"Lu, please say something-," she didn't care what it was as long as he spoke to her. He hadn't said anything since ripping his hand out of hers after
leaving the diner. She wanted to know what he was thinking, how he was feeling. As they entered the home that they had shared since they were 17, she
neared the end of her rope, "Analu stop and talk to me damn it!" He stopped finally, turning to face her and causing all her words to jumble in her
throat. "Just...Just tell me what I can do-," She just wanted him to be happy. It seemed like he never was anymore and she was at her wits end. She
just wanted him to tell her what it was she could do! She just wanted to fix it.
"Please-," she stepped a little closer to him then, her hand reaching out for his again, "Don't shut me out of this too..." Unfair? A little. But she
couldn't be there for him if he pushed her away every time he was upset.
You must do what you are ordered; for yourself and for your ohana.
Maleah had been going at it since they'd left the diner. All of the questions aimed at him, pestering him endlessly as they walked, her little voice
just pelting at him like rocks aimed at his back. Talk to her about what? About how powerless he felt? About how her father, who had just been
protecting them and his restaurant, had to defend him because he wasn't "leader" enough to do it himself? Or maybe it wasn't that he wasn't leader
enough. Because he was too "chosen", too special to fight his own damn battles. Protect his own woman. No, he couldn't say those things to her. And
that was the way that things were beginning to be. There was less to say to her. Less to tell her. Less to confide in her with. Every since they were
little kids, there wasn't a damn thing that he couldn't tell his Leah. She had been his best friend and when he was old enough to understand, she
became his anela and his lover. Now, what was she? A distant stranger who didn't even know him anymore because he blocked her out so much?
As they stepped into their house, her trailing behind him into the living room, she still pulled at him for insight. For him to talk. To say anything.
At the sound of his name, a curse following it, he stopped suddenly, turning to her. Giving her her wish.
"What do you want me to say!?" He asked after a moment, just looking in her eyes, which were just as confused as his. Again, he turned and plopped
onto the loveseat, untying the laces on his combat boots. He avoided her eyes as she stood in front of him. Finally, she spoke. A simple
please leaving her lips, her hand outstretched. He looked at it and then at her, his eyes cold.
"I couldn't..." He paused, his head falling to his hands. "I couldn't protect you."
She wasn't used to this. After spending more than half of her life with him telling her his every secret and minor emotion, she never knew how to
react when he said nothing. She knew she was annoying him, her incessant nagging probably making things worse rather than better, but she...she just
felt so...helpless. This wasn't the first time he'd been in a mood and there was nothing she could say or do to fix it. She was completely
useless these days and she often wondered, if it weren't for their betrothal, would he even stay?
What do you want me to say!? She didn't know. She had no idea what she was waiting to hear. Anything that would push her in the right
direction of helping him would be great...but was that even possible? With everyday that went by she wondered what she did for him now...she always
came up with nothing. And ever now and again she thought about telling him how unhappy it made her that she couldn't do what she used to for him. That
she didn't feel like the light in his life anymore, but what would that do but make things more insufferable than they already were? The one thing she
could do for him was keep a brave face.
Well, not now. Now, she was near tears, as he looked at her hand then at her, the coldness of his stare causing a chill to run through her. She opened
her mouth to speak, but he did so before her. He couldn't protect her? Oh...
"Baby...-," a sigh escaped her lips as she drew nearer, sitting beside him on the loveseat, her hand on his back in comfort. "Of course you could
have. There is no doubt in my mind about your ability to take care of me...but..." How could she say this without sounding
insensitive? Without making him sound as if he had to be pampered and pacified whenever he was challenged. "But you're too important for...pettiness."
He was a leader to his people; one that was to lead by example and his common street-fighting did nothing but say, to the keiki of the tribe, that it
was okay to attack any foreigner and, to the adults of the tribe, that he couldn't contorl his emotions and pick his battles.
And beyond that, "Analu, if my father goes to jail for shooting those boys in the diner then I lose my dad but, if you go to jail for fighting them,
the tribe loses a leader. I lose the love of my life."
He had to understand that. He had to understand that he was too important to fight over a woman that had no responsibility to this tribe. To fight
over small, disrespectful, remarks about a girl who would mean next to nothing to her people if it weren't for him. She couldn't lose
him...The tribe couldn't lose him.
You must do what you are ordered; for yourself and for your ohana.
And now, she knew. Now the look of pity that he hated seeing in her face fell, shifting her delicate features. He hated that look. Fuck, Analu hated
that look. The look that said that he was about to hear something that he didn't want to hear. Something that had to do with his "responsibility", his
"purpose". Something pertaining to the fact that he was chosen, once again. He was tired of it. Tired of hearing things that had to do with his
future. Tired of people around him, his family, his friends, Leah...all giving him reasons why he couldn't live the life that he wanted to live.
Reasons for the conditions that decorated his life like annoyingly, glaring Christmas lights, flashing "no's" at his face. No, he couldn't play sports
in highschool because if he did, fell and broke his neck, then where would the tribe be? No, he couldn't go off to school, he had to stay with the
tribe. No, NO, NO! Just so many...no's. And the only yes he had, he still hadn't controlled. The "yes" to marry Leah. It was just luck that he had
been blessed with her...luck that she loved him too. But the tribe controlled his very life! In his youth, it was alright. A little prince he was. But
now, the responsibility was real. The emotions and pressure, even more real. Too real sometimes.
"Anela. Don't." He said quickly as Leah drew nearer to him, placed her warm palm on his back. He didn't want to hear it, but she continued
talking. Her words careful...so careful. But he still sighed at them, grunting roughly as he moved from underneath her hand. He didn't CARE about
pettiness! He cared about beating the shit out of those outsiders. He cared about being able to live with passion and irrationality. Not taking one
second to think about how his actions could wound the tribe that was looking up to him, even now. Even before his Uncle had relinquished his position
to him. Now. He couldn't be stupid. He had to be able to think when other younger men would just act. Like those haole diners. He couldn't
lose his head like them. Because "losing his head" might have meant the end of a generational tradition and perhaps the end of his tribe.
