
everything, that...life was too short...But first she had to talk to him. She hadn’t even thought about him not being here which was more likely
than not knowing him. She should have called. She should have asked if he even wanted to see her. It was rude, coming to people’s houses
unannounced...it was too late now though, wasn’t it?
Eri pointed to the banister, Devyn’s eyes following the direction of her finger until they landed on him. Koi.Good, he was here. And form
the looks of things he wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. He had time for this. Time for her. More time than they’d spent together in the
last...4 months? Had it been that long since they decided to stop speaking? Had it been that long since she’d had a real conversation with him? No.
It’d been longer, because before that they’d been fighting. Really fighting about...the last time she was in this house. Christmas, his backyard,
the fight on his birthday? It all seemed so much smaller than it had before.
“Koi, hey-,” her feet carried her into the house, moving beyond the foyer and to the foot of the stairs before stopping. “Listen, I don’t,
uh...I don’t want anything. I just really need to talk to you and it’s kind of important...but no pressure. I know I’m probably the last person
you want to see and-,” she paused her frantic rant about nothing, her mind drifting to exactly what he was seeing. The tears and the eye rubbing...she probably looked like the Hamburglar. A nervous scoff left her lips as a small, sad smirk pulled at
them, “I probably look like I escaped from somewhere, but I really need to talk to you. It’ll only take a second...”
Just a quick second and she would be out of his hair if he wanted.
I'm taking my time.
I'm doing it right.
Self-Love. Self-Care. Selfish.
What the- what was Devyn doing...here? In his house...standing at his front door? Koi's eyes narrowed in curiosity, watching her eyes focus
on him where he stood above her. Damn. She looked...bad. Her face was different. She didn't smile when she saw him, not like he wasn't
expecting her to. He hadn't seen a real smile from her since the Christmas they'd spent together with Eri and...shit. That'd been almost a year ago.
But this face was nothing like what he'd seen. Not in her anger, not in her disappointment in him, not in her disgust of him. This was different and
he couldn't help but hope, silently, that it didn't have shit to do with him. That he wasn't the reason why her eyes were puffy and red, dark circles
sitting underneath them like she hadn't seen sleep for a week. He'd been in that position way too much that year. He'd let her leave his life just to
avoid shit like this, their friendship disappearing like it had never existed in the first place. There was no way that he'd been able to touch her
life, dirty it up, without even being in it...right?
With narrowed, unsure eyes, he took her in as she moved to the foot of the steps, a greeting on her lips that sounded as unsteady and shaky as she
looked. This wasn't Devyn. Nothing about this...was...her. Nodding in response, Koi stayed quiet, his stare wavering from Devyn's weird
behavior...and Eri. The look on his little babe's face had him worried. While Koi was looking at his sister, his sister hadn't stopped looking at
Devyn, fear in her face. Not fear of Devyn, no. Fear for her. And as his eyes shifted back, he knew he wore the same look. He listened to her, no
words coming from him. And she sounded...lost...confused...distracted. And the things she was saying. She wanted to talk to him? Why? Everything had
been said four months ago. They were...done with each other. And...that was it. Right? So what else was there to say?
There was a quick pause, Devyn's words faltering as a scoff left her lips. Koi looked at Eri, nodding towards the living room, a signal that said she
needed to go somewhere unseen and unheard. But the only thing he got in return was a frown. A refusal. Koi's lips thinned at her stubbornness. A year.
An entire year of not seeing Devyn and Eri still cared about her so much that she didn't want to leave her side. Shaking his head, he refocused on the
dilemma at hand. Devyn wanted to talk...and nothing inside of Koi wanted to deny her that.
"Devyn." He spoke, interrupting her plea for a moment of his time. She didn't have to ask him twice...not her. Never her. "It's okay...come on." And
just like that, he let her back in. There wasn't a closed door on her. There never was. The second she showed up at his door and he saw her there,
eyes red and frazzled, he knew he'd let her in. No matter what. No matter if she argued with him until three o'clock the next morning. Not even if she
told him news that he didn't want to hear...about someone else wasting her time. Someone else breaking her heart. He didn't care what her next words
were. Because for the first time in a long time, he was...happy. It was twisted as fuck, but he was happy to see her. To know that out of everyone she
could've gone to, she came to him. She was talking to HIM.
"It's alright, babe." He whispered as she made her way to the top of the stairs, opening the door to his room and closing it behind them.
He was probably so confused. What could she ever be doing here of all places? Hadn’t they said everything they needed to in that empty classroom?
No. She’d held back then. She hadn’t said half of the things she’d been thinking that day because she didn’t see the need. Not after knowing
how he felt. And he couldn’t help that. Koi couldn’t help the way he felt about Devyn just as she couldn’t help feeling the way she did about
him. She’d likded him then. Still did, her stomach doing a distant, but familiar somersault as her name left his lips. Only this time it didn’t
sound like Koi. Not the Koi she knew. His voice was strained, almost pleading...or was that pity? Probably a little of both. She knew she
looked and sounded like a crazy person, but her thoughts...she couldn’t explain it. Everything was all smushed together in her mind and it seemed
like it was all coming out at once. She didn’t really know what she was saying until it was said and then...oh no. His sister.
She was probably scaring the shit out of poor Eri, she hadn’t looked away from her since her whole crazy rant started and she hadn’t even properly
explained what was going on...She thought about apologizing and trying to convince her that everything was fine, but Koi spoke first, an agreement to
talk to her leaving his lips as he motioned for her to come upstairs. Good. She’d meant what she said. It was only going to take a second to tell
him what she had to. Just a quick minute and she would stop terrorizing him and his baby sister. Giving Eri a weak smile, a silent apology, she
ascended the stairs, stopping in front of Koi. It’s alright, babe. She wished it was...She didn’t hesitate to explain herself once she
heard the soft click of his door meeting the frame. She didn’t bother to sit, her body shaking as if she was at the peak of a caffeine rush as she
stood awkwardly in the middle of his room. She faced him.
“Can you make sure, Eri knows I’m sorry about this? I didn’t mean to scare her or anything I just really needed to see you and I hadn’t even
thought about her being here and I probably should’ve called or something, I know. I’m sorry about that too-,” she stopped shaking her head a
little as she closed her eyes and tried to focus. And Jesus she still couldn’t see! “I um...I came here to, uh-shit,” she took
another pause, her fingers again swiping at her eyes trying to clear her vision. “I want to apologize to you, kid.” There that was the start. She
wanted to say sorry for fucking them up. He’d only been able to deal with the shit he knew and as far as he had known she was cool with their
friendship. She should have told him she wasn’t. But she didn’t...and she wasn’t going to now, because she was...cool with their friendship that
was.
“I fucked us up, kid. I let a stupid nickname that you hadn’t even thought twice about fuck us up and I’m sorry. It was stupid and I was stupid
and I want everything to be okay with us again Koi I miss you kid shooting the shit the parties getting high and talking about nothing for 3 hours? I
don’t do that shit with anyone but you and I miss it I miss you I miss us and I don’t mean us how you think I just...I just want to be
your chick homie again kid...We can go back can’t we...”
