"Miyu! You're back!" She was loud, she could hear how loud she was. Devyn sushed herself as Miyu did. The last thing they needed was to be hassled by
campus police over a little booze. What did age matter? Alex didn't seem to care. What was he a senior? Junior? Hell, 18 was legal. Legal for
everything. Gah, why couldn't they just go back inside? Devyn was fine, really she was. She just needed another drink and to find her new friend
again. She was happy with him. She wasn't happy talking to Koi, letting him tell her how much she didn't matter, telling her...what now?
Devyn's phone buzzed in her hand and kind of in Miyu's as she pulled her back up to her feet. Devyn waivered on the spot, bracing herself against the
car again as Miyu asked who was texting her. "Him." Devyn said simply. Miyu knew him. It sure as hell wasn't who it should have been, "I
wanna talk to Alex more, Mi." Miyu looked at her confused as she took the phone away from her, the drink making Devyn too slow to stop her. "Hey!
Don't-" She reached for the phone, but Miyu easily evaded her, one hand holding her against the car as the other scrolled through her recent messages.
Un-fucking-believable.
She sounded disappointed. Devyn frowned at that sound as she watched Miyu send a message back. "Don't be mean Mi. I've been being nice."
Quote:
A new friend. Just like you WERE. I let him lick my...oops. Aren't we not together? You're not my man.
Goodnight koi.
I wasn't mean, baby. Get in the car. Miyu was such a good friend.
I'm taking my time.
I'm doing it right.
Self-Love. Self-Care. Selfish.
Wait. Who...the fuck...was Alex? Koi stared at the message, his mind running through names that he'd heard Devyn mention in the past. The name didn't
match any name in his memory. Not that he tried to remember her ex's or the niggas that hollered in the past. He just...who the fuck was this "Alex"
cat? It wasn't that he cared. Shit, he couldn't have cared less. What she was doing now was her business, especially now that Koi wasn't taking up her
time...and she wasn't taking up his...because she could've been damn sure that his business was his business. Hell, maybe she'd luck up and get what
she'd been looking for in Koi for so long now that he was out the way. Maybe "Alex" could give that to her.
Shrugging, he thought to lock his phone. Except that he couldn't, a return message from Devyn still not hitting his phone. Scratching his curls, he
turned the phone over in his hand, the status of his "no new messages" not changing. Why did he even care?! No really. Why the hell did he care if
Devyn decided to go and find someone that could be the boyfriend that Koi refused to be? Shit, he was happy for her and shit. Maybe she'd take her
drunk ass to "Alex" bed instead of begging Koi to take her to his. Koi rolled his eyes at the thought, his apathy sitting weird on his stomach.
Whatever...she could fuck the entire populace of King's and Koi wouldn't...
Bzzzzz!
Koi's hand moved so fast to look at the screen of his phone that it nearly slipped out of his fingers and smacked him in his damn face. He unlocked
the screen, his eyes reading the fucking paragraph she'd written...his teeth gritting by the time he'd finished. He smirked at what he'd read, his
heart noticeably speeding in his chest...his cheeks flushing. He was a friend, huh. Okay... Good for her. Maybe that nigga could give her the
end she wanted. A title. Wack ass dick. A boring ass fucking life. A white picket fence or some shit.
"FUCK!" The word exploded from his chest, his phone hitting the far corner of the room where he'd thrown it, the screen surely shattering. His head
buzzed with angry thoughts, wondering why he was even mad...why he was even bothered by her life anymore. Why he even cared when she would finally
have a chance to really be happy.
It was only Tuesday and he was already having a good ass week. His mom's birthday had been so much more bearable with Taylor there and he'd spent a
good portion of his weekend with her too. He'd spent Monday dodging questions about who she was and where they disappeared to after the party, but
even that hadn't been too bad. Even better, Devyn had called him Monday night. Yes. She hit him up first. Sure, she was obviously drunk off her ass,
calling him baby and asking him why he wasn't out with her late as hell on a Monday night, but she'd still been the first to call...Koi had her fucked
up for real. Derrick had peeped her at school the last few days since the blow up, half dead hungover every damn day. Why did she even give a damn?
Koi wasn't all that. Some shit he'd been proving all week too. His moody ass only went to class and practice lately, but he was equal parts annoying
and angry no matter when Derrick saw him...but fuck Koi. It was Tuesday and Devyn was actually here. In his house. In his kitchen. With him.
