He wouldn’t have guessed it? Why, she wondered. Surely she looked like she’d had at least two kids. Hell, according to Shemar, her body had become
a wasteland after Eri, despite everything she did to keep it as tight as humanly possible. Zori didn’t see her that way though. Of course he
didn’t. He wasn’t her husband. He wasn’t holding some unsupported grudge against her about asking to be treated like a wife and an
equal...asking for a little respect. Nope. That was Shemar and without him here, it was almost as if she could feel her self-esteem rise. Zori did
that to her. Fumie smiled as he told her that her kids sounded just as wonderful as she was.
“So I’m wonderful, huh?” She laughed a bit, her shoulder leaning into him quickly as she gave him a playful nudge. “Who’s violating now?”
They laughed together again before they shared a short silence. And oddly enough, Fumie didn’t feel the need to fill it. Maybe it was the meditation
time they spent together, but she was comfortable with him in silence...nothing about them had to be forced. And the silence didn’t last, his voice
breaking the air as he finished his thought. Her husband? Ha. Yeah. Blessed.
For the first time since starting this conversation Fumie’s smile faded. “Yes, my husband…-,” she stood then, moving away from the bench as
she pulled at her pants. “Shemar often doesn’t realize how blessed he is.” Facts. Only there was no “often” about it. Shemar never realized what a
blessing his family was. His wife that did everything she could to keep him happy, even now when all she seemed to do was disappoint. A son who was
basically the spitting image of him both inside and out (a constant worry of hers), and a baby girl that would probably win a Nobel Peace Prize one
day. He had the perfect family. Why he sought to ruin that had always been beyond her...but it surely wasn’t Zori’s business.
“Sorry. Overshare.” He didn’t want to hear about Shemar any more that she wanted to talk about him. “But they are…my kids bring me nothing
but joy.” she smiled again. “And you shouldn’t worry. When you stop being so picky-” she teased, “I’m sure the right woman will make you
just as happy one day.”
I was a heavy heart to carry but, he never let me down.
When he held me in his arms my feet never touched the ground.
So, I'm wonderful, huh? Of course she was. The problem was that Fumie had to ask to have someone tell her that she was. She was...more than
wonderful. Motivated, fearless, amazing. Zori had more adjectives in his arsenal for her if she really wanted them, not like he should've been opening
his mouth to let her know in the first place. She had a man to tell her who she was and Zori wasn't that man. But he smiled, looking down at her out
of the corner of his eye as she nudged him, his silent agreement obvious. He didn't have to repeat himself. She was right, though. They were both
making minor violations to the agreement that they'd made in his office weeks ago. Keep it friendly. But this was friendly, yeah? Getting to
know each other, complimenting each other. Right. He tell himself that lie to keep enjoying the moment that they were sharing.
He shrugged at her question, laughing a little as they fell into a comfortable silence which neither of them were strangers to. Fumie hadn't always
been comfortable with the silence that sometimes fell between them. Actually Zori wondered if she had been comfortable with silence at all. With the
way her life moved, she was surrounded by noise. Demands coming from all sides. But after a few weeks, it seemed like she welcomed the empty moments,
when she could just...think. Their sessions started that way, mind cleansing silence and a release of whatever her life had piled on her that day. The
room became of cocoon of exhale for her and Zori was glad he could give her that. He was glad he could give her anything that gave her a break.
And Fumie's reaction to Zori's words pretty much confirmed that from the sound of her voice alone, her smile fading from her face as he watched her
stand to her feet...adding a confession to the stress his comment had just placed on her. Zori didn't have to search inside of her words for a meaning
just like he didn't have to look hard to see how she really felt. It was plain and simple. Shemar didn't always appreciate her...if he ever
did. Zori didn't like to pry, nor did he like to be in the middle of business, much less, married business. But he couldn't help the way the
expression that rippled over his face reflected hers. And this was why surface was good for them. It kept them out of each other's business. It kept
them from getting too deep. Because "deep" changed the mood in the room from light and fun to brooding and hidden and...
Sorry. Overshare. And just like that, Fumie's smile was back and the discomfort from moments before had disappeared like it had never
happened in the first place. But it had. And there were traces and residual left over on Zori's memory that wouldn't erase itself if it tried. He
forced a brief smile as she went back to her kids, widening it as she started walking in his relationship territory again.
"Hey." He said simply, standing with her. "So now we're talking about me again?" He rolled his neck as he stood, lightly stretching his muscles for
their return to the workout session.
"And I'm not picky, woman." His voice was gruff, but his smile as he bumped her when he walked by signaled the joke in his voice.
"I just believe...that when you settle down with somebody, it's important to know that you can stay with them. That no matter what, they'll always be
the first thought on your mind in the morning and the thing you look at before you close your eyes at night. When I find that, I know I'll be good..."
He looked back at Fumie and smiled.
"...or am I a delusional as hell romantic in for a surprise?" Laughing again, he started walking back to the sparring floor.
"The greatest wisdom is seeing through appearances."
She was doing it again. Letting Shemar get to her. Why did she do that? Here Zori was, completely engaged in getting to know her. Completely into
her...maybe not the way she wanted him to be, but he was paying attention. She should have been right here with him, but what was she doing
instead? Thinking about the attention Shemar didn’t give her. How inadequate he made her feel. How unappreciated she was at home. Ugh! She didn’t
want to be here. Not ‘here’ physically, but mentally, she didn’t want to think about Shemar at all. Why did she allow him to be such a huge part
of her life when she was somehow such a miniscule part of his? She was so stupid.
But she wasn’t about to put all of that on Zori. So she put on a face. She smiled and she apologized and she tried to move past it. More about him.