"Why..." He said, his thoughts lining up with the very thing that Leah was saying. "Why are you so wise, my Anela?" She was so reasonable. So
level-headed. She had been when he was a quick tempered boy and now she was now that he was an illogical man. Sometimes, he wondered why she hadn't
been chosen for the kapuna elima*. She was filled with so much wisdom. That wisdom that let him know that if he truly believed in the gods,
they had a purpose in choosing her for him.
"I-sometimes, I wish I didn't have to think for the tribe." He admitted, feeling her hand rubbing his back. "Sometimes I wish I could just think for
me...for you. I will never just be your husband, ke aloha*. I will always be married to two. The tribe...and you. How will you tolerate that?
How?"
He tried to stop her. He tried to keep her from telling him what he already knew to be true. He just wasn't able to act without thinking anymore. He
wasn't a boy anymore...he was the man the tribe looked to for guidance now. Recklessness was no longer an option. He pulled away from her hand as her
words frustrated him to the point of not even wanting to be touched. She hated having to do this to him. Pass along the tribe's never-ending series of
"you can't"s and "no"s. Of course she never would have wanted him to fight those outsiders either way, but she hated having to be the one responsible
for telling him he had no choice. He never had a choice. Not even in being with her.
His words broke her thoughts a simple why on his lips at first, then the rest of his question. She smiled slightly. He understood. She knew he did,
even before she told him what he didn't want to admit to himself. She moved closer to him, her hand returning to his back as she began to makes soft
circles over it. Sometimes I wish I didn't have to think for the tribe. Of course he did. There was no shame in that. Hell, she herself
wished things were different for them. Their 18th birthday, the entire week he'd spent doing the Gods only knew what with the Pueo, all the
nights she slept alone...she'd wished he had been born someone different. Anyone but an Ikaika. Anyone but the man that had to...be married to two.
He was right. He would never be able to be with her like a typical husband. Hell, for all she knew Analu would miss the birth of their first child,
trying to protect the tribe. Could she handle that? It was different for leaders. Foot soldiers of the Pueo traded the tribe for
ohana when the time came. Leaders didn't have that option. There was the tribe and only the tribe. How would she tolerate that?
She lifted his chin, the shame in his eyes almost too much for her to bear. There was nothing for him to be ashamed of...How would she tolerate that?
"Your love for me will keep me strong-," she replied, a soft smile on her lips as she returned his forehead kiss from earlier before shifting in her
seat to hug him. "I'll always be here for you Analu. Hell and high water couldn't drag me away..."
You must do what you are ordered; for yourself and for your ohana.
Feeling her fingertips at his chin, his eyes shifting from hers as soon as they'd fallen on each other. Shame was there. Shame he hated for Leah to
even know existed within him, all at what he'd just admitted to her. But then again, when he searched himself, he shouldn't have cared if she saw it
or not. There was something about being with her, alone. When the tribe wasn't calling for his attention, when his uncle wasn't demanding his time,
when the elders weren't filling his head with more knowledge and responsibility than he truly felt he could handle. When there was
just...peace, he could be with her. He could be that boy he had been before the seriousness of the tribe set in. Before it had just been
something that he would do in the future, when he became of age. He could be that gangly, preteen kid that snuck into her room when her parents had
gone to bed, just to lay beside her and talk about completely nothing all night. He could be the very same boy who swore, with spit, to be her best
friend forever when they were seven. When there was no stress, just emptiness ready for her to fill with her love, he could just be...Lu. And maybe
that was the confusion of it all. He couldn't just be "Lu" with Leah anymore. He had to be husband. Leader. Elder...and in those positions, there was
no room for shame or weakness. In those positions, there was only room for strength.
Love. And it was as simple as that? All they had to do was keep on loving each other, keep letting their love be their bond, and she wouldn't know the
difference? Analu's brow furrowed as his eyes returned to her, studying her face before she leaned up and kissed him on his forehead, her soft lips
bringing his hands to her waist. He wasn't so sure that love could hold everything together. It hadn't with his father and his mother. After he lost
his place in the circle, he lost everything. He lost his desire to be anything but a sloppy, fucking drunk...including being a husband. The drink
ruled his world because of the tribe. What if something shook Analu so hard that he went down the same path. What about Leah? He hadn't exactly been
the unchangeable, pillar of strength during this journey. What would happen when things got harder. When the trials and the tasks got harder.
I'll always be here for you... And that was her answer. She would never leave him. Whether he succeeded or failed, she would be
there, beside him. Again, he gazed at his promised. His very own "chosen one". Yes, she was "chosen" too. Chosen to support a leader. An
elder. And she would. Because she was strong. Stronger than anyone, but the two of them, knew. She had endured so much already.
"Promise me you'll stay with me, Leah." He whispered as his arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her to him, desperately wanting that hug to last
longer. "Promise me..."
He was hiding again, from the one person he knew he could be himself with. Why was it like this now? What had changed that made him think she wasn't
the same girl he could tell anything to. The same girl that went to him, without question, on the nights when things were rough with his dad. The same
girl that he shared his first kiss with when they were eight and then lost his virginity to at fifteen. He could tell her anything; any and every
thing that crossed his mind...but lately it just seemed as if he didn't want to confide in her anymore. She probably could've made the argument that
he just couldn't tell her what he was feeling if it pertained to the Pueo, his leadership, the things she wouldn't understand, but she knew
in her heart of hearts that he wasn't talking by choice. He was hiding from her. But she wouldn't push. He'd talk when he was ready, she guessed...she
hoped. For now Maleah would do what she could to make sure he knew that she was still here for him. She loved him exactly the way he was now and
nothing he could say or do would ever change that. Nothing he could become would change that. The titles meant nothing to her; leader, elder, none of
it mattered. To Maleah he was just Lu and she was just Leah. His Leah. Nothing could change that, the Gods wouldn't allow it to happen.