And they'd been vibing all day. She'd gotten up with him at lunch, apologizing for her late night call and asking him if they could chill later. As
bad as he'd wanted to ask her if she was still drunk, he wasn't questioning his blessings. He told her yeah and asked if she wanted to come over, to
his surprise her answer had been yeah and here they were. "Come on Dev, I promise this is some shit you never tasted before in your life." Derrick
held the spoon to her mouth and waited for her to partake. Spaghetti sauce. If it was one thing he did well it was spaghetti and Dev was staying for
dinner...and dessert. Both his parents we at some conference off the island and his little brother was an easy fix as soon as Devyn said yes, sending
him off to a friend's house for the night. It was he and Dev for the night and it couldn't have been a more perfect day. Well...he thought that before
he heard the moan Dev let out as she tasted his sauce. Damn...Everything was going his way today. Everything. And that shit wasn't done yet.
He had some shit for the Kidd. Today was the day he was cuffing Devyn and Koi would know the exact second it happened. Devyn had been here for about
three hours already and she had been pretty into it the whole time. Into him. She was laughing at all his jokes, joking back with him,
taking every chance she could to touch him. If he hadn't known better, he would have guessed Devyn came over here to get the pipe, her usual cut offs
giving just a peek at the ass. He didn't know what was going on but again, no questions. All that mattered was Derrick finally getting time in with
his future and her past knowing about it.
Derrick had already decided how the Kidd would get told. Devyn would tell him. It was as simple as getting his hands on her phone and giving the Kidd
a quick "butt dial". And with how close he had been letting her get, it had been more than easy. Derrick had seen her unlock it too many times to hit
up Miyu. He had been bragging about his cooking skills knowing she would ask him to prove it and when the time came she left her phone unattended to
come down to the kitchen. He seized an opportunity and picked it up. And now that she was moaning and shit in the kitchen? It was about to go down.
Derrick turned his back to Devyn, putting the spoon back in the pot, pretending to tend to the stove and producing her phone. He was careful to keep
it out of her sight as he unlocked it and dialed.
"So, Dev...-" he paused, turning back to face her and coming to stand in front of where she leaned against the kitchen island. Resting his hands on
either side of her Derrick slid the phone behind her back, the space between them becoming inches. "Not that I'm complaining at all but...what you
doing here?"
"I mean...-" she looked away from him, her body drawing closer to his, "I was just trying to spend a little time with the homie..." He was dreaming.
He had to be with how flirty her tone was and the look she was giving when her eyes connected again. The invite.
"So..." Koi's eyes opened at the sound of Dhonny's voice breaking the silence in his dimly lit bedroom. To be honest, Koi had almost forgotten that
his best friend was still in the room, lounging on his couch where he'd been for the pass hour. What he'd been doing during that hour? Koi didn't
know. And he didn't give a fuck...because whether Dhonny stayed or whether he left, Koi wouldn't have noticed it anyway. Between his closed eyes and
the repetitive finger rolls he'd been doing in the air with the basketball in his hand, laying on his back without thoughts running through his head
was the only thing he was concentrating on. And it had been working, the thoughts of technique filling the space between his ears and that was good.
It was perfect. It was better than the shit that had been running through his mind on repeat for the past few days. The repetitive was keeping him
busy. School, practice, homework, finger rolls, vicodin, sleep, sleep, sleep...sleep. There was other shit in the spaces between, but Koi
didn't register it. Like Dhonny's words...
"...are we just going sit in your fucking dark room all afternoon or, I don't know, not?" Dhonny spoke again and silence followed his question, Koi's
moment of hesitation going right back into quiet finger rolls.
"Koi...dude, come on." Koi heard the couch creak as Dhonny moved from it, his bare feet padding across Koi's floor, arriving at the bed, grabbing the
ball...breaking the repetition.
"Give it back." Koi muttered, his hand lazily reaching for the ball that Dhonny had taken from him. He sighed as Dhonny held the ball out of his
reach, sitting up and staring his best friend in the face, preparing himself mentally for the rant about his behavior that Dhonny was defintely about
to break into. Koi could almost map where the conversation was about to go. Dhonny would tell Koi to go ahead and call...her. And Koi would tell
Dhonny to mind his fucking business and swallow his fucking dick. They'd go back and forth about it for a little while and Dhonny would get bored and
go back to the fucking couch and the silence would settle again. They'd done that routine more than Koi really wanted to and Dhonny never gave up.