She teased him again, calling him picky before ensuring he would one day be lucky enough to have kids of his own. She was sure he would. Zori was a
catch. He was a stereotypical “total package” if she ever met one and it was just a matter of time before some lucky girl got the privilege of
calling him hers. But he wasn’t picky…
Fumie laughed as he continued talking, telling her what he wanted out of his relationship. How he wanted to think of that woman first thing in the
morning and look her in the eye before he went to bed at night. It was a really pretty sentiment. One she would expect from a guy as sweet as him. She
smiled at the thought. She’d lived that lie for a little while; a memeory that seemed like a dream now. Shemar used to love her…
“No-,” she started, holding a smile she didn’t believe in any longer. “That’s honestly a beautiful sentiment, Zo...keep looking for her.”
It was time to end this little chat. She was getting into dangerous territory, because there was nothing more she wanted to do than explain to Zori
why she couldn’t even remember what that kind of love was like. She approached him on the flooor.
“So. Shall we?”
I was a heavy heart to carry but, he never let me down.
When he held me in his arms my feet never touched the ground.
----------------------------- After the Dinner -----------------------------
She was late. She...was never late. But today, she was uncharacteristically tardy. Which shouldn't have been a surprise for Zori considering
the night that she'd had. Then again, he couldn't help but think that her nights didn't usually end in the drunken stupor that he was sure hers had
ended in. She seemed like the type that didn't...shit. Who was he kidding? He didn't know what "type" of anything she was. He didn't know how
she drank. He didn't know what her nightlife looked like. He didn't know shit about Fumie. He'd learned that fact last night, loud and
clear...just like her husband wanted him to. And to be honest, the more he thought about last night, the harder his punches hit the punching bag in
front of him. Every "thwack!" landed harder than the one before it. He grunted quietly as he threw a horizontal elbow strike, the bag swinging and
rebounded, meeting a powerful jab that nearly threw the bag off the chain it was suspended from the ceiling with. He huffed, pausing to catch his
breath as he held the bag on its downswing.
He really shouldn't have been working as hard as he was. When Fumie showed...or if Fumie showed, they had an hour long session to get through and it
wasn't going to be effective for her if he was exhausted by the time she got there. No matter how he was feeling or what he was thinking, one thing
was for sure...he was her trainer. That was the role he KNEW he played when it came to her. Not her friend, not her confidant and surely not her man.
No, that role was already fucking filled as she'd made it known when she stuck her tongue down her husband's throat...
Zori shook his head, his wrapped hand meeting his temple as he rubbed his forehead. Why the fuck was it such a big deal that she'd been with her
husband? That she'd kissed him and said loving things about him last night? That she'd actually looked like she loved the man she married? Zori
should've been...happy for them. He should've been relieved that she went back to the arms of the man who's ring was on her left index. That's what
he'd wanted right? To keep her head clear of the stress in her life so that she'd leave whatever ideas she had about Zori alone and... This is what
was supposed to happen. She was supposed to be happy and Zori...was supposed to help her achieve that. So, now that she was happy and in love, why did
Zori feel like...why was he...?
He pushed the bag away from himself as the door opened to the hallway, the sound of running feet sounding off of the cement walls. He moved away from
the bag, refusing to turn around and see her running through the door after a night with her husband.
"No meditation today." He said, knowing that she'd entered the room. He didn't give her a chance to greet him, to joke with him. To make him laugh.
No, they were business today.
"Warm up. Squats and lunges. Two reps of each. Let's get it."
"The greatest wisdom is seeing through appearances."
She was late. She was never late, but this morning…well, afternoon, she was and she could only imagine the reasons running through Zori’s
mind about why. Whatever they were, the reasons were probably true as Shemar wasn’t letting her leave before she put him back to sleep. When she
finally did get the shower she’d been so desperate for, she was already 20 minutes late to the gym. She didn’t bother to call or text Zori about
her tardiness because part of her felt like he wouldn’t care...the other half of her was sure he wouldn’t answer anyway. Not after last night.
Fumie knew she needed to apologize. She had behaved so poorly at dinner and while that warranted an apology by itself, there was so much more for her
to apologize to Zori specifically for.
She had spent most of their time together leading him on. And she hadn’t done so falsely! She knew every time she flirted with him (despite their
agreement), that she was telling him she wanted him. And she did. She wanted Zori even more now than she had last night while she was fucking her
husband to his visage. And she didn’t solely mean the physical. She wanted Zori as a person. All of him. Last night, for the first time, she was
forced to perform for him and she hated it. Everything she’d ever told him in confidence about her marriage, granted it wasn’t too much, was
probably negated with the kiss she’d given Shemar in front of him...But he didn’t understand. She had to explain what happened last night.
Stepping into the sparring room, Fumie paused at the door, unsure of how to begin. She placed her bag down next to the bench, “Zo-,” he cut her
off. No meditation today. His voice was colder than it had ever been when it came to her and she couldn’t deny how much she really didn’t like
that. She tried again. “Zori, please let me-,” he stopped her again. Warm up. Fumie sighed, her voice faltering as he spoke over her. No.
She was tired of not being listened to! She’d spent all morning catering to someone elses needs over her own. She wanted to talk about this!
“Zori, stop.” She was not going to suffer through an hour of this cold shoulder bullshit. If he wanted her to go she would, but she would rather
talk to him about what happened. She wanted to explain herself.
“Now, I want to apologize to you for last night. I want you to listen to what I have to say about it and then I want you to tell me where you are
with things...if you don’t want that, tell me now and I’ll leave. But what we won’t do is this emotionless session where you bark orders at me
and I comply. I’m done taking orders today.”
I was a heavy heart to carry but, he never let me down.
When he held me in his arms my feet never touched the ground.
Oh, he was tired of that. Apologies That was all he and Fumie ever did when it came to each other. Apologizing for this mistake, apologizing
for that "step over the line". It was-he was tired. Before last night, they'd had a good thing going. A friendship. A place where neither of them
where stepping on the other's toes. They were getting to know each other in the best way. Platonically. There wasn't anything to apologize about then.