His hands came to her waist as she kissed his forehead, pulling her closer to him as she held him, as if fearful she would let go and disappear.
Never. "ʻOlelo hoʻohiki*,-" she replied, her voice as soft as the tender moment they were sharing. Finally, something she could fix for
him; a stress she could relieve. And she would keep her promise. Analu would be the father of her children and they would grow old together raising
them, loving them. And each other.
"But you can't keep hiding for me Analu-," she sighed, pulling back so that their eyes could meet, "I can't take you not talking to me...You don't
have to carry this burden by yourself all the time." He may have had to carry the tribe by himself, but she was there to carry him. That's what she
was chosen for. That was her purpose.
_________________
* I promise
You must do what you are ordered; for yourself and for your ohana.
Hiding was easier than confession. And with the expectations that had been stacked on Analu, their weight feeling like a ton each, the easiest thing
was what he went with. Hiding those emotions away, pretending that they didn't exist. In his eyes, they only made him weaker and talking about them
did the same. And the end of the day, weakness wasn't an option. He was so exhausted after all of his duties, his body screaming at him from the
fatigue, muscles straining just to make him walk through the door. Who the hell wanted to add emotional exhaustion to that too? Apparently Leah did.
It was always about talking things through. About feelings. About putting everything on the table and not hiding from her. But it literally made him
ten times weaker just to confess how powerless he really felt. Embarrassing wasn't the word for how that felt. Letting the woman he would vow, in a
very short time, to take care of, to defend and protect, to provide for. His uncle had always instructed him in being like the black sands that
covered the shore of Kai Pulehu. Beat upon by the waves of the ocean, but never completely destroyed. He was eroding, every day. Losing who he use to
be to make room for this new man. A man that he couldn't help but hate.
He leaned into her soft kiss, those words of promise caressing his ears like the softest down, meaning even more when she said them in Hawaiian. Out
of everything that he felt was cutting away at him, piece by piece, he knew that Leah would keep her promise. That he words were truth. She'd stayed
through so much. Through Analu's fucked up mood swings. Through the nights when she went to sleep without seeing his face and awoke to the same
absence. So much already and they had yet to be joined. But he knew that meant that she was lasting. She was permanent. He didn't have to worry about
his angel.
"I know, anela." He admitted to her sighed words. He knew he couldn't keep holding her at arms length when it came to how he felt. He knew
that he would probably burst from everything he held inside. "But this is my burden. It's mine to carry, not yours." With those words, he pulled her
onto his lap, straddling him. He wanted to see her eyes when he said what he had to say. He wanted her to understand.
"If I can barely handle the shit the tribe puts me through, what's to say that you can?" With a heavy sigh, unable to watch her eyes any longer,
Analu's lips met her chin, nuzzling his face into her neck. "If both of us are weak from it all, how strong can we really be together? This...isn't
yours to bear."
She didn't mean to add to his exhaustion. To the contrary, she had only ever did what she thought was best to relieve it. She only asked how he was
feeling to connect to him. Analu was her other half. When he was unhappy, she was as well. She barely ever saw him anymore and when she did there were
few words between them. He grew tired everyday of the things the tribe put him through and Maleah could only watch as he pushed himself past the point
of exhaustion every night. She just wanted to understand him; to know the things that caused the emotions that he didn't want to share with her. She
needed to know, so that she could do what she was called to do. To be there for him as a man, as a leader, and as her future husband.
It's my burden to carry, not yours...But it was! Leah sighed as he pulled her onto his lap, her legs on either side of his. There was no
"mine" and "yours" in a union. There was only "ours". At least that's what Maleah thought...I mean sure, there were things she chose not to talk about
with him, what with all of the things he already dealt with, but his problems were different...bigger. Analu was more important than she was
and not just to Leah, but to the tribe; hence her need to have him talk to her. Analu needed to be rested, at peace when he returned to the
Pueo at night. He already had so much on his head. All she wanted was for him to share what he could with her. She wanted to ease his pain,
even if it meant increasing hers.
She was prepared to speak. Prepared to tell him exactly what she was thinking, but again he beat her to it, his words causing her breathing to hitch,
her expression displaying the hurt they had caused. Was that what this was about? He didn't think she was strong enough for this? He wasn't strong
enough for him? Analu's lips met her chin, probably before he could catch her expression change as he nestled his head beneath it. He then continued,
doing nothing to make things better for her. How strong could they be together? She didn't want to do this anymore. She didn't want to have
this conversation anymore.
She pulled away from him, standing, trying to catch the tear that fell before he could comment on it, "So what exactly does that mean, Lu?" She knew
what it meant. She wasn't doing enough for this relationship. She knew she wasn't, but to hear him say it made it so much more real. Her arms wrapped
around her body as she braced herself for the answer she knew was coming.
You must do what you are ordered; for yourself and for your ohana.
The way she pulled away from him made Analu frown in confusion, his head bending down to see her face, which was hidden until she completely stood to
her feet. And that face...the expression she wore? It made his heart drop. The streak from a tear that he hadn't seen fall was wet there on her cheek.
Those cheeks. Still as soft and kiddish as they'd been when they were in high school. He'd pinch them to get on her nerves because she hated it when
he tried to act older then her even though they were born on the say day, same year. She'd push him away, her eyes narrowing, lip pouting with those
arms crossed over her chest. All because he tried to make himself the more mature one, the older one. The wiser one. The stronger one. And
the sentiment hadn't changed, except the pain was real, not feigned to get a reaction from him. She was really hurt. Hurt because he limited her. He
knew that was it. He could feel her body tense when he'd said those words.