Mostly because he thought there was some way to fix the situation between Koi and Devyn. That just like before, they could talk it out and end this.
But the situation wasn't the same. This time, it was different. This time it was over.
"Lemme make it real simple for you. No. To whatever you're going to say. Just no." Koi said, staring at Dhonny with dull eyes. He rubbed his eye with
his palm as Dhonny grimaced, turning away from him only to return with Koi's phone in his hand. New phone #3, actually considering he'd
broken the two previous ones...over her. He'd broken them because of her. Once, when he'd heard about "Alex". Twice, when he found the new pictures
she'd posted to instagram...
"Call Devyn, Kidd. Just call her." Dhonny said, holding the phone out to Koi, who only shook his head in reply. "Don't make me call her." That threat
from only received a shrug as Koi stared Dhonny down. There wasn't anything to care about anymore. Dhonny could've put both of them in the room
together and there still wouldn't have been...
Almost like she'd heard her name, the face of the phone that Dhonny still held in his hands illuminated, Devyn's picture flashing on the screen as
Koi still hadn't deleted her out of his contacts. There was no reason to really have her there, right? Aside from the occasional drunken text, there
wasn't...until now, her call still waiting to be picked up as Dhonny continued to hold out the phone, looking at Koi expectantly.
Koi sighed again, snatching the hand out of Dhonny's hand and swiping the face of the phone to accept the call.
"Devyn, what the fuck do you..." Koi's words went silent as he heard the voices on the other end...
What was she doing? What was she doing here? Like this? With him? Again she found herself thinking it as Derrick returned to his pots and started
doing whatever he had been to make that shade taste so damn good. She wasn't gonna fake, she'd been here for a while now and she hadn't completely
hated her time with him. Once you got him by himself and he wasn't begging for attention, Derrick was bearable. Hell, he was actually pretty cool to
be around. They had been upstairs, shooting the shit in his room while Devyn worked up the courage to do what she'd come here to do, but after hearing
so much about how he could fuck it up in the kitchen, she had to see what all the hype was about. So now they were down here shooting the shit while
Devyn still searched for the audacity to do what she came here to do...She was going to sleep with him.
She'd decided it last night. Miyu, who really hadn't left her side since the whole thing with Koi, did a poor job of hiding her phone from her and in
her drunken stupor, she'd called Derrick's phone. She didn't remember doing so the next day but what she did remember was thinking to herself that if
she ever did fuck Derrick it would probably just be to piss off Koi...or maybe she'd said it out loud and that had been Miyu's sign that it was time
to get her home...whatever. She didn't remember; the point was, she hadn't been able to get the thought out of her head since waking up that morning
and somehow, without really thinking about it, she'd put into motion a plan to piss Koi smooth off. She'd seen Derrick at lunch and apologized for
calling him the night before and kind of asked him to chill later. She didn't think that he'd ask what she was doing after school, but here she was.
And she still couldn't stop thinking about how much fucking Derrick would piss off Koi.
Fuck! She didn't want to care what he fucking thought! She just wanted to move the hell on with her life and get over him...but she was stuck. On him.
On the them that never was...God. What was she doing here? I was just trying to spend some time with the homie...lies. She knew what she was
doing here. She was just so conflicted about it. Nothing in her wanted to sleep with Derrick. She could only imagine how clingy he'd be after it was
over and she was highly confident that his stroke game was terrible. She didn't want to do this...but she did. But...fuck! She hated Koi Kidd!
"Time with the homie, huh?" He sounded skeptical and he should have. Devyn was using him as a means to an end and she probably would have felt worse
about it if she didn't know Derrick had been trying to get in her pants since meeting her. This was going to be the best day of his life and used or
not he was coming out on top. Ignoring her thoughts, Devyn giggled a little, her hand coming to play at the collar of his v-neck.
"You don't believe me?" Her eyes connected with his, a playful pout on her lips. "I had a little free time. I wanted to chill with you...get into some
shit."
"What kinda shit we talking?" His hands moved to the small of her back, pulling her even closer, their hips meeting. "Or are we not talking at all?"
It wasn't right. It didn't feel right. But she was letting it happen. She watched Derrick lean in, his lips kissing her neck once, the second kiss
coming slowly as he gauged her reaction. She wasn't going to stop him.
Devyn let out a soft moan of encouragement. She was doing this. It didn't feel right, but she was finally giving Derrick the kind of attention he
wanted. She wanted this...but she didn't...but she...ugh! Fuck Koi Kidd!
