Smoke curled from his lips, the fragrance of the smoke reminding Koi exactly why he'd sat on that stash for as long as he had. His lips rounded,
letting go of three, perfectly circular O's. He smiled, leaning back on a pillow that lay on the over-sized chaise lounge, his legs over the side.
Fucking mind clearing heaven. This is what he and Devyn had needed all along. The entire evening, they'd been sitting on pins and rubbin' ass cheeks
with needles and all because...well, he really didn't know what was going on between them. The looks (more like "gazes" on his part) and shit were
enough...then they added a kiss to the equation, which fucked with Koi's brain even more than all that gazing did. Mainly because...he liked it. He
really fucking liked it, actually. More than he really should've, considering that they were doing the "friends" thing, per his request. And all this
fucking kissing and vibing was making him feel like the craziest, guiltiest, most selfish fucker on the planet. But the kush that was in the night air
was making everything confusing in his head seem like mist, fading away like the thick smoke that trailed from his lips and dissipated as it floated
towards the sky.
Lifting up his head a little, he glanced down at the foot of the chaise where Devyn was lying, her body balanced across the end of it. Her eyes were
closed as she lay there, on her back, but he knew it...she was thinking. What she was thinking about, he could've guessed...but she was definitely
deep in thought. She had been since they'd gotten outside. Without much more than two words, she rolled a thick one and they sparked, letting the weed
do most of the talking that they weren't really interested in doing. Because no one wanted to talk about what had just gone down in his living room.
No one. Not him and definitely not her as she'd been avoiding his eyes the entire time he watched her roll the blunt they were smoking. And he wasn't
talking about it because...because there wasn't really anything to discuss. Discussing anything that happened between them was too much like the type
of shit that happened in a relationship, not a friendship. So they could continue to avoid that shit with the most quietest of silences if that was
what it took. But Koi couldn't pretend that the avoiding was what had him a little shook as he sat there, watching Devyn's still body.
"Hey..." Leaning forward, he nudged her little, holding out the only thing that was making conversation between them, hoping that that brown
conversation starter would do its job. He offered it to her, watching as she took it from his fingers.
"We haven't talked all day, homie. And now that we can...we don't have shit to say?" Chuckling, he sat up, watching her for a response.
She could hear him, inhaling as the fragrant smoke of the J they were splitting before he pushed the spoke from his lips again, the short puffs making
her sure he was pulling tricks. A night like this was pretty par for the course for the two of them. She and Koi chilling, toking...that was who they
were together...Or at least it had been before today. Today made things different. Neither of them wanted to admit that they were feeling...well hell,
she couldn’t put a name to it but, she knew they were both feeling something that they were avoiding talking about. Talking would mean they had to
admit things they weren’t ready for. It would mean they’d have to admit that things between them weren’t what anyone would call a friendship
anymore. They were more than that.
She had kind of known they were more than that before though; back when they had what they had on the couch of his living room, in the midst of a
party, in something that should’ve been chaos...it wasn’t. She remembered that night, even if he barely did. Nothing about them had been sloppy.
The kisses, his touch, hers...everything had been...slow Or maybe she was crazy and completely wrong about everything, maybe they were what
she thought they were that night; high and horny as all hell. Nothing more or less than--oh.
Koi’s nudge shook her from her thoughts. Her head turned to look at him and she did. Look at him, that was. He looked good tonight, his face dimly
illuminated by the lights from the house and those that lit the pool. She blinked, realizing she’d been staring as she took the blunt from him and
just held it. She didn’t really want it...She sighed, still quiet as she sat up, her eyes straight ahead as she tried to think of something to say.
She had plenty but, none of it was anything he was going to like.
“I think I should go-,” Devyn said finally, her eyes slowly meeting his as she offered him the blunt back. Eri was gone and the day was pretty
much over...it was time...before she did something else stupid.
I'm taking my time.
I'm doing it right.
Self-Love. Self-Care. Selfish.
The "hey" from Koi's lips, a bit of a sound to break the silence that had fallen between them, did the trick, as Devyn's head turned in his direction,
her eyes looking at him, not the blunt in his hand. There was something...missing there. Matter of fact, there was something missing in that entire
moment. Chiefin' together, just Devyn and him...alone, it had never been as...awkward as it was at that moment. When they were together, the
way that they were now, it was...they talked. They joked. The conversation didn't end. Everything got talked about. From Gambino to fucking Family
Guy, not one subject went untouched. But that night, they weren't touching on anything. Everything felt like a damn disconnect and as she looked
at him, her eyes searching his face like she was...he didn't want to think about it. He just wanted her to take the J, toke that shit, and be his
chick homie, like she had been before.
Hesitantly, she took it from his hand, the corner of his lip raising into a curious smile as he removed his suit jacket, his eyes still watching her.
Noticing her...still holding the blunt, not even raising it to her lips. Throwing the jacket to the side, Koi scooted closer to where she lay on the
chaise, her arm lying across her stomach where her shirt had risen up, giving him a peek of the skin underneath. Almost as if she sensed his new
closeness, she sighed, sitting up, her eyes on the still water in the pool. Or maybe the pool house had caught her attention. Or the night sky.
Whatever she was looking at, it was obvious that she wasn't looking at him. Wasn't talking to him...and he couldn't help but wonder...did she even
know he was still sitting there? Even as she started talking to him, her voice sounded empty, like the words were coming out and...
"What?" Narrowing his eyes as Devyn's met them, he shook his head slowly. She wanted to go home? Home? The fuck? The night wasn't even over. And...and
they still had half a blunt to go! And...she wanted to go home? That wasn't an option. They were hanging and she just up and wanted to...damn. The
fuck had changed? The day had gone pretty damn well, if Koi could say so himself. She'd enjoyed herself. His little babe was near 'bout in love with
Devyn and...and they'd had a good time, right? Up until...the kiss had everything been kosher. And now she wanted to go home?
"Why? Night's just getting started...and..." Koi looked down at her hand, refusing to take that blunt from her because if he did, it would mean that
she was through. That she could just up and go. That the night was over and...Koi wasn't ready for that. He wasn't ready for her exit. Not yet. Not
like this...
"...and what if I'm not ready for you to go yet?" With a smile, he nudged Devyn's arm and chuckled. "For real, what's up homie? You're not even
talking. You're usually fucking Socrates with a J in your hand. Fuck's up with that?"
This wasn’t them. Usually she couldn’t get Koi to shut up about whatever subject the two of them deemed appropriate while they finished their J.
They could go on for hours about absolutely nothing, laughing and dicking around like everything was everything and nothing but the two of them
existed. She didn’t worry about her mom when she was with Koi, her father was the furthest thing from her mind, and unless they were actually
studying, schoolwork didn’t count for shit either. Those were the problems of tomorrow, shit she’d worry about later. With Koi, later didn’t
matter...or at least it hadn’t before. But now, with the kiss they’d shared, all she could think about was what was coming next. What it meant now
that they had shared a lip lock that neither of them could pretend didn’t mean anything. Where did they go from here? She didn’t know. Part of her
didn’t want to know. She knew Koi wasn’t one for relationships and it wasn’t like any of hers had ever ended well...ugh.
This was her dilemma. She wanted him...but she didn’t...but she did. She couldn’t sit here with him any longer, holding in all the things that
pressed against her lips screaming to get out. She liked him. She wanted him. She...had missed him. That had been the spark that started the fire when
they’d kissed. Her body missed his. The pull of his lips against hers, the grip of his hand on her hip as he held her in place while he tasted what
was his to have completely...Wait. What? Ugh! That was exactly what she was talking about! The fuck was that?! Koi was the homie, the bro. She
wasn’t supposed to be his, just like he wasn’t hers. She needed to get out of here. Just for the night. She needed to clear her head and
get her shit together because, she couldn’t keep thinking about Koi the way she was. It wasn’t going to work. He’d said so himself.