But now, here they were, back to saying "I'm sorry" for things that shouldn't have happened or shouldn't have mattered because, contrary to what he
felt or thought, she. Was married. And he was just a trainer and a business partner. And he wasn't going to do this shit anymore. Didn't they agree to
no more apologies? None of that seemed to matter at the moment as they couldn't stop putting themselves and the other person into situations where
excuses and explanations were necessary. And because of that, he offer to just leave was real inviting as it could've meant the end to whatever
ring-a-round game they were playing with each other. But...something in him, probably the stupid part him Momma was always so afraid of, was talking
and he... He just couldn't say the words that would make her leave him.
"I'm not giving you orders." His baritone so much heavier as walked to the bench on the wall where they took their breaks. "I'm doing my job. Two
different things." As he unwound and removed his wraps for the warm up that he was GOING to do, he looked at her, eyes searching for traces left of
the woman he'd seen last night. Because they weren't the same person. One Fumie was devastatingly gorgeous with her tall heels on and a dress that
made Zori's breath catch in his throat the second he'd seen her walk through the door of the restaurant. She was confident, sexy and very in love with
her husband. She didn't match the woman he saw today. No offense, but she looked like shit, the dark under her eyes matching the expression on her
face.
"...and you don't have to explain anything that happened last night. I'm your trainer and your business partner. Not your nutritionist or your
counselor." Saying those words made him look away from her as he threw the wraps on the bench and walked back to the middle of the padded mat where
they warmed up.
"You were just a woman having a good time...and loving on her husband. Why would you need to explain that to me?"
"The greatest wisdom is seeing through appearances."
Why was it that no one ever fucking listened to her when she talked? Like, really listened. It was probably her fault, not plainly stating
what it was she wanted or needed. Not expressing herself simply enough for people around her to understand. And sometimes...coating her shitshow of a
life in so much sugar she was confused for the local bakery. Whatever she was doing, it wasn’t at all getting through to Zori...or maybe it was
because he refused to look at her. Fumie allowed her arms to hug her a little tighter, as he growled at her about not giving orders. He was simply
doing his job.
And when he finally did look at her she wished he hadn’t, his gaze just as cold as his voice and missing the usual twinkle of desire he held when he
looked at her. Now he was disgusted and rightfully so. After her little performance last night, he had every right to be. Not to mention she looked
like shit. She hadn’t wanted to stay home for fear Shemar would wake up again before she could get ready. So she’d showered, changed, and left as
soon as possible. No make up and she’d barely run a brush through her hair. She wasn’t here to impress Zori today anyway. She was only trying to
keep his friendship...or whatever it was they’d had before...she was failing obviously. He was her trainer and her business partner. That was it.
Not her--the fuck?!
Fumie felt her face go from apologetic to masked rage in mere seconds. That wasn’t fucking necessary. Her fucking counselor? Nah they weren’t
doing these snippy side shots today. Had she not been through enough this morning?! She didn’t know what she did in a past life to warrant this
constant dumping, but she was doing the best she fucking could her situation and he KNEW NOTHING about that! He would not sit in his self
righteousness and judge her while she was offering him kindness. She was tired of being shit on. She had zero patience for that bullshit right now.
“Don’t you ever pretend to know me.” her words were simple, no longer pleading with him to listen to her but demanding it as she straightened
her stance. “If I feel the need to explain something, it is not because I enjoy hearing myself talk it is because there are things you do not
know.” There was plenty he did not know. The mental and physical abuse she suffered being married to Shemar was not something she was about to let
anyone joke about, especially not a man that thought she was one thing but was sorely disappointed to find out she was a multidimensional creature
that might be more than one thing at a time.
“Number one, I do not drink. If I am drinking, it is not because I am having a good time. Nothing about last night was “a good time”-,” her
fingers made air quotes around his words, his assumptions about her feelings without bothering to ask if it were a correct assumption to make. She
noticed his lips twinge and hoped he didn’t try to interrupt, “I am not done. Number two, the only thing I hate more than my
husband is being embarassed by my husband. Last night was an embarrassment that I am trying to talk to you about. Not because I enjoy apologizing to
you or because I would like to relive anything that has happened to me in the last 24 hours, but because I value a relationship. Our relationship.
Something I am obviously alone in doing.”
Obviously. And if that were the case she had no fucking business here. They could cut this training shit short and she could find someone to handle
Kidd’s Kids business in a matter of minutes. He never had to see her again. If her fuck up from last night was enough to make him feel this
strongly about severing ties with her, he wasn’t going to last anyway. Her life was a complicated thing that nobody but her could ever fully, truly
understand. That remained especially true of people who drew their own conclusions and took them as truth.
“Why don’t you call me when you’re finished pouting about how I’m not who you thought I was. I am not who anyone thinks I am.” With that,
Fumie bent to pick her bag back up and make her exit. Fuck this. She left home to escape abuse not get more of it.
I was a heavy heart to carry but, he never let me down.
When he held me in his arms my feet never touched the ground.
Don't you ever pretend to know me. Hold up, excuse him? Looking over his shoulder before his entire body turned and faced Fumie, his face
crumpled as his eyes narrowed in confusion. Turning to look at her didn't clear up his confusion anymore than drinking water might put out a fire. Her
face was...furious. In all the time he'd known and worked with her, he'd never seen Fumie this angry. She was, for lack of a better word, completely
pissed at him and for what? Because of what he'd said to her when she entered the room? Sure, he couldn't say that he'd been exactly "friendly and
accommodating", but it wasn't out of anger. Even though anger would've been valid as she did know she was almost an hour late and she hadn't picked up
her phone once to let him know that she was even showing up? But no, there wasn't anger in Zori. Not enough to be an asshole to Fumie. He was
just...damn, he was just putting space between them. The way things had gone down the night before, it seemed like that was the perfect solution to
the problem that Zori was seeing. Distance would give Shemar some chill and it would give her a chance to focus on her husband as the entire night
reeked of an unresolved connection between the two of them. He was just trying to make it better...and in that, he'd made it worse. A lot worse.