"Anela..." His voice was quiet as he tried to hold onto her wrist as she stood before him, but she snatched it away. Her arms instinctively
wrapped around her waist, holding her, probably to keep everything inside of her from falling out from the verbal wound he'd just caused. Without a
word, he stared up at her. Her voice shook when she spoke, challenging his words.
Fuck. And just like usual, he was hurting her. His clumsiness with her heart nothing out of the ordinary. Especially lately, as the stress
from the tribe and the Pueo made him numb to everything that didn't include them. He was drained dry, so dry that he couldn't even realize
that he was hurting the shit out of her before he did. There was a day when they were kindred. He knew her happiness and her sadness. She knew his
too. But now, it was like they were on two separate planes. Existing in two different places because of everything that divided them. She didn't know
who or what he was. She didn't know what he wanted anymore because he didn't even know! He knew to want what he was told to want. Leadership,
discipline, and direction of the elders. Other than that, he had no idea. And that emptiness was swallowing them.
"Hey..." He said, standing up, his arms reaching out for her, wrapping around her trembling frame, so afraid of the words that would follow that she
could barely hold her fear inside. Her arms weren't doing the trick, so maybe his would. "I only meant that I wouldn't want you to carry all of this
for me. You see what it's done to me! You barely know me anymore, love." Softly, he let his lips touch her forehead again, moving against it as he
spoke.
"You're so pure, Leah. Why would I want anything that the tribe fills my head with to ruin that." Pulling away from her slightly, he stared in her
beautifully chocolate eyes, bringing his lips to hers softly. "You're the purest thing I have left."
Maybe she was being over-sensitive. She just needed tougher skin, her mother always told her so. But, it was never the things other people said about
her...Back in high school she knew how kids talked despite her being Analu's girlfriend. She had been called her fair share of names by guys who
wanted nothing more than sex and, girls who spoke in whispers about what a snob she was...but none of that ever cut as deep as when Analu said things
that hurt her. There were times when he tried to hurt her on purpose, his anger getting the best of him when they argued, but most of the time he
didn't hurt her on purpose, speaking without first thinking about how it would effect her. This was one of those times. His voice called out for her
as his hand reached out to pull her back to him. She didn't want to go. Not now. Not after what he just said.
How strong can we really be together? It was a real question and the only thing that could answer it was time. Maleah would hope that they
would grow stronger as their relationship did, as they got older and matured...That was possible right? They had been together for so long already;
they knew one another inside and out...at least...they used to. Analu was changing. The Pueo was doing that to him and as much as she would
have liked to it wasn't possible for her to be a part of that change. He wasn't allowed to tell her about what they did; the decisions he had to make,
the situations he had to get himself out of. The Gods only knew what the Pueo had him doing at all hours of the night. The Gods had that
right...Maleah did not.
Analu stood, a soft "hey" on his lips as he reached out for her. She knew that hey. The hey that told her everything was going to be
okay. The hey he used to calm her; the hey he'd first used when they were 12 and she heard Jenna Nakano had kissed him; and again
when he convinced her the Gods would forgive her for giving herself to him. She knew that hey. It was her weakness.
Maleah allowed herself to be pulled in as Analu explained. She felt the tenderness in his touch and everything that had tensed in her earlier, became
softer, more relaxed. She closed her eyes as his lips pressed against her forehead, his words attempting to smooth over the damage he had done,
until...You barely know me anymore...Oh no...he was right. She was his bride to be, the woman he was supposed to spend the rest of his life
with and she didn't know him anymore. Not the way she used to. Not the way she wanted to...Not the way she would.
Analu's lips meeting hers pulled her from her thoughts, though. A kiss, as he told her she was the purest thing he had left. Leah smiled, pulling her
bottom lip between her teeth as she looked away from him, he was making this hard. "I'm sorry, baby-," her hands rested on his chest as she looked
back at him, "I'm...I'm over-reacting; it's just that, you're right, I barely know you anymore and I guess...I guess I'm just worried you'll out grow
me." It was true, and for the first time, she heard herself say so out loud. Maleah had promised she would stay with him, but Analu had never made the
same commitment. Who was to say he even wanted to be with her now?
You must do what you are ordered; for yourself and for your ohana.
Over-sensitive? No, her quickness to reaction was just her being a woman. A woman who beyond everything that he deserved, loved Analu. Sometimes it
seemed, more than her own breath and hearing those words from him, terrified her. Made her tremble the way she had, Analu feeling it against his chest
as he held her. What the hell had he done to deserve her? His angel, so fearful of losing him, that her entire body shook against him? He didn't. And
only now, since beginning this rocky, damned course to becoming the leader of his tribe, he knew it to be true. In high school, there had been so many
rumors, so much hate for Leah. The girls hated her because Analu couldn't see anything but her and the boys hated her...because they couldn't
hate him. That tiny, raised scar on the inside of his ankle that he had had since birth, that all the great leaders of his tribe possessed,
kept them at bay. So they would all spread rumors; lies, hoping, with careless, immature desire to break the future union. She only wants you
because you're an elder, dumbass. He only stays with you because he already owns you... And in his young stupidity, he believed the shit that
poured so freely from them.
But not anymore. Not now. Not since he'd understood why his Uncle had never taken a mate. It was hard. The love Analu and Leah shared was tainted by
the tribe and their "destiny" and dangerously difficult, threatening to break with the slightest of arguments...or actions. It was so difficult to
balance his duties and his family, even now. To be the mighty leader that the tribe wanted and to still be "Lu", the loving, doting boyfriend who
never raised voice, nor hand in anger was becoming harder and more impossible to separate by the day. The tribe did that. The pueo, the
kapuna elima, all of it did that. The tribe was the source. Brothers that hadn't talked for years outside of village matters, a husband that
stopped loving his wife with his heart and rather, with his hands and two kids, wrapped up in the cosmic bullshit that controlled their lives, fated
to be lovers and then have it all ripped away because the very thing that forced them together in the first place was threatening ripping them apart?