So why, then, did her heart break when she heard his confused ‘why’, his face covered by a puzzled expression waiting for the pieces of what she
was saying to fall into place. He didn’t want her to leave. They were still smoking and the night was still young. He didn’t understand and she
didn’t want to explain it. She didn’t know how to. She pulled her hand back, sure he wasn’t going to take the blunt as he spoke again, his words
questioning her the way his eyes had at first...but the words were deeper.
“Don’t do that-,” she said standing after he nudged her. Her tone was annoyed but she wasn’t. Not with Koi anyway. She was just trying to put
distance between herself and the conversation that was threatening to start without her consent. “Look, just take this-,” she said thrusting the
blunt back in his direction. “Enjoy but, I’m gonna be out. I’ve got...homework.” Lame. Extra fucking lame. That was a lame ass excuse
if she ever heard one and she knew he wasn’t going to buy that shit. Sighing she decided to do better...
“I really just don’t want to stay-,” she said slowly, her wrapping around her torso as her honey colored eyes found the ground. “I don’t
want to do something I’ll regret...something you’ll regret.”
I'm taking my time.
I'm doing it right.
Self-Love. Self-Care. Selfish.
Selfish? Yeah, a little. Flip that. He was selfish as fuck. Sometimes, when Koi looked outside of himself and really...glanced at the situation at
hand, he felt so damn selfish when it came to Devyn. He took all her time. They'd shared so much in the past couple of months that he really wasn't
sure what time they had spent apart. If it wasn't studying, they were chiefin'. If it wasn't chiefin', they were shootin' the shit with his boys. And
if it wasn't with his boys, it was just them...sitting in his room, fucking around with his Fender. Or laying on the hood of his car, silently
challenging each other's prowess with smoking tricks. But they had always been together, in his space...on his time. And he couldn't help but think
about all the things that she could've been giving up just to hang out with him, just to be "with him"...in the only way he would let her be. She
never talked about other friends (outside of her pussy ass cousin) and Koi couldn't even envision her hanging with anyone else because all her time
was spent with him. And it was definite that she didn't have a dude. If she did, there would've already been words between he and Koi with the way
they chilled. Other friends. A relationship. A relationship...all of that, she kind of missed out on, because of him. Not that Koi was asking her to
sacrifice everything else for him. She didn't owe him that and he didn't owe her shit either. There were no ties. No rings. No titles. And that was
the best way to keep it. Or that was the best way for Koi to keep it. Selfish...
Don't do that. Frowning, Koi watched Devyn get to her feet, her tone making his eyes narrow in confusion. What...the hell? And just like
that, from twenty to zero, his chick homie flipped the damn script. Actually, it really wasn't "twenty" with Devyn. It hadn't been twenty since they'd
left his living room for the backyard, her body distanced as soon as she sat on the chaise. Koi didn't think too much about it, not pressing the issue
since they'd just had a completely awkward moment together. But that was just it...they'd had it together. They were still a "they", as far as
friendship was concerned...right? Fucking wrong. That was what Devyn's actions were telling him, her body putting more distance in between them as she
stood there, irritation in her words.
"I don't want it." Shit...did Koi really hear his mouth say that? Had Koi Kidd just turned down a fat ass blunt for some building bullshit? Fuck yeah,
he had. Instead of taking it from Devyn's hand, he stared at it and then looked to her, his eyes cutting into her as she talked, a bull ass excuse
coming from her lips. Homework? Fuck that. They were on holiday break and when the hell did Devyn ever turn down a J for some fuck ass homework? Much
more, when did she ever turn him down for some fuck ass homework...
"You don't want to stay? The fuck did that happen, Dev? We're...we were having fun...right?" Were. Operative word. Were having fun. Before the kiss,
somewhere in between the gazes, the food, the presents...she'd been having fun. She'd been enjoying herself, her smile lighting up the whole damn room
with its warm glow. Now everything was going cold, her eyes avoiding his as he moved to the edge of the chaise, leaning forward on his elbows, just
staring at her as she spoke. She didn't want to do what? Something she'd regret? The fuck was she talking about? Koi couldn't even...fix in his
jumbled, disoriented head where all this shit was coming from. Left field sounded about right. Then again, there was the obvious. A kiss. Their kiss.
Something that both of them had been avoiding for so long and in just one moment, had welcomed back so willingly. They both had enjoyed it. He could
tell in the way her body pressed against his, how her moan seeped out from between her lips, slipping into her mouth like her warm, teasing tongue.
That fucking kiss...as good as it was, was screwing with her...and it was fucking with him...just as hard.
"You don't want to do...what're you talkin' right now?" Standing up, he looked at Devyn, hovered over her, his voice soft as he spoke. He didn't argue
with her. He wasn't about to start that dumb shit with her. She could get at it, but he wouldn't. Because something told him that arguing wouldn't do
shit except for give her more of a reason to just...leave. And she wasn't leaving. Not yet.
"Dude...I'm not getting you right now. It's not the kush. I swear it's not, man. I really don't get what you're...regret? The fuck, Dev? What would I
regret?"
She was being the complete and total opposite of what she was supposed to be with Koi. Usually she was pretty interchangeable with one of the guys,
just maybe a little more fun to look at. She was supposed to be chill and easy enough to figure out should she not just say what she was thinking,
which was rare. Now though? She was being a little bitch about this whole thing. A full-blown female in the department of emotions and this was
not supposed to be happening. Hell, it had never happened before! She’d been with guys before Koi and she’d still never been one to hold her
tongue. She said what she was thinking whether she thought they would like it or not. Terrance? Sloppy kisser. She told him so and it was a problem at
first, but she trained him to do things with that tongue that went way beyond kisses. See? Proof that the truth made things better...So why couldn’t
she just tell Koi what she was feeling? That wasn’t the part she was confused about; she knew for a fact that she wanted Koi as more than a friend.
She’d know that when he suggested the friends thing after his apology in that empty classroom. What she didn’t know was what he was thinking about
the whole thing. She wasn’t sure what his reaction would be...but she shouldn’t have cared!
This was dangerous. His opinion of her was more important than it should have been and that was just another reason that she should leave before she
did or said something that completely fucked her over..because whether he could see it or not, being away from him now, would mean she could be
natural around him later....But he wasn’t letting her leave! Heaving an aggravated sigh she shook her hand a little for him to take the blunt from
her. He didn’t want it? Since when did that shit happen?! This was the perfect fucking J! Her eyes narrowed as she watched him, her hold on the
smoke becoming lighter before she let it drop. Fine. She didn’t want it either...fucking tragic...
She just couldn’t stay here! She knew he knew why so, why was he making her stay? And now he was mad at her, the curses coming before he asked the
ultimate question. We were having fun right? Damn. She stayed quiet, pulling her bottom lip in as her eyes looked at everything but
the person speaking to her. Sure she could admit to the day, that was easy. Eri was a treasure and she’d had a lot of fun with her but...Koi...Koi
had been different all day. He could pretend he hadn’t been sending signals if he wanted to but she had received every last one of them...and sent
back a few of her own; that kiss being the most obvious. Sure, they’d had fun but...was she willing to just be “fun” for Koi? That girl he’d
slept with the night of his party had been “fun”, so Derrick had so eloquently told her in the process of telling her it should have been
her...She wasn’t “that girl”. She wasn’t the girl guys just had “fun” with. Every guy she’d been with had been hers. Full on and
outright. They had been a couple and everyone knew what was what...Koi didn’t want that and Devyn wasn’t for “fun”.
She tuned back into what he was saying as he stood, coming to hover over her as he spoke softly, an immediate change from what she was sure would’ve
been a fight that ended in him telling her to man the fuck up and quit this feelings shit. But he hadn’t. He was being...sweet. He wanted to
understand what they would regret...