Zori blinked as Fumie went off into a tirade of things that honestly didn't make sense. She didn't have a good time last night? From his view, she'd
had the best one...which would've been okay! Considering that Zori wasn't calling her on anything she'd done last night. He wasn't policing her and he
would've told her so had she not shushed him before he even opened his mouth right to comment. But one thing he could do was be patient, close his
mouth and wait until she said what she had to say because something told him that half of this didn't even have anything to do with him. Half of this
was her just needing to get shit off her chest. And he'd let her.
His hand rubbed his neck as she spoke, letting what she had to say swarm him like mosquitoes in need of swatting. It was nothing short of a verbal
assault that in some way, he felt crazily responsible for. But nothing that he'd said could've been the sole reason for her words. And then, there was
the answer. The only thing I hate more than my husband is being embarrassed by my husband. Subtly, he shook his head, extracting pieces of
her rant and tucking them away for the second when she emptied herself fully and there was nothing left to say...which wasn't happening because she
was leaving. Shit
"So, you're done?" His stretching resumed as he pulled his right arm across his chest with his left, his eyes on her as she stopped in her tracks.
"If you're done, drop your stuff and come here." He hesitated as he watched her face. "Please."
"The greatest wisdom is seeing through appearances."
She was over this. She had come here to apologize to him, not to be told how sorry she should be. She knew she’d messed up. She got it. All she was
trying to do was mend fences. That’s all she ever did. Fix. She “fixed” when her son fucked up. She “fixed” when Shemar was an insufferable
asshole. She “fixed” on the rare occasion that she didn’t appear to have it all together and she broke. Despite her best efforts, she couldn’t
be perfect all the time. She was human. She had feelings and she made choices and sometimes she made the wrong choices. Right now, she was standing in
front of a man that she thought she could consider a friend, trying to apologize for a mistake. But fuck it. Like she’d said when she
started, she didn’t mind leaving. And that was what she was doing, having told him exactly where he could shove his judgement and assumptions about
her life. And what did he have to say after all of that?
So, you’re done? Fumie stopped, her back still to him as she rolled her eyes, a sigh at her lips. She would not cry here. No one had seen
her cry in almost ten years and she was not about to let this be the day she broke her streak. It was stupid anyway! She felt like one of Koi’s
little friends. Getting all in her feelings because someone didn’t want to be her friend anymore? Was she twelve? It shouldn’t have mattered. She
and Zori had business, nothing more...except that wasn’t true. That was why this mattered. This mattered, because he mattered.
And maybe she mattered to him to? His next words made her wonder. He was asking her to stay. Why? If she’d have even thought about saying those
things to Shemar...but he wasn’t Shemar. He had shown himself to be a completely different person than Shemar and he was continuing to do so by
entertaining her tantrum. She would hear him out. Because f she was being 100% honest with herself, nothing in her really wanted to leave that room.
She really didn’t have anywhere to go. Home wasn’t an option as her husband was still there. The only place she really wanted to be was with Zori.
Because outside of last night, she didn’t have to pretend with him...and she was so tired of pretending.
She turned, opening her hand so that her bag dropped to the floor yet another sigh on her lips. “I can hear you just fine from here-,” she said it
matter of factly, her voice flat. She was tired. She hadn’t notice how tired until that very moment, but she could feel it in every part of her.
Until…Please. Fumie hesitated, her arms folding as she bent her head, her feet suddenly interesting. She bit her bottom lip to quell a
smile; no one ever said please.
She moved toward him, her arms unfolding as she opened herself to whatever it was he had to say.
I was a heavy heart to carry but, he never let me down.
When he held me in his arms my feet never touched the ground.
Zori stared calmly at her face as her feet finally started moving toward him, her face looking as annoyed and tired as he figured she felt. Not
because he knew what she was going through because he'd listened to what she said. He heard her. Her husband. The way her morning was straight from
hell and she was tired of being given orders and...tired of not being listened to. Okay. He was listening. Against his better judgement,
which told him to let her walk out the door and stay out of business that wasn't his...he was listening. And he didn't like what he was hearing.
Despite the meditation, the work out...the break from the life that she didn't stop running for in those high heeled, designer shoes...despite it all,
she was still unhappy. And Zori missed it. Well, because it wasn't necessarily his to catch. This was the deepest they'd gotten with each other since
they'd met and they'd made an effort to keep it light. To keep her head straight...and his. They were in violation, once again. Breaking all the rules
that they'd made...and he didn't care. Not when she was in front of him, looking at him the way she was. Hurt by his unintentional words. Lonely.
Angry...and as damn confused as he was.
He dropped his arms as she came closer to him, her steps slow and hesitant. He knew she was still annoyed with him, something he didn't want. At all.
He just didn't know how to do it. How to separate himself from a storm he saw gathering without catching the damage it brought as well. He couldn't do
it. Not with her, something pulling him back in the second she turned her back to leave. Making him stand there and wait for her to come to him.
Making him pull her arms around his waist as he looked down at her...wrapping his arms around her shoulders. Not even caring about their closeness or
the fact that she probably didn't want to be touched. Without speaking, he lowered his head, his jaw touching the side of her face as they hugged it
out.
"I'm sorry..." He said softly, tightening his hold on her briefly. "I'm sorry your day was shit. And your husband pissed you off. And then I pissed
you off." Loosening his hold on her, he looked down at her and smiled.
"What I was trying to say..." He chuckled as he spoke. " ...was that you don't owe me an explanation for what you do, Fumie. Nobody's judging you..."
"The greatest wisdom is seeing through appearances."
