Zori watched her work through what he'd said to her in his office after the gala and begin to understand what he was saying to her now. How he wanted
to still be the man that he said he was the first time they'd crossed the line with each other...and how, even though that was who he was, who he had
always been...he didn't know how long he could continue on that path. When Zori left Oregon, he'd made a promise to himself that everything he did,
from that point, would be to better himself. No negative influences, no distractions. He poured his resources into the KnuckleUp, swore off the liquor
and submersed himself back into the religious practices that had kept him breathing after the Calio and Katrina. All of that had worked for awhile.
He'd been happy and his mind was clear. But he'd also been untested. Nothing had made him second guess the promise he'd made to himself four years ago
like Fumie. Nothing had threatened making him a liar. But that's what he saw in himself now. A liar. A man that couldn't stick to what he said at the
first sign of push back. And what he didn't understand about himself was why he didn't regret his moment of weakness. Because he didn't...regret it.
He didn't regret what happened between them in the sparring room and he didn't regret telling her, in so few words, how hard it was to keep it from
happening again. His momma, who was more of a believer than she was religious, always told him about how the spirit of a man could be willing but his
flesh would be weak. But for Zori, that wasn't the case. Every part of him was pulling towards Fumie. The sinew, muscle and bone that made up his
flesh craved her touch, her closeness. So much so that there almost wasn't anything left that was fighting against doing what Zori knew in his heart
was wrong. Every part of him wanted her...badly enough to forget his own mother's words and his promises...just to be with her.
But he knew that he would never truly be with her. This home, her beautiful, intelligent daughter, her life...all of that was a testament to just how
much she would never belong to him. Her body could. What they'd started in the sparring room, they could've finished it. But after it was done, she'd
still be Fumie Kidd. That ring on her finger would still be four carats of marriage and years of commitment. And it was a loss to Zori to even start
to believe that there would be more for them.
In spite of his thoughts, Zori smiled as Eri walked towards them and sat between them, a very honest question in the air. What were they talking
about. Zori's eyes found Fumie's quickly as he looked away, letting her reply to Eri's question. He silently chuckled at Eri's boldness, knowing that
had that been him as a child, his momma would've backhanded him quicker than he got the question out. He was never a curious child, very hesitant to
press matters that he knew were between "grown folks". But he admired that in Eri, her comfortableness with her mother and surprisingly, with him.
Zori would never mention it, but he could see the uniqueness that lay in Eri, regardless if Fumie had told him how intelligent she was. She seemed to
be years beyond her looks, an old spirit looking out form behind her eyes every time she watched Zori.
If you're done swimming maybe you should shower... Ha. Zori could tell a mother trying to distract her overly aware child when he saw one.
And Fumie definitely was, promising ice cream and a trip to the Boardwalk for her obedience...and probably a little more time to sort out what was
going on between she and Zori. Which he appreciated, even if it meant he'd be taking his leave. Or...not?
"I think that Zo should go with us, too...or no deal." Eri spoke, her quiet voice growing firm with her mother. Zori's amused smile met Eri's very
determined face.
"You can decide while you finish talking. I'll be changing my clothes." And with that Eri waltzed in the house with the confidence of a forty year
old, her face set like her mother's when there was no talking her out of her decision.
"Well! I guess she told you." Zori laughed, leaning back on the lounge as he watched Eri walk away.
"The greatest wisdom is seeing through appearances."
Eri was such a little woman. She was far too grown for her own good sometimes and Fumie guessed she had herself to thank for that. The same thing was
in Koi. She’d raised her kids to be independent. Powerful, in their own rights. Each of them had their talents and she encouraged them to own that.
It was the reason she paid tuition to that expensive ass private school and it was littered through every conversation she had with them. Fumie wanted
them to be their best selves. She knew they were capable. Her job as a mother was to simply keep them on track. That was why she was not completely
shutting Eri down now. She should have been asking questions about things she didn’t understand. But what was a mother to do when she didn’t have
an answer much at all, let alone an answer appropriate for a nine year old... Eri’s talent lied in her intelligence and the older she got the older
she seemed. These days Fumie was beginning to wonder which of them was the adult.
Especially as she countered her offer for ice cream, letting Fumie and Zori know that “Zo” would be joining them and the term was non-negotiable.