Without lifting her head her gaze shifted, falling on his face as she gave him a little bit of a side eye. Why now of all times would he choose not to
be a complete ass and yell at her like she was expecting? She couldn’t help the small smile that crept to her lips, as her head lifted, her hand
coming to the back of his neck before he could protest and pulling his lips to hers. Fuck it. Fuck it all. If he didn’t want her to leave she
wouldn’t go, but if he got what he wanted she damn sure was getting what she wanted...and shit was she. She heard herself whimper as her
tongue slipped into his mouth, her lips dancing against his as they kissed. This time it wasn’t her fault.
She said she wanted to leave.
I'm taking my time.
I'm doing it right.
Self-Love. Self-Care. Selfish.
Confusion was the theme of that night as once again, Koi was wrapped up in so much confusion that it felt like he was swaddled in that shit, the
complexities of it compressing around him so fucking tight...damn, he was too high for this shit. Elevation had set in during their unusual quiet
moment, passing the J between each other in the silence, and now that he was there, feeling what they'd just smoked, there was her voice, breaking
through all of that silence, talking some serious shit. She wanted to leave. She didn't want him to regret some nameless thing that hadn't even
happened. And as far as he knew, she was...shutting down. Like he'd never seen her do before. Yeah, they got in their fights, they cursed each
other out on occasion, but she'd never shut down on him. She'd never refused to look at him...until that night. What was up with her? The kiss, right?
Fuck. It was just...it was just a kiss! A kiss that made every nerve ending in Koi's body spark and set on fire, just from the touch of her lips.
And...and he could see exactly why she would be trippin' if it was about that. But the kiss had already happened. It had already made its appearance,
thanks to Eri, and it was over. And as much as he wanted to revisit it again, it was behind them with no chance of a reunion. What else was there?
What else had his chick homie bunchin' in the panties?
Looking down at her, his face contorted by his confusion, he searched hers for an answer, even if she wasn't giving him any eye contact. What had her
so damn would up, avoiding looking at him like he had some type of...growth coming out of his forehead. Koi couldn't ignore the fact that this just
wasn't her. Even though he'd seen her angry with him, remembering the pain from her anger more often than not. In laymen's terms, his balls
still hurt. But even with her kicking him like a football player puntin' a pigskin across the fucking field, there was something different in
this anger. In the cafeteria, she'd been defending herself from one of Koi's shittier come downs. That shit had almost made him swear off "X" for the
rest of his life. This time, it was different...even though he was sure Devyn was was still defending something...fighting to keep something from
him.
"Dev..." He called her name, standing there, staring at her. Waiting for her to just...stop with this bullshit and open up to him...something that she
hadn't really done since the moment they started hanging. Sure, he knew about her bitch ass cousin and her aunt. He knew about her life in KR, but
everything else? He didn't have a damn clue. She stayed so fucking closed off to him...not like he'd required her biography just to chill with her.
None of that had mattered before. Now, it was different. She was drawn. Her responses avoiding the issue in front of her. He wouldn't avoid it though,
his eyes staying on her as she finally looked up at the sound of her name. For a second, they just...connected. Her eyes scanned his face before a
small smirk broke on her lips. A soft smile broke on his lips too, mimicking her mysterious one.
"Wha-..." Koi began, his head tilting at the confusion that still existed, his question was interrupted by the hand on the back of his neck...by her
lips against hers. By her soft whimper as she pressed her mouth, roughly, against his, her tongue slipping between his lips. Shit. Pressing
his lips into hers, he returned it, threefold, his lips pulling at hers as his hands found her back, pushing her into him, fingers trailing down to
her waist like they were bookmarked there, waiting for the chance to visit again. This was what she was talking about? Something that he would regret?
How the fuck would he regret...this? Okay, what they were doing probably wasn't what most people would call a friendship. Friends didn't usually kiss
friends. And they sure as hell didn't have the thoughts that he had playing out in his head about friends, either. Thoughts that involved taking their
kiss further, which he wouldn't do. This kiss...it was...something that he'd wanted since they nearly got at each other at his party. No, he wasn't
thinking about regretting this. He didn't regret it at his party and he didn't regret it now. The only thing he did regret was...not kissing her again
as soon as they stepped into his backyard.
She didn’t care. No piece of her cared what she and Koi called one another right at that particular moment. She didn’t want them to be
friends, or enemies, or acquaintances, or whatever. There were no titles attached to what they were about to do. Here. Next to his pool. As
she kissed him, one hand pulling him impossibly closer to her while the other rested on his chest, she knew where this was leading. The same place it
had been the night of his party, except this time there were no thirsy bitches just waiting for her to turn her back so that they could invite
themselves to her party. It was she and Koi, alone. And that was the way she’d wanted it from the beginning.
Devyn heard herself moan as his hands found her waist like they always did and all she could think was more. More tongue, more touching,
more...him. The last thing she wanted was to make things weird between them but, the second to last thing she wanted was for him to stop. She
never wanted to stop tasting him, and honestly...how bad could it be? What was a little sex between friends? It wasn’t like people stopped
associating with one another after sex...hell, speaking from experience, this could only make things better between them...right? Unless it was
bad...Nah, who the hell was she kidding. She’d gotten a taste the night of his party and tonight she was getting a lot more than that.
Her feet shifted, turning so that her back was to the chaise they had been sitting on before she’d started this. Their lips never disconnected as
she sat, Koi leaning over her as she laid back against the plush lounge. He would stop her if this wasn’t right, right? He’d say that something
like corny and they’d laugh off this kiss a lot easier than they had the other one, right? If this wasn’t what he wanted, he’d say they had to
stop and that she was right before and that she should leave and he would save them from themselves. That was the moment she was waiting for, that was
when she would tell herself to stop and she would pry herself away from him, away from this.
Until then, she would do as she pleased. The consequences of what this night could mean a distant thought.
I'm taking my time.
I'm doing it right.
Self-Love. Self-Care. Selfish.
There were two sides to every situation. Koi believed that. And the two sides were simple, drawn out so that there was no mistaking them. The right
thing and the wrong thing. Niggas liked to pretend that the choice was easy. Black was wrong and white was right, the decision easy enough to make
without facing a battle that ended up tearing you in two. In his life, there'd been a lot of confusion between the two. Koi wouldn't lie about that
shit, not like other dudes did. The right looked so wrong...so often. And the wrong just couldn't stop looking like shiny, verifiable "right". So much
so that he couldn't tell the difference...and a lot of the time, he didn't want to tell the fucking difference. Because the inside of him, it always
wanted to choose the opposite of correct. The opposite of white. The opposite of appropriate...the good. He was attracted to it. Anything
that went against the grain, that wasn't the norm, that wasn't would keep his name off of the eternal list of heaven shoe-ins, he was bound to do it.
It was like the need to do the hardest thing was etched in his damn skin. In his DNA or some shit...and that shit sounded more like right than
anything else did. Mostly because it sounded real familiar. And every time he thought that way about himself, the words his thoughts carried sounded
like the stupid shit that came out of his Pops' mouth. Words that gave up blame for anything. Words that put everything on everyone else...when he was
he one that should've been taking responsibility.
Would he take the blame for all of this? When this shit was over, where would he be? Blaming Devyn because he wanted to do wrong...again? Wrapped up
in Devyn the way he was, his head blanking out the feeling that was starting to spread all over him...like he was lowering himself into an ice cold
bath. A shit load of dread. The obvious common sense trying to get his damn attention so that he'd do the right thing and stop bullshitting with
Devyn. Because this was wrong...right? Devyn was his homie...for sure. He'd gotten close to her than he had anyone in a hella short of time and
considering the way they started out, it was a fucking miracle. She was cooler than most and...she was his friend. And now they were kissing? Touching
each other like friendship had never even crossed their minds? This shit was cray. What they were doing? This was...
Biting at Devyn's lip as his hands continued to pull her into him, he felt her moving back...felt her lowering herself onto the chaise where all of
this shit had begun. Full circle. Just like what was happening with them now. His body hovering over hers as she lay back on the lounge chair, her
hands still pulling at his neck..her lips pulling at his like they had the night of his party. His body beginning to respond...just the same. Blood
rushing, fingers tingling...the kush mixing with the high her body was causing as it lay beneath his. Brushing the loose fabric of her skirt over her
thighs, Koi's hands touched her thighs, the warmth of her skin heating his palms as he held on to her, parting her legs. There was no hesitance in the
way his body came to lie between them, his chest pressing against hers.