She took her time coming to him, expecting him to start talking as she did so, signal her to stop when she got too close. Zori did that. Told her when
she was getting too close. When she asked an inappropriate question or he caught her looking at him the way he looked at her sometimes. Zori drew
lines and stuck to them. It was respectable and commendable and Fumie did her best to stick to them too, despite how much she liked him...So she
waited for the signal to come for her to stop, but it never came. Instead his hands took her arms and placed them around his waist as he pulled her
into a hug. Fumie heard herself give a weak sigh, her tears becoming a more and more likely possibility. She let her face rest against his, listening
to him apologize.
And he wasn’t just apologizing for what he’d said to her, but for the things Shemar did, for how awful everything was for her. He didn’t know
the half of things but for someone to just acknowledge that she was...hurting. Someone saw her hurting. And he wasn’t pretending he knew
what was happening and he wasn’t trying to give her any answers he was just there. Without reservation. Nobody’s judging you. Yet another
sighed turned to a whimper as she blinked back the inevitable. He always said the right thing. How did he always know the right thing?! Fumie pushed
away from him, turning her back as she wiped her face, thankful she wasn’t wearing any mascara. She should go.
If she stayed here she knew she would do something they would both regret and make things even more strained between them. Because Zori got her. He
got her the way her husband was supposed to. The way no one else ever had. Despite the boundaries and his lack of solid fact to go on, Zori still
somehow understood what she needed. And one of those needs he was not willing to meet...a fact he would probably have to put to the side for the time
being because she was tired of denying herself.
She turned back to him, her words still trapped in her throat...but maybe that was a good thing. Closing the short distance between them again she
reached out for him, one of her hands cupping his face softly as her eyes met his. She let her thumb run over his lips before she rose on her toes,
her mind going back and forth. Would she? Wouldn’t she? Her face inched closer to his, her lips so close she could feel his breath on them.
Could she? Should she?
“Thank you-,” she whispered. Fumie’s lips brushed his as she spoke, but she couldn’t. She stayed where she was but she could not kiss him.
That wasn’t her line to cross. Zori had been nothing but a gentleman this morning and she would not take advantage of that...but if that were
completely true, why was she still so close?
I was a heavy heart to carry but, he never let me down.
When he held me in his arms my feet never touched the ground.
He didn't try to hold on when she pushed him away. Letting her slip from the too close hold he had on her was the best thing he could've done for the
both of them. Her head a mess from the crazy day she'd been having and him wrapped up in the need to make the day disappear. That need...was going to
fuck him up in the end. Because this wasn't his place. Hugging on another man's wife, no matter how out unhappy he'd been making his wife, was a
no-no. It was something that a self-respecting man didn't do. Yet, Zori felt Fumie's absence the second she let him go, her back turning on him.
Probably to wipe away the tears that Zori could understand. She didn't have to hide them from him. She didn't have to pretend to be the strongest
thing in the room with him. She didn't have to pretend at all. He understood more than she thought he might. Having to be everyone's strength when
you're not even sure you have enough for yourself? He'd been the "man of the house" from the second he was born, his daddy dipping out on his pregnant
Momma the second she started showing. Zori had to be a man before he knew what being a man meant. Being the thing that everyone depended on was heavy
and Zori knew how heavy. Which was probably why he felt for Fumie more than he should have...more than he even knew he really did.
He stayed quiet, letting her work through her feelings. Fighting the urge to force another hug on her, another embrace that he didn't even know if she
asked for in the first place. This was the way it had always been with women. Zori couldn't stand tears. He couldn't stand seeing pain on a woman's
face. It was almost like seeing his mother endure all of the loneliness that she'd seen as Zori grew up all over again. And with Fumie, it was
amplified by ten. How fucked up was that? Of all the women that he'd loved and lost through the years, their stories probably as desperate for
happiness and love as Fumie's was and the one woman that he couldn't leave alone was the one he seriously needed to? The married one. That woman whose
husband should've been in the place that Zori found himself. Watching her cry. Seeing her wet cheeks as she turned back to him, her eyes connecting
with his...her body coming closer to his. Her soft hand touching his face. He fought the desire to close his eyes at the feeling of her skin touching
his, his jaw clenching as she ran her finger across his lips.
Why couldn't he open his mouth to tell her "no" as she stood on her toes, her face drawing closer to his? Why the hell wasn't he saying anything at
all, tongue licking the lips that her thumb had just caressed. Damn, he was slipping. He could feel it in the way he stared at her lips instead of her
eyes as she spoke to him. Thank you...
He should've pulled away...
"You're welcome..." He whispered back, his eyes closing as their lips brushed again, the pleasure of it spreading across his skin. Hot...and so
uncharacteristically impatient. He didn't want...shit, he was lying to himself. He did want to. He wanted to so badly. And all the chanting and the
meditating weren't going to intercede fast enough to keep him from...
"...shit..." His curse came out in a hiss as his lips pursed against hers slowly, their kiss breaking as his forehead met hers, his breath quickening,
biting his lip...as another kiss followed the first one's lead.
"The greatest wisdom is seeing through appearances."
You’re welcome. It seemed like it. Zori wasn’t pushing her away. In fact, she wasn’t sure if he’d noticed, but he was holding her
there, his hand resting on her hip as she waited for him to close the microscopic space between them. She wanted to kiss him. She wanted to feel his
lips against hers and taste him again, the way she had at the gala. Only there was nothing here to stop them. There was no speech, minutes from
concluding, there weren’t any prying eyes to ask questions afterwards. She wanted that so badly, but she had gotten to know Zori.She knew he
wouldn’t allow himself to want it...Did he? Fumie went back and forth with what she thought about that. Some days, when they trained and he spent
more time than necessary showing her a move or pushing her deeper into a stretch, she knew he did. Other days, like mere moments ago, she got the
impression he was holding back…
He wasn’t anymore, his resolve breaking as he cursed softly before kissing her. Fumie heard herself gasp, as he pulled away. Could she say she
wasn’t expecting that to happen? Not 100% no. But she hadn’t been 100% sure about it either. Zori could have told her no. He could have told her
how (admittedly) confused she was and that she should go home. But he didn’t; he kissed her...then he kissed her again, his lips taking hers a
second time and staying long enough for it to deepen.