I'm taking my time.
I'm doing it right.
Self-Love. Self-Care. Selfish.
What the hell? Koi's eyes narrowed as he listened to the voices on the other line. One of them was obviously Devyn's, the flirty laugh she'd
always used when she was with Koi coming in clearly over the line. And then, there was a second voice. A nigga's voice. Although it wasn't hard to
figure out either. It was familiar, making Koi's face crumple in confusion as soon as he heard it. It was Derrick. And the shit just didn't
compute because what the fuck was Devyn doing with Derrick? Why were they even in the same space? Devyn spent no time around Derrick when they
were...whatever the hell they ended up being. Koi didn't know it for sure, but he was pretty sure she hated the kid, her comments always snide when it
came to him. And And her eyes seemed to roll extra hard whenever he made an appearance. Knowing the facts, then WHY was she with him? And why the hell
was she using THAT laugh with him? Not that Koi was the owner of her laughs or some crazy shit like that as he was pretty sure "Alex" and the other
niggas that had been taking up her time lately were getting the same giggle from her...and more. She was using it with Derrick now? That shit was as
off as Wiz swearing off bud. It just didn't happen. I would never happen...except, it was happening now.
"Kidd, wha-" Koi shook his head quickly, his finger going to his lips in a silent "shhh" as Dhonny began to speak, his eyes on Koi as soon as he'd
answered Devyn's call. The confusion showed up on Dhonny's face as he backed up to the couch and took a seat, thankfully following directions. Koi put
the phone down on his bed, muted it and pressed the speaker button so that Dhonny could hear too. Devyn and Derrick's voice amplified in the silence
of the room and Dhonny's eyes widened as soon as he heard their voices together. Even Dhonny knew...
No. It was just some big ass misunderstanding. Devyn didn't DO Derrick. She just didn't. According to her, he was and would always be a wack nigga and
Devyn didn't go for wackness. She avoided the shit, actually. Especially when Derrick thirsted over her. Of course he thirsted over her. She was a bad
bitch. But Devyn never gave a fuck. She never had fucks to give. So, why now? That was the point, there was no "now". Devyn was just over his house
because he'd BEGGED the shit out of her, once again, for attention. She'd kick it over there for a couple of minutes and get the hell out of there
before the nigga started sniffin' for her panties like he usually did. Devyn wasn't stupid. And she wasn't...
I wanted to chill with you...get into some shit... Excuse him? Koi and Dhonny's eyes met at the same time, Dhonny mouthing "what the fuck"
before Koi could even get around to saying the words. What the fuck did she MEAN "some shit"? What was that about!? What. The Fuck. Was THAT
about!?
...or are we not talking at all... The mixture of confusion and surprise melted from Koi's face as he heard Derrick's voice. He felt the burn
in his cheeks. It spread to his ears and down to his neck. His heart thudded heavily in his chest...and he swore it stopped. The sound of lips kissing
skin broke the silence after Derrick's words...and then a soft moan. Devyn's moan.
"Kidd..." Dhonny's voice sounded softly through the heavy silence. "Koi? Calm down, dude. Just...be chill." What the fuck was he talking about? Koi
was chill. He was fine...until he looked down at his hands and saw them...clenched and shaking.
"There's gotta be a...reason behind...shit." Dhonny's words faded into silence as he watched Koi rise from the bed.
He knew as soon as he heard her moan that he was fucking in there. He honestly couldn't believe this was happening...well he could, but he couldn't
believe how easy it had been. Not that Dev was a ho or no shit like that, they knew one another, it was just...he'd waited forever for her to wise up
and figure out who she needed to be fucking with. Now that she had, it just seemed like they were just...clicking. He knew they would though. He'd
known since meeting Devyn that the two of them were good for each other, great even. Derrick just needed a chance to prove it to her. And now that she
was giving it to him, he wasn't going to chance fucking it up. Dev was out to be touched and Derrick would happily oblige her. Devyn tilted her head
back as he continued to kiss her neck, his kisses getting lower as his hands did, giving her ass a quick squeeze before his hands met her hips, easily
picking her up and setting her on the counter. Devyn's legs wrapped around his waist, as one of her hands met the back of his head egging him on. This
had to be what heaven felt like.