A low moan left his mouth, leaving her lips. His kiss trailing down her chin...her neck and turned into a soft suck as his mouth met her collar bone.
He loved the taste of her, loved the way her skin felt as his tongue caressed it. The thoughts he'd had about their friendship were a little quieter
now that he was touching her skin again. So quiet that in a few moments, he was sure they wouldn't even matter. He wouldn't give a fuck. Because as
good as she felt...as much as he wanted to keep touching her...as much as he'd thought about doing this from the very second she walked into his
house...none of this could be wrong. Not tonight.
Right, wrong, indifferent; Devyn couldn’t bring herself to care which way was up as Koi kissed her, his tongue dancing against hers as if they’d
done this more than once before. They should have. Why had she let him talk her into a friendship that she knew she didn’t really want? Not that
their friendship wasn’t great, it was; Koi was her ace. Koi was her first enemy in Kapuhai Reef and amazingly enough he’d become her first friend
too. They’d spent countless hours together doing absolutely nothing and everytime she left him she found herself doing stupid shit like wondering
what he was doing without her and laughing to herself about whatever irrelevant topic they’d discussed that day...She should have known. She should
have known they’d end up here, his hand holding her hip as he hovered above her, her hands begging him to come closer as their kiss continued. Koi
and Devyn seemed to be the only ones that couldn’t see their friendship for what it was...lacking. Her friends noticed, constantly teasing her about
all the time she spent with him; his friends saw it too, the flirting near a minimum compared to the first time he brought her around; hell, even his
baby sister noticed and she’d only been around for a few hours! They weren’t supposed to be friends, they were supposed to be more...and the more
he touched her, the more clear it became to Devyn.
She moaned out, her back arching underneath him. Every inch of her body seemed to have been ignited by what they were sharing now, her skin flushing
as Koi quickly bit her lip, sucking on it before another moan fell into his mouth, a sharp sigh following as his hands met her thighs. One of her legs
fell around his waist as he parted them, pulling his hips to meet hers. She felt herself shiver a little as his lips left hers and it had less to do
with the soft breeze that caressed the two of them and more to do with the moan that came from him as his lips moved to her neck, his kiss turning to
a suck the lower he got. She couldn’t take this...
The hunger, her weakness, his teasing...Her hands slipped between them, undoing the buckle on his belt before pulling at his shirt to untuck
it. She let her fingers slip beneath the fabric of his v-neck and as his lips left her collarbone and began nipping at her neck, her nails lightly
raked over his back as hers arched once again. His name escaped her, mixed with a soft whimper of pleasure. God. Could they just do this
already? She was ready to beg for it, her bottom lip between her teeth biting back telling him just how weak he was making her. Instead she brought
one of her hands to his, moving it to her inner thigh. A silent request before her verbal one.
“Touch me, Koi-,” she sighed, licking her lips before her teeth caught her lower lip again, a moan become what was left of her request. He got the
gist anyway...Fuck...
I'm taking my time.
I'm doing it right.
Self-Love. Self-Care. Selfish.
The quiet was lush. The silence in between her moans and the sounds of their lips meeting, parting against each other...that was all Koi wanted to
hear. And that hush in between the sound was inviting, so much better than the voice of his lame ass conscious. Talking shit about how maybe this
wasn't were it was at...how maybe he and Devyn needed to cool it for a couple of seconds. Man, fuck all that. The wonderful thing about his Pops'
fucked up genes was that it was so easy to turn down the voice that was pleading in the back. The one that ruined all the damn fun. The one that spoke
a shit load of knowledge and said a lot of other shit that no one wanted to hear right now. That shit was on "min" and Devyn's moans were on
"max"...so tuning the voice of reason out wasn't too hard. Especially not with her body rolling underneath him, her chest lifting his with the
strength of her pleasure. His eyes closed in the intensity of it all...loving the way her leg hooked around his waist...and tightened every time his
lips touched her skin.
Pulling back, he felt her hand between them...and then on his belt, unfastening it quickly, her hand going inside of his shirt. He sucked in air
through his teeth when he felt her nails meet his skin, grazing at first and then pressing down lightly. Fuck, that drove him crazy. Her fingers, her
lips...her crying out for him. Saying his name. All of it...he loved how anxious she was...they were. How everything about that night was
like the night on his couch, her straddling his waist, her pulsing for him...he, throbbing for her. Good fucking fuck...it was insane. They wanted it
so bad and it'd taken this long for either of them to admit it again. Not with words, just the physical. Her whimpering moans. The way the tip of his
tongue was teasing the side of her neck. The way it turned into a suck all over again. It was the wanting her. The need for him. It said enough. And
when her hand moved his to the inside of her thigh...he didn't need to words that followed. He knew what she wanted. He'd known from her first moan
what she wanted because he wanted it too.
Nodding slowly against her neck, his nose brushing against her as he gave her a wordless answer to her request. He didn't hesitate. He didn't want to
play the tease game with her. If she wanted his fucking hands, she'd get them. And when she wanted more, she'd get that too. Brushing her skin, his
hand rubbed all the way to her warmth, following the heat like a fucking trail. And for no reason at all...he hesitated. Why...he didn't know. Because
he knew what she wanted. He knew what she needed...what his hands wanted to touch. What they'd wanted to feel from the second they got busy at his
party. But he was...slowing down? Yeah, slowing down. Not stopping.
Leaving Devyn's neck, Koi hovered over her again, his eyes meeting hers. Just watching her...looking at her face as she licked her lips...her teeth
catching the fullness there. And he watched her reaction...when his fingers pushed her panties aside and touched her...finally. His brow furrowed as
his fingers swam in her, rubbing there as he let them coat themselves in the wet she held between her legs. Pushing inside of her slowly, he lowered
his lips to hers for a moment, his fingers building a rhythm as he leaned against her...harder, held her down.
"I know this shit feels good..."He whispered against her lips. "But you're gonna wake the neighborhood up, Dev." Kissing her lips lightly, his pace
quickened as his head fell forward, meeting hers...his lips pressing against her forehead.
Was it really that quiet out here? She felt like everything was amplified and she couldn’t hear anything over his breathing and her moans. It was
just the two of them, in this world they had created for themselves. She couldn’t remember; was it always like this? Not the sex. Obviously not the
sex but, when they were together they always did this, where it was just her and him and they were wrapped up in whatever the subject was. It was
never this intense though...was it? Couldn’t have been. It had to be the sex. It was clouding her senses, her memory, and her fucking judgement. She
knew this wasn’t right. She knew what she and Koi were supposed to be and she knew what doing this would make them but, she’d already decided that
she didn’t care. She didn’t care about their titles, she didn’t care about the after....all she cared about was right now. Here. With his hands
playing at her thighs while his lips sucked at her neck, surely leaving something she’d have to hide from her aunt before she got home.
Why did she feel like everything between them was so familiar? She felt like she and Koi had done this so many times before, his every touch just
light enough to have her on the verge of begging but, heavy enough to leave her skin hot wherever he touched. He wasn’t...the usual.
Nothing about Koi was like the other guys she’d been with. Most of them were all hands, groping and grabbing for whatever they could touch with no
regard for whether it was working for her or not; or, if she was lucky they cared a little and they were...meh, okay in the sack but, complete
assholes and with her for her father. Koi was none of those things...all the time. She could admit to him being an asshole every now and again but,
with him between her thighs like he was, she couldn’t figure out whether or not she saw that as a problem. She wasn’t sure about much of anything
right now but she knew she needed him to fucking touch her.