Did he even hear her? She was talking so fast even she wasn’t sure what she’d asked but she was hoping she’d gotten the gist of it out. He just
had to get her point. He had to say things were okay. And not the ‘okay’ she’d left things at. She wanted the ‘okay’ they had been before
Christmas. He wanted that too right?
I'm taking my time.
I'm doing it right.
Self-Love. Self-Care. Selfish.
Lingering at the door for a moment, Koi had to fucking...collect himself. Get his head...around what had just transpired in close to fifteen minutes.
Devyn, the girl that he hadn't been on good terms with since January, had shown up at his door looking like she'd been to hell and back...and he still
didn't know why. And even though he had her in his room, even though she was in his face and closer than she'd been in months, he still didn't feel
settled. And for someone like Koi, not much got him unsteady. Devyn was unhinged. She wasn't herself. And as he turned around and watched her, she
only made him more nervous for her. Her body shook as she stood there in the middle of his room, her body looking like it was too damn wound to even
find a seat and take it if she wanted to. Her eyes were dazed, unfocused. Was- was she high on something? Was that what this was? She fucked up and
took something that had her blitzed beyond belief? As irrational as she was and jumpy and...no, this couldn't be that. Not with Devyn. She was a
one-poison kind of girl. Weed was the only bitch Devyn fucked with. And unless things changed, she still was. Unless...things had
changed. And she wasn't the girl that she had been when they were friends. And Koi had done exactly what he hadn't wanted to do...ruin
her.
As Koi opened his mouth to ask her what she'd possibly taken that night, Devyn started talking...or more like, ranting. About how she hadn't meant to
scare Eri...and how she wanted Eri to know that she was sorry and...and about showing up unannounced...and before he knew it, Koi's head began to spin
even worse. He closed his eyes against it. His hand went to rub his temple as the pulsing there almost made a theme song with Devyn's voice. All of
the words and the pulsing jumbled together. Apologies, regrets...if he had to be honest, he didn't even know if Devyn was talking to him. Her words
were a hundred miles a minute and she kept rubbing at her eyes, ruining her already ruined masc-
"I want to apologize to you, kid." What? Koi dropped his hand to his side, his eyes opening to look at her face. She was apologizing? For
what? A heavy sigh escaped him as he willed things to just start making...sense. Because at that point, nothing did. Not Devyn standing in his room,
asking for his forgiveness to her unexpected apology. Not her words. Not her presence, period. But here it all was, as real and as right as rain. It
was happening and Koi's muddled brain would have to make sense out of it, whether he felt he could or not.
"You? You fucked us up?" What was she talking about?! It had been finished, resolved. That day, in the classroom. It had been both of their faults. No
one could point a finger at the other without being to blame themselves and...Koi could agree with that. They were both the reason for the end of
their friendship and they both believed that it was for the better. But now, THEY weren't?
"Dev." Again, Koi called her name, refusing to believe that anything that she was saying, she truly believed. But he couldn't question how true her
words were because she just...kept talking. Taking the blame for things that weren't her fault. Telling him she missed him. Against his will,
his lips twitched at those words, a smile wanting to break at those words. Koi didn't really need the blame. All he needed was that...I miss
you.
"Dev, I-" Calling her name was pointless as she didn't stop talking. "DEVYN." His voice called out over her words, silencing her. He
watched her face, the heaviness in her breathing as she waited for the reply to everything she'd just spilled on him. An apology, a white flag, a
peace treaty. All of those things laid out before him like some fat feast. And selfishly, he wanted to eat it all. But selfish was what she'd called
him in the classroom that day. And in someways, she'd been right. The Kidd was only out for himself. The Kidd only did what was right for The Kidd.
No. Not this time.
"Come here..." Holding out his hand to her, he waited for her to grab his hand, pulling her into his chest, his long arms wrapping around her shaking
body. He pressed her against him, his lips lowering to whisper into his ear.
"I already forgave you...for the shit you actually DID, Dev. This wasn't all your fault. The past is the past. You know that..." Nudging her face with
his own, he stared down at her, drawing back enough to see her face.
What?! Why was he shouting at her? Devyn jumped a little her words stopping for a reason in addition to her being finished. She wasn’t letting him
talk. He’d probably been trying to say something in the middle of her rant that made no sense but she couldn’t stop talking once she’d started.
She had to get it out. She needed things to be okay between the two of them, she needed her best friend back. And as his hand reached out to her, his
voice doing the same in a soft ‘come here’, she knew she had. She took his hand, allowing herself to be pulled into him as he held her.
This. This was what she needed. She hadn’t let anyone touch her since she found out about...Not her aunt, not Carter, who had probably been
there for the specific purpose of support...She just hadn’t wanted to be touched. She didn’t think it’d make anything better, it certainly
didn’t change what happened but, it helped. With Koi holding her, accepting her apology, telling her it wasn’t her fault...it helped.
Tell me what really happened. No. She heard herself whimper as she pushed away from him, his arms falling away as she put distance between
them. No. She didn’t want to talk about that. She didn’t want to think about her. It made her angry...and so fucking sad.
Thinking about her filled her with this painful, unreal sadness that was almost numbing. Almost. She heard herself whimper again, her hand coming to
cover her mouth to stop the sound as she tried to get her words together for the first time that night; as she searched for something to say that
wasn’t...
“Nothing.” Lies. “Nothing happened. I just wanted to tell you that I was sorry that’s all I wanted us to be cool again because life, life is
uh, it’s short and I should know that, I know that because my mom died today and she wasn’t even 40 but she’s gone and there’s so much shit I
didn’t say to her before she...” Oh no. No, wait. She wasn’t supposed to be here. This wasn’t what she was supposed to be telling him.
Nothing. Nothing was wrong. Nothing happened. If she said it enough maybe it would be true and this wouldn’t be happening. She would wake up
tomorrow and her mom would be fine and out of whatever hospital she was in and they could just go. The two of them could just leave and disappear to
somewhere where no one could find them. They could...they...couldn’t.
She felt her knees start to give and she allowed it, her body slowly falling to the floor as she let herself do the one thing she’d been trying so
hard to completely avoid. She cried.
I'm taking my time.
I'm doing it right.
Self-Love. Self-Care. Selfish.
Devyn wasn't resisting as she lay against Koi's chest, his arms holding her. He couldn't help but wonder if his arms hadn't been around her, would she
have stayed there, pressed against him? He couldn't help but think why he deserved this. Why, for months, they'd kept it civil and now, she was
here...with him? And then, he realized the truth. He didn't care. The only thing that mattered in that moment was his best friend, in his arms,
pressed against him...not like she wanted to be there...but like she needed to be there, next to him, feeling something...anything. It'd been
too long, too much distance between them and Koi was thankful the fight between them was over. That it was completely over. That maybe, after
everything was cleared out of the way, they could get back to being the way they were. Just like she'd said. They could pretend the last year hadn't
happened. That they hadn't had to do life without having one of the only people that got them, understood them, by their side. It was over and as her
shaking body melted into him, like they were warming each other in a way that heat had nothing to do with, Koi let himself feel the moment. Let
himself hold her, even though he knew the way he held her had less to do with their rekindled friendship and more to do with...how much he'd missed
her.