And fuck, her skin tasted exactly like he'd imagined. He wanted to put his lips on every part of her and tonight that was something that was 100%
possible. And something he actually didn't want the Kidd being any part of. He knew what the fuck it was by now and things had changed. Devyn's moans
were for him now...Not that Koi had ever had the pleasure. Wrapping one arm around her waist, Derrick kept his lips busy as his free hand ended the
call on the phone behind Devyn's back. Alone at last.
His hands played at the hem of her shirt, his fingers grazing her skin as she pushed her top up slow. She squirmed beneath him, the anticipation
killing her too. Fucking right.Foreplay was his forte. She was in for a treat tonight. Derrick. Fuckkkkkk. His name on her lips in
this moment was all he ever wanted to hear for the rest of his fucking life. And she said it again. Derrick, stop...Wait. What? He could feel
Devyn pulling away from him and he sure as hell hated what that felt like. He took his hands from her, knowing the kind of two-piece Dev gave guys who
didn't follow directions when it came to touching her. His eyes met hers and...what the fuck had she missed?! Why was she on the verge of tears?
"Devyn, what?" his tone was soft and full of confusion. What the fuck was going on right now? Literal seconds ago, she was hella into this.
"I'm sorry, D. I can't-," She pushed him from between her thighs, her feet meeting the floor again and immediately moving to get out of the kitchen.
The fuck? No. They weren't leaving it at "I can't". Derrick's hand caught her wrist on a backswing as she moved past him. He turned to face her. His
face must have been asking her to explain because his mouth didn't have to. "Derrick, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have come here in the first place.
Just because he-."
"No." Derrick stopped her words. His irritation flaring at the mere mention of "he". "Fuck no. Do not make this about him, Devyn." This shit had
nothing to do with fucking Koi Kidd and she would not stand in front of him and tell him that she was stuck on a nigga she was never with in the first
place. "Not with all the shit he's done to you. The shit he did with Taylor." No. Shit was not going down like this. He would not be cockblocked by
the Kidd and HE WASN'T EVEN FUCKING HERE! Devyn hadn't snatched her hand away from his yet, but there was a look in her eye that was telling him if
she had to, he wouldn't like what happened after. He let her go, his hands going up in surrender.
"This isn't about the sex Devyn. Do or don't and it's fine, but don't tell me no because of Koi. Don't put your fucking life on hold for this dude
again-" Harsh truth in 3...2- "Don't tell me you're not staying because of some addict and the broke bitch he was using to fuck you over." So harsh
half truth...and a little more truth than he meant to mention. He hadn't meant to spit venom on Taylor. She was a good girl who did what he'd asked
her to and he was turning her and her family situation into collateral damage. It wasn't right. None of it was right...and none of it was working.
Devyn didn't even answer him. She turned her back and left.
KIDD! Calm the fu-CALM THE FUCK DOWN!!! Dhonny held onto Koi, his arms wrapped around his boy, Koi's hands tearing at his at him. They'd been
at it for a while, Koi fighting Dhonny and Dhonny doing his best to restrain him. It was for his own good, Dhonny knew that to be true. If he let Koi
go, if he'd let him do what he wanted to do, Dhonny would never forgive himself. The second Koi moved towards his dresser to get his car keys, Dhonny
didn't hesitate to stop him. Not because he didn't think Koi's anger was right or justified. Hell, it was more than justified. No, his boy was doing
it for all the wrong reasons. What was the purpose of this? All the anger? His boy was nearly foaming at the damn mouth, curse words that Dhonny
hadn't even heard grouped together falling from his mouth...over a girl he'd put down. "Put down" wasn't really even the right phrase to use. Koi had
decimated her. He'd taken every part of Devyn that made her her and crushed it when he'd said the words he'd said to her in the hallway. Dhonny had
heard it all...maybe not firsthand, but he'd found out about it later. Not from Koi, no. From Devyn as he dried the tears that she shouldn't have been
crying in the first place. All because of what Koi had done to her. And not that Dhonny really agreed with Devyn's actions. He never condoned get
backs and revenge. The shit was like poison, working its way into cracks in the situation until it ruined the entire thing and it all came falling
down. And he certainly didn't approve of her being anywhere near a fork tongued asshole like Derrick, but he had to admit it. Koi deserved this. Every
moment of it.
"For the last fucking time...chi-" He warned calmly, his face two inches away from Koi's swinging fist, curses words still flying. Oh! It was like
that? Fine. Dhonny's arm moved, wrapping around Koi's neck, his other arm moving beneath Koi's arm pit, locking him into a sleeper hold.
