Cause you feel like paradise and I want a vacation toni-iiiight!
Wait. What the hell was she listening to? It was common knowledge as a broadcast had surely gone out on NBC, CNN, FOX, and any other three-lettered
news station that "Hold It Against Me" was one of the most heinous songs...ever created. Yet, there Milicent was, mouthing the words streaming from
her ear buds. Blasted Pandora. Tricking her into listening to such ear suicide. Blech...but still catchy. Which is why she found herself
bobbing her head and doing some sort of undecipherable dance, which she would only described as "half sexy/half horrifying", to the upbeat song in the
middle of the library stacks.
The job that she'd been given over an hour ago wasn't going well...at all. She still had a cart full of books and she was no where NEAR emptying it.
So, she did the next best thing...started to put the books anywhere! Yep! Bloom's Compilation of 20th Century British Writers? Yeah, she was
sure she put that somewhere in the books on Irish diaspora. She cared! She cared a little. Okay, maybe she didn't care too much. It'd been a month on
the job and she was over it already. Just over the stacks and people asking her to find books that she didn't even know existed! So instead of being
the Almighty Wizard of Library-Oz, she'd keep listening to Britney and attempt to balance the massively heavy books she was expected to shelve.
Ever wish that John Hughes filmed, produced and directed your life?
The music was blaring from the ear buds. So much so that Milicent swore that she would be dead by thirty if she kept on the way she was. Deafness by
Britney Spears. Not a good way to go. But the music, Pandora on her iPod, all of it just kept her going that afternoon. Libraries weren't the best
place to work. Well, in her book they weren't. The circus and the Apple Store were surely Milicent's top ten. But she didn't work at either of those,
now did she? Nope, no free cotton candy or discounted iPods for her. But she sucked it up. Not for the money and not for the experience, as she still
had no clue what her major would be, nor any desire to make a quick decision. But because she knew keeping a job and going to college were the
"responsible" things to do, whether she saw them necessary or not! Although, shelving books in all the wrong places was neither responsible or right.
But hey, she was making strides!
With both hands, she grabbed another thickly bound book, its red cover worn with age. Great. There were no more spaces on the bottom shelves. All that
was left was the top. Okay, she could manage that! She was a she-woman. Or at least she could tell herself that she was. Leaning her chest
flat against the shelves, she stood on her tiptoes, quietly relishing in a moment one of the only moments that she'd ever felt short in her life. Yep,
it had been a great idea to not wear heels.
"Juuuust tiiiip it in there..." She muttered to herself, pushing the large book into the free space at the very top shelf. Her fingertips barely held
the book as it moved forward. Her silently prayer to the library gods was that it didn't...decide...to...uh-oh. Before she could catch it, the book
began to fall backwards, her hands scrambling to catch the heavy book before it bashed her skull in! But it missed her. Thank GOD...
...and fell on the foot of the guy she hadn't even noticed standing behind her instead.
Ever wish that John Hughes filmed, produced and directed your life?
Snatching the ear buds from her ears and nearly ripping the insides of them out too, she could finally hear. And wow, what did she hear. Streams of
curse words poured from the guy's lips. Some combinations were so intricate that Milicent hadn't even thought of using them yet! This guy. With a look
of absolute embarrassment and...a little bit of guilty amusement, she slapped her hand over her mouth and debated whether it was even a good idea to
try and keep him from tumbling over as he hopped in the tiny space, holding his smashed foot. Oh. Oh she really hoped it wasn't broken. Taking a guy
to the emergency room with a broken femur because of her clumsiness? Great! And...and was the femur even IN the foot? Ugh, she should have really paid
attention in Human Anatomy in high school.
"Oh my god!" She shouted, maybe a little louder than she'd actually meant to. "Oh fuck! Oh my god I'm so sorry!" Her voice quieted a bit as their
collective "fucks" were attracting more attention than necessary. Some of the people at the nearby tables were looking up with expressions that ranged
from completely annoyed to a little turned on. Yeah. She saw that guy at the far table closest to the wall. He nearly leaped out of his seat from the
combined voices, probably hoping that he'd catch some "between the stacks" action.
"Oh I knew I was going to drop that stupid book! Shit...I'm so sorry. Here. Let me..." Let her what? Let her what! Hurt the guy even more? Oh she
really felt bad.