Fumie giggled as her grown little girl walked away to get ready for their ice cream date. She rolled her eyes a little as Zori laughed about the
exchange he’d just witnessed. Yeah. That was her Eri.
“That little girl…-,” Fumie shook her head a light laugh on her lips, “I swear she’s nine going on 29. She’s going to be holding my board
meetings by the time she’s twelve.” Fumie laughed again at the thought; about how true it might be. She sighed as the moment passed. They were
alone…and they had more important things to discuss than whether he wanted to join them on the Boardwalk.
“Zo, listen, the sparring room…-,” Fumie bit her lip nervously, unsure of how to say what she wanted to. “I hear what you’re saying and I
know how important your word is to you, but...I want us.” She let that linger, a silence following her confession as she watched him carefully. Was
that too much? Probably. But there was more. “I don’t have the answers to everything, but I like us. I want that...I at least want to see
what it is before we let it go.”
I was a heavy heart to carry but, he never let me down.
When he held me in his arms my feet never touched the ground.
The first time meeting her and Eri had successfully commandeered Zori's schedule with an "invitation" to the Boardwalk that he was pretty sure wasn't
up for discussion. Leaning back on the lounge, he grinned at Fumie's reaction to her daughter's boldness and he wondered if she saw the same boldness
in herself. Like he'd told her before, it was a blessing to see yourself in your children, something that Zori hadn't been able to witness yet. The
love and admiration in Fumie's eyes lingered as she spoke about Eri jokingly, but with pride, a sigh bringing a short silence between them. Eri's
departure meant that it was just Fumie and him now. They were alone, which meant no more speaking in code. Total transparency.
I want us. Zori focused on those words, the only words that stuck out with what she'd said. She wanted...them. Not only him. Biting his lip,
he felt his back stiffen against the lounge. It wasn't her words that made him uncomfortable. It was what they meant. That somehow, Fumie wanted them.
She wanted what Zori thought about during meditation and silent moments. She wanted what Zori knew was only reserved for wishes, not for wants.
Because them wasn't happening. How could it? She was married...and Zori wasn't. If the situation had been different between them, if she'd been the
single one sitting at the table with him at the dinner at Spago, they wouldn't have been stuck in this cycle of things they couldn't have, returning
back to them like something could change. Like something could be different. Nothing was different. The only way that it could be different, Zori
didn't even want to think. He knew what splitting a family meant. Divorce. Anger. Resentment. All Zori could do was look at the healthy, brilliant
child that Shemar and Fumie had raised. The hell would happen to Eri if Zori even thought about giving Fumie what she wanted? He'd seen children with
separated and divorced parents, some of them even training under him at the gym. He couldn't give Eri and her brother that future.
"Us? How would we do that?" He questioned Fumie, his head turning to her. He sat up a bit as their eyes connected. "It can't be just us...not when
you've already got an 'us'. What about Shemar? The kids?" Zori hated to physically say Shemar's name, thoughts being nearly enough. Saying her
husband's name made him even more present, even more real.
"I couldn't do that to your kids..."
"The greatest wisdom is seeing through appearances."
How do we do that? That was the golden question wasn’t it? How did they do “us” like she wanted them to? She’d told him she didn’t
have all of the answers and that was one of the ones she was still trying to figure out. She didn’t know what she was asking specifically, she just
wondered what they could be...if they could be more. Because Zori was more than a friend to her, whether he knew it or not. Fumie had already trusted
him with more of her life than she had anyone. He knew some of her dreams, he knew (very little) about her issues with Shemar...Zori was a
confidant to her and he was turning into more the more time they spent together. If he wanted that to change he would have to stop seeing her. Was he
willing to do that though? Obviously something brought him here. She’d never given him the address, but here he was. Unannounced and risking quite a
bit. He felt something too…
It can’t just be us...She knew that! She wasn’t delusional, she was just...desperate. She heard herself sigh as she admitted that to
herself. She was desperate for a life that didn’t involve Shemar at any point. She was desperate to escape to a world where she had meaning to
someone, where she mattered, where she was valued. Zori was that world for her. Didn’t he get that? Of course he didn’t. Why would he didn’t
know her. He barely knew anything real about her outside of the things she had said in anger at the gym that day...That fact became even more apparent
as he asked what her request meant for Shemar. For her kids.