Dhonny lowered him to the floor, his arm tightening as he spoke.
"STOP." He jerked Koi, shaking his head at his boy's need to fight him. "I said STOP. Damn!" He was such a stubborn ass! Which was half of what got
him in this fucked up mess! When Koi had his mind on something, he kept his mind on it and nothing could move him off of it. Like the REAL reason
behind his fucked up behavior. Every girl. EVERY FUCKING GIRL who's heart he'd broken, who he hit and quit, who he didn't see a future with because of
what he REFUSED TO NOT believe.
"All this SHIT you doin' right now. And for what!? You don't want her, right!?" Dhonny hit a nerve, because as soon as he said those words, Koi's body
stopped thrashing. He stopped fighting. If Dhonny didn't feel his thudding heart against his arm, he would've thought he'd killed the kid.
"Yeah, that's what I said..." Dhonny's words were harsh. "...you don't want her! You said you didn't. You even told her you didn't! So what the fuck
are the antics for, Kidd? What're they for? I want you to stop acting like the ass you've been for a fucking entire WEEK and just...THINK. What is
THIS for?" Dhonny felt himself going to the place he tried to avoid with Koi, mostly because The Kidd hated it. The place where he told the TRUTH. The
unadulterated, bitter, sour tasting truth. The shit that was painful to hear, but necessary. And right now, it was necessary. Because Dhonny was tired
of it. He was tired of watching two people that needed each other the most put each other down like they didn't care. Like what was happening between
them didn't matter...because it did. Dhonny saw so much when he looked at Koi and Devyn. They were energy when they were together. Red, brilliant, hot
energy. There was so much passion there, but much more than that...there was the thing that Koi was avoiding because he felt it in every cell. Dhonny
knew it. He loved her...
"Why do ANY of this if Devyn isn't who you want. If you don't DO relationships and you just want to be alone and miserable as fuck, then let Derrick
HAVE HER." With everything that Dhonny said, he didn't mean that. He didn't want Koi to ever leave Devyn to be with someone as malicious and
manipulative as Derrick Davidson. But if it was going to get the reaction that it was getting now, Dhonny would say it. Koi's hand reached up to pull
Dhonny's hand away again and Dhonny shook it away.
"No, listen to me. If you don't fucking want her. Let...her...go." He said again, holding on tighter. "OR STOP denying yourself! Stop ignoring how you
feel. Because if you're going to go down the same fucked up path that your father went down, you don't fuckin' deserve her..." With those words,
Dhonny let Koi go, pushing him away roughly. He huffed, just noticing how much energy he'd expelled on Koi. He sat with his legs splayed out in front
of him, Koi sitting next to him.
"...but you're not HIM. You're not Shemar, man. You've got so much in you that you can't even see because you're too busy trying to find your Pops in
you. He's not there. You're pure light, man. No matter what you do because you THINK you've gotta do it...you're not your father, Kidd. Stop trying to
be something you're not..." There was silence after it all. Dhonny sitting next to Koi, his hand finding his boy's shoulder...patting it for a moment
before he just...left it there. So Koi would know he was there. So Koi would know he wasn't alone. Dhonny wasn't going to leave him, though. Koi
wouldn't have his tears as his only company that night.
your body's like art i ain't even thought up yet...
"All right, young man. I'm headed out..." Koi looked up from his Econ text, his attention focusing on Zori's voice in the hallway of his dorm room. He
closed the book, sliding off the bed and meeting the plush, carpeted floor in his socked feet...which fucking hurt. And that was crazy because no
matter how many suicides his captain made the team power through or how many times they ran plays, Zori's meditation runs were always worse. Koi liked
to think that pain was just the leftovers of whatever drama he'd been carrying before the run leaving his body. The truth was he'd run over four miles
with Zori at 6am that morning and the terrain was always a killer. He'd go with the one that made him feel better about the shit that'd happened the
night before. That all the anger, jealous...shit...everything he'd felt since seeing Devyn at Se7en...was leaving him. Was seeping out of him. Was
moving out of him like...what the fuck did Zori say during their meditation? Whatever, he just wanted to let go. Because...
"Koi?" Zori's deep voice called his name again, showing up in the doorway of his room. Even though Zori really didn't have facial expression, he could
tell he'd worried him a little when he didn't answer by the look on his face as he stood in the doorway.