Their hug was short lived, though, as Koi's whisper to her, his need to know what was really going on with her, seemed to have triggered something in
her. Sent some kind of spark through her that woke her up, reminded her of where she was. Koi flinched as she pushed away from him, out of his arms, a
whimper leaving her as his arms fell from around her. He didn't fight to keep her, she was already doing enough fighting...with herself. There was
distance again and when Koi looked at her, he knew what she was really trying to put distance between. Herself and what had happened...what had her in
his room in the first place. When she whimpered again, her hand coming to her mouth like she was trying to hold back something that only wanted to
come out and spill out, right there in his room, he knew he was right.
"Tell me." Koi said, keeping the distance, letting her fight herself. She was winning, because...lies. That was all she was giving him when
she told him "nothing" was wrong, that she wasn't being ripped apart inside by what she was holding back on. Koi could only shake his head at the
words she was saying...until, they started getting...strange. She started speaking quickly, things ran together, but crazy enough, Koi understood more
and more with every sentence. Life is short. I should know that...
My mom died today...
Despite himself, his mouth dropped open in shock. Her moms. Her mother...was dead. That was what this was all about. It had never really been about
him or her, or their lost friendship. It'd been her mom. She'd lost her mother today and...she was...losing it, right before his eyes. Slowly, he
stepped closer to her as her words faltered and stopped. The shock that covered her face when she'd realized what she'd just said made him pause. He
didn't...what the fuck was he supposed to do? Her moms was gone. Just...gone. Devyn had only talked about her a couple of times, but that was it.
She'd never explained details or where she was or why she didn't stay with her own mother. But he could tell she loved her whenever she spoke about
her...and now she was gone. What...the fuck...was he supposed to do? Hug her? Hold her hand? Pray with her? What? Anything would've been better than
just standing there and watching her...and seeing her fall...collapse into a pool of her own tears.
Like they were some magical potion, her whimpers, her pained moans, the tears falling from her eyes and onto his floor unfroze him. He stepped towards
her, hovered over her. Listened to the sounds of her heart breaking. And he...reached out, his hand touching her hair lightly before he sank to the
floor beside her. His hands reached out for her, pulled her on to his lap. He didn't care if she resisted him, he wasn't letting her go. So he kept
pulling at her until she was curled up on him, her shaking body pressed to him, her head in his chest. And he held her.
It was dark. As Devyn opened her eyes from what felt like a coma, that was the first thing she’d noticed. The second? She wasn’t in her own bed.
She was...still with Koi. Which was obvious from the heat at her back and the arm that laid across her waist. She was still at his place and...he
stayed with her. She smiled a bit at the thought; it was...sweet, what he’d done. Especially with how she came to him...and when. Rubbing at her
eyes, which were no longer blurred, she thought back over the last couple of hours, all of it a hazy blur that she was sure she didn’t want to
remember. She knew what happened. And all of it had lead to him. Koi was there for her. Even after being on the outs for almost a full year, he was
there for her when she need him the most and that was...friendly. There were words that were much stronger and much more appropriate than that but
friendly fit. It was perfect. It was what they were. Friends.
What time was it? She was on the wrong side of the bed to see his alarm clock...she’d have to get up sooner or later either way. Her hand went to
his wrist, lifting it gently so not to disturb him as she sat up, silently swinging her feet over the side of the bed to stand. Turning around she
glanced at the clock. It was almost 3 in the morning...Her aunt was probably out of her mind with worry, as Devyn had said nothing before running out
of her house. Did she bring in her phone? Probably not. It was probably still in the car and she should have been on her way home anyway. She’d
imposed on Koi enough...probably enough for the year. But first...
She tiptoed, careful to make as little noise as possible, to his bathroom closing the door behind her before turning on the light and standing before
his sink. God, she looked a mess. Her mascara was all over her face, her eyes were bloodshot, and her hair had made a kind of nest in the back. Ugh.
Sighing she opened his medicine cabinet. She knew he had a stash of Visine, more to clear high-eye than dry-eye but they would work perfectly. Giving
herself two in each eye she replaced it, her focus turning to her running mascara now. Taking a paper towel from the holder, she wet it, attempting to
clear her face and succeeding for the most part with a bit of work. Devyn quickly ran her fingers through her hair, pushing it to one side and
allowing it to fall however it may as long as it wasn’t as tangled as before. She only had to make it home and bed-hair would do just fine.
Satisfied with her face, despite her still puffy eyes, she turned out the light, opening the door before creeping back to bed. Koi had turned on his
side, his back to her as she crawled to him. “Koi-,” he didn’t move. She knew he wouldn’t though. Koi had always been a heavy sleeper. It
usually took a herd of elephants. Leaning into his ear, she spoke, her voice a little louder than normal, but not enough to pass his walls. “Kid,
I’m leaving-,” she laughed a little, hearing him grunt something that wanted to be a response. “Don’t get up. I just wanted to say
thanks...”
I'm taking my time.
I'm doing it right.
Self-Love. Self-Care. Selfish.
It was late. Koi couldn't tell how late, but he knew that dark filled the room around him. He was lingering, somewhere between "sleep" and "wake" when
the light went on in his bathroom, illuminating his face enough for him to turn over and avoid it. A soft groan crept between his lips as he adjusted
his head on his pillow, moving into the extended warmth on his sheets. Why was his bed so fucking warm? Did it really matter? It was comfortable as
fuck and the feeling of his comforter beneath him had him drifting back off into...oh yeah. Devyn had been there. Her body had been right
beside his, hadn't it? Yeah, it had...his arm on her waist, his chest pressed against her back. She'd...cried for awhile. A long time. So long that by
the time she finally stopped, she'd been exhausted enough for Koi to slip her into his bed and her not to wake from the coma she'd cried herself into.
And just like he had before, he held her again. Held her until his eyes closed and the same coma took him under too.
He didn't remember when sleep hit again, Devyn's voice talking into his ear. Her hair brushed his cheek as she hovered over him, saying something
about...leaving? Why was she leaving? That day had been shit for her and now, after a couple hours of sleep, she was ready to go again? Didn't she
just want to...wait and...hell, he didn't know! But it just seemed crazy that she was up and ready to go...now...in the middle of the night.
"Nu-uh..." Koi mumbled, the rest of his words warbling with the sleep that still coated his voice. But the gist of his words were...to stay.