The fucking tribe. Fucking fate.
"Out grow you?" With a shock, Analu pulled his body away from Leah's and held her at arm's length. His face was completely confused, wondering where
it all had come from. Sure, they barely knew each other anymore because of Analu's ties to the silence of the Pueo and the circle of elders,
but had it gotten THAT bad? Sure, his anger was nothing short of "irrational" those days, lashing out, yelling at her for the simplest of things,
shaking her when he felt she wasn't heart him. But he didn't mean it. Any of it! He didn't meant to be unpredictable! He didn't meant to be...a
stranger.
"No." He simply said before his fingertips stroked the skin of her cherubic cheeks. "Never. Never anela. Never..." He wouldn't outgrow her.
If there was one thing that the gods, who he still struggled to pretend to believe in, blessed him with in all of the cosmic bullshit? It was
her. There was ONLY her. It would only EVER BE her. Didn't she see that? He never questioned her or his love for her, even if it was
"destiny".
"I don't need "fate" to convince me to love you. I will never stop loving you. Ever. Do you understand me?"
If there was one thing Analu was good at it was easing her nerves. Sure, there were times when it was he who got her upset, but he always knew what to
say to bring her back down. Leah liked to think it was because of what was left of their connection; Analu still knew what she needed to hear to make
things okay again...There were times when he reminded her of the old Lu. Her best friend Lu, the Lu that she had fallen in love with when they were
old enough to understand what love was, the Lu she was going to marry soon. That was the Lu she saw now, as his fingers came to softly stroke her
cheek.
Maleah leaned into his hand, his words of promise mixed with his touch causing her to shiver a bit. He would love her forever. Through the
Pueo, through the kapuna elima, through everything the tribe put him through; he promised to love her. That was all she needed to
hear...that was all she cared about. She and Analu had been together for far too long for her to imagine him leaving for good. Hell, him being gone at
night was almost too much for her. But it was necessary, and she knew it. And as long as he loved her she would make it through.
She turned her head, her lips meeting the palm of his hand before she turned back to look at him. "Prove it-," she said softly, a devilish smirk on
her lips, before her hand came to the back of his neck pulling his lips to hers in a kiss. She didn't want to argue anymore, she didn't want to dwell
on her insecurities, and she didn't want him to focus on anything but releasing the stress of his night and this morning in the most passionate way
she knew how.
You must do what you are ordered; for yourself and for your ohana.
The shiver Analu felt erupt through Leah's body underneath his touch to her skin let him know that he was getting through to her. Not that any of his
words were said for that purpose alone. His words were the truth, through and through. There had never, nor would there ever be, anyone more perfect
for him. There were the ones in the tribe that were consumed with jealousy, a lust for power or just pride. They believed they could be a better mate
for him. A better chosen. But no one could ever be her. No one knew him the way that Leah did. No one could reason with him when his temper
was high and his patience was low. And no one would stay with him when his temper was too much for her to ease and he ended up doing things that added
to the long list of things that he "regretted".
She was the one. The only one. When he hadn't understood what "leader" truly meant, before his boyhood gave away to manhood, he purposely caught the
eye and attention of other girls, just to fight against what he was told he "must do". Teenage rebellion was the culprit. But none of that mattered
because...because none of those girls could ever...be Leah. The ties that bound the two, he and Leah, together had to be more than just the order of
the tribe. Sometimes, they were enough to make Analu believe in the tall tales of the Mokukeiki. Especially the one about the First Human. Uncle Malo
had told him all about the first humans when he was a boy. How they had had four arms, four legs and two faces. Analu had always laughed at the
thought of a four-legged, four-armed human, seeing them as the crabs that scuttled along the black sands of Kai Pulehu. But those "crab humans" didn't
stay crabs for long. The god, Ku, grew jealous of them and split them in half, forcing humans to travel their entire life, in misery, looking for
their other half. The piece of "lost soul" that would finally make them complete. In the secret moments, when all was quiet in the dusk and his time
with the Pueo was finished for the night, he would look at Leah, lying beside him, and know. Know beyond a doubt that he was one of
the luckiest son of a bitches on the island because, by fate and the mercy of the gods, he'd found his missing part.
Leah's words made a smile erupt of his face. Prove it. Without resisting her, Analu let her pull his face to hers, their lips meeting and
tangling together impatiently. It'd been too long since he'd kissed her like this. Since he was with her long enough to do anything besides kiss her
on the forehead before he left her for the night. But now, in the end of an argument that he didn't mind abandoning, he was becoming less of a
stranger and more of her "Lu" again. The "Lu" that, instead of grinding his teeth at her "revealing clothes", loved them and especially loved how her
shorts showed off her swimmer's legs and that toned stomach that he couldn't resist caressing. He pulled her closer, his hand finding its way
underneath her shirt and up her back, across the tribal tattoo that he knew sat on her spine, his fingertips tracing the groove of the slightly raised
skin.
She missed him. Not just during the nights when he'd be away with the Pueo, but even now, as they stood together in the living room tasting
one another in a way they hadn't in weeks. She missed him just being there, the way he had been for a whole year when they first moved into this
little house; before this whole mess really got started. They were barely granted a moment together anymore, the Pueo calling for his
attention most of the time and sleep calling for the rest. Sure, some days when she didn't go in to the diner so that she could be there when he got
home, Maleah would watch Analu sleep; her lips stealing kisses from him while he did so. But that wasn't enough. She missed the time they used to have
together; times when he could kiss her back...as he was doing now.