"Hey..." Koi said, nodding him into the room. He smiled a little, but it was forced...which he knew Zori could see.
"I'm okay. Just...thinking..." Zori nodded at Koi's words with total understanding. They'd talked about what happened the night before with Devyn
before meditation and...Zori got it. He always got it. The shock of seeing Devyn with someone else. The hurt from realizing that she had moved on, but
the truth in the fact that she deserved to. And the sadness that came with understanding that the door could be closed on them permanently...and Koi
had to accept that reality. It'd been a heavy session, but it'd been freeing. Well, until Koi thought about it again on the way back to the dorm...and
when they'd sat down for breakfast at Busy Bee's...and as he studied while Zori got the groceries his mom bought for Koi and his dorm mates out of the
car.
"I get it...just don't think too hard." Zori clapped his hand on Koi's shoulder. Koi smirked up at him. Simple words, but true enough.
"Alright, groceries from your momma are in the kitchen. Put em' up before they spoil...let's go..." Koi exhaled, his smirk turning into a smile as he
got up from the bed, shaking his head at Zori's outstretched arms. He dapped him up, letting Zori pull him into a tight hug.
"Rumble, young man..." Zori said quietly, his usual words to Koi before leaving him. Zori patted his back twice, firmly before Koi let him go.
"...love you. Keep your head up."
Koi nodded, a whispered "love you too" on his lips as he sat back on his bed, his phone that was lying on his comforter vibrating as he did.
Quote:
Hey, you busy today?
Koi blinked. Then he blinked again. Devyn was texting him. Hm. Of course she was. Not that he'd forgotten how he'd nearly lost his cool at
seeing her and her...new boyfriend. But the fact that she was texting him...instead of him texting her...to apologize.
Quote:
Hey...yeah, i'm just goin to the game tonight. Whats up?
She hadn't expected him to hit her back. At least not so quickly? Fuck! Devyn sighed, her bare feet padding across the floor of her dorm room again as
she began pacing, agonizing over her reply. She had been like this for hours. Things were fine this morning. She woke up at Tre's, they did brunch, on
her, at Two Urban Licks to make up for her being so weird at Se7en and then he dropped her back off at her room. Minna was there for a bit and she
filled Devyn in on her night after Devyn ditched her, which - now that she wasn't drunk she recognized - she never should have done. It started
shitty, but she'd gotten a date with Koi's previously nameless friend, Enzo who'd given her a ride home. Devyn would thank him for that if she ever
saw him again...that was when it started. If she saw Enzo again, she'd probably have to face Koi.
He was back in her head that quick. Minna would have been a welcome distraction, but she had to meet up with a study group so Devyn was left to tackle
her thoughts by herself. She wondered what he'd done after Enzo pulled him away. Did they stay at the thing? Did he go home? Did he drink?
Worse? Fuck! What if seeing her with Tre' fucked up all the work he'd done over the past 6 months? She'd never forgive herself. She wanted to
check on him...but she knew she shouldn't...
She took a nap, seeing as she and Tre' had gotten maybe four hours between finally pulling apart and brunch. She had hoped the nap would clear her
head, but instead it made things worse, her dreams warping her waking thoughts about talking to him and finally making things right...about confessing
what she truly wanted with him...She woke up in a sweat with a headache and the most intense NEED to call Koi.
But she didn't. She was just going to text him. She was going to hit him with a casual "what's up?"...no. That was stupid. They weren't tight like
that. Especially not after last night...or maybe she should act like it hadn't happened? No. She was just going to send a "Hey" and see what he said
back...or maybe she should just be direct and tell him they "needed to talk"...but what if he didn't need to talk? What if she was wrong and
he wasn't even phased by she and Tre'? Was she making a big deal out of nothing? FUCK!
She went back and forth like that for two hours before she settled on
Quote:
Hey, you busy today?
Maybe they could just meet up for a quick chat...if he wanted to. She was going to test the waters and see where his head was and maybe...she didn't
know. She just didn't like feeling like she'd committed a felony last night by being with Tre'. Because she did. She felt guilty as fuck about him
having to watch her with him and she didn't like it at all. Koi was never supposed to see them together and she just wanted to tell him that. She
hadn't meant to hurt him. She wanted him to know...
No more than two minutes passed before he responded. He was going to the game tonight. What's up? Wow. Just what's up, huh? Maybe she was
making a big deal out of nothing...but his hey was followed by an ellipses...was he hesitant about responding? Shit! Why wasn't Minna here to help her
with this? Okay, shit. She needed to respond. If he was being cool, she could be cool too.
