He was being a complete child about everything! The had been here almost an hour and he was still as pissy as he had been when they left the house.
She hadn’t known where she wanted to go when she suggesting leaving, but it came to her on the way through Kapu’aina. Surfside Valley was open and
that was where they were going. She wanted to get away. From the Shore, from his responsibilities, from his anger...she wanted to go back.
Back to the days when they were just kids. They didn’t owe anybody anthing and they just wanted to have a little fun and be together. She was trying
her hardest to walk down memory lane with a smile on her face, but it was getting harder and harder when she was dragging Analu around.
She knew he still wanted an answer to his question and she was going to give it to him, she was, but she just wanted him to relax a little. Enjoy
himself before she pushed more responsibility on top of the responsibility he already had. She just wanted to see him smile a litte.
She stopped walking, turning to face him as her arms fell around his neck. The crowd of kids behind them splitting to pass as she spoke, “Baby,
please don’t be like this now. I want us to have fun-,” her lips pressed to his briefly before she pulled back a little, her eyes meeting his with
a small smile on her lips. “Can you just try, please?”
You must do what you are ordered; for yourself and for your ohana.
The sound of his Chucks scrubbing against the pavement of the Midway could probably be heard all through the amusement park. After the shit that had
gone down in their home, this was where Leah wanted to be? Surrounded by haoles out the ass? With a face permanently set into a scowl, Analu
took in his surroundings. All the blinking lights and sounds, buzzers and screams of delight grated his nerves more than the situation between he and
Leah did. Well, maybe not more. But it added to it, every laugh making him more and more pissed that they had been at this fucking park for an hour
and she still hadn't opened up about anything that had gone on that morning. This place didn't keep him from being surrounded by the dark cloud that
he'd brought with him from the Shore. Not like it use to. When they were little, Surfside use to be a wonderland for he and Maleah. They'd sneak off
with the rest of the kids in their class and come to the park for the fun that the Shore didn't provide. They didn't bring anything from the Shore
with them. None of the customs, none of the rules, nothing. They were just...kids. Maybe that was what Leah wanted to remember by taking them
there.
Sighing loudly, Analu felt the hesitance in Leah's steps as she slowed and turned to him, her eyes searching his and his staring back into hers. She
was disappointed. What the fuck did she expect? They hadn't said more than two words to each other since they'd gotten there and she wanted to know
why he wasn't having fun?
"Leah, are you serious?" Pulling away, clearly not in enough time as she placed a kiss on his lips, he twisted his face from hers. He didn't want to
see her smile because the only thing that their time there stood for, the only thing that park stood for now, was avoidance.
"Oh okay..." He said, taking her hands from his neck. "I'm supposed to have fun avoiding the shit that we still haven't talked about? No
thanks." Again, he stared at her, waiting for her to just stop the bullshit. Stop avoiding the issues and stop stoking his temper.
Yes. This was where she wanted to be. She didn’t care that the place was packed with tourists; it hadn’t bothered them when they were kids and it
shouldn’t have now. Why was he refusing to let go? She couldn’t take all this fucking negativity from--Oh damn, now it was happening to
her. She was getting all upset over his foul mood and it was spreading. By the Gods, if this man didn’t cheer the hell up she might have to kill
him! And her frustration only deepened as he rejected her advances, twisting away from her kiss and pulling away as he spoke. Yes she was serious! She
wanted him to be happy damn it!
Be he was being stubborn, the scowl set permanently to his face as he pulled her arms from his neck. She heaved a frustrated sigh as she took a step
back, putting space between them. This is for you. Not for me. No, she was...she just wanted...he was right. It was for her. As much as she
tried to make it about Lu and trying to make him happy, it wasn’t working, so why were they still here? Because she wanted to stall. She still
hadn’t figured out what she was going to say and she just wasn’t ready. For any of this. Why couldn’t he just get it and give her her time? The
little bit of happiness she needed before she told him about the baby. Damn him!