"Do you need me to look at it. Your foot, that is. That really didn't sound good." Yeah, nice line. She was sure he KNEW exactly how bad the book
hitting HIS foot sounded...and felt.
Ever wish that John Hughes filmed, produced and directed your life?
Oh shit. With a horrified expression, Milicent watched him sink to the floor of the library, his hand to his possibly crushed foot and his
back to the bookcase. Without thinking, she bent down next to him, pushing her red tresses behind her ear. What was she doing? This guy, this
poor guy probably didn't want her anywhere near him! She had successfully crushed his foot with the world's biggest ass book and was probably
about to get them both kicked out of the library due to the array of colorful language pouring out of both of their mouths. With a quick "shhhhh", she
hushed him (which was probably equally as annoying as injuring him) and pointed towards the Circulation Desk, hoping he got the point. And it seemed
he did as his voice lowered, totally agreeing to her sentiment about her stupid ass comment. Smoooooth, Mils. Smooth.
"I know. Dude..." She said, her normally warm voice growing harsh from utter embarrassment. "...I'm so sorry." And she kept doing that. That
apologizing thing which was probably just getting more and more redundant. With a wiry smile, she nodded at his horrible joke. Yeah, it was horrible.
But at least he was trying to make her feel better, even though if she'd had ONE of her ear buds out of her ears, she would've heard him approach her
and proably would've been a bit more careful about barely putting books on shelves. Shelves that they didn't even belong on!
"Did-did you want to go to the clinic? You know, just to make sure that I didn't completely shatter your foot?"
Ever wish that John Hughes filmed, produced and directed your life?
If she had known, with some crazy ability to see into the future, that putting all those books in the clearly inappropriate places would end up in a
broken foot...she would've put a lot more of them in the shelves closer to the floor! Really! It had NOT been her attempt to injure the poor guy. She
could nearly hear his pain through everything that he wasn't saying. And it even seemed like he was trying to NOT be in the obvious pain he
was in...just to make her feel better about nearly crushing the toes off of his foot.
"Help you walk?" Oh, that was all he wanted? Great! Because at that point, with all the guilt she was feeling, she would've agreed to give him her
kidney if he'd needed it. "Sure, of course! Here. Let me-" Bending down, she looped her arm around her his broad back, holding him as tightly as she
could as she leaned up, pulling him to his feet. Well...his good foot...thanks to her. He wasn't THAT heavy, but his tall frame leaned on
hers, making her support him more than she was sure she could. With a tiny stumble, almost landing them into the bookcase (which would have just
sounded like the second round of library sex), he steadied them as well as he could. Yeah, she was a lot of help.
"Since I've successfully injured your foot and I'm under your armpit with my arm around your waist, maybe we should exchange names?" Milicent quipped
as they cleared the end of the row they were on and hobbled like some odd, four-legged animal. "You know, so you can know who to blame and I can know
whose name to write on the check for 'hush money'?"
Ever wish that John Hughes filmed, produced and directed your life?
Ash Harper. Huh. So maybe he didn't have a total "007" name, but it was pretty cool. It reminded her of Harper Lee, the author of "To Kill a
Mockingbird". Okay, so maybe the author just so happened to be a "she" which was a huge difference from this guy. But it was pretty ironic that he was
in a library, roaming the rows of books while any common male on the campus was outside, throwing some form of animal skin around to each other. Or
sitting in the Union discussing some random college girl's ass and their ability to "hit that shit". Yeah, completely different breed of "male", he
was. And it was actually quite refreshing to know that there were men around campus with advanced brains and thought patterns. Evolution at its
finest.
"Hey, at least you're name isn't Milicent..." she huffed, passing rows of books at what seemed to be a snail's pace. "Milicent Poindexter, actually.
Yeah, take a big whiff of that one." Yep, that was her name. Milicent Poindexter. As if her last name wasn't pocket-protector worthy enough. Nope! Her
parents added the Milicent. It was the nice, round cherry on top of lifetime humiliation. And fortunately, all the jokes and harassment through the
years had given her a nice sized sense of humor...and a very long hit list.
"But it's perfectly okay to call me Mils, as everyone who's anyone does, dauuu-ling." A little giggle left her lips quickly. "And I didn't kill your
foot...I assaulted it. But I swear it wasn't premeditated! I hear the doubles your sentence in the 'big house'."
Ever wish that John Hughes filmed, produced and directed your life?