Inhaling, he turned over slowly, his eyes opening to her leaning over him. She was still speaking, a little giggle escaping at the drowsiness in his
voice. He smiled, his eyes closing again at her voice still talking to him. More like talking at him. Thanking him for doing what he did for her that
night. She was thanking him for something he didn't need any thanks for. Everything he did...he knew she would've done for him. He didn't have a doubt
in that matter. And that made shit a lot easier when it came to her. He knew that had each other's backs, no matter what. No matter time, distance,
the end of a friendship. Nothing could keep him from being there, right by her side...and her, by his...when they really needed each other.
"Hey..." He said, eyes opening to her face again, his hand coming to touch her hair, pushing a couple of strands behind her ear as he spoke. "No
problem, babe." He smiled again as his hand touched her knee, giving it a gentle squeeze.
"You sure you gotta leave? You can stay...if you want..."
She did have to thank him. He’d done more than any friend should ever have to and if the truth were to be told, they hadn’t been official friends
at the time. But they still had that unspoken bond. That thing that kept them close even though they’d agreed to keep their distance. It was the
same thing that had made their conversations over the last few months feel completely empty. It was the shit they’d been trying to simply ignore and
for what? Because she couldn’t deal with him not wanting to be her boyfriend? It all sounded completely stupid now. Koi was...amazing. And there
wasn’t a title that needed to be put on that. The two of them just...were.
She would have loved to tell him that. How completely stupid she’d been about the whole thing (sans tears this time), but he was resting. A well
deserved break after what she’d just put him through. She would let him sleep, she simply wanted to whisper a thank you and be out...well not so
much a whisper. He turned over as she giggled a bit, the sleep in his voice making him impossible to understand. He didn’t have to get up. She could
easily find her way to the door without him and slip out without waking anyone. As she told him just that, his eyes closed again, a smile on his face,
surely given for her permission to sleep and the small thank you on her lips.
No problem, babe. His hand reached out to her, giving one of her knees a reassuring squeeze that told her he didn’t really want her thanks.
But she wanted to give it. She had to. In the little he’d done, he’d done so much and she couldn’t have asked for a better friend...nor could
she have asked to burden him any more than she already had. “Nah, kid I have to get home, but really-,” Devyn leaned in, her hand coming to his
chin as she gently turned his head, her lips meeting his cheek, “thanks...” without her permission, her words were at a whisper again. Her hand
left his face and he looked up at her again and she felt...different. Like she was closer than she should have been, like she was closer than she
had been...Like leaving was the last thing she wanted to do.
Devyn leaned in again, this time allowing her lips to touch his as she gave him a kiss that made up for the time they’d spent apart.
I'm taking my time.
I'm doing it right.
Self-Love. Self-Care. Selfish.
Koi knew it. His invitation for her to stay was a stretch. That night, no matter how many times Devyn had apologized to him about them and how things
had gone down, it hadn't been about him at all. It was about her...and the pain she was feeling over her Moms. A pain that Koi couldn't even imagine.
Sure, he and his mom weren't the two best friends that anyone could ever have or anything. But Koi was sure that he could never imagine losing her.
Not the way it seemed Devyn had lost hers. Suddenly. Without warning. Without saying goodbye... So Koi was cool with that. He was cool with
things being about Devyn's mom. Because when something real happened, that meant that there was something bigger than the shit that had gone down
between the two of them ever would be. It didn't even exist anymore...their issues. Their fights. The stupid shit they'd said and done. Nothing
mattered outside of him being there for her...and her appreciating it. She didn't have to say thank you, though. Because that made it seem like he was
doing her a favor...and it wasn't even like that with them now. He was there for Devyn...because...when it came to her? Koi couldn't see himself
being any other place but "there"...
A soft smile settled on his face to cover the disappointment he couldn't keep from feeling when Devyn said she needed to leave. But it he got it. Her
Moms was gone. She needed time to...mourn. Her family was probably coming in town and everything to be with her. She needed to be with people that
were feeling that same pain that she was. And what about her Aunt? Koi really couldn't remember if she was related to Devyn's mom or dad, but either
way, she was probably feeling it too. Yeah, leaving was the better option and Koi wasn't going to make Devyn feel bad about wanting to go home. She
couldn't stay at his place and avoid everything that was real. She had to face reality. With a small nod, Koi made to sit up and slide out of bed so
that he could walk her to the door...until...her hand touched the his chin, lifting his face to her. He smiled as her lips met his cheek. Again...with
the gratitude. Laughing, his eyes lowered as he grabbed the hand that held his chin.
"Dev, stop..." He said, his quiet chuckle dancing around his words. "You're makin' a nigga blush..." But when he looked at Devyn, there wasn't
anything comical in her eyes. No laughter, no gratitude...just...shit. Koi didn't draw away when she leaned forward again, her lips aiming
for a different location. Eyes still watching her, Koi let her kiss him. Her lips pressed against his softly, so softly that he wasn't sure
that...that he wasn't dreaming. Devyn was kissing him...again. As their lips parted against each other, Koi couldn't help but...draw back
into his pillow, his brow furrowed for more than just his confusion.
"Whoa..." With a deep breath, he sat up, his back resting against the wall behind his bed. "What are we doin', Dev?"
She was kissing him again. As if they hadn’t been apart for as long as they had...as if it was...familiar. It was always this way with him.
Always easy, always natural, always...intimate. Even as softly as the kiss started, it quickly became something else, her tongue parting his lips as
her fingers intertwined with his. She was ready to get lost again. This was what the two of them were good at, it was the reason they had always been
so drawn to one another. She and Koi lost time together. They got to a point where neither of them cared about what was happening outside of whatever
it was they were doing, outside of what they were talking about, or in this case, how they touched one another. She was ready to get lost with him
again...but he wasn’t.
She felt herself frown a bit as he pulled away, the disappointment obvious as she did the same. What? What was the problem? She was staying, it was
what he’d asked for. He spoke, his lips asking a question that she didn’t know how to even begin to answer. What are we doin’, Dev? She
didn’t know. She had no words really because she hadn’t thought about kissing him when she did it. She just kinda...did. It felt right. It
wasn’t like before, it wasn’t like Christmas. Last year she had known what they were doing was wrong. She’d known that kissing him would lead to
something neither of them was really ready for...but not now. It was wrong then but, it wasn’t now. Nothing about the two of them was wrong anymore.
Not after what he’d done for her tonight.
“I don’t know-,” she answered honestly. She had no idea what they were doing. Devyn probably wasn’t supposed to be making this type of
decision in her current state. She was probably supposed to find her keys and let him walk her to his front door, get in her car and drive home. She
was probably supposed to go home and mourn with her family and make funeral arrangements and...a bunch of other shit. She couldn’t do most of it. In
fact, she wouldn’t even be going to her mother’s funeral. She was on the run. She couldn’t. Not only did she not get to say goodbye to her
mother before she died, she wouldn’t even be able to say goodbye now that she was gone...This was that shit. It was the exact shit she didn’t want
to think about. It was the shit that she wanted to get away from. It hurt less...being lost with Koi.