“So what Analu? What if it is about me right now? You can’t pull yourself out of your own selfishness for just two seconds and at least try to
muster up a smile?” Oh no. She was in one of those moods. Damn hormones were going to get her in more trouble than she was already in. But she did
have a little bit of a point. She knew the pressure he was under, she knew what he was going through and it was always about how she could
make him happy. Couldn’t he let her be happy just this once? “I remember a boy that was willing climb to the top of Nui Mu if I asked, just to see
me smile...”
She let her voice trail off as she remembered 8 year old Analu telling her just that, his arms around her in a comforting hug. She couldn’t
remember the reason she’d been upset, but she knew he was there to make her feel better...Where was he now?
You must do what you are ordered; for yourself and for your ohana.
She was right. It was about her. That moment was completely about Leah. After an entire lifetime of it being about the tribe and about Analu, it was
about her now. Analu stared at her after her words, feeling a stinging guilt well up inside of him from the pit of his stomach. It had ALWAYS been
about what he wanted, what was good for him, as one of the Chosen and what was good, in turn, for the tribe. Nothing that Maleah felt or wanted had
ever truly mattered. But for her to admit that she believed that he felt that way, that he had been one to disregard her wishes and her wants, as the
tribe and the Gods had done, it hurt more than he could express. What she wanted had always mattered to him. And that was why
this...silence...frightened him so much. Why when he words wouldn't come, he felt an uneasiness that only the fear of change could explain. What she
wanted, what she felt...what she desired meant the world to him. And now, it seemed like what she wanted wasn't him any longer. That this
trip was only the beginning of the end of them. That his world was beginning to crumble below his feet.
"I..." He began, biting at his cheek the way he did when emotion welled inside of him that he couldn't explain...or display. Lowering his head, his
shoulders slumped. "I have always cared about your happiness, Leah. Always." It hurt. It hurt bad. To hear that she thought he was selfish?
It only did something that he hoped it would not...gave complete light to the way he felt inside. What he knew. All of this running around with the
Pueo, all of the avoiding her, the moodiness with her when she wasn't at fault and the arguments when she'd done nothing to start them. All
of it was his fault and shoving it on her was doing nothing but pushing her farther and farther away from him.
The memory of his own words, as soon as they left Maleah's lips, made him smile sourly. He remembered the day she'd said them. She'd been crying,
completely upset over something. He remembered. It was the day that Jan Hu had called her a "bucktoothed fat ass" during a game of kickball. Analu
almost laughed remembering the name, mostly because he remembered thinking how completely stupid the name Jan had called her was. Because Leah was
none of those things. Even as an eight year old, she'd been nothing short of amazing to him. So, he kept climbing the trails with her. The higher they
got, the more she wanted to turn back as it was forbidden for kids their age to climb the higher trails. But he said he wouldn't. Not until she
stopped frowning because of some stupid cow's jealousy. He would've climbed the entire volcano that day. Just for the frown to erase itself and a
smile to take its place.
"And I remember a girl who never hesitated to tell me everything, no matter how bad...or stupid...or..." He stopped, remembering that day, the anger
in her voice as she repeated Jan's words. And no matter how embarrassing the name had been, Leah opened up to him. She'd always opened up to him. She
was his best friend. Could he even say that anymore?
"Leah." He called her name, walking back to her, closing the gap between them, his hands still by his side. "Just talk to me." He needed her to open
up. Even if the secret she was keeping destroyed them both, he needed her to quell the worry in him. Maybe he was being selfish, but he couldn't take
not knowing his best friend anymore. It was killing him...
Ooh, she hadn’t meant to upset him, she just wanted him to cheer up a little. His pouting was absolutely killing her and she just wanted them to be
happy. Like they were before all of this started. Like they were when they forgot their problems existed and they just existed. Together.
She missed the Analu that kissed her like she was the only woman he would ever love. She missed the Analu that asked silly things like ‘how much do
you think I love you’ and made sure she had everything she could ever want that was within his power. Times had changed. They had changed
and she just wanted to go back. Was that too much to ask? To much to hope for? She was sure it was now that there was a life growing inside her.
Nothing would ever be the same as it was, but she could try to cling to their past at Surfside Valley for just a little longer.