Well, besides the fact that her name made one think of pocket protectors and asthma pumps, it was hers to keep, she guessed. Being cursed with a
horrendous name had its quirks, though, even though they were often hard to find in the piles of crap they were buried under. Like the ability to
laugh at herself when everyone else was pretty much doing just that...and doing it loudly. Or how humor could diffuse any situation...or a long,
continuous stream of "your name sounds like..." jokes. Point was, her name gave her a humor about life that even the funniest comedian having a go at
her couldn't break. Maybe that was why her parents had chosen such crazy names for she and her brother. What didn't completely kill them from
embarrassment had to make them stronger, right?
"Massive ass book, deadly weapon. Potato, Po-tah-to." She joked as they cleared the stacks and neared the circulation desks nearest the front doors of
the library. Yeah, she probably should've checked with someone before she walked out on her shift to take some random student to the Student Clinic,
but she just...decided against that. She'd explain her absence later, that is if she still had a job after her supervisor saw how she'd shelved the
last cart of books.
Speaking of shelving. "Must there be a reason behind genius?" Her playful retort almost coming out as a grunt as she heaved Ash to the door and hoped
that he would be able to support himself long enough for her to prop the door open for both of them to hobble through. "And nothing ever bothers this
girl. I turn cartfuls of books into...misplaced mistakes? Weapons?" With a laugh, she looked up at him, almost burying her face in his armpit.
Lovely.
"And what are you? The Library Inspector? The defender and mitigator of book justice and equality?"
Ever wish that John Hughes filmed, produced and directed your life?
A completely indecent laugh echoed through the entrance of the library, the space between the door leading to the interior and leading to the street
making it echo all the more. She was so lucky that that space served as a barrier, but also unlucky because her laugh was probably audible. Stifling
herself quickly, the smile on her face never fell from Ash's joke. So Mr. Book Justice Man could play along, could he? Milicent like that. From looks
alone, she never would've been able to tell that the guy could even laugh! His features were so...stone. Not like he looked like he could break her
face with his or anything. He just looked, serious. Like a laugh had never cracked the surface of his face. Like he had been born grimacing. Good
thing she was wrong or dropping a book on his foot could have been ten times more unpleasant.
"Well you weigh a ton, Mighty Bookman." She said as she leaned him against the wall again and opened the second door, the sounds of the campus
flooding in. Squinting in the sunlight, she hooked her arm around him again, his arm coming over her shoulders for the final time. "But you have keep
direction sense! Am I to guess you've BEEN to the student clinic before? Possibly another injury?" Walking in time, she spoke as they trudged along
the busy walkway, the student clinic still a distance away.
"And fair damsel? Ooo! You think I'm fair?" Wiggling her eyebrows, she snorted and laughed.
Ever wish that John Hughes filmed, produced and directed your life?
Muscles of steel and the intellect of a super computer? Oh, this kid was a hoot. A complete hoot. An OWL worthy hoot even! His humor strolled right
along with hers, hand in hand, and he didn't even blink at, what some might have called, Milicent's "moxy". Okay, so maybe no one used the word "moxy"
anymore and even if they didn't, she strongly doubted that any one would use it to describe her personality. Weird. Abnormal. A little off. That was
more like it. At least to people that didn't understand her, that description was enough. But this guy. This "Ash". Yeah, he seemed like he
understood...her humor, it seemed. And her laugh. The off-putting laugh that usually grated people's nerves instead of making them join in.
"Yup. I'm fresher than the Prince of Bel-Air." She answered before she thought and smiled at the ridiculousness of her reply. But he just kept right
on talking, making it pretty known that he wasn't a freshman like her.
"An older man? Well I do declare! I've never...touched...and older man before..." Feigning a horribly mocked southern accent and a blush, she laughed
again, stumbling as they made their way down the path. So, he was a "memory" kind of guy. Hmmm, wonder how long it would take him to forget that she
crushed his foot with a massive book? And funny enough, she kind of hoped that he wouldn't..."hold it against her". Urg. Britney.
"Aw! Thank you!" She exclaimed as he commented on her pale, freckled skin that shouldn't have been ANYWHERE near the Hawaiian sun. "And who says I
wasn't admiring? I couldn't take my eyes off of you in the library. You know when you were hoping around...screaming obscenities. Be still my heart."
Another giggle escaped her before she looked away from his face, those blue eyes that were so ice that they were nearly clear causing a slight blush
to rise to her cheeks that had NOTHING to do with the hot sun...