Fumie moaned into his mouth, her tongue slipping past his lips as they twisted against hers, her arms falling around his neck as she pulled him closer
to her. She wanted closer. She wanted more. That seemed to be all she could think as they stood in the middle of that sparring room. More.
They seemed to be sharing every kiss they’d avoided since the gala and Fumie could not deny how much better her morning was becoming.
I was a heavy heart to carry but, he never let me down.
When he held me in his arms my feet never touched the ground.
...and for the first time, in what seemed the longest damn time...everything seemed right. But...was that right? It couldn't have been.
Because everything about that moment...everything...was supposed to be wrong. Zori wasn't supposed to be kissing Fumie. His hands weren't
supposed to be holding her, pressing her closer to him. He wasn't supposed to be feeling the rise and fall of the curves that he wouldn't let himself
even slip and think about. This wasn't his moment. He was stealing every second of it from...from her husband. She was married. She was still
married and nothing had changed about that fact. The few lingering thoughts were still there of she and Shemar, the home they’d built together...the
kids...but it didn’t stop him. Nothing would stop him, the long ignored need for affection had built inside of him, filling him so completely that
there was barely any room for anything else. And he couldn’t...he just didn’t gave a damn. It’d been so long. All of the denying himself,
denying the thoughts that made him a man, that made him human. Putting it all aside to survive without really living. To keep the pain and the hurt
and confusion at bay. It’d been too long...and now he couldn’t get every rebelling nerve in him to stop electrifying his body into movement. To
keep moving...keep kissing Fumie. Keep tasting her.
That thought brought a deep moan that’d been hidden in his chest to his lips. It spilled over between their kiss, his lips pulling at hers. This
was supposed to be wrong. But everything, all of it...the time that was passing between them, the sound of their kisses filling the seconds that
ticked by, the way her hands pulled at him, silently begging for him to do everything except “stop”...it felt...right. Maybe it was the insanity
of seeing himself flood back into the body he’d kept void of any kind of feeling for so long, but...Zori being there...with her...it felt right. It
was almost as if everything was supposed to end up here...with them. Just them. The dinner last night, the gala...all the way back to the way they
met. Everything was meant to turn into what was happening now…
...his arm wrapping around her, lifting her off of her feet, her legs wrapping around him as he lowered them to the mat.
"The greatest wisdom is seeing through appearances."
She hadn’t come here for this. The way he was touching her now, his lips pressed against hers, his hands gripping her waist as he tried to pull her
closer and she did the same...She hadn’t meant for this to happen. But she wasn’t trying to stop it. Nothing about what she was doing was right.
Not because of her marriage; fuck her marriage. She knew this was something Zori had been trying to avoid. He was a good man trying to do the
right thing and here she was pressuring him to do wrong...but it didn’t feel that way. Nothing about this felt wrong. She had fantasized about this
moment since their kiss at the Gala and even though she knew it wasn’t right to do this with him she didn’t want anything more than what he was
giving her right now. And the feeling seemed mutual.
Fumie moaned as Zori did, the sound causing her to shiver in pleasure as his hold on her tightened. She felt light headed, the sound of their lips
meeting seeming to bounce off of the walls, egging the two of them on, pressuring her not to stop. She didn’t need the pressure. No part of her was
interested in ending what she and Zori were sharing. The kiss at the Gala had been different. They were surrounded by donors and her husband (and his
temper) was mere feet away from them. Now? They were just as they were meant to be. The way they always were when she was at peace and happy. They
were alone and they were together.
The kiss broke briefly; Fumie gasped as Zori lifted her off her feet, her legs immediately wrapping around him as he lowered them to the ground. Her
lips found his again and the kiss continued, her back arching up so that her chest met his as her hips rolled in anticipation. She wanted him so
bad. Her fingers raked over his back as she brought them to the hem of his shirt, pulling at it, silently begging him to take it off. She wanted
it all gone. Every stitch between them. But they had time. They had nothing but time to enjoy this exact moment of pure bliss.
I was a heavy heart to carry but, he never let me down.
When he held me in his arms my feet never touched the ground.
The roll of her hips against him. The way her center met his. It was damn magnetic, the pull of something so forbidden to the another. Zori wondered
if she felt it as her chest rose to meet his, his finger tips tracing the arch in her back. And when her lips met his again? He felt they'd been
missing for years. Centuries. It felt right...even though he knew it wasn't. Even though he knew that every moment they spent like this led
them further and further down the path of "wrong". And he wanted to finish the journey. With the way her fingertips were grazing the length of his
back, her hand was pulling at the hem of his shirt, her eyes silently pleading for him to take it off...he couldn't think of anything better than
arriving with her, the feeling so strong inside of him that years of discipline and denial of himself were ready to come to an end. For her...for
Fumie.
He pulled away from her and out of their kiss, more than ready to give her anything she asked for as he took off his shirt, letting it fall from his
grasp...but he couldn't stop looking at her, their eyes connecting as he hovered over her. She was so damn beautiful. And the sad thing was
that when Zori looked in her eyes, he could tell she didn't know it. Maybe she had...before Shemar. Before she hadn't had someone to remind her of the
bronze warmth of her skin or the beauty in the almond shape of her eyes. Damn...he could've looked at her forever...or touched her for longer than
that.
He looked down to where his hand was resting on her stomach, feeling the rise and fall of her breaths...the way they quickened when his fingertips
touched her. Unzipping her jacket, letting it fall open as he let himself feel the parts of her that he'd never given himself permission to touch
before. From the feminine lines of her stomach to the valley between her breast, he let his hands explore her. A smile flickered over his lips as her
body responded to his touch, his fingers finally coming to caress her throat, his lips lowering back to hers.