How long exactly, she wasn’t sure. Analu was obviously itching for the answers she wouldn’t give him and his patience was wearing thin. It was
understandable; he deserved to know the truth, but she just couldn’t tell him! If a trip to Surfside was annoying him this much, what would the news
of a baby do to him? She wasn’t ready to handle anything but complete and utter joy and she knew that wouldn’t be the case here...
But she had to say something, a short syllable leaving his lips before he trailed off. He was hiding from her again, his lips twisted to the side as
he bit at the inside of his cheek. Leah had always called it chew on his emotions. She knew how it felt to want to know what was going on; everytime
he did this, she felt the same way. And she knew he cared! She did. She didn’t really mean what she said, she was just angry. She was fine with
things being about Analu most of the time. She didn’t have much going on in her life anyway and he was the most important thing to her. She hadn’t
meant to make him feel bad, she was just...ugh. She didn’t know.
“I know you care Analu-,” she began with a sigh, “I’m sorry, I just...I don’t know...” She really didn’t. She didn’t know what to say,
what to do, what to think. All she knew was how much of a disappointment a baby would be for him and she didn't know if she could take that. She
turned away from him, taking a few steps as her eyes began to well. She was scared. All over again she was afraid. The guy from the hospital,
Owen, he’d made it seem like things would just work out and be okay, but what if they didn’t, what if they weren’t?
He spoke again, calling her back, but closing the gap between them before she could move. Her eyes studied the pier beneath then. She couldn’t let
him see her crying. She didn’t want to upset him more, but...but...Just talk to me. “It used to be so easy, Lu-,” she sighed, her eyes
coming to meet his as the first tear fell. “When it was just you and me. It was so easy...it’s changing. Other things are changing it and
there’s nothing we can do...I’m...I’m sorry...”
An unattached apology. It wasn’t what they needed now but she was trying at least. She was going to tell him. She was.
You must do what you are ordered; for yourself and for your ohana.
And like a rock, her words hit Analu so hard that he swore he felt the tremor of her words shift down his body, rocking him where he stood. He wavered
on the spot, his eyes refusing to leave hers. Refusing to believe the tear he saw roll down her cheek. Refusing to believe that this was...it. Before
he'd heard her speak, he just wanted to hear anything. He didn't care. Any reason that would explain what and why his Leah wasn't completely
his anymore. He wanted to know what was pulling her away from him. And he thought he wouldn't have given a shit what the reason was behind her
distance. He only wanted to feed that instinct inside of him...to know. Now, he wished he hadn't ever started this crap with her. That he would've let
well enough be well enough. Maybe if they'd just let things go the way they were, without talking about it...avoiding, maybe he wouldn't have been
standing in the center of so much happiness, trapped in this shell of complete and utter hopelessness with her. But he knew, deep inside of him, that
it was stupid to even think that. She was done. Maleah was fed up with him and their arranged fate. And whether he knew if she could be or not, she
was done with it all. Done with him.
"No...Anela..." Without thinking, he grabbed her arms, pulling her further into himself. He was so lost. He didn't even know how to beg her
to stay. His words weren't working. His brain wasn't working. Part of him wanted to drop to his knees in the middle of that walkway, damn the haoles
surrounding him to whatever hell they believed in. He wanted to beg until his tongue was raw. Until she forgave him and stopped all this craziness and
said she would return home with him. The other part? Wanted to...shake her until she realized that nothing and no one outside of him would love her as
much as he did.
"Leah, you don't have to do this." His voice had lost its strength. He whispered words that she probably didn't care to hear anymore. "You don't have
to leave." His hand, although it wanted to lash out at one of the people passing them, punch them senseless until he was pounding a bloody mass with
his fists, touched her face. His fingertips pushed the tears from her round cheek. He looked at her, hating the complete sorrow he saw there, wishing
that the love, the pleading in his eyes could have been mirrored in hers.
She watched as his face fell, any trace of annoyance or anger leaving him completely, being replaced with something that threatened to kill her
inside. Sorrow. Never before, not with anything she had ever said to him, had she ever seen pain so deep. He had come to her once, late at
night when they were 16 after a blowout with his father. Not even then was there a disappointment on his face so deep. He knew. He knew and
this was his reaction. She felt her heart drop into her stomach as he called out to her, pulling her to him, his ‘No’ echoing in her ears over and
over and over. Taunting her. She could feel a sob building in her throat, but she stifled it, a small whimper leaving her instead as he
continued...What?