He nodded at her request, his hand trailing up her inner thigh as soon as the words left her lips. He was ready too. Anxious, fucking wired. She’d
known that a while ago honestly. Wasn’t much of a secret what with the tent his pants had pitched...All systems were...go? He stopped. She wasn’t
sure why but she felt it, the hesitation in his touch. Her body was writhing, her hips making soft circles below him, an ache forming and
begging to be dulled. Why was he--.
She gasped, her lips rounding, as he pushed two fingers into her painfully slow. Her moan was much louder this time, his name on the end of
it as he leaned into her again, his fingers sliding out as her hips rolled to push them in again, their bodies building a rhythm to the music they
were making. His lips touched hers but they didn’t kiss; he spoke instead. I know this shit feels good... She smirked. This cocky son of
a...he was right though. That shit was getting her hella right like no blunt ever would; even with the shit Koi rolled. His fingers had been the best
high she’d had thus far...What? What was he saying? Neighbors? Ha. She felt his fingers quicken, a short moan on her lips yet again as her fingers
dug deeper into his back.
“Baby, fuck your neighbors-,” she said just loud enough for him to hear. “I wanna see if you can get me screaming...” He was off to a
good start.
I'm taking my time.
I'm doing it right.
Self-Love. Self-Care. Selfish.
The whispers between them made Koi smile, especially Devyn's dirty mouth, telling him in a couple of choice words that she didn't care what his
neighbors thought. And real talk? Nor did he. His neighbors were mostly retirees, real old fogies with gray hair and hearing aids turned up too mother
fucking high. They heard everything. They heard roaches fart. And when Koi was partying, they heard everything then too. By now, the cops just stopped
coming when they called because very few fucks...if any were given when it came to Koi and how he partied and how his neighbors felt about
said partying. The real concern? Eri. His little babe was upstairs sleeping and just like his decrepit neighbors and their fucking, bionic
ass ears, she could hear...very well. Koi only used "the neighbors" because he didn't want to mention the name "Eri" to Devyn right now. He was pretty
damn sure that she was still mentally kicking her own ass for kissing him like that in front of his little sister. But damn, Koi couldn't even be
twisted about it. If it wasn't for that kiss, he wouldn't be deep inside of Devyn's secret, breaking the code to that shit like it was a mother
fucking National Treasure. She was too damn ready...and if experience taught him something...it was to make it happen. No waiting in this game. Even
if it meant getting it started out here and then finishing in his room, he'd do that shit. They weren't having a replay of the last time he had her in
this position, body calling to him...speaking his language like her body spoke fluent moan.
"Scream? Anybody can make you scream..." Again, his lips moved against hers, hesitating so that he could suck on her bottom lip quickly. Almost as if
his fingers were telling her accepted the challenge, he moved them quickly, his thumb circling her the swollen nub between her lips. Her body bucked
towards him, his smile growing until his teeth were showing. "...I'm aiming for 'speechless'..."
Pulling his lips away from hers, his kiss lowered to her neck again, a quick bite there before his mouth left her skin. He sat up, but he didn't stop
touching her, his free hand moving her skirt out the way, the side of her panties showing. He pulled at them softly, taking his other hand from her so
that he could remove them, her hips aiding him as she lifted her lower half from the chaise, her eyes watching as Koi lowered the only thing really
separating her from his full touch. They moved down her legs, over her ankles...over her boots. Koi pushed them underneath his leg, just in case she
needed access to them really quickly. In other words, if someone rolled up on them, those shits didn't need to be visible.
Biting his lip, his fingers with back to her as his body lowered to the side of the chaise, his hands steering her body, angling her with where he
knelt. Pushing her skirt further up her legs, he uncovered her. She came into full view and Koi couldn't even lie...his mouth about watered on the
spot. Opening her legs, his eyes connected with hers, even as he gave her another slow rub. Even as he lowered his head to her, kissing her lips
softly before he parted them, his mouth covering the tiny nub...his fingers going to work between her thighs.
His neighbors? She knew now how he’d felt when she mentioned them getting arrested for trespassing. Who gave a dry fuck? His neighbors were
the last of her concerns, their opinion on what was happening in Koi’s backyard not even relevant to the moment. What was were the things they were
saying to one another, the way their hands were exploring each other’s bodies, the way his lips sucked against her neck...the way his fingers were
working her. Fuck the neighbors. The neighbors weren’t the ones that would be, a hopeful 7-inches deep in her in a minute. This was going to be
nothing like the last time they were together. His party had been a mistake that neither of them wanted to make again and Koi was taking all the
proper steps to make sure it didn’t. Saying all the right things...Anybody could make her scream? She begged to differ. She hadn’t met a man yet
that walked around with that much talent. Koi was already proving to be what she thought from the beginning. Different. She still couldn’t pinpoint
what it was that made her think that but, she was pretty sure he was putting his finger on it now, her hips bucking in reaction to his thumb playing
at her clit. Her breaths came in short gasps, his fingers still moving inside her as he finished whatever the hell he was say--speechless? Was that
right? She couldn’t help the smile that found her face as a giggle escaped her. She should’ve known he’d be like this. She wasn’t sure if he
was cocky or confident but she was sure she liked it.
She brought a hand to the back of his head as his kiss moved back to her neck again, before he sat up completely, his hand pushing her skirt higher
as he continued playing with her. He let her have just a little more fun before she felt him tugging at her boy shorts, his fingers slipping out of her as her hips rose to help him get them off. She liked watching him, watching her, his eyes trailing
over the skin that his fingers brushed pulling her panties down and then off completely, tucking them away. She didn’t know where he’d put them
and she honestly didn’t care. All that mattered was that they were off and Koi was on. Everything he was doing was so fucking right and
watching him kneel at the side of the chaise had her thinking that things were about to get so much better...
Pulling her to the edge of the lounge chair he spread her legs, opening her to him as his eyes found hers. The smirk on her face matched his as he
lowered his lips to hers, kissing her lightly before--Ahhhh. Her back arched off the chaise, both of her hands quickly coming to the back of
his head as a moan louder than the previous few escaped her, punctuated by a short stream of ‘fucks’. That was the only word that she could think
of to describe what she was feeling but, even that wasn’t strong enough. No where near it.
“Ooh, Koi-,” his name slipped from her lips as her body jerked a bit in response to his tongue. She didn’t have shit to say, she just wanted to
say his name. She wanted to scream it, her bottom lip tucked between her teeth keeping her relatively quiet. She was fine thinking of his neighbors if
it meant he wasn’t stopping. Not yet...
I'm taking my time.
I'm doing it right.
Self-Love. Self-Care. Selfish.
Devyn was really making it hard. Hard to care, that is...her back arching off of the lounge as her moans seeped from her body about as sweetly as the
taste between her thighs did. Her hands pressed at the back of Koi's head, pushing him further into her soft folds, asking for more without saying a
word. He let her push him in. He'd go as deep as she wanted him to...and without a single complaint. Koi Kidd? Diving right in that shit with no
complaints? That wasn't usually his style. Not like he was one of those one-second type guys who was on the look out for his own ass, not worrying
about what he was plowin' into. Or the type that sat in "the good" for less than an inhale before they were losing themselves all over the girl they
were with. That...was lame as fuck and he was not that dude. He got his...and in the process, the girl he was with got hers too...because he put in
work. But he didn't take demands. He didn't fuck that way...literally. He wasn't Burger King and random ass girls didn't get it their way because it
wasn't that type of party. Any girl he fucked could hit up the boyfriend she probably had for that type of shit. But that night...with Devyn? She was
saying all the right shit and...fuck...she was asking so nicely, her purr hitting his ears in all the right ways. The way her hands felt on
the back of his head, her fingertips grazing his skin through his low fade, her legs pushing against his hold as she tried to close her thighs against
the sensation he was making. She could have asked him for the world and he just might have lassoed the shit and brought it to her.