A moan of hers filled his mouth as they kissed, their tongues dancing against one another. Leah had long forgotten their argument and secretly hoped,
as she always did when they made up, that it would be the last of them. It wouldn't be, of course. Not with the pressure he was under; the smallest
things set Analu off these days. The clothes she wore, if she was off schedule by even a second, the people she chose to talk to...She knew he worried
about losing her the same way she did him, so she understood. She understood and she stayed, through everything. The good. The bad. And even
the ugly.
And sometimes even the beautiful. Like what they were about to share now. Maleah couldn't help but smile as he kissed her, her teeth catching his
bottom lip and sucking at it as his hands crept under her shirt, the tips of his fingers tracing over the ink of the tattoo on her back. He whispered
to her, his happy compliance with her playful demand. Lu was more than willing to "prove it" to her and Leah was more than ready to have him do so. It
was her turn to have her hands slip under the hem of his black t-shirt, her nails dragging up the length of his torso as she pushed the shirt up.
"Take it off-," she whispered sweetly, her tone nothing like her actions. She couldn't remember the last time they'd had time for
this...Gosh, she still couldn't even bring herself to think the word! Her mother and father had drilled into her head the importance of
staying "pure and untouched" before marriage. They had told dozens of Mokukeiki legends, warning her about the wrath of the Gods should she lie with
anyone but her husband...but none of that mattered when Analu told her that was what he wanted that night. Sure, there was a little coaxing on his
part but really...he knew she'd do it. Maleah would do anything for him. Besides, like he'd told her, they we're basically married anyway right? The
Gods would forgive her.
And they would continue to forgive her.
You must do what you are ordered; for yourself and for your ohana.
Leaning into her more and more, the motion of their lips guiding him. Every pull from hers made him press his body into her harder, almost as if he
wanted to meld into her. Sink into the abyss of her. Meet their souls together again. For the first time in days, maybe weeks, Analu felt
peaceful. When the regular guy's heart may have been beating out of his chest, blood rushing to every limb of his body, Analu could swear
that his heart was slowing down. Every "lub" slower than the "dub" before. Wrapped up in his angel was where he found his peace. It was as simple as
that. Life in the tribe had ever nerve grating against its neighbor nerve, each ball of feeling shooting off in the agony of every task he was forced
to perform. Every night he was made to scour the Shore looking for threats to the tribe. Every moment the tribe stole his time away from Leah. Now,
his body could stop screaming out, stop tensing in anticipation of what would come next. He could forget all of that, for one solitary moment. There
was no stress, no obligation, no duty to fulfill when he was like this with Leah. Everything became as dull as the slow pound of his heart against his
ribcage.
The moan from her lips moved him, set him into motion as his lips found her chin and then the side of her neck, sucking at the soft, warm skin there.
His hands still touched her, sliding down to the place where the delicate slope of her back stopped and the band of her shorts began. He loved her
body. And even though most of the time he was too busy telling her to "cover it the hell up", he really couldn't get enough of touching her. Her skin,
as soft as the hibiscus petal. Her hair, so black and full that he was sure that it glowed. Especially in the sunset. The entire length of her, so
graceful when she walked and even more when she swam, her body jumping the waves, cutting through them without fear. He loved every inch of her
perfection. So perfect that it wasn't...right for other men to see her like he did. All of Leah was for him. Only for him. And he didn't mind
reminding her.
Feeling the vibration of her whisper, Analu pulled away from her, only for a moment. At her request, his shirt was over his head and on the floor,
embracing her before the heat of her body could completely fade from his. His chest pressed against her again, the softness of her breasts fully
pressing against his chest now. Their rekindled kiss growing firmer at that intimate touch, the urgency in his body reminding him of the first time
he'd touched her the way he was touching her now. The first time he had her. The first time. He'd never seen anything...so amazing before
that night. Never felt anything like it. Even at fifteen, he knew he'd just tasted heaven and though he'd gotten there by "not so innocent" means,
that didn't strip the moment of its significance. But he only told her what he believed and deep inside, he knew she believed it too. They were mated
for life, no matter what. And even though they had not been officially bonded, it was fate. It was already written. She would be his wife and he, her
husband. And every time she gave herself to him, with every thrust and every moan, she became his wife all over again.
Hungrily, Analu's hands pushed against her, moving her backwards as they kissed, until her back met the wall of their cluttered living room. Leaving
her lips for a moment, he placed his hand on the wall and hovered over her, his light eyes gazing at her. Without asking as she had, Analu's hand
slowly lifted the front of her shirt, moving under it to touch her breast, his fingers softly playing at the little nub that tightened beneath his
caress. Leaning closer to her, his lips touched her round cheek. "Tell me..."
"Tell me that you're mine. I want to hear you say it." He whispered, his lips caressing her as he spoke.
His body pressed into hers more and more as their kiss continued and Maleah could not have been happier. Leah couldn't remember when she'd been
happier than she was right at that moment. She had her Lu back. The man she often dreamed about when she wasn't able to hold him in reality. She loved
the way he touched her; his hands sliding slowly down her back to rest right above her butt as his lips left hers stopping to suck against her neck.
Another moan escaped, louder this time as his mouth no longer covered hers. He knew her spots and he knew that was one of them.
He responded to her sweet whisper, not with words, but with action, as he pulled away from her for just a moment to take off that shirt. She sighed,
satisfaction leaving her lips as she just took a second to stare at him. Damn...She knew there were girls in the Shore who wanted Analu for
his status. Those who were looking just to be the wife of an elder, but there there were others...the smart ones that really just wanted this
body. But they would go through life miserable, because he was hers. Hers and hers alone to just...look at. Gah, he was just perfect. If the
Pueo wasn't doing anything else for him it was keeping him in shape. Half of her just wanted to trace the lines and dips of his torso with
her tongue...the other half knew it was too soon and she would have her time soon enough...