She didn’t have to do this? What was he...leave?! No, no! That wasn’t right at all. She went over her words again and tried to...Oh hell,
it had sounded like she was breaking up with him. But it wasn’t. She wasn’t...She didn’t want to leave; quite the opposite actually. She had
every reason in the world to stay now. She was carrying his child...if he knew that he would know that leaving was the furthest thing from mind right
now.
“Analu, no. No-,” she shook her arms free of his grasp as she wrapped them around his torso burying her face in his chest briefly before looking
up at him, “I’m so stupid; that came out all wrong. I love you, baby. You know there’s nothing you could say, nothing you could...I’m not
leaving.” She held him tighter, her head resting against his chest once more as she listened to his heart race. What would it do when she told him
what was really on her mind, she wondered.
"It's something else..."
You must do what you are ordered; for yourself and for your ohana.
Shaking herself from his firm hold on her, Analu gasped as she quickly returned to him, wrapping her arms, vice-tight, around his waist. He
instinctively held her again, his fingers pressing into her skin, pulling her into him as he looked down at her and watched her nuzzle her face into
his chest. With all the confusion he was feeling, all of the things that still had yet to be explained, for a moment...all of it faded a bit. If there
was any sign that Leah was still in love with him, still his Leah, her falling into him like that was it. Her love, her affection, showed him
that everything wasn't as dark as it would seem. It told him that there was still something left to grasp onto, even if that something was only each
other. It told him that she hadn't given it up on him yet. And she could believe that he wasn't near wanting to give up on them either. He would never
be. Like he'd told her before, he didn't the Gods to tell him that he loved her. That he existed to love her. There was no doubt in his mind that
without the tribe and without their ordered marriage, they were...fated. She would never be rid of him. And neither he of her.
"I love you too..." He whispered, breathlessly, his body still finding a way to calm itself from the shock of possibly losing her. A possibility that
he was happy that he didn't have to face. "...I will never stop, anela." Without more than those words to her, he stroked her hair, knowing
that in the silence of that moment, she was listening to his heart, that even though the threat of living without her was over, sped up as she
continued, saying that there was still something that she continued to hide. Something inside of her, that even Analu could tell, was bursting to get
out.
"Just...just say it." He muttered, his lips lowering to her head, kissing her there. What was it?! Fighting to maintain the cool on the outside that
he knew his pounding heart was betraying, he thought about what she was hiding from him. Did she...enroll at KRU or something? Did she sneak and go to
the other side of the island, on her own? Did she...want to leave the Shore? That was the last thing he knew she'd want to do, but whatever it was,
they would work through it! No matter what...
"There is nothing...nothing...that could make me stop loving you."
She felt like a child, clinging to him the way she was. Part of her was holding on to him to let him know that she wasn’t going anywhere; to
reassure him that he was her rock and that leaving him wasn’t even an option to her. Where would she go? What would she do? She couldn’t imagine a
life without Analu and she she never wanted to. Especially not with his child growing inside her. They were going to begin a family...That is if she
ever got the courage to tell him so...Maybe she shouldn’t. Maybe she should just wait for him to ask when her body started to change. Hell, she had
been hiding her boobs, which had gone up nearly a cup size, under over-sized shirts for about a week. How long would it take him to notice her stomach
wasn’t growing because of diner food...
No. She couldn’t leave him out of the loop like that. Not about this; it was too important. So she began, telling him that there was something
else. Something else between them that was causing her distance, her avoidance. She felt his lips press against the top of her head as he told
her to just say it. Just say it? Oh, if only it were that easy. I’m pregnant, wasn’t exactly something you just said. She pulled away
from him a little her hands finding his as they slipped from around him. Okay. She was going to do it. She was going to take his advice and just say
it. Two simple words that would change the two of them forever and she was just going to blurt them out...