Ever wish that John Hughes filmed, produced and directed your life?
Wow, even Captain Library had had a relationship with someone on campus. Amazing. Milicent had been at KRU for a almost an entire year and she had YET
to date anyone. But, eh. Cest the story of her life. She really wasn't the "dateable" type, it seemed. Even in highschool, she was often
overlooked for the peppier, cuter, bustier classmate. Not that she didn't have boobs. Those babies were filling a full "B" cup those days. And good
looks were in the eye of the beholder...if that beholder liked more hip than boob, average weight and a head full of red hair. And normally "beholder"
didn't...so...there weren't as many "gentleman callers" knocking on her door and asking for her very available hand in marriage...or simply, a date.
Oh, don't get her wrong. She'd had dates. She'd had really...fun dates! Just, none of them got farther than just "firsts". No callbacks for the very
available Milicent Poindexter. But she wasn't the crying type when it came to lack of "leading men" in her horromamededy (the romance, comedy, drama,
horror movie that was her life...with a little more horror than romance).
"Oh. You just keep on putting on the "suave" don't you?" Another laugh at the freeness of "fucking tits" from his lips sounded as she saw the clinic
in the distance. Nodding to it, she tightened her grasp on his waist and listened as he joked about his "good looks". Something told her that there
was more humor than truth felt in that statement. And she didn't see why! Ash really WAS a good looking guy. He had this completely rugged, tough, "I
have hidden tattoos" kinda thing going on with his look. The kind that probably made girls swoon. Not like she was swooning...or anything! But, it was
believable, especially finding a guy like him in the library instead of the RAC. That was a far-fetched catch around KRU. The guys were, hmmm, kind of
typical around KR? Surfers, jocks, or the broody type. She didn't catch many that strayed from the norm. It was nice to meet Ash. He kept her hope
alive that all of Kapuhai Reef's male citizens weren't boob and ass chasers.
"So...you've actually graced your presence on the lowly female population of KRU? Oh, they must be so honored!" With a chiding smirk, she looked up at
Ash, hoping that he wouldn't mind her prying question, disguised in humor.
Ever wish that John Hughes filmed, produced and directed your life?
Did he just say swag? Yep, he did. Milicent laughed again, a visual of the Old Spice "Swagger" commercials playing in her head. Like her little
brother'd said, "when corporate America starts using a slang word, it is no longer 'cool'." Dex had a point. The word made her want to snort, but she
was sure that snorting laughter would be overkill. She would save that for a later date. Date. Was it crazy that that word reverberated in
her head when she shouldn't have been thinking about anything but getting Ash to the student clinic so they could have actual proof of how she'd
royally smashed his foot? But there it was! The word "date". Right there and flashing like halogen lights, neon and completely tacky. So maybe
Milicent found herself a little attracted to the hobbling and cursing of Sir Bookman. But was it any surprise? He had a weird charm, you know, if one
liked that stern faced, sarcastic, witty, book nerd kind of guy...which Milicent did...sort of. Okay, a lot. So sue her!
"Swag..." She muttered and shook her head as he went on, talking about his assured sex appeal and his doubt that the ladies of the KRU campus could
really take on all of it. "OH, I'm completely convinced of that. They can't handle you, Ash! You're too sexy for this walkway!" Meeting his eyes, she
flushed again and looked down to her feet, making sure that they didn't cross paths with his and end up sprawled across the sidewalk, her in
embarrassment and him in probably more pain. The entire walk must've been such an annoyance for him, draped over her arm like some invalid. Were
people staring at them? Ugh, she hadn't even noticed if they were or not, not that she usually paid attention to people much when she walked the
campus. But it wasn't about her at the moment, it was about Ash and his busted foot and what was probably a hell of a lot of annoyance as he had to be
carted down the path by her!
Laughter was the background music to his conversation as Ash joked around again, pointing out the numerous females that he'd been on dates with,
prizing with his attention. A look of skepticism fell on her face, listening to him ask her if she could pick out his type.
"What? No big boobs and blond hair for you?" She joked, nudging him in the side as they approached the doors of the clinic. Honestly, she couldn't
even THINK what type of girl he liked. Every guy had his own preference, right? How in the world could she figure out his? But she was up for the
game, her voice lowering as they opened the doors.
"Hmmm, a game, you say? I accept your challenge!"
Ever wish that John Hughes filmed, produced and directed your life?
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