Fumie couldn’t help the smile that reached her lips. She had enough control not to laugh though. The mere thought of her kids having a problem with
getting away from their father was honestly laughable. Koi could barely stand to look at him now and Eri was afraid of Shemar. Neither of her kids
would be upset by the divorce of their parents. Because that was what the two of them were dancing around. Divorce. It was the only option if
Fumie’s exploration lead to something real. Something real…She hadn’t really allowed herself to think of this like that, but that’s
what her relationship with Zori was. It was a shot. A chance to have something real with someone.
“You’re doing it again.” her smile hadn’t faltered as he finished. He was making assumptions. She couldn’t blame him for that, because Fumie
prided herself on the front she put up for the public. On the outside looking in her family was perfect. Zori had no idea… “Don’t assume you
would be doing something to my kids. I think about my kids every second of everyday.” That was true. And she was sure her kids would be
nothing but supportive of Fumie leaving their father.
“We don’t have to get married tomorrow Zo…” Fumie shrugged a little, her smile leaving her so that he knew she was serious. “I just want us
to get to know one another...I mean really know…” No more of this surface bullshit.
She wanted “us”, with him.
I was a heavy heart to carry but, he never let me down.
When he held me in his arms my feet never touched the ground.
The more Zori thought about Fumie, the more real the situation became. Fumie was asking for an "us" with him. After years of it just being "Zori",
more shit heavy relationships than he could even count and more drama than he wanted, he finally had someone asking for just...him. But as usual, any
situation he found himself in came with stipulations and his one happened to be a husband. A family that was already intact. Normal just wasn't going
to be his thing, was it? He fought back a chuckle in the short silence while Fumie thought through his questions. If he had to be honest, he'd given
up the idea of "normal" a long time ago. Hell, what was normal? If a faceless daddy, a childhood in the streets and being the man of his house since
birth was normal now, then he was right on track. But Zori doubted that. Strongly. Through all of the abnormal, he never stopped to think about how
unfair or how messed up his situation was. He just...handled it. Would he do that now? Even though the situation was morally different and difficult.
Fumie. Her family. Her prior obligations that didn't have a damn thing to do with Zori. How was any of this...right? If his momma had any
inkling of the mess running through his brain, she would've beat him. Because nothing was more important than family and respecting the sanctity of it
to her. Nothing. He wished it were that simple for him...
You're doing it again. Zori hadn't noticed that his gaze had shifted beyond Fumie, back to the towering house. With its housekeeper that
answered the front door, the pool house that looked about as big, if not bigger than his spot, the gate outside of the house...all things that Zori
would probably never be able to give her. He was a simple man with very limited needs and he didn't know if Fumie would even be able to live a life
she wasn't accustomed to. Would she even give all of it up? When being with Zori got old and whatever life she was trying to live through being with
him wasn't interesting anymore, what would happen?
"Doing what?" He asked, her answer coming as quickly as his question. Assuming. Okay, he could agree with that. He had been. Everything that
he saw and heard, he took it for face value, even though he knew that he hadn't seen more than a piece of who Fumie really was. What her family really
was... It was the same with her. Fumie knew about where he came from and the surface facts he let her see, but she knew nothing about him. His life in
Oregon, the jobs he had to take just to be who he was now...his childhood. That was his doing, though. Putting up a block between them and only
letting the superficial come through to avoid...what happened anyway. He couldn't help but smirk at his thoughts. He could have done all of the
preventing that he wanted to, but something told him they would've ended up on the mat in the sparring room anyway.
"Let me get this straight..." He clasped his hands together, his eyes narrowing. "You're asking me to date a married woman? Because getting to know
you...seeing where things go...that's what that means." For once, Zori just laid it out the way it was. The harshness of it. He would be spending his
time, sharing himself with, getting to know a married woman. It was a gamble...a scary one. What if he said "yes" and they started to get to know each
other. And Zori, being who he was, fell as hard as he always did when he felt the way he knew he was beginning to about Fumie...but she didn't. And
the triviality of "them" wore off and she chose her kids...her marriage? What did that mean for him?