"The greatest wisdom is seeing through appearances."
She could feel it in the way his hands caressed her body. In the way his breath caught when her teeth caught his bottom lip and she sucked on it.
Lust. He wanted her and she wanted him just the same. It was as if they were drawn to one another, their bodies seeming to meld as they
gravitated to each other. And he was reading her; Fumie’s silent request to have him remove his shirt coming shortly after she made it, one hand
reaching behind him as he pulled at the neck and tossed it to the side. He was like a fucking statue. A god, carved out of pure marble,
chiseled to perfection. Fumie brought her hands to his chest, grateful that he had paused long enough to let her admire him. Her hands drifted slowly
down his torso, her fingertips drinking in every line and dip between his abs as she made her way lower…She lost her train of thought as he unzipped
her jacket, and his hands copied hers in reverse. They traveled over her stomach, her chest, resting at her neck as his lips fell back to hers.
With her hands still between them she allowed one to dip into his shorts, her hand taking him as she started a slow stroke. Fumie tried to hold back
her smile as Zori groaned at her touch. She loved his sounds. The gasps, the groans, the grunts that told her he wanted her. She didn’t get that
from the man she married. They stopped enjoying sex together a long time ago and outside of last night, the mere thought of touching one another was
repulsive. The same could not be said for Zo. She wanted to touch this man everywhere at once, forever. And she was starting with her favorite part,
her hand still working him as his hips matched her rhythm, his length grazing her middle with every movement. Why was she still wearing pants?
She wasn’t sure, but she was hoping he’d take them off of her soon. She moaned as their kiss intensified and his name slipped from her lips. She
was in heaven and she only wanted Zori to take her higher.
I was a heavy heart to carry but, he never let me down.
When he held me in his arms my feet never touched the ground.
For a second, he knew he'd forgotten how it felt to have someone...really touch him. How nerves sent signals of pleasure straight from their
fingertips to your brain and no matter how scientific it got...it was indescribable. Fumie reminded him as her fingers dipped beneath the
band of his shorts, his eyes closing as all words like "wait" and "hold up" left him...and a groan took over. He bit his lip as she touched him the
way no one had in nearly four years. It wasn't that he didn't want her hand where it'd found itself. It was kind of the opposite, the shocks Fumie
sending through Zori's body had him barely keeping his damn mind from checking out and letting his body take over. Because this? Her touching him,
stroking an energy back into him that he'd meditated into dormancy a long time ago...this meant going to a place of no return...if he let it. And he
wanted to...let it. Especially with Fumie's boldness. He hadn't expected her to...be so free with him. So soon. But he couldn't tell a lie, he felt
hesitation slipping away with every stroke, the level of his groans growing as his hips responded to her, pushing into her caress...feeling her a
little more with every slow thrust.
The kiss they shared grew, Zori losing his resolve every time her tongue slipped against his...every time his chest shifted on her and he could feel
how fast her heart was beating. He wanted...he just wanted to finally touch her. It'd been a long time and he had admit, he missed it. The
connection...how with every he pushed inside, there was an unmistakable pull back. It went beyond instinct. He couldn't describe it...but he knew he'd
missed the presence of it. And the desire for it made him more...impatient, his thrust growing stronger. His hand tightening around her chin as he
pulled out of the kiss, his tongue licking at her lip before it trailed down her chin to her neck.
...and he saw it. It didn't register at first, the faint, purplish bruise on her neck. He was too caught up in it, deep in the sensation of
her hand and his need for her and...
"Wait..." He muttered, a moan mixing with his words. His lip curled as he couldn't help the pleasure he got as he tried to move from her, but his
thrust landed between her thighs, catching the part of her that he'd only grazed. His back arched as his words stopped, nearly forgetting what he'd
just seen. For a moment, he let the friction build, nearly pushing into her the way he would have if their clothes weren't separating them. He had
to stop...now.
"Fumie...just..." Another moan. Another thrust. Her head going back against the mat, pleasure making her bite at her lip. If he didn't stop now, he
was going to...he knew what was at stake and he had to stop. His hand went between them, pulling hers out of his shorts, heaving breaths leaving him
as he met her eyes.
"Wait."
"The greatest wisdom is seeing through appearances."
She wanted him. Fumie moaned as the space around them swirled into nothing as she got lost in the two of them. There was a small part of her
who worried this might not be real. That she was dreaming and she would wake up next to Shemar the way she had mere hours ago with her head swirling
and her body aching in what they’d done the night before. But a bigger part of her, the part that was so connected to the sensation Zori’s hands
were making as they explored her body, felt like it was real. Like this wasn’t another one of her dreams to wake up disappointed from. That it
wasn’t something she would have to stop in the middle of because her alarm went off. It was real. He was real. They were really in his gym about to
have sex on the mats of the sparring room.
She smiled at the thought, Zori’s lips leaving hers as his tongue traced a path from her lips to her neck. Fuck. Everything about him was
sexy. A turn on. The foreplay was getting to be too much and the longer it went on the stronger her stroke got. Wait[... It was a faint
sound. Her subconscious, trying to get her to do the right thing. To pull away from him. Think of her vows, to think of his. Zori told her
when he started training her that this couldn’t happen and she was making him a liar right now...but…Mmm...
Fumie moaned out again, as his back arched and he met with her a way that would have been so much more pleasurable if they relieved themselves of
clothing. Fuck! The anticipation was killing her. She heard his name fall from her lips again before she bit down to keep herself
quiet...well, quieter. She wasn’t sure how long that would last once they got…what? Fumie was pulled out of whatever trance she had been
in as Zori’s hand pulled hers out of his shorts. Their eyes connected and he gave her a weak ‘wait’. For what?! Why were they waiting? She
wanted this. He wanted this. What was there to wait for? She was sure the confusion was clear on face as Zori drew away from her...Fuck. She fucked
up. She’d done something wrong. She knew in the way he looked at her that they weren’t finishing this today and it just...FUCK.