She didn’t speak again, her eyes refocusing on him before she pulled at the hem of her shirt. It came off, up and over her head before being tossed
aside. She wasn’t changing her mind. Not about this. Because as much as she knew she shouldn’t be doing this now, there was not one piece of her
that felt like she would ever regret it. She crawled to him, covering the short distance between them easily before she came to straddle him, she
didn’t touch him. Not yet. Not until he told her to...
“Don’t tell me no right now, Koi...”
I'm taking my time.
I'm doing it right.
Self-Love. Self-Care. Selfish.
Nope. It wasn't happening again. As his back pushed against the pillows, his heart pounding violently in his chest, Koi couldn't believe that
deja vu could be so fucked up. So damn cruel. A year later and here they were...again. Lips meeting, blood racing, and a choice. The decision that
lingered between the both of them whether they were going to move forward or wise up and slow down. And Koi would've loved to say that he learned his
lesson. That the entire year of being an enemy instead of a friend would've made him smarter, wiser. That the fights, the nights full of company that
didn't even touch Devyn's, the pretending...that all of that taught him a valuable lesson and that he was intelligent enough to take it. That he'd
gone through enough to never make the same mistake again. But...he couldn't say that the choice was that easy. He couldn't say that her eyes on him,
full of everything that she wanted to do to him, everything she wanted to say, weren't scrambling his thoughts. He couldn't say that her kiss hadn't
nearly made him want to lose himself in her like he had a year ago. But this time...the voices arguing with him, fighting against him were louder.
They weren't whispers anymore.
His question told the story of those shouting voices that took so much more to shut up. What WERE they doing? What was she doing? After everything,
she still...wanted this? She still wanted him? They'd spent so much fucking time, angry with each other...he knew this couldn't be what she wanted.
She was confused. Sad. Grieving. And more than it ever had been, Koi could see her clearly. The hurt that she wanted to just make...go the hell away.
And it looked so damn familiar. Like the look in his eyes when he saw the chemical savior that could shut up the bullshit in his life. And...that was
what he was? Her drug...or some shit? He couldn't let her do it. He couldn't let her fuck up her life because the pain was too much. He couldn't let
her...be weak like him.
Shaking his head at her, he closed his eyes against the look in her eyes. She was pleading with him, begging him. And he could feel himself slip a
little. Like the control that he was trying to have over himself was like sand, slipping through his fingers. Feeling her shift on the bed, he knew
she was getting up, coming to her senses, going home. But as he opened his eyes again, his lowered lids barely letting his look through his lashes at
her, he saw that was the complete opposite of what she was doing. Her shirt was going over her head, bra exposed. Swallowing hard, he wanted to look
away. But her body...damn...her body. He couldn't stop looking. Her curves were just as amazing as they'd been the first night he'd felt them
at his party...in his living room. He couldn't help but touch. Her movement towards him made his already thudding heart race as she came to him, her
body straddling his lap.
Don't tell me no... Shit. What was he supposed to do, then? Let this happen? Go back through the fucking cycle of losing her because of
something stupid that he'd say or do? But... but he couldn't...say no. He wanted to. Just to save the friendship that they'd just gotten back. He
wanted to do the right thing. He wanted to...fucking hell. His hands had made their way to her thighs, rubbing towards the bottom of her
shorts, to her stomach...to her breast, cupping them through the fabric of her bra. And as quickly as he'd touched her, his hands fell away, back to
her thighs. Nope. Not yet.
"I'm not gonna hurt you again..." He whispered, trying to keep his hands from caressing her again. "You really want this? Because you need to be sure
this time, Dev. Do you want me?" The question was weighted. It meant so much more than just her wanting his body and a good fuck. Did she want HIM.
The Koi she knew. The one incapable of emotion or giving anything outside of his selfish self. Did she want to feel all of the shit he would bring
into her life...just to feel him inside of her? Did she want him?
She wouldn’t have been able to take it. If she paid attention to anything in her life outside of this room, right now, she wouldn’t have been able
to take it. What was waiting for her outside? Her aunt, whom she’d probably worried into a coma; a cousin that would tell her she wasn’t shit for
making Athena worry the way she had, and the reality that her mother was dead. There was nothing she wanted outside of this space…with him. She’d
been here for less than 12 hours and in that time Koi had done the one, simple thing that she had never gotten anyone else to do. He stayed.
Everyone abandoned her. Her father, her brother, the boys that had pretended to like her, the “friends” that were there for the ups and missing
for the downs…No one stayed. Eventually, at some point, everyone left her…Look at her mom…No, Devyn wanted to stay exactly where she was with
exactly who she was with. Because she knew he actually cared. He cared what happened to her and he cared how she felt and that was…it was all she
was willing to acknowledge. The rest of it would wait. Her pain would wait. Right now, she was happy and Koi was the reason.
And he would keep being that. He wouldn’t tell her no. He couldn’t. The thought hadn’t even crossed her mind as she rested atop him, waiting for
him to tell her that this was okay. That they were okay. But it seemed there wasn’t much to say, his hands trailing up her thighs, over the hips he
loved so much, rubbing over her stomach before—God. She inhaled sharply, her lip catching between her teeth as she watched him. She knew he
wouldn’t tell her n—what? No. No, what was he doing?
His explanation came as quickly as his hands had fallen away from her. I’m not gonna hurt you again… Of course he wasn’t. Not Koi,
never Koi. He couldn’t hurt her, she knew that for sure. Nothing he said, nothing he did would change her mind about him. She was here. She was here
for him and just like he’d done for her, she wasn’t going anywhere. Did she want him? She knew he meant more than physically. He meant him; all
of him. He was asking her if she was here for all of his shit like he had already proven he was for hers. To Devyn the answer was obvious.
She reached behind her, unhooking her bra before slipping out of it, tossing it in the direction her shirt had gone. Her hands came to cup his face,
tilting his head up to look her directly in the eye. Her lips fell to his once more, lingering for just a moment before she pulled back, her hands
remaining at his face.
“I want you.”
I'm taking my time.
I'm doing it right.
Self-Love. Self-Care. Selfish.
If Devyn kept dropping clothes the way she was, Koi knew that a "smart" decision was out of the question. Biting his lip, he watched as she unclasped
her bra and pulled it off before he could even object to her dropping another piece of clothing. Fuck, she was making everything so damn...difficult
for him. He didn't even want to THINK the word "hard". Not at that moment. Not while Devyn was tossing her bra to the side; the curves of her body
that he'd tasted but barely seen through the darkness of his living room the night of his party were on full display. His fingers twitched as he
stared at her, aching to stop with the "good guy" role and just...touch her. Grab out at her. Be the "Koi" he was with the rest of the girls he slept
with and...not give a shit. Not wait for her permission. But...Devyn wasn't every or any other girl. She was...she was "Dev". His best
friend. His "Ace". His... Her hands on his face brought his eyes to hers, tearing them away from the gaze he held on her breasts. And there
it was, another kiss on his lips. So sweet and innocent that he almost couldn't believe that she was topless, straddling his lap. So quiet that he
could barely hear her, she spoke.