"I like you, Fumie..." He stated plainly, looking at her as he spoke. "...more than I honestly should. But..." He shook his head, breaking their gaze
on each other.
"I'll be here for you...whenever you need me. I promise you that." He took a breath to ready the words he knew he had to say. "Anything more than
that? As long as you're wearing that ring on that finger? Nah, mama...I can't."
"The greatest wisdom is seeing through appearances."
She knew she sounded completely nuts. She was more than 15 years married and asking another man to spend time with her in the hopes of it becoming
something more. It sounded crazy, but Fumie knew it wasn’t really. If Zori really knew Shemar, if he knew what her life with him was like...not
everything that sparkled was diamonds and her relationship with Shemar had turned from sugar to shit a long time ago. Fumie wanted to leave him.
She’d tried countless times, but somehow she always ended up staying. More often than not he would threaten her with her children and force her into
submission. Oh the really shitty days there were thinly veiled threats to her life. Why he wanted to keep her around when both of them were miserable
was beyond her understanding, but here they both were...for now. She was working on changing that now that she knew Zori.
You’re asking me to date a married woman? What was with the labels? Why did they have to call it anything? She liked him, he liked her.
Couldn’t they just spend time together? That’s usually what people who got along did. “Come on Zo-,” she sighed, her hand reaching out to
touch him for the first time since his arrival. It rested atop his as she kept speaking, “don’t label it. Just...just go with it. Can’t we just
try?” That was all she was really asking. To explore what this was. She just wanted to try things out; see what happened...was that too much?
Apparently. He broke his gaze on her, pulling his hand away as he turned her down in so many words. He couldn’t deal with the ring...And once again,
Shemar was taking from her, hoping to leave her as miserable and alone and she tried to stop everyone from seeing she was...Everything inside of Fumie
wanted to pull that fucking ring off of her finger and pitch it in the pool. This marriage didn’t mean shit to her! It didn’t mean shit to anyone
that was actually in it! It only meant something to Zori...but now wasn’t the time to tell him that. As desperate as she was, she didn’t want him
to know that.
“Okay-,” she said it simply, a nod confirming her words. He was a good man. She wasn’t going to push him into doing something he knew was
wrong...but he also wasn’t saying he wanted to stop seeing her...and that had ended up in a…pleasurable place for the both of them
before.
I was a heavy heart to carry but, he never let me down.
When he held me in his arms my feet never touched the ground.
Okay. Zori looked up again, his eyes meeting Fumie's face, her eyes reading something other than what he'd been expecting after just having
told a woman he all but fully slept with in his sparring room that he thought it was better that they just "be friends". She nodded, her face calm
and...understanding. She got where he was coming from and...she wasn't arguing with him. He smirked a little as they sat for a moment, watching each
other and he couldn't help but feel like they'd...done this before. Him, telling her what he wouldn't do, her agreeing to it after telling him what
she wanted...only to end up doing exactly the opposite and something was telling him that this time, it wouldn't be any different. And even with
knowing that, he still couldn't end whatever it was he was forming with Fumie. He was hoping a friendship was building and they could put the way that
they were both feeling about each other behind them. Because their training session weren't only about keeping her healthy and distracted...they were
about keeping her happy. Taking all the mess in her life that weighed her down and putting it aside for just a moment. He wanted to be her safe
place...more than anything.
"Okay..." He said, his smirk slipping into a smile as he stood from his lounge chair, looking down at her as he picked his car keys up from where he'd
placed them on the chair beside him.
"...guess I'd better get going." He didn't want to go. But he knew that if he stayed, things would get awkward. And telling a female, whether she was
okay with it or not, that you didn't want to date her seemed like a good place to take his leave. "You and Eri have a date anyway..."
"Nope, Zo..." A soft, authoritative voice behind him chimed in as he spoke. He looked over his shoulder, watching Eri descend the stairs from the
kitchen as she walked back towards them. She stopped at the foot of the stairs, wearing a face very much like her mother's.
"...you mean WE have a date." She corrected him, her lips pursed enough to tell him he better not fight her on the matter.
Zori chuckled and looked down at Fumie, shrugging as held his hand out to her.
"You heard your daughter." Another chuckle escaped him as Fumie sighed, grabbing his hand, smiling at him as she stood.
"The greatest wisdom is seeing through appearances."
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