Now was for Analu. He could have her however he wanted, where ever he wanted. He came back to her just as quickly as he�d pulled away, her chest
meeting his fully now, making her wish that her shirt were gone as well...again, in time. She remembered how patient he had been with her the
first time, his every touch, every kiss; his words, gentle. She�d had friends that told her not to expect much the first time. That it would
probably be awful and she'd pray for the days when she could call it a distant memory. They were wrong. Her time with Analu had been...indescribable.
There was no one word she could put to it that would sum the magic of their bodies' union. Leah liked to think that their bodies melded so easily,
because their hearts already had.
Like now as she took his cue, her feet moving slowly back as he pushed against her until her back pressed against the wall of their small living
room. Before she could stop him Analu took his lips from hers. Leah might have pouted if it weren't for the look he was giving her, his caramel
colored eyes meet hers as his hands came to the bottom of her shirt pulling at it so that his hand could slip underneath again. He began to play with
her there, his fingers toying with her, her back arching to meet him, as he leaned in to speak.
"Nau ko`u aloha*-,": she said softly, as she began slowly undoing his belt. "No keia la. No keia po. A mau loa**." She toyed with
the button on his jeans before pulling at the zipper. She turned her head, their lips mere incches apart as she spoke. "Now give me what I want..."
_________________________________________________
*My love is yours
**From this day. From this night. Forever.
You must do what you are ordered; for yourself and for your ohana.
She knew he was here. It was well past 10. He had been home for hours. He was probably in their bed, the weariness from the night lying heavy on him
until he succumbed to the rest he so justly deserved. Would she wake him now and tell him? Or wait until he woke on his own? How should she say it?
Was she just going to blurt it out, or find some way to hint to it and let him figure it out, or maybe she should soften the blow a little and tell
him gently? Bahh! These were the same questions that had been swimming around her mind while she was swimming around in the Pacific. She still wasn't
sure what she was going to tell him, she just knew she had to. She didn't want to be in this alone anymore. She should have told him she was going to
the hospital in the first place, but she hadn't. Now she couldn't rely on a doctor to tell them both, she had to do it herself.
Pushing open the front door to their home she stepped in quietly. Here she was, home, and she still wasn't sure whether or not she was waking him or
waiting...hmm. She'd wake him. She go back and kiss him awake and then share the news like it was something to be pleased about. That was an awful
thought. It wasn't that she wasn't happy to be having his baby, but it was far too soon and she knew how much it would stress him out, what with
having to tell the elders and all...But she was hoping that if she told him and put on a happy face, maybe...maybe he'd find some happiness in it
too.
She pulled at her hair tie as she passed the living room, her locks still somewhat wet from the ocean as they fell around her shoulders. She needed to
cut down on the tension and since she couldn't control what was really bothering her, her hair would have to do. She turned her head as she ran her
fingers through it and if she hadn't she might have missed the person she was looking for.
"Analu-," her feet stopped where they were. He was awake. Waiting. And the look on his face told her he wasn't pleased. "Baby, why aren't you
resting?"
Uh oh...
You must do what you are ordered; for yourself and for your ohana.
Analu's nostril's flared as he stared through the doorway of the living room, into the hallway and at the front door that refused to move. Refused to
open. Refused to fucking budge, Maleah's footsteps across the hardwood floor following its opening. How long had he been waiting? Waiting for anything
that looked like Maleah coming home? Checking the face on his cellphone quickly, the silence surrounding him so deep that he could feel it around him,
engulfing him and his anger...stoking it more and more with each second that ticked by. Four hours. It had been four hours. Four hours of
nerve-wrecking, heart pounding, gut-fucking-wrenching waiting. He'd gotten off duty with Pueo, his mind so fatigued that he thought he was
hallucinating when he walked in to their bedroom and found the bed made, Maleah's body no where near it or in it. Checking his phone, back to back,
leaving the house and walking to the restaurant, just to see if she'd gone in early. None of it turned up in "her".
This wasn't like her. To just disappear and not leave a message or...text him...or something! Even her own father hadn't known where she'd gone.
Scouring nearly the entire Shore hadn't told him where she'd gone. Again, none of this was his Leah. But, to be honest, none of the past few weeks had
been his Leah. She was different. Distant. Sleep half of the time, emotional the other half and then if there was any left over, moody as all hell.
They hadn't been able to say more than two words to each other without fighting and Analu was nearing his end. But this? Her disappearance? This was
beyond the last straw.
Hearing the click of the front door, Leah's Chuck's thudding against the floor, Analu only half-exhaled. Sure, she was home. But the fact that she
walked through the door only made him angry. No one carried her in, he hadn't gotten a call about her being hurt or in trouble. She'd been missing on
her own accord. And that did NOTHING to calm Analu. Instead, his eyes, fixed on the opening of the room, just waiting, waiting for her to walk past
him on her way back to their room. And without fail, there she was, her hair wet, stopping as she noticed him sitting on the couch, still in the close
he'd worn on duty. She had been swimming. Not a good sign.
Grimacing as she called his name, he talked over her next words. "Where...have you been?" His voice was steady, but there was obvious danger behind
it.
He was absolutely LIVID. His lips were a tight line and the tone of his voice was enough to send chills up and down her arms. The question was simple
enough, she wanted to know where she'd been. The hospital, taking a pregnancy test that turned out positive. That could have ended this entire
argument, but the look he was giving her had stopped the words she wanted to say in her throat. She had never seen him this angry. Not with her...then
again she had never disappeared without so much as a text message...but what was she supposed to have said in it? Hey Lu, went out for a pregnancy
test be back soon. It wasn't like she was going out for milk. This was bigger.
So big it was beginning to choke her. But she couldn't tell him like this. He was already excitable and the last thing he needed was more emotion on
top of whatever he had going on now. Lately, things between them had been rough, now of course she knew why, but he still didn't. She could only
imagine where his mind had wandered thinking of all the places she could've been. Was she dead? Was she alive? Was she hurt? He hadn't known, all he
knew was that his Leah was missing. She'd worried him. In an effort to keep him from stressing about one thing, she'd caused him to stress about
another. Great. Just awesome.