I want you.
That was her answer. She wanted him. All of him. The bad shit and the good. The gentleman that barely reared his head and the asshole that always did.
She wanted him. And if Koi should've stopped and thought about whether she'd seriously thought her decision through, he couldn't anymore. Not with
those words and with the look in her eyes. Just like before...she needed him. She needed him to be the friend that he always would be. The friend that
would give her what she needed. The friend that would make the world around her disappear...just for a moment. He'd do that for her.
Without a word, Koi's lips touched hers again before she could completely pull away from him. He felt his lips pulling at her with every kiss, her
head lowering again as her chest rest against his. His toes curled at the sensation, a soft groan falling from him. His hands left their resting place
on her thighs, rising higher to the curve of the hips he couldn't resist touching...holding...the feel of her underneath his palms bringing back
memories that really never left. Them beside his pool, his hands on the inside of her thighs, parting her legs as he lay between them. His fingers
getting adventurous, touching every crevice. His lips tasting hers. Shit. His hands moved to the front of her shorts, his fingers twisting at
the button that held them closed. The zipper went down as his lips caught her lower one before he broke the kiss...and wrapped his arm around her
waist, softly flipping her over and placing her on the bottom, her back falling to his sheets.
She wanted him. She wanted this. In a twisted kind of way, she felt like they were destined for this. This cycle of pissing each other off, getting
over it, and making up in the way their bodies had been drawn to since their first smoke in the courtyard. This was what the two of them were going to
be doing for a long time coming and that was...it was what she wanted. Her friendship with Koi was going to be painful and messy and tiring. But when
it wasn’t being all of those things...it was going to be great. As great as it had been since the moment she’d arrived at his door. The two of
them would be perfectly imperfect with one another and that was what she wanted. Among other things...
Devyn moaned as his lips came to hers again, their chests meeting as he finally gave her the ‘yes’ she’d practically begged him for.
Finally...She felt as if she were melting into him, her hands pulling at his face as their kiss deepened, his tongue parting her lips and
starting the dance the two of them were so accustomed to. God. His hands moved from her hips to the front of her shorts, his fingers playing
at the button before pulling at the zipper. He wanted them off. Hell, she wanted them off. She sighed as he moved again, his arm wrapping around her
waist before he broke the kiss he’d started. Before she knew it, Devyn was on her back, her legs still clinging to his waist as her body rolled
against his. Fuckkk. His name escaped her in a moan and it was her turn for her hands to travel between them, lifting the bottom of his
t-shirt as her hands met his waist. She dragged them up his torso, stopping when she could go no further.
Devyn leaned up, her lips hitting Koi’s ear as she whispered to him what she wanted, “Take it off.” She wanted it gone. She wanted to feel him
without barriers, she wanted to see him. She wanted him… Why couldn’t she stop thinking that. The phrase, ever since she’d told him,
had been on repeat in her mind as they explored one another. She wanted him. And that want was quickly becoming a need…
I'm taking my time.
I'm doing it right.
Self-Love. Self-Care. Selfish.
Her legs were near vice-like around his waist, speaking in a way that her mouth couldn't. Wouldn't...not that night. Koi had a feeling that there
wouldn't be many words between them that night. There would be moans, a few soft groans, and the occasional quiet purr from her. But her legs, tightly
wound around him as he rolled them over and put her underneath him... Her heartbeat, pounding between their touching chests... Her entire
body...all of it was doing enough "speaking" for Koi. He listened to her...to them. Her lips opening to him, the sound of their kisses sounding
in his ears. His body shifting on top of hers, hands rubbing up the length of her thick thighs and grasping at her satin skin. Her body...rolling and
pressing against his...like if she kept trying, there was a way they'd become one. His name...rolling in a moan like a way too familiar way
from her. This was familiar. All of it. The touching, her body against his, the way her movements set his skin on end...electricity firing
from every nerve. This was them. This was what they were supposed to do. What they were meant to do since day one. It'd always been like this...bodies
answering...habit that neither of them knew they had. Like they were fucking addicts taking a hit after a wait that was way too long. Responding to
each other without any hesitation. It was insane...but at the same time, it made perfect sense.
But...this friendship. What the fuck did that mean anymore? Friendship wasn't a word they had because "friends" didn't crave the inside of their
"friend's" thighs. And "friends" didn't daydream about this exact moment every time they looked at "friends". That word didn't apply to what he and
Devyn were. They were something more. Down ass for each other, knew each other inside and out...and the answer to everything they craved. What the
hell was that called? Friends with benefits? Lovers and friends? Fuckbuddies?
Take it off...Devyn's fingertips at the bottom of his shirt met with the command from her mouth, her voice breaking the thoughts that clouded
what was really important. Koi leaned towards her lips, falling in the quick moment where the fullness rubbed against his lobe. He bit his lip,
pulling away from her, his eyes keeping the meaningful stare that hers held as he sat up and lifted the bottom of his shirt, gathering it around his
chest. He reached over his shoulder, grabbing the shirt from his back and pulling it over his head, throwing it in the pile that their clothing was
beginning to make. And maybe...they should've added more to the pile...
There was no asking when his fingers found the edge of Devyn's already loosened shorts...and the underwear she wore underneath. At the same damn
time sounded about right. There'd been enough hesitation in the past when it came to Koi and Devyn. This time wouldn't be a close call...and Koi
made sure of that as he pulled her clothes over her thighs and down her legs, giving that clothes pile two more items to add to the heap.
Why did they have to call themselves anything? Devyn didn’t care, so why did Koi? Friends, lovers, lab partners, whatever. What they called it
didn’t matter. What mattered was the way their hips were connecting now, the way his groans were sending chills over her body, the way their bodies
were responding…like they usually did. If she’d believed in past lives and all that she’d have been sure that she and Koi had crossed paths
before. This kind of passion didn’t simply happen and it didn’t just crop up. Even the few times they’d been interrupted before this, they’d
been…familiar. In sync. As if this were as natural as breathing. As if they’d only ever done this with one another and nothing and no one else
outside of them knew this…experience. That’s what he could call this if he had to put a name to it. She and Koi were and experience. A once in a
lifetime chance that they were lucky enough to share.
But right now what they were wasn’t important. What they were doing was all that mattered. To her anyway. It was working. What he was doing for
her—what he was doing to her was working. There were no thoughts outside of what she wanted next and that’s how she liked it. Quiet, save
for his groans, her moans, and his name. It slipped from her lips just before she made the request for him to lose the shirt, her teeth
nipping at his ear lobe before he pulled away from her to take it off. Her hands fell away from him as she watched. Head resting where his had just
moments ago and she watched as he pulled his shirt up and then off, tossing it into the growing pile of clothing she had started. Shit. It
was like he was chiseled. Carved out of marble to perfection…she wanted to touch him. Honestly, she wanted to do so much more than that.