Quote:
I just kind of wanted to see you today.
She sent it before she could rethink it. She wanted to do more than see him. She wanted to talk. But she couldn't say that. They both knew that her
wanting to talk never meant anything good and she didn't want him thinking she was...emotional? about...anything? She didn't fucking know!
Devyn sighed, throwing herself back into bed and screaming into her pillows. Why was she like this? She had never been like this with her ex's before.
She just...she didn't know how to be with Koi anymore and it was...ugh. She just hated them like this...
I'm taking my time.
I'm doing it right.
Self-Love. Self-Care. Selfish.
She wanted to see him? Why? And he didn't mean that in an asshole way he just... He didn't know. Maybe he wasn't expecting that after seeing
her with Tre' the night before...which was highly unpleasant considering Tre' was the PM for the line Koi was trying to make and he'd nearly lost his
shit in front of the nigga because he was a jealous dumb ass. He didn't think she'd want to see him. She was with Tre'. She was happy...or at least
she looked happy. It looked good on her. She deserved that. So no, there was no reason why he could figure that Devyn was trying to see
him...unless...she wanted to talk about that night. And Koi wasn't sure he wanted to. Or needed to. They did need to talk, that was true. There was a
shitload of unresolved...stuff between them. And they needed to figure it out...for whatever was on the other side of that mess. But anything dealing
with her and Tre'? No, it was officially none of Koi's business. And he wasn't sure he knew how to say that to her. He would have rathered not say it
at all.
He was confused. Truth was, he didn't know how to reply, his fingers hovering over the phone screen as he leaned back against the pillows on his bed.
One side of him wanted to ask her why they needed to meet up, what they needed to discuss. That side wanted to tell her she didn't owe him an
explanation, that they were cool and he was happy for her and Tre'. But the other side? It wanted to spill every single though he'd had about her
since June that he couldn't express now. That he loved her. That he wanted them again. That she was the only real thing and even though he didn't
deserve her, he wanted her back. So badly. But...that was the opposite of the groundwork that Koi'd been laying since rehab. That was against the
principles of letting go. Letting be. Letting Devyn heal too. The two warring sides of him were still at odds as he typed his reply to her.
Quote:
Sure. U goin to the game? Wanna meet me at halftime?
Shit...wasn't her boyfri-...he meant "Tre'". Wasn't Tre' a drum major? He'd be performing at halftime. Koi didn't want to get in the way of Devyn
supporting him.
Quote:
Unless you want to get up before or after the game. You tell me.
Maybe she shouldn't have said what she said the way she did. She wanted to see him. She threw the 'kind of' in there to make it...lighter? She
guessed. But she didn't know how to say 'Can we meet up to talk about what happened last night?' without just saying it...because she knew they
probably shouldn't. Minna had told her last night to let Koi feel, but she hadn't lied or exaggerated when she told her she didn't know how to do
that. And he'd felt enough right? Enough without her anyway...
This was stupid. She shouldn't have texted him at all. Koi didn't need her to hold his hand through every little thing. If they weren't a thing
anymore, she shouldn't have felt the need to check on him...but she did. And even outside of checking on him, Devyn could admit to herself that she
just wanted to see him, in general. The question was, did he want to see her. He still hadn't responded and she was running out of lives on Candy
Crush waiting for him to...her phone vibrated in her hand, his text popping up on screen.
Going to the game...she hadn't planned on it. Honestly, she'd been to a few games for the social aspect, but she wasn't a football girl. Koi knew
basketball was more her speed if she had to watch something. But she could go. Yeah. Halftime would be fine. Maybe Minna could go with her...she
started to type out her response, when she got another message. Maybe not halftime. You tell me. Well what the hell was that supposed to
mean?!
Devyn hesitated. She wanted more than anything to stop thinking so much about this, but she couldn't. Why was he pulling back on halftime? Where was
she going to meet him if she did before or after? After would be at night. Did she want to meet with him alone at night? She didn't really trust
herself with that. No. No, halftime was good. She could do that...
Quote:
Nah. Halftime is good. I'll hit you when I'm there and we can meet up
Yes. That was good. She was keeping it causal. No need to schedule anything just...cool...So why was she so nervous? And what the fuck would she
wear?!
I'm taking my time.
I'm doing it right.
Self-Love. Self-Care. Selfish.
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