She took a deep breath, looking off as she prepared herself and then...stopped. A small smile fell to her lips as she spotted the sign for Tiny
Man’s Turf and just beyond that the submarine shaped sign indicating the line for Doofus’s Deep Sea Diver. They couldn’t have been more than 5
when they rode it the first time. Her parents had brought them to Surfside as an end of the school year celebration and that ride had been her
absolute favorite. Analu hadn’t even wanted to ride it, but he did anyway to make her happy, and she thanked him after with their first kiss. Sure,
it was on the cheek and it probably wouldn’t have counted to anyone else, but it did to her. Every kiss counted with Analu.
“Promise me...you’ll take a night off...-,” her eyes came back to meet his, confusion clear in his face as she continued, “Promise, when
they’re old enough you’ll take just one night away from everything and we’ll come here as a family and you’ll ride Doofus’s Deep Sea Diver
with them. You have to promise Analu, it’s got to be you-,” She was talking too fast and she probably wasn’t making any sense, but he had to
promise. He had to promise to bring their kid here and take one night off from being the leader to be a father. He had to promise...
You must do what you are ordered; for yourself and for your ohana.
What had only been a few minutes seemed like hours, standing there, waiting for his love, his Leah, to open up to him. She was such a stranger now.
This secret, whatever it was, warping her into someone that Analu didn't understand. Because the Maleah he knew had never had a single issue telling
him all the things that she would never tell another living soul. And he, he was the same way. Telling her everything that was his to tell. The only
things he kept from here were the Pueo's and the Elders' secrets. Secrets that he didn't own the right to divulge. And even those were too much as
everything about their relationship had been based on no walls between the both of them. Never any walls. Not between the two of them when there was
no less than everything coming between them already. Unfortunately, Leah wasn't playing by those rules anymore, some unknown sitting between them,
squatting like an overgrown, foreign beast in the midst of them. So large that Analu couldn't just...ignore it...like he wanted to, especially when
all he wanted to do was hold her. Love her. Pretend like he knew exactly what he was protecting her from. Pretending like he knew the name of the
secret he held so heavy in her chest.
Watching her as she struggled with it, pulling away from him only to hold his hands and look him squarely in the eyes, he fell quiet. He would wait
for her to tell him whatever it was that she needed to say, no matter what it turned out to be. He squeezed her hands, reassuringly, letting her know,
without saying it, that he was still waiting and he was still staying...no matter what. He couldn't help it, staring into her eyes. He searched them,
just hoping that he would see something else there besides "scared out of her mind". But that was to no avail because despite how hard he looked, he
knew that fear was clouding every single nerve in her body. And they had that in common as he stood there, just trying to steady himself as he waited
for her to speak.
And she finally did. But they were...all the wrong words. Or so he thought. The...the Deepsea Diver? What the hell did she bring that up for? Well,
yeah he remembered it. Their parents had taken them from the Shore, to one of the only places where what part of the island you lived on didn't
matter. They'd had so much fun that day. He remembered Leah's nagging, even at five years old, when he told her he could eat three bags of cotton
candy and still not get sick. He even remembered her pulling him into that damned submarine and him saying it was a "baby ride", when they were
nothing but babies themselves. They had been so innocent then, none of this "balancing the Shore with their love" shit was between them then. They
were just kids. Kids. Kid...
And like a rock, it hit Analu. It hit him so strongly that he nearly swayed on the spot, like a wind of reality had just rushed over him, leaving him
more waited and unsure than he had been before it happened. His eyes narrowed then widened as they looked at Leah, her eyes staring into his. That was
when he saw it. She wasn't afraid of what him or the secret she held. She was afraid of what it meant when Analu learned of it. Her words, those
words, they formed a new meaning. Take a night off...for them. We'll come here as a family. Ride with them... By the GODS he'd been so
fucking stupid. All the sleeping and the mood changing and the...FUCK. Pregnant. She was pregnant.
"Leah...", He called her name so softly, standing there holding her hands. He had to make sure. Make sure that this wasn't another assumption...just
like when he thought she was leaving. He had to make sure. "Leah. I need...just...say it."