As did he it seemed, his movements not stopping as his hands came to the shorts he’d already undone, pulling both those and her underwear over her
thighs and off, tossing them aside too. They’d never gotten this far before. Never in his room, never in his bed, and never with her lying naked
beneath him, waiting for him to do whatever he pleased to her…They’d never been so close…Devyn sat up a bit, her lips kissing his bare chest
before beginning a trail up meeting his neck, then his jawline, then his lips, lingering there as their kiss began again, her hand meeting the back of
his neck as she pulled him back on top of her. She was ready. Foreplay had always been their downfall and she didn’t want that tonight.
There was no going back now and she wanted to make sure he knew that.
Their kiss didn’t break as her free hand slipped between them, dipping into his shorts and gripping his—mmmmmm. Devyn moaned into his
mouth, her hand beginning a slow stroke on his already hardening length. There was no going back. Devyn knew that and now she was sure that Koi knew
it too.
I'm taking my time.
I'm doing it right.
Self-Love. Self-Care. Selfish.
Leaning over her, Koi couldn't help but pause for the shortest part of a second...and look at her. Devyn's body was amazing. This was the
first time...ever...that she had been this way. Unclothed. Naked. Completely uncovered underneath him. Even in the darkness of his room, he saw the
beauty in her skin. He knew she was be like this. The curve of her breast. The way her waist rounded into those the two hips he was obsessed with. Her
thighs, full and shaped like some higher being molded them with his own hands for some higher purpose that went way beyond Koi's hands. That sexy
triangle that her slightly closed thighs made around her center. He could've stared at her for hours. And that was saying a lot. This never happened.
Not with other girls that had laid in the very spot that Devyn occupied. He never took the time to...appreciate them. To see them outside of any
purpose but being inside of them. He never took a moment. With Devyn, every thought combined. He wanted to stare at her, take her in until he knew
every pore on her skin, but...goddamn he wanted to touch her. He wanted to touch her in every place...all at once...just to say he'd touched
every inch of her.
But before he could even think about where beginning and ending would be, he watched her sit up so that she could reach him, her lips touching his
chest, his skin heating every place her lips touched. He could barely hear the moan his own body made as his eyes closed to her touch. The trail her
lips made lit torches underneath his skin, making a pathway from his neck, to his jaw and then to his lips, hers staying there until he turned the
kiss into something else. His lips pulled at hers, catching her bottom one between his two. He felt her pull at him, her hand at the back of his neck
as their kiss got stronger and a lot more crazier. Intense. He sucked at her tongue as he leaned on top of her, his hips pressing into the space
between her thighs, leaving just enough room for his hand to get between him and...
She beat him to the punch. Damn. A curse slipped from his mouth and into hers, meeting her moan as he felt her hand slide into his shorts and
touch him. He had to keep himself from jumping from the suddenness of her hand against him, stroking at his length. He let out a shaky breath, pulling
away from the kiss, his eyes closed against the feeling of her touching him, rubbing him. Mouths weren't talking that night. Only lips,
heartbeats...hands. Devyn's hand was shouting at him. No stalling tonight. And Koi wasn't about not giving Devyn what she wanted that night.
Their kisses met new levels every time their lips joined, his touching hers, opening to hers, their tongues entangled. His back arched at the feeling
her hand was making inside of his shorts, the rhythm coming together with every caress, making his body respond. Balancing on his arm, he hovered over
her, his other hand busy pulling at the side of his shorts, lowering them past his thighs. There wouldn't be anything that got between he and Devyn
that night. No distractions...on clothes. He wanted every part of him touching her. Just skin.
With his shorts gone, Devyn went at him harder. Her hips made circles against him as she rubbed at his length, her hand making him so hard he could
barely stand it. He could barely stand...waiting anymore. He didn't have to wait now. She was here, ready for him. Shifting his hips, he touched her
thighs...and he felt them tremble beneath his palms as his hands slowly rubbed all the way to...her. Devyn opened for him, her legs spreading
enough to invite him in. She'd been waiting. He'd been waiting...for this. For her. For the moment he could be deep inside of her. The wet "her".
Inside of that pink. Pleasure rippled down his back as he answered their wait, taking her hand that held his impatient length underneath his
own...both of them guiding him into her.
They were getting reckless. As their lips met again and Devyn pulled him back on top of her something seemed to click and the both of them
got…hungry. She could feel it in the way their kiss intensified, their lips, tongues, and moans twisting together in the harmony that their
bodies were used to. Her hips bucked against his, one of her legs coming back up to his waist in a silent request for more. One that she punctuated as
her hand slipped into his shorts. She giggled a little as he cursed, his body responding to her touch becoming still before he caught himself enough
to pull out of their kiss. She loved it. Knowing that just her touch was enough to send electricity through him had her wondering what might
happen when he was finally ready to fall into her. Soon…
Sooner than she thought it seemed as Koi had grown anxious. With her every stroke of her hand he fell further and further into her, his back arching
to meet her stoke as his hips fell into rhythm too. God, she was ready. She might have told him so, but she couldn’t bear to stop tasting
him long enough to speak. She wanted this. Their kisses, their closeness, but God, she wanted so much more. She needed it. Him. And as if he
could read her mind his hand pulled at his shorts getting them off and out of the way. She was so hot. She felt feverish and her temperature
only rose as his hands met her thighs, a shiver the exact opposite of her rising temperature rippled through her. This was it. And it was, her legs
spreading for him as his hand met hers and they both guided him inside her.
The kiss broke. Her moan was louder than it had been before. Probably louder than it should have been as he slid slowly into her, his name leaving her
lips blending into yet another moan as their hips met, her back arching and pushing him deeper. Fuckkkk. He felt so good. They had waited for
this moment for a year and a half. Since he invited her to his “kickback”. Since they shared their first dance. Since…shit..
Devyn lost her thoughts as he slid out of her, only to fall back in as they built a rhythm. Her lips found his again as her arms wrapped around his
neck pulling him closer, making sure he could feel every roll of her body against his. This was what she’d asked for. This was what she wanted.
She wanted him.
I'm taking my time.
I'm doing it right.
Self-Love. Self-Care. Selfish.
He was gone. Any thoughts of going back or stopping had gone a long time ago and now, nothing...no thoughts existed. He was in one place and
that place was in her. In Devyn... It seemed that it had taken forever for them to get to the place where they were now. He, inside of
her...pushing past the lips that began the silence in his head and into the depths of her. She felt like bliss. She felt like every
motherfucking drug known to man. A electric high lay between her thighs, energy pulsing through every nerve in Koi's body as she surrounded him. Even
drawing out of her made his eyes lull, the ripples inside of her rubbing against him and his name, mingled in a moan from her lips. Like the drug she
was, he needed another hit as soon as the first one ended, his next thrust coming quicker than the first.