A quiet settled between them and Koi could tell that she was biting her lip to keep herself silent. Between the near-stifled moans and her quick
breaths, it was working. But in the muted sound, her body was talking the way her mouth couldn't. Her legs quivered underneath Koi's grasp, parting
easily as he pushed down harder on them, his body coming to hover over her. His mouth refused to leave her, his back bending as he lowered his head
more into her, teasing her with his lips as he rolled them over the swell between her lips. She...was so...good. The taste of her making him go a
bit...stupid in that shit. Turning tricks that he swore his mouth didn't even know HOW to do. But her body responded to them like they were second
nature. He couldn't do this much longer. If there was one thing he knew, waiting was what fucked them over the first time. Pretending like time was on
their side before reality came back in, crashing the party like KRPD. Pretty soon, one of them was going to stop the other. One of them was going to
remember that they were homies and that anything more wasn't a fucking possibility. One of them was going to be smart and...that shit was fucking
awesome.
Taking in her lips, he sucked on them, pulling at them before his hand left her thigh and his fingers found the inside of her again. His name. His
name just left her mouth and it sounded like...a fucking bird song or...damn. He lost himself with that one, his mouth growing hungrier for her,
especially when her body starting moving against his mouth, her hips moving in time with his fingers. She was getting close. And he was already there,
where all that fucking teasing was done and action was about to start. His other hand left her thigh as he found the clasp to his pants, moving the
buckle of his already unfastened belt aside. He pulled himself up, his entire body hovering over her as her legs closed around his sides, his loosened
pants falling from his waist as one of his knees wedged under one of her legs. He laid his body against her, lips meeting hers...and the imprint in
his boxer briefs meeting the warmth between her thighs. He moaned softly into her mouth as he pressed himself against her, his hardness pushing at her
through the fabric. This was the closest they'd ever been. Not chiefing, not shooting the shit...nothing had had them this close to each other.
Nothing had their moans synced, their hearts beating at the same speed, their bodies heating up with the same feverish hotness. Nothing they had
shared yet had had this this ready...
Sucking at her bottom lip, Koi's hand pulled at the side of his own underwear, his length still pressing against her through the cloth that separated
them. It wanted out. Koi wanted it out...and as soon as it was out...he was going to work. Fuck stopping. Fuck looking for a goddamn rubber. He just
wanted to go in real quick, get a quick taste and then they could go upstairs, wrap his shit up and he'd finish the job. Feeling the sudden freedom of
his boxers leaving him, he shuddered softly, his forehead touching hers as he guided himself to her and...
His body froze. His attention was divided that quick as his head shot up, his eyes staring at the house through the darkness. Moving his face from the
kisses that Devyn was placing on his chin, his eyes didn't leave the door leading to the backyard from the house. He'd seen it. The motion night
lights that came on whenever someone entered the kitchen at night. Eri was up. Pushing himself off of Devyn faster than he could explain, he
adjusted himself, fastening his pants as he hovered over her.
"Ah fuck. Get up. Dev...come on. You gotta get up, homie..."
She could feel it in the tips of her fingers, the sensation he was making between her thighs reverberated through her entire body, her hushed whimpers
and sighs of pleasure the only sounds between them outside of the low moans that escaped Koi every so often. Why was it that the things that you knew
were wrong always felt so right? She and Koi shouldn’t have been here. They shouldn’t have been together in the way they were, his tongue rolling
over her like he was trying to see how many licks it’d take to get to the center of her tootsie pop while her hands scratched lightly over his fade,
practically begging him to continue. He was amazing. She wouldn’t dare tell him that, not with how big his head already was but, it was
truth. Pure, unadulterated truth that could not be denied. Just like she couldn’t deny him now, her mind’s quiet whispers of why this was so wrong
overpowered by the sound of her heart pulsing in her ears. The electricity Koi was sending through her body wouldn’t allow her to think in complete
sentences anyway so what was the point? They hadn’t properly fucked yet but she was on the verge of begging for it...if only she could speak...
She felt her body shiver as his hands pushed her legs further apart, his body rising to hover over hers as he somehow leaned deeper into her. She let
a short moan escape, her lip slipping from the hold her teeth had on it. Oops. It wasn’t as though she could take it back though and it
wasn’t like she wanted to. He liked that shit. She knew he did with the way he reacted, his tongue doing things she would do no justice in trying to
describe. She tried to quiet herself again but it was damn near impossible, her cries coming faster and growing increasingly louder as he continued,
his name falling from her lips in a stream, a sporadic curse or “oh” finding a place in said stream whenever she felt herself come close to
peaking. It happened pretty often. Especially as his fingers found the inside of her again, her hips beginning to move in time with them almost
immediately.
She was so close, one of her hands squeezing at her breast wishing more than anything that her shirt would simply evaporate. It wasn’t going to and
she wouldn’t dare ask him to move so she could get it off. She wasn’t as pressed to be without a shirt as she was for what was coming next, his
lips leaving her set below as his body rose to kiss her, her taste still on his tongue as their lips melded again, her arms encircling his neck as she
pulled him further into the kiss. A moan fell into his mouth as she felt his length press against her center. Why wasn’t he inside her yet?! She
couldn’t take it, “Fuck me-,” a breathless request to be taken. Right there. At that very moment. She didn’t care about any kind of title and
she gave a fuck about a rubber right about now, she just wanted Koi knocking the bottom out of her shit. She felt his hips shift and as his forehead
fell against hers she knew it was coming...right? Fuck. There was no time for this tease shit. The stalling might have been cute at the start of all
this but now was not the time again.
She tried calling his attention back, her lips placing soft kisses at his chin before he lifted up, pulling his face from her reach. The fuck? Before
she had time to ask he was...off her. Completely away from her and...was this fucker getting damn dressed?! And then he spoke. Ah fuck.
Get up. And then...homie. Devyn flinched, that word making the world entirely too real to fast. Homie. That what she was to him. Friend.
Ace. Buddy. She was the homie. Even after...FUCK! She sat up, her hand coming to pull at the hair tie that was now holing a lopsided bun, her eyes
cutting at Koi as she let her hair fall. She was pissed.
“What the fuck is your problem Koi?!”
I'm taking my time.
I'm doing it right.
Self-Love. Self-Care. Selfish.
A minute ago, nothing could've distracted Koi from what lay in between Devyn's thighs. Not hell, not brimstone...not even the Nike Mags, with the
automatic laces, handed to him by Michael J. fuckin'-Fox himself could've taken Koi's eyes, hands...body from her. Nothing was about to switch what
centered his attention...and she had him. Fully, their eyes connecting as he pressed against her, his lips still touching hers. Her moan streamed into
his mouth like the sweetest flavor. He tasted it. And he wasn't completely sure. Whether it was the weed or...or if it was just the moment, but he was
right there, readier than he'd ever been. So fucking ready that he could've broken a bottle with his shit. He was just that fuckin'...he was
ready. And she was, too. Koi could tell it in the way her body was almost melded to his, pressed up against him so hard that the shit hurt...but
in a good way. And he was pressed into her, nudging at her with his length, ready to be over the bullshit teasing. Ready to be over the small,
whispering voice that kept at him. Kept on that "Niggas in Paris" shit. This is cray, Koi. He didn't care. Why? Because they were best
friends? Because he was her homie and she was his? When did they ever make those rules? When did they lay down those guidelines? Nothing about this
had they discussed and as it stood, this is how they started! Her on his lap and him in her mouth and...this was the same thing, right? Then why did
it still feel kind of...grimey? Like the game they were playing was a hell of a lot more dangerous than either of them knew?
And as much as he wanted to pretend like that whispering voice didn't matter as much as the "Fuck me" Devyn sighed into his ear, he almost welcomed
that light coming on in the kitchen. The light that told him that Eri was about ten seconds from walking in on what was going on between he and Devyn.
The shit was so twisted. On one hand, he was kicking himself as he pulled away from the kisses on his chin...felt himself leave Devyn's warmth. But on
the other hand, he was almost...relieved. Happy. Glad that he hadn't had the chance to go farther than they already had.