He knew now. He hadn’t been waiting for minutes, he’d literally been waiting for weeks to find out what was keeping her from him; to discover what
was causing every symptom, mood swing, and fight between them. But now he knew...She could see it as he processed what she was telling him, about the
Diver and them coming here as a family. He understood. There was no other reason for her to be bringing this up now. Sure, they had talked before
about having kids, plenty. Leah wanted nothing more than to be a mother to Analu’s children and raise them with him in nothing but love. She’d
mentioned it before, but never lke this. Never as if the need to talk about it was pressing, because then...it hadn’t been. Now, however, things had
changed. She was having his baby...now. And now he knew.
She waited for the initial shock to pass, for something other than complete and total awe to cover his face and tell her how he felt about it. She had
to know this wasn’t the biggest disappointment of their short lives and she needed to hear him say that was was ecstatic and excited and that he
still loved her with everything he had and...it wasn’t coming. It was her turn to wait for what felt like decades to pass, and for another
expression to overcome his features, but it didn’t. He just stared at her...wheels turning as he probably hoped she wasn’t saying what he
thought she was saying. No, not thought. KNEW. Analu knew she was telling him they were having a baby, but...he didn’t...he
didn’t want to believe it. He didn’t want...
No. No, she had to give him the benefit of the doubt! Analu wanted this, he wanted them. Sure, it was way ahead of schedule, as the Elders
hadn’t even told them they could be married yet, but he was...pleased, wasn’t he? He was happy about his first born. He just had to be.
Leah shifted on the balls of her feet uncomfortably as her eyes stayed locked to his and she waited to hear him make that stupid promise. It was so
unnecessary. And it wasn’t really what she wanted to hear. She wanted to hear him say how excited he was. She wanted him to stop the next person he
saw and tell them that his girlfriend of 20 years, the woman he loved, was having his baby. She wanted him to kiss her and ask why she waited so long
to tell him. She wanted him to take her home so they could properly celebrate. She just wanted to hear that he still loved her and she
hadn’t ruined absolutely everything he had going for him in life. Anything but the deafening silence they were sharing now.
It came finally, her name spilling softly from his lips as he found the strength to speak. He needed...she still had to say it. He wanted to be sure.
She sighed, her eyes closing briefly as yet another lone tear fell, “I’m having your baby, Lu...-,” She couldn’t help the little smile that
came to her lips at the thought. It wasn’t the ideal situation, but she was still having his first. She was going to be the mother of his children,
because...
“I’m pregnant.”
You must do what you are ordered; for yourself and for your ohana.
The word reverberated through Analu's body, a tremor running down his spine from the sound of it, alone. It was only a word, now. It hadn't sunk in
yet. What it meant for him. How it affected he and Leah's life. How it affected his destiny...none of that had even crossed his brain. The only thing
he could hear was that word. That...word. Repeating over and over and... This shit was unreal. He felt like every sense, every nerve in his
body had gone dead as he stood there, his arms were limp, no feeling as she held his hands, he was just...staring at her. No prior planning, no trips
to amusement parks, nothing could have prepared him for that word leaving Leah's lips. It was life changing, confusing. It was a goddamned
mind fuck, that was what it was. To think that he would be a father? Age wasn't the issue. There were other couples on the island that had started a
family at an even younger age. The only difference? The were joined and they weren't fucking future elders. His first child...mean
everything. And so did every single moment of bringing him into this world. From delivery to ascension, everything meant something, said
something, was a sign from the Gods. And how the hell did it look now? Analu, not even an elder yet...not even joined with his promised and
he was going to be...a father. A dad. Fuck if everything was simpler. FUCK if things had been without the other things that added to the shock of
hearing that they, he and Leah, were expecting a child.
With a heaving exhale, Analu noticed he'd been holding his breath. It was almost like his body came back to life as everything had stopped inside of
him. Feeling the thud against his chest, he blinked slowly, his eyes focusing back on Leah. He knew what she was waiting for as she stared at him, her
eyes never falling away from his face. He had to...he had to think. He wanted to speak to her but he had to think. Everything was flying through his
head, nonstop. And he hated that in a moment where his reaction should've been sudden, when he should've immediately grabbed the woman he called his
"wife", kissed her and been overjoyed about the news, he stood there, thoughts filling his mind. How would he tell his uncle. How would he tell the
other elders? What the hell would he do when they couldn't hide her pregnancy any longer, because they had to. They had to hide it until he could
think about this. Until he knew it was okay. Knew it was safe for them. For all of them. Even the one...inside of her now.