“I’m sorry-,” her words came at a whisper as she was still trying to catch her breath. Fumie pulled her wrist from his grasp, propping herself
up on her forearms as Zori rolled from on top of her. He laid on his back next to her, the silence between them deafening as each of them searched for
something to say. What was there though? What could they possibly say to one another after almost having spur of the moment, comfort sex in public?
Fumie sighed, coming to lie flat on her back again. Her eyes stared at the ceiling as she spoke to him.
“Zori, please say something. I don’t…-,” She didn’t know what that was. In thinking back on the last couple of minutes, it all seemed to
happen so fast. One minute she was thanking him for being so understanding and the next she was…really thanking him. She didn’t know how
to fix this...probably because most of her didn’t feel like there was anything to fix. She didn’t regret what almost happened here. She regretted
not finishing it.
“I don’t know what to say…”
I was a heavy heart to carry but, he never let me down.
When he held me in his arms my feet never touched the ground.
The second his body left Fumie's, he regretted it. He regretted the warmth that escaped him soon as he rolled from on top of her, his body falling to
the mat. He covered his face with his hands as he closed his eyes, his breaths slowing with the seconds that passed in silence. Calming himself was
his first task as every single inch of him was awake and still resisting against him, anxious to return to Fumie, to feel her skin beneath his
palms...her lips against his. He bent his knees as he rubbed his face roughly, his feet planting on the mat as he steadied himself and attempted to
slow his racing heart. Tuning out her voice as she apologized needlessly. He needed her to stop apologizing as she didn't do anything wrong. It
was...him. He was responsible for as far as this had gotten. He could've stopped her. He could've told her to go home, get her head together and meet
up with him the next day when emotions weren't as high as they'd been. But he didn't...he let her kiss him and he'd kissed her back...and
more. The thought made him bite his lip. Processing what had just happened between them wasn't helping him, it was making his need for her worse.
The only thing he needed to process was the mark on her neck...the one her husband had probably placed there the night before.
Zori's hands went to his locks, his fingers massaging his head through tight knot he'd tied them into. That...was what had stopped him. A visible sign
of how much Fumie wasn't and would never be his. And how everything he'd just done with her didn't make him sad or angry...it made him motherfucking
jealous. Envious. Because he knew...regardless what he did to her body, no matter how she whispered his name when his hands traced her curves. No
matter how beautiful he told her she was or how passionately he made love to her...she would be Shemar's. She would belong to another man. And any
mark that he placed on her body, any way he decided to touch her would have Zori feeling like the runner up. Because that love mark did that. It made
him feel like he was fighting a loosing battle. Zori could have her body, but the man she shared a house, a family with...a life with...would always
have her heart.
His face crumpled at the thought, his ears tuning back into Fumie's whisper, her voice nervous and unsure. He wanted...he wanted to pull himself close
to her, wrap his arms around her...comfort her. But that wasn't his place...and it never would be.
"You don't have to say anything." He muttered, dropping his arms to his side. His hand grazed her's as it lay by his side. His fingers touched hers,
intertwining with hers. He turned his head to the side, his eyes catching hers again.
"No more apologies. Remember?"
"The greatest wisdom is seeing through appearances."
Fumie had no words. It was the first time in her life that she felt a situation needed fixing and didn’t all at once. She didn’t know why they had
stopped. Maybe she’d moved too fast or she’d…done something. It probably didn’t matter. Whatever the case was he was finished with this and
her for the time being. She could feel him moving next to her, adjusting and probably hoping to find a position that made him more comfortable with
the fact that he almost fucked a desperate housewife. Shit! What could she say to make this okay? How could they go back to before this all
went down?...Ha. How ironic that she came her to mend their friendship and solve one problem, and only ended up doing that by creating an even bigger
issue. FUCK! She knew he hadn’t wanted this! She should never have gotten as close as she had. She should have said her piece and left him
there. She should have gone somewhere to get her head together and tried this shit again when she was herself. But she hadn’t...and now? She
didn’t know what to say.
So she told him that. Asking him to say anything at all so that she knew she hadn’t completely messed things up with him. You don’t have to
say anything. Didn’t she? Maybe a little honesty for once? Should she have maybe mentioned the fact that less than three hours ago another man
had been inside her? How she had been more than prepared to let Zori in next? The fact that she didn’t feel bad about anything that had happened
between them this morning outside of stopping? She was horrible. She was officially the slut her husband always referred to her as and that
realization didn’t sadden her when she thought about Shemar. It made even more glaring how wholefully and totally unfair she was being to Zori. She
couldn’t have an affair. She couldn’t because she could never promise that it would be anything more than sex. She was married. And no matter how
miserable the two of them were together, Shemar would never let her leave.
The warmth in her palm from his hand taking hers brought her back to the present as he spoke again, reminding her that there would be no more
apologies. Staring into his eyes, she wanted to smile at him. She wanted to kiss him again for doing exactly what he had been since she got here and
understanding. She wanted...to finish...But she couldn’t do that. Rolling onto her side, her free hand reached for him, cupping his face as she
tried her damnedest not to start shit all over again. She bit her lip.
“I should go-,” Yes she knew that. And he knew it too. She should leave and prevent anything more from happening between them. But when did she do
what she should? She “shouldn’t” go. She needed to go.
“I have to go.” She said it as she pulled away from him completely. Her body up before he could protest. She didn’t even bother to zip her
jacket back up. She didn’t want time to think about it...to talk herself into going back.
I was a heavy heart to carry but, he never let me down.
When he held me in his arms my feet never touched the ground.
![[*]](images/davis/default_icon.gif){kind=icon}