Not even stopping at the sound of Devyn's words, the anger in them too fucking apparent, Koi looked at her for a second as she adjusted her bun, his
brow furrowing for a second before he looked back to the door of the kitchen. It would be moments before Eri opened the door to their patio and
Devyn's hair still looked like she'd run, head first, into a typhoon. The whole situation was fucked and the little attitude that was coming from her
didn't help either. But Koi could understand her anger. He definitely could because the blue ones in his pants were as pissed as she was. This was
twice. TWICE. The second time that they'd been about to get into something and been interrupted. This time they'd gotten farther...deeper. Deep enough
for him to be wearing a little bit of her on the tip of his joint. He'd been so close...and it was over again. She had the right to be angry...but
they didn't have time for a fight.
"Shhhh..." Quickly he pushed her aside on the chaise lounge, making room for himself. Sitting down, he turned her body and put her legs over his
lap...and the bulge that had yet to get the memo to "calm the fuck down". Catching Devyn's eyes, he bit his lip nervously and turned towards the patio
door as it opened... right on cue.
"Hey babe..." He said nonchalantly as Eri walked through the open door, her pajamas skewed and her curls a little messy. She had been sleep. Had they
woken her up? Had she heard them? Quietly, she looked at them, sniffing the air. Probably smelling the lingering kush. Fuck that. Koi would take that
anyday over his kid sister walking in on him inches deep in Devyn.
She was sure he could read it all over her face. How had this happened? How had they come to the point where she was ready to punch him in his face
rather than have him bury it between her thighs a second time? Things were right...weren’t they? She was sure as hell enjoying herself and she
wasn’t shy about letting Koi know it...What changed? What happened between his lips kissing the ones below and her tasting herself on him to make
him stop? And so agonizingly close. She hated him right now. Beyond anything she was feeling, the confusion, the frustration...she was madder
than she ever had been with him and it wasn’t because they hadn’t finished. It was what he called her after...
Homie. Everything shattered with that word. The world they’d created for themselves were titles didn’t exist and they just...were? That
was gone as he labeled her what she knew herself to be before any of this started. She had been friendzoned. Before tonight she was sure that
shit like this only happened to nerds in teen movies who wanted someone who was super far out of their league but, now? Now she knew that that shit
was completely real and it was happening to her right now. Devyn and Koi were homies. They’d almost slept together but that didn’t mean
shit to him..and she had played herself thinking that it did. She thought...No. That was just it. She hadn’t “thought” at all. That first kiss
in the living room had had her in a place where her thoughts weren’t really made of much and the kiss that she started outside...nah. She hadn’t
thought about what the after would be but she didn’t think...homie. Maybe somewhere between that and...something else but, not homie.
She fingered her hair, pushing some of it back and some of it to the side so that it fell in an acceptable way with the waves the bun had left. Koi
was still trying to pull himself together and he had yet to answer her question. “Now is not the time to fucking igno--” he cut her off a quick
‘shhhh’ on his lips as he sat down beside her. Oh no the hell he didn’t...She was stunned. Too stunned to comment and too stunned to snatch away
when he placed her legs over his. What the fuck was going on?! She was in the twilight zone. A place where it was okay for Koi to turn her on, stop in
the middle, and basically tell her to shut the hell up about it. Wow...
She was going through too much. There were too many emotions attached to someone she wasn’t supposed to care this much about and she wasn’t ready
to deal with it but, before she could even think to get up and just leave, the patio door opened and she was faced with...Eri. Fuck. Koi said he put
her to sleep but, it seemed it didn’t stick. Fuck. Fuck! Had she heard them? Was that what had woken her up? God she hoped not; she had corrupted
that poor baby quite enough for tonight...and she was done.
“Hey, sugar-,” she said her voice falling into the light tone that she’d been using with Eri all day, a smile taking her lips, replacing the
look of complete and utter confusion that she had been staring at Koi with. “You alright, love?”
I'm taking my time.
I'm doing it right.
Self-Love. Self-Care. Selfish.
Thankfully, Devyn had caught on just in time, her voice light and no where near as weighted as her expression had been a moment before she greeted a
very sleepy and very curious Eri walking onto the patio, her bare feet padding noisily against the smooth stone circling the pool. Watching his baby
sister walk towards them, Koi couldn't help but steal a side glance at Devyn. He knew she was pissed as hell. The flash of disbelief and anger in her
eyes before Eri appeared kept replaying in his memory, but it was the disappointment there that had his stomach clenching a little more each time he
thought about what he'd seen. She didn't understand. That was what he was reading in her quick angered stare. What she didn't understand? Koi couldn't
put his finger on it, mostly because there was a lot of shit that was incomprehensible that night. For starters, why the fuck he'd stopped...again.
Again. Right in the middle of something that probably wasn't for them in the first place, he'd stopped. For good reason though as his little
sister had been steps away from seeing something that would've clearly scarred her for the rest of her life. But, that shit was...habitual now. Like,
whenever something popped off between the two of them, it always going to come to a halt. It would always be interrupted. Like it wasn't supposed to
happen in the first place. Like it was wrong and somebody up there knew the shit was wrong and threw a wrench in the game every time. Was it
wrong? Koi wasn't too sure. Because when he touched Devyn, it felt right and wrong...all at the same time. It felt damn good...made the hairs on every
inch of his skin stand up. But then...it felt like...if they carried on, there would be no coming back from where they'd end up.
But he didn't have time to think about what was right and wrong between he and Devyn. He didn't have a moment to even think about how she felt at the
moment as Eri walked to where he and Devyn sat. Her eyebrows wrinkled as she looked at him and Koi knew exactly why. She smelled the kush in the air.
The kush that she'd asked him (more like told him) to lay off of that night, just so that she could have a "substance free" holiday with her brother.
It wasn't a secret, though. Eri knew Koi chiefed. She saw the paraphernalia in his room and she was smart enough to deduce that his pipe wasn't for
blowing bubbles and his papers weren't for origami. But that's all she knew. Weed and that was all. He kept the harder shit out of the house because
Eri wasn't the only one keeping tabs of what Koi ingested.
"What are you guys doing?" Eri's voice mimicked the sound of their mother's voice when she was about to start on some rant that he really wasn't
trying to hear. As it stood, Devyn was already pissed at him. He could feel the tense in her body as she sat close to him, her legs still over his
lap. He couldn't take two of his girls at his throat that night, especially since the day had gone so well. It had almost started on a sour note with
his dad acting the dumb ass that he was, but it had taken a turn for the better, the moment that he'd just had with Devyn included. He couldn't let it
end on a sour note. Not that day. Not when Eri had probably had one of the best Christmases of her short life. And not when he'd had THE best
Christmas in his.
"I woke up and I couldn't find you. I thought you guys left and..." Her voice faded as Koi's soft smile wavered and fell, his hand reaching for Eri's
hand, pulling her closer to him as she spoke. He rubbed her arm as he looked up at her, his eyes saying the apologies that his mouth hadn't released
yet. He really hadn't meant to leave her in the house like that, by herself, no word on where he and Devyn were going...even if they'd only gone to
the backyard for some privacy and a smoke. He knew how Eri got when she was in that big ass house by herself and he knew how she felt when she woke up
alone. Even though it was rare, her being by herself, she didn't deal with it well and she shouldn't have had to. No one should've had to deal with
that shit...especially not him. But he had and he refused to let Eri's childhood be anything like his own.
"You know I'd never leave you here alone, babe." Reaching up, he ruffled her and smiled up at her. "Never. Ever. Ever." With each word, he poked her
in her side, finally getting a smile from her as she held the hand tightly. Slowly, he pulled her next to him on the lounger and wrapped his arm
around her shoulders, kissing her hair lightly. His other hand was where it had been the entire time, holding Devyn's legs in place on his lap.
Looking in her direction, his fingertips grazed her thigh as he looked in her eyes, mouthing the word "sorry", hoping that the anger in her eyes would
subside at his words.