With an crooked, barely decipherable smile, his eyes left hers, trailing down her frame, to the long, over-sized shirt she wore. One of his shirts.
Pulling his hands from hers, he let one fall to his side. The other one reached out for her, slowly. His fingertips brushed the stomach of her shirt,
grazing her softly. Then his palm...flat against her belly. And he felt it. Even in the two seconds his hand pressed against her, he felt it there.
The protruding bump. Warm, but so foreign on her normally flat stomach. And that bump was what sent him into action. Without thinking twice, he
grabbed her hand and softly pulled her along. His pace was quick as he walked back towards the entrance of the park with her. None of this was
something that needed to be thought about in the open. They needed to go home.
Gone. Analu was completely out to lunch as she finally said the word she’d been dancing around all morning. She was pregnant...and he didn’t know
what to do. She could see it in his face as he tried to refocus, blinking finally as he exhaled. He had been staring without really seeing her, not
breathing, he was just...gone. She imagined it was something like how she had looked when she found out. Feeling like a fish out of water,
confused, unsure, worried. Worried about what people might say, what the Elders might do, how his uncle might react, how her parents would react, how
his parents would react. By the Gods, there was just too much to wonder about. She had questioned everything when she found out and she knew he was
doing the same now. So she would wait...Painstakingly wait for him to say something, anything, that would make her feel like she hadn’t
just ruined his life. Like they hadn’t just ruined his life.
It took a while but his expression finally changed, a curious, crooked smile coming to his lips as his eyes trailed away from hers. The strength in
his arms returned as he shook himself free of her hands and one fell to his sides and the other...the other drifted to her stomach. He touched her
softly at first, his fingers drifting lightly over the his shirt so that the fabric barely touched her stomach. He gained confidence though, finally
putting his palm to her normally flat stomach...if only for a moment.
She expected him to speak, but he didn’t, instead, he took her hand again and began to pull her along. They were going back...Wait. Wait. What did
this mean? She didn’t know what was happeneing and she couldn’t read him when he was like this. “Analu-,” she called his names as her feet
took two steps for each of his. He had to stop, they needed to talk. He had to say something to her, something that would tell her what was
happening.
“Analu, please wait. I can’t...Lu stop!” He feet stopped moving with his as she pulled her hand from his grasp. “Tell me what’s
happening...”
You must do what you are ordered; for yourself and for your ohana.
The bump. Wow. It sounded like the title of a horror movie. If his face wasn't so drawn and pale and he wasn't so deep in his own thoughts,
he would've smiled a bit at that sentiment, his legs still moving quickly through the park. The sounds of laughter, ringing bells, and mirth
surrounded he and Leah as the brisk pace that he maintained carried them to the front gate that would take them from a place that he no longer knew.
It didn't exist to him anymore. With Leah's confession, that lingering bit of childhood that remained between the two of them vanished. And there
wasn't much left to begin with. With the tribe and their future chipping away at it, it had been reduced to merely a speck...responsibility and
position taking its place. But now, it was gone. There was nothing "childlike" about the two of them. Innocence had long ago been lost to each other
and now, the result of that sat inside of Leah.
Analu's fingertips tingled as he thought about what he'd just felt. Even though it was barely there, there had been a certain curve of her small
belly, where her stomach met the place where Analu showed his physical love for her. There was something...alive in there. Something that he and she
had made together. As he walked, he felt that knowledge swell inside of his chest. It wasn't painful and it wasn't...regretful. It
was...pride. He'd done that. The roundness that was there, that would, months later, grow with time and with life. He'd put it there. How
long would it take? Of course he knew how long pregnancies lasted, but...how far along was she? And...could she tell yet? Could she tell what "it"
was? A daughter for him to carry on his back and protect with his life? Or a son. A son that would carry on his name and the legacy it held.