"Analu, just...calm down-," she spoke slowly. If looks could kill, she'd be dead right now. His eyes were literally burning into her in a way that
they never had before...it scared her. "I can explain if you'll let me..."
You must do what you are ordered; for yourself and for your ohana.
She would NOT do that. She would not tell him to "calm down" as if his reaction to her being gone most of the morning, without a word to anyone,
wasn't validated. With a scoff and a sour chuckle, he stared at her, watched her shift where she stood. Even though her voice was calm and her words
slow, he could see the nervousness rolling off of her and it made him sick. Sick with uncertainty. Everything had been so different, so unusual with
her lately. Sometimes he didn't know how the hell to take her. Her moods, their silence with each other...the distance that it caused. Nothing was the
same and he hated it. But now, now that she had completely vanished without a trace? He didn't know how to feel? Angry? Confused? Betrayed by the
possibility of what she could've been doing for four hours...or who she could've been doing it with? Yeah, he went there. She'd never been
this distant from him. Not even with all the shit with the Pueo and with the tribe and how different it was starting to make him, she had
never NOT been his anela. She was the consistent, even when everything around her shifted. Now, Analu knew. He finally knew how it felt to be
her...
"You don't get to tell me what to do." He spat, glaring at her. "Where were you?" Hesitation. More fucking hesitation. Finally, she spoke, telling him
that if he let her, she would tell him everything. He didn't need for her to calm him down with her words that meant nothing. He needed for her to
start talking.
"Then explain." Anger pulsed through him so violently that it was beginning to be impossible to just sit there, on that couch, staring into her for
the answer that had yet to come.
Of course she was nervous! They had been at one another for days now, bickering and fighting over the smallest of things whenever possible; both of
them on edge and at one another's throats. Now she had disappeared and given him a valid reason to be angry. In all honesty, she hadn't
expected him to ever find out that she was missing. She'd banked on him just assuming she was at the diner when he got home and turning in to sleep
for the morning. Obviously he had not. He had gone looking for her and when he didn't find her at the diner he probably went around the Shore looking
for her...only she wasn't there either. She really hadn't meant to worry him! She was actually trying to put his mind and hers at ease about this
pregnancy scare. Of course, it wasn't much of a "scare" anymore. It was very real. As real as the anger she could basically feel reverberating from
Analu.
He was right. She didn't have the right to tell him to calm down. She could have been anywhere, doing anything and he didn't know what to think. He
had the right to be angry, but she really couldn't handle all the extra right now. There was far too much on her plate for him to blow up at her about
this...so why couldn't she explain?
Even as Analu demanded it, her lips couldn't utter the words. She just kept opening and closing her mouth, knowing what she had to say, but unable to
say it. Two simple words that would explain everything to him. I'm pregnant. She was pregnant and she had spent her morning at the
hospital...alone...None of this was how it was supposed to be. Anytime she pictured them beginning their family, she pictured him being there. Every
step. And ecstatic about Leah being the mother of their children. This wasn't right. She couldn't tell him like this because it wasn't right...
Breathing deep she spoke, "I...I want you to go somewhere with me-," She took a few steps forward, entering the living room completely and stopping in
front of where he sat, crouching down so that she could look into his eyes. Her hands rested on his knees as she continued, "Please? I want you and I
to just...get out of this house. Get out of the shore for just a little bit..."
That was the source of his stress and if she took that away maybe both of them could calm down a little.
You must do what you are ordered; for yourself and for your ohana.
And there it was. More silence all over again. Analu was becoming incredibly tired of the exchange that seemed to keep playing between he and what was
supposed to have been his best friend. His lover. His future bride. Her fussing, his yelling, their arguing. It was all just too fucking much. He
didn't...know her anymore. Everything about her was so different now and all of the differences were beginning to outweigh what stayed the same. And
he was sure that she could say the same thing for him. The tribe was shifting him so much these days. Night duties got longer for him, mornings were
shorter as he spent most of them arguing with Leah or sleeping them away. Working at the gas station was done now, as his responsibilities were
growing every day. There was almost nothing...left for him outside of the tribe. No future, but the tribe. And it seemed that Leah was going the same
way, too. Especially now, her mouth as soundless as it had been when she'd walked through the door, no real explanation leaving it.
"Nice." He said in the silence. It was symbolic really. Maybe what Leah was trying to say to him with her silence was that she didn't have anymore to
say at all. There was no purpose for words. Maybe...just maybe, she was trying to tell him that she was done. And he couldn't blame her, even if that
possibility ripped through him with a pain so intense, he nearly winced as he watched her open and close her mouth, silently. Then, it came. She
finally spoke. Asking him to...go with her? What the hell did taking a fucking field trip have to do with what had been going on with her the past
weeks?!
"Maleah, what the..." Narrowing his eyes, he stopped mid sentence and watched her cautiously enter the room. His brow furrowed in confusion as she
crouched in front of him, her soft hands touching his knees. "Leah. What is going on? Ju-just tell me." A softness had taken his voice, the anger
leaving his eyes for what he could only say was "pleading".
Get out of the house? Away from the shore? Would any of that make a difference now? He couldn't pretend that he thought about it. It being life
without the tribe, without responsibility, without the Pueo and without being chosen. He wondered, if he and Leah had still been fated for each other,
how life would be. Would they both be students at KRU, taking classes together? Hitting up parties? Would they be completely ignorant of this adult
life that they, two kids...just kids, were forced to face? He sat for a moment, staring into her eyes, wishing...that she could see the pain he felt,
the confusion, the weariness and utter drain.
"Okay." He finally said, speaking at her through his gritted teeth. "Okay Leah..."
![[*]](images/davis/default_icon.gif){kind=icon}