Their hips met as he slid into her again, Devyn's arms wrapping around his neck, pulling him to her...closer, her body rolling into his thrusts,
pushing his body deeper into hers. He flattened himself against her chest, his face inches from hers. He met her eyes, quickly finding their rhythm as
he pushed in and pulled out. The sudden eye contact made warm shoot all over his body. He knew his cheeks were flushing bright ass red, like they
usually did when he was deep in it. But that night, he knew the shit was worse. Devyn was bringing out something...deeper in him. Every push inside of
her was ten times more...intense. Every touch from their skin was...he couldn't explain it. He couldn't think hard enough to find a word. He
could only see one word that didn't make sense, but it did. Fire. Thank fucking god that the room was dark...
One thrust followed another one and pretty soon, the end of one flowed into the next one. Koi's hands left the bed where he steadied himself and found
her waist, holding on to her, griping flesh as he pulled her into his thrusts, his chest still pressed against hers. His body rolled on her, his
thrusts getting stronger as he lowered his face to hers, kissing her chin as his thrusts arched her back. His mouth curved into a smile as he watched
Devyn lose herself in him, letting the feeling their joined bodies made wash over her. He loved her sex faces... The little furrow in her
brow. The way she bit at her full lips. Everything...all of it...turned him on. As the sound of their dull, slow thud magnified, he felt himself moan
out, his kiss becoming a suck. His mouth moved to her neck, his back arching as he pulled at the soft skin there, tasting her. His tongue flicked out
at the side of her neck, his breathy, quiet moan falling there. She tasted like she felt. Smooth. Addicting.
"You taste like sex, babe...damn." He whispered against her skin, his thrust slowing as he sat up, his hands sliding to her thighs. Pulling
them away from his waist as he held them and pushed her knees to the bed, spreading her to him. Hovering over her, he slid into her again, a new moan
falling from her at the new feeling the position brought. He smiled again, his hands pressing down harder as his thrusts answered her moan.
Moans, whimpers, whines. Devyn couldn’t control them as Koi delved in and out of her over and over, every thrust more intense than the
last. She couldn’t think. She couldn’t even see, her eyes refusing to open as she let the sensation he was making between her thighs take over
completely. She was out of it. Completely gone as their rhythm grew faster and stronger and—fuck. A small scream escaped her, her head
falling back as her back arched up. She felt Koi’s lips meet her chin and she smiled, licking her lips before her teeth caught the bottom one.
She’d never felt like this.
Koi was doing something to her that she had never experienced. A virgin she was not, but sex had never been like this with anyone else. She…felt
with Koi. Beyond the physical. If was funny; she had started this to get away from her feelings. To let go of her thoughts and just…escape. But she
hadn’t been able to turn off everything. She was making it completely obvious how into this she was, the sex. Her moans, the sighs, his
name falling from her lips whenever she found the strength to speak. But there was more that her body couldn’t say…and her lips probably
never would. Not after what he’d done for her. She liked him. More than a friend, and certainly not like a brother and part of her felt like that
was half of the reason sex with him felt like this. Like she’d always known it would…a-fucking-mazing…
She cursed as his kiss turned to a suck at the side of her neck, surely leaving a mark that she wouldn’t mind explaining to anyone that asked. A
small reminder of what they’d done here, a reminder of every sound, every touch, every word. Her thoughts paused at the sound of his voice
beaking through the sound of their bodies meeting, telling her what she tasted like…Damn…Why was everything he did a turn on? She tried
to respond, but all that escaped her was yet another whine of pleasure as Koi slipped deeper into her before his thrusts slowed. She felt his hand
slip from the grip he held on her waist, sliding down her thighs as he pushed her knees into the bed. He slid into her again and she felt herself
start to give. She moaned out as their pace picked back up, her hands gripping the sheets beneath her as she squirmed under him, the control she had
slipping with each thrust.
“Koi, I-,” she stopped, a moan interrupting her words. She licked her lips before she tried again, sure she still wouldn’t be able to get out
what she was trying to say, “Oh my God, I’m-,” She couldn’t finish, but it became obvious as her thoughts manifested themselves and
she came, Koi still moving swiftly in and out of her. He didn’t have to stop. Hell, she didn’t want him to. This was the first of many…
I'm taking my time.
I'm doing it right.
Self-Love. Self-Care. Selfish.
Koi, I- Devyn's unfinished words were lost on Koi, his mind was somewhere else...her thighs and the thrusts he was making between them. Not
that he wasn't listening to her. He was...her moans. The dumb sexy whines that she released when her words mingled with a groan. Her sighs, breathless
at something that Koi was doing to her. Something he was doing. And all of those sounds were music to his ears. She was musical...sex sounds
blending together like the sweetest symphony. But her words? He wasn't sure he could even comprehend any of it at that point. He was so deep in her.
So lost in here that even trying to understand anything outside of melody she was making was pretty pointless. But that moan? The one that interrupted
his words? He heard that one, adding his own to it as he drew in and out of her, his strokes faster than when he'd started, but slow enough for her to
feel every one of them. His eyes narrowed at his gaze on her, her body still stuck by his touch. She licked her lips and behind her closed lids, Koi
knew her eyes were rolling into her fucking head. She was enjoying it. Loving it And he understood. He was right there with her...
Biting his lip, he couldn't stop starting at her. The way her body rolled against his, twisting...moving. He even caught her running a couple of
times, a small grin flickering on his face before he pushed against her thighs, bringing her back into him again. The way her body enjoyed his had him
caught up, loving every moment of something that he'd waited for...wanted, but never saw happening. Good thing that fate did what it wanted to do.
Because this? Her chest heaving, legs trembling, the sweet moans her mouth was making? Koi wouldn't have missed this for the world. And the more he
watched, the more he wanted. His hips sped up, a soft groan accenting every thrust. But the part that stuck out? Devyn's next words.
Oh my God, I'm- Her body finished her sentence and her whole body seemed like it was...vibrating. She rippled around him as he kept
the pace, pushing inside of her against the tightening between her thighs. If fucking her was heaven, then there had to be something higher because
when she came, it was...nirvana. She'd reached enlightenment and so had he, barely keeping himself from joining her as her moved in her. Fate. As much
as Koi hated the word, the bitch was his best friend now. He wouldn't have missed this for the fucking world....
"Fuuuuuck. Damn Dev..." He moaned, his thrusts slowing, her body still at a high he wouldn't try to stop. He would ride it out with her, keep
moving in that new wetness she made between her legs. His head lowered and he sucked at her bottom lip...her mouth still open as her body came back to
earth. He let go of her thighs, his hands moving from them...to her waist...to the breast he'd been neglecting the entire night. He squeezed them
gently before he moved back to her legs, wrapping them around his waist and pulling her up and onto his lap, sitting her on top of him. His arm held
her waist as he settled them on his bed, in the midst of his fucked up sheets. And his eyes looked up at her, hand moving to her breast, fingers going
right to the hard nub that his mouth was hungry for.
"You done, Hips?" He whispered as he rubbed at her, his eyes only leaving hers to look at the tiny bud appear, his hand moving to cup her
breast.
"You're not done yet...are you?" Another smirk from his lips appeared...and then he busied them as he lowered his head, his tongue touching her nipple
before his mouth wrapped around it.
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