Analu... Her voice interrupted his thoughts, but he didn't stop. He didn't stop walking. He wouldn't stop until they reached their little
home on the Shore. There, they would figure all of this out and...
With a sudden halt, Maleah pulled her hand from his, refusing to move until he told her what was going on inside of his head. Moving as closely to her
as he could, he grabbed her hand again.
"We need to go home. I can't...think out here. I need...we need to go back to the Shore." He explained the thoughts that jumbled so violently in his
head that he was sure they'd burst forth as well as he could.
No, no this wasn’t right either. But what could she really expect? None of this was the way it was supposed to be. They were supposed to be joined,
they were supposed to be happy, they were supposed to be 5 years in the future and in their home when she told them about their first child. So why
had she even bothered to expect the reaction that matched the perfect little picture in her head? As much as she wanted to be over-joyed with the
news, they were in trouble. She knew it and Analu knew it too. So of course his first instinct was not to sweep her into his arms and tell
her how everything was going to be great, but to protect. That’s who he was, that’s what he did. He was a protector, her
protector more than anyone else’s and she was in trouble.
So she understood when he told her that he couldn’t think here. With the flashing lights, the bells and buzzing of carnival games, the outsiders
that did nothing but cloud his movements with discomfort; he wasn’t comfortable here...That was all he was uncomfortable with though, right? It
wasn’t...it wasn’t her was it? All at once, her insecurities were beginning to resurface. She had thrown a lot at him and all of it on top of the
other responsibilities he had in his life. She was adding fuel to a fire that was already engulfing so much of him...She wouldn’t blame him if he
was...resentful.
Oh, the word itself threatened to tear a hole in her heart. She could deal with him not speaking, she could deal with him needing to think, but she
couldn’t bear the thought of him resenting her and the life they’d created. That she needed to hear him say.
She nodded as he explained that they needed to go back to the Shore and he turned to move again, but her hand reached up, her fingers gently touching
his arm as she stopped him again so that she could speak, “I...tell me it’s going to be okay-,” he hadn’t done that, he hadn’t told her
anything that wasn’t that he had to think, “Tell me that we’re going to be okay...”
She wanted to hear that he didn’t hate her. That the beginning of their family wasn’t going to be the end of them as a couple.
You must do what you are ordered; for yourself and for your ohana.
Watching Maleah nod her head, her expression, knowing, Analu moved to keep walking as there was no need for further explanation. In those few words,
he'd said it all.He needed to think.... He needed time to process. He needed a moment to break down everything that she'd said to him. Two
simple sentences that threatened to change their lives forever. That was it. Their love formed a life in her womb that meant more than any normal
child birth would. Instead of normal families with their normal lives, normal jobs, normal lineages, the line that came from he and his soon to be
wife, Maleah, would be chosen. Just as the Ikaikas had always been. Their firstborn, whether male or female, would carry the name of
decades...centuries of blood line. From their very beginnings as the tribe thought to have birthed the God, Ku, they were the "chosen" ones. Smarter,
wiser, braver...the first. That history, alone, was why this birth was so special. It was why they couldn't just go home and start picking out names.
This was why Analu had to go. Had to think. Had to think before his head exploded from the pressure alone.
But she stopped him again, her hand resting against his arm. Analu stopped immediately, closing his eyes for a second, his patience for the park, for
the noise, for the fucking haoles, waning by the moment. Looking at her made the strain he wore melt though and turned it into a fresh bout of pure,
concentrate...fear. His eyes asked the question. What was wrong now? Hearing her made his shoulders, which had tensed at her touch, ease down.
"I...can't tell you that, anela." Answer honestly. That had been his belief when dealing with his love. He would answer, what he could, as
honestly as he could and the truth was, he didn't know if things would be okay. He didn't know what the elders would say when they found out that
Maleah was with child. He didn't know what they would say when their fears of Analu lying with her before their union were realized! He didn't
know...he didn't know what this bump would mean...for them.
"But we? You and me?" His hand touched her face, fingertips stroking her soft skin. "Nothing has changed." With a quick peck to her lips, he watched
her face carefully, before he turned away from her, his legs moving again towards the front gate.
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