Eri. She had forgotten all about the poor baby, her mind more so stuck on Koi’s pants than his sister. Now though, she would force herself to
concentrate on Eri because thinking about Koi was sending her through too many things. She couldn’t believe she’d played herself again.
Again. For the second time. The first time had been different though. That was just sex and if he wanted it with someone else that was his
prerogative, but today? What had happened between them? That was more than sex...at least it had been to her but it was obvious Koi felt differently
when he found the nerve to call her what he had. Homie. Ugh. It hurt to even think about and what kept tripping her out about it...it
shouldn’t have mattered to her. That was indeed what she and Koi were to one another. She was his friend and he was hers, but in that brief moment,
where the two of them lost their heads and weren’t themselves? Those two people were more than just...”homies”.
But she couldn’t think that way in front of Eri. She couldn’t believe they had been mere seconds from scarring this poor girl for life, but here
they were, dressed and decent, pushing their emotions to the side to pretend they’d been chilling from jump. The skeptical look on her face told
Devyn that she wasn’t buying that for a second though. She knew her brother and his friend had been up to something she just hadn’t figured out
what yet. Oh, but she had no problem asking, her voice taking a questioning tone as she asked what they were doing. Devyn didn’t answer, she figured
Koi should and she’d just have to go with whatever lie he told her. That was fine. She was pretty much done talking for the night anyway. She should
have gone home when she said she was the first time. None of this would have happened and she and Koi wouldn’t be...here; confused about what they
were and not sure where they stood. Things were murky and it seemed Koi didn’t want to muddy the waters anymore as he didn’t lie to Eri either. Of
course, she didn’t really give him the chance, explaining why she was here before he could answer her question.
Awww. She was scared. Devyn could understand that; their house was huge and empty it had to be a little...creepy at night. Especially when you thought
you were alone. Devyn watched as Koi reached for her with one hand, the other still holding her legs in place over his lap, his excitement slowly
dying beneath them. He played the sweet role with her, falling easily into the big brother mode that had been making Devyn melt all day. She hated him
for that now. Hated that he could make her feel like this and she...couldn’t make him feel anything. Beyond lust, beyond “homie”, Devyn didn’t
make him feel any different about them...
Her thoughts were given pause as his fingers grazed her thigh and their eyes met. He offered a silent sorry, but Devyn didn’t know how to respond to
that. So she didn’t. She turned away, letting the silence linger a little longer as she tried to think of a way to get out of here as quickly as
possible without letting his baby sister see the tent his pants had pitched or her panties that were probably nearby but kind of missing...
I'm taking my time.
I'm doing it right.
Self-Love. Self-Care. Selfish.
She was doing it. Today was the day and she was telling him.
She and Miyu had been over it 100 times this weekend. After Dev apologized for being completely shitty to her, Miyu came through like the friend Devyn
always knew she was. She knew exactly what she was going to say and how she was supposed to say it. Miyu had even bought the pregnancy test she’d
had in her bag for the last two days. Yes two days, because despite her preparation, she still didn’t feel brave enough to say fucking anything about this!
She had secretly been hoping for her period in the days between now and talking to Miyu so that she wouldn’t have to do this. But she needed to. Koi
needed to know in case she really was...She was telling him today.
In a nice change of pace, Koi was finally the one to open his front door so she didn’t have to awkwardly ask to speak to him, but she did have to
give a greeting that just oozed “we need to talk” trouble. His mother was having some kind of Kidd’s Kids meeting in the living room so they
made their way past that group, to his backyard, and then into the pool house. Far away from prying ears. Did he already know? He couldn’t. She’d
only told Miyu and she made it very clear that the burden was on Devyn to tell him what she was about to now. So he didn’t know. Yet. But he would
soon.
“It’s, uh...been a minute, huh?” It had. At least two weeks since she’d spoken proper words to him. And to happen right after the night of his
mother’s gala...She was sorry about that. It really wasn’t his fault, she was...it was complicated and it was about to get a hell of a lot more
so.
I'm taking my time.
I'm doing it right.
Self-Love. Self-Care. Selfish.
Seeing Devyn after so long was exactly how Koi expected it to be...a relief. Air. His chest had been in an eternal state of "tight" since
he'd gotten the text message from her that "they needed to talk", which hadn't been a good thing in the past and definitely didn't give him "warm
feelies" now. Even her face wasn't right when he'd opened the front door, hurrying her past his mother and the chairs of the foundation that had
gathered in the living room for a meeting. They didn't go upstairs to his bedroom as he knew how much his mother would've loved explaining that to the
foundation chairs. They passed the kitchen, excited out the patio doors and headed to the least of Koi's favorite places in his home...the pool
house.
In Koi's mind, that place came with it's own horror music. Namely because it was the only place in the house that was free territory for his dad's
"visitors"...which clearly meant whores. And it wasn't any place that Koi wanted to take Devyn to talk about...shit, he still didn't know what they
needed to talk about. But there wasn't a chance that he'd let it turn into some shouting match and have his mom's guests see anything but the perfect
facade she'd worked so hard to build. So...that meant the pool house was their only safe space...as long as they remembered to wipe down shit before
they sat on it.
"Yeah, you could say that." Koi muttered, responding to Devyn's small talk. She stood next to the door like she was trying to make some quick and in a
hurry exit as Koi sat on the back of overstuffed, white sofas.
"Why are you standing so far away from me?" He couldn't figure it out. There hadn't been anything that had gone wrong in the past couple of weeks. So
why were they acting like they were on the backside of some huge ass fight that didn't exist?
Devyn sighed. She was aiming to steady her breathing, but her chest had been tight since closing the pool house door behind them. She wasn’t ready.
There was no way around it anymore, but that didn’t make things any easier. It was the reason for the distance between them. Figurative and literal.
Why are you standing so far away from me? Because when they got close she stopped thinking. It had been the thing she loved most about being
with him...before it got them here. She didn’t need to be any closer to him to say what she had to say. She needed to stay right where she was
incase he went ahead and put her ass out after the news.
But she didn’t. She closed the distance between them, sliding between his legs, her arms falling around his neck as her lips found his for the first
time in weeks. She just needed a little support. A little encouragement. She wanted that from Koi...after he found out...She spoke as she broke the
kiss.
“I...I’ve been...avoiding you, kid.” Honesty. She was being nothing but honest right now and hoping he could handle that. “I’m sorry about
that…and there’s a reason.”
I'm taking my time.
I'm doing it right.
Self-Love. Self-Care. Selfish.
A look of confusion washed over Koi's face as he held Devyn's gaze...as she still hadn't moved towards him. Even after his white flag went up as a
peace offering, she stood where she was...refusing to budge. He wasn't angry at her! That's what his words meant. That was why he wanted her close to
him. He wanted her to know that the silence between them hadn't changed shit. If she'd needed a little time just to...whatever, he was cool with that!
He got it. Nothing changed the fact that when they made up, forgave each other and became what they were at that very moment, he meant that shit. He
meant what he'd said.
And he knew that she realized that when she finally moved, walking to him slowly. Her arms fell around his shoulders as his wrapped around her waist
and they kissed, his lips going to hers like he'd been missing her kiss for longer than a couple of weeks. His tongue slid between her lips as she
pushed away, ending the kiss that was never meant to get any deeper than it did. Koi didn't give a fuck. He'd touched her, she melded into him like
she always did. Nothing mattered again. Not her silence with him, not he and Derrick's conversation. Nothing.
"I don't care." Koi answered her, smiling as he pulled her close to begin the kiss again. She was avoiding him. Okay! He got it. She needed some time
to sort out "after gala". Though it took her a little bit to start acting...different...he was okay with her doing what she needed to do to get her
head straight about what was going on between them. Things had gotten damn deep that night. "No condom" deep. They'd shared a crazy, incredible
moment. And now, she was ready to get back to...
I'm sorry about that...and there's a reason.
"Whassup then? Talk to me." Koi said softly, the seriousness in the moment hitting him like a rock when he heard Devyn